猪头逛大街2（2008）

现在倒不如关心一下我们自己
And now, how about you focus?
我们该想想回到美国之后要怎么办
We gotta figure out what to do when we get to the states.
我们没有钱 又没有身份证 我们一无所有
We don’t have wallets. we don’t have any id. we’ve got nothing.
我琢磨着我们应该在迈阿密附近上岸吧 是吗
Well, I figure we’re gonna land somewhere around miami, right?
我们只认识一个住在那里的人
There’s only one guy we know who lives down there.
-在那我们认识谁啊…拉泽 -正是
– who do we know that… raza. – yeah.
我们要去找拉泽
We gotta go see raza.
-再见了 -再见了
– adios. – hasta luego.
-再次感谢你们 -多么好的人啊
– thanks again. – what nice people.
伙计 我们到佛罗里达南部了
Man, south florida here we are.
那么 现在我们怎么去找拉泽?
Ok. so, now how do we get to raza’s?
用最专业的办法 走过去 走吧
The professional way. we walk. let’s go.
-走过去? -是啊
– walk? – yeah.
那raza的家应该…
So I guess raza’s…
-我们会找到的 会找到的 -在那边对吗 我猜是的
– we’ll find it, we’ll find it. …thataway. yeah.
-拉泽的家还真不错嘛 -就像迈阿密的犹太人区一样
– wow, raza’s place is pretty sweet. – kinda ghetto for miami.
你们不是来投诉声音太吵的吧
Y’all aren’t here to complain about the noise, are you?
不是 我们不是来…投诉声音太吵的
No. we’re not… here to complain about the noise.
我们是…
We’re…
我们来这里是找…
We are here to see…
-那人叫什么名字来着 我们来这里是找… -阴♥道♥
– what is his name? we’re here… – vagina.
不是 我们来这里是找拉泽的
No, we’re here to see raza.
好的 跟我来吧
Ok. follow me.
谢谢你 小姐
Thank you, ma’am.
那我们就跟着…你吧
We’ll follow… you, I guess.
她爽了 她爽了
she got it, she got it.
她高呼 来吧 来吧
she said, “boy, go ahead”.
只要我不摸它
as long as I don’t touch it.
我说 我♥干♥嘛要他妈的打断它
I said, “now, why the hell would I wanna interrupt it?”.
-你还蛮爱国的嘛 -谢谢赞赏
– very patriotic of you. – thank you.
哥儿们
hey, guys.
-拉泽 -什么事
– hey, raza! – what?
怎么了
What’s up?
-考玛尔和劳乐迪? -你最近怎么样
– kumar and roldy? – what’s up, man?
毕业典礼之后都没有见过你们了
I haven’t seen you guys since graduation.
你们在这里干嘛呢
What are you guys doing here?
慢着 你们怎么穿着橙色工人服?
Wait, what’s up with the orange jumpsuits?
-不不不 首要的问题是… -这说来话长…
– hey, no, no, question number one… – it’s kind of a long story. l…
-这个派对是怎么了 -你这是什么意思?
…what’s up with this party? – what do you mean?
那些女人都光着屁♥股♥到处走
There’s exposed vagina all over your house.
对啊 这是我的主意
Yeah. that was my idea.
我不知道你们的喜好 反正我已经厌倦了看别人袒胸露乳了
I don’t know about you guys, I’m sick of all the hype over topless.
真的吗 其实我还蛮喜欢的 那真是…
Really? I always liked toplessness. that’s…
-那真是太有我的风格了 -真的 我正在掀起…
– that’s just me. – yeah? well, I’m starting…
不♥穿♥内♥裤♥的潮流 所以 这里就是无内♥裤♥派对
The bottomless trend. hence, the bottomless party.
你们来南岸做什么呢
So what are you guys doing in south beach?
倒不如你来回答这个问题 我正要会会这些人
How about you answer that question? I’m gonna go check this out.
-你去哪啊? -风流快活去啊 哥儿们
– where are you going? – bang bang, buddy.
听着 实在非常抱歉了打扰你
Listen. I’m really sorry to bother you with this.
-你们没事吧 -还好啦
– you all right? – not really.
他们关起来还不到一个小时 就已经成功越狱了?
They were locked up for less than an hour, and they already escaped?
狗♥娘♥养♥的 千万别把风声泄露到新闻界那里
Damn it. make sure the press doesn’t get wind of this.
我不需要大众来指责我们是无能机构
Don’t need the public thinking we’re some two-bit operation.
明白了 长官
Got it, sir.
这肯定是阿尔巴尼亚或者是北朝鲜策划的
It must have been either al-qaeda or north korea who broke ’em up.
查一下他们在美国还有没有什么亲属
Find out if they have any relatives in the country.
你早就应该做这个了
You probably should have done that in the first place.
比彻 你是在质疑我的办事能力咯?
Do you have a problem with the way I’m running the show, beecher?
我只是说…
I’m just saying that…
我把李先生和考玛尔的档案都看过了
I’ve looked through the files on harold lee and kumar patel.
他们都是在新泽西长大
They were both born and raised in new jersey.
除了偶尔有几张超速罚单之外 他们并没有犯罪记录
Other than a couple of traffic tickets, they’re clean.
好啊 那他们就用这个借口越狱了
Right. that’s why they just broke out of prison.
但是他们…
But they…
他们应不应该被关起来还有待查证呢
it’s not even clear that they should have been there in the first place.
闭上你的…
Shut your…
你看着这个可爱的小女孩 比彻
You see this cute, little white girl, beecher?
好
Yeah.
你希望看见她被人强♥暴♥或谋杀吗
Do you want her to get raped and murdered?
当然不希望
Of course not.
你确定? 因为这就是美国
You sure? ’cause this is america.
-你希望有人强♥暴♥美国吗 -当然不
– do you want to rape america? – no.
那你就别他妈的跟我在这里啰啰嗦嗦
Then stop fucking with me.
这是很严肃的事
This is serious.
她太可爱了
She’s adorable.
这样说 你们就是逃亡者?
So you guys are fucking fugitives?
这都怪考玛尔
It’s just it’s kumar’s fault.
如果这次平安无事的话…
If we get out of this…
我们还能做朋友的机会真的是十分…
The chances of us remaining friends is highly…
十分的…咪♥咪♥啊
Highly… boobies. yeah.
你以为你在干什么啊
Hey, what do you think you’re doing?
穿上去 别再脱下来了
Put that back on. and keep it on.
-真抱歉 -你以为这是什么派对啊? 真是的
– sorry. – fuckin’ party do you think this is?
你们在聊什么呢
Yo. what are you guys talking about?
劳乐迪在跟我说你们的情况
Roldy was just letting me in on your situation.
-真的? -很感谢你把我也拖下水
– yeah? – thanks for getting me involved.
以前我们帮你向你前女友编造借口
What about that fuckin’ time we had to cover for you…
掩盖你所谓的这样那样的时候 又怎么算?
Lie to your ex-girlfriend about how you got crabs?
哥儿们 你欠我们的
You owe us, man.
-正是 没错 -什么
– yeah, that’s right. – what?
-那是咸丰年代的事情了 -我喜欢啊
– ok, that was a long time ago. – I love crabs.
说到前女友…
Speaking of ex-girlfriends…
你的前女友不是要结婚了吗
Isn’t yours getting married or something?
为什么除了我个个都知道?
How does everybody know about this except for me?
慢着
Wait.
克尔顿! 克尔顿·格雷姆能帮我们
Colton! colton graham can help us out.
-我才不要 -对了
– no! fuck that! – yes!
毫无疑问 除了他没有人能帮你们脱罪了
No doubt. if anyone could clear your names, it’s him.
不 很抱歉 我绝对不会让那个王八蛋帮我们的
No, I’m sorry. that dickweed is not helping us.
等等 你有他的联♥系♥方式吗
Wait a second. do you have his contact info?
没有了 但他的婚礼在他德州的家那里举♥行♥
Not anymore. but the wedding is at his family’s estate in hewitt, texas.
但是 你也不想选在他们正在
But you don’t want to bother them when they’re doing their whole…
办人生大事的时候找他吧?
Wedding thing, right?
你知道吗 或许那真是我们唯一的希望了
You know, that actually might be our only hope.
妈的 我们怎么去那里呢 我们又不能坐飞机去
Fuck! how do we get there? we can’t go to the airport.
他们正在通缉我们
they’re looking for us.
-我借一辆车给你们吧 -真的吗
– I’ll loan you one of my cars. – really?
但是…首先 你们来到派对就必须入乡随俗
But first… y’all got to get in the spirit of the party.
-你说什么啊 入乡随… -你认为我在说什么呢
– what do you mean, spirit of… – what do you think I mean?
-那你自己呢 -我? 我一直都是那么入乡随俗的
– what about you? – me? I’ve been in the spirit.
-天啊 -我的天啊 哥儿们
– oh, god! – oh, my god, dude!
我的天啊
Oh, my god!
-真喜欢你的老二 拉泽 -来啊 来试试吧
– love your dickdo, raza. – yeah. drink it in.
-什么鬼东西啊? -看起来就像拉♥登♥的胡子
– what the fuck? – that looks like osama bin laden’s beard.
我知道 好了 弟兄们
I know, right? all right, boys.
到你们了 展示出来吧
Your turn. let ’em dangle.
-还是来吧 -那就来吧
– let’s just do it. – bring it.
要数三声吗
Count of three?
一
One.
二 三
Two, three.
你的鸡鸡真棒 哥们!
Your cocks are awesome, man!
你没有必要那么招摇
That’s not even necessary.
-可不可以请你… -天啊 我的老二
– would you please… – oh, my dick!
我的老二是深夜的代价
my dick cost a late-night fee.
你的老二长艾滋
your dick got the hiv.
我的老二出现在了双频上
my dick plays on the double feature screen.
你的老二是廉价光碟
your dick went straight to dvd.
我的老二比桥还要长
my dick bigger than a bridge.
你的老二比小孩的都要短
your dick look like a little kid’s.
我的老二真威猛
my dick large like the chargers, the whole team.