猪头逛大街2（2008）

我们就知道你们这些王八蛋还会回来
We knew you fuckers would be back.
-狗屎 -可我们是美国人 长官
– holy shit! – but we’re americans, man.
-我们爱美国 我们爱美国! -爱的很深
– we love america. we love america! – very much.
这话说的真轻巧
That’s a convenient thing to say…
刚才你们还准备炸掉满载着美国人的飞机
After you try and blow up a plane filled with americans!
-不 -不 我们没有…
– no. – no, we didn’t do…
不 你错了
No, you see, you have the wrong idea.
我的白♥痴♥朋友就带了大♥麻♥…
My idiot friend here brought marijuana…
-上了飞机 -是啊
– on the plane. – yeah, hey, hey, hey, hey.
打住 hello kitty 好吗? 我知道你们的资金来源于毒品
Zip it, hello kitty. ok? I know your operation’s funded through drugs.
不 这是典型的政♥府♥过失 先生 我…
No. this is typical government bullshit, sir. l…
-闭嘴 闭嘴! -我…
– hey, hey, hey. shut up. shut up! – l…
-不 我试着在解释! -闭嘴 闭嘴 闭嘴!
– no, I’m trying to explain it! harold! – shut up, shut up, shut up!
闭嘴!
shut up!
我们有权打电♥话♥吗
Do we have the right to make a phone call?
好!
Yeah. yeah!
很抱歉 你现在要权利
I’m sorry. you want rights now.
你想马上自♥由♥
You want freedoms right now.
什么时间? 这是自♥由♥的时间吗
Is it time? is it freedom o’clock?
-猜猜 -什么
– guess what. – what?
你们要去的地方 从来没有人听说过什么是权利
Where you guys are going, they have never even heard of rights.
我们要去哪里?
Well, where are we going?
我们是无辜的 我们是无辜的!
We’re innocent men! we’re innocent men!
我是无辜的
I’m an innocent man.
我献过血
I donate blood.
送过小孩玩具
And toys for tots.
现在我被关在了关塔那摩监狱
And now I’m in guantanamo bay.
知道为什么我反对交税吗
See why I’m against paying taxes?
操♥你♥妈♥!
Fuck you!
哥们 冷静下来 好吗
Dude, calm down, ok?
乐观的看 这有水池 有厕所
Look on the bright side. there’s a sink. there’s a toilet.
那个枕头看起来很舒服
The pillow actually looks pretty comfortable.
好的 别再和我说话了 永远
Ok. you don’t speak to me, ever.
-永远 -好吧
– ever. – ok.
-不 闭嘴 -好
– no! shut up! – ok.
你们为什么来这里的?
So what are you guys in here for?
让美国人自食其果
For giving the united states a taste of their own medicine.
-你们是真正的恐♥怖♥分♥子♥吗 -有些人叫我们恐♥怖♥分♥子♥
– you guys are real terrorists? – some call us terrorists.
其他人叫我们英雄
Others call us heroes.
瞎扯淡 你认为杀害无辜的人是英雄行径?
Screw that. you think you guys are heroes for killing innocent people?
就是因为你们这些混♥蛋♥ 我们才会来这里…
It’s ’cause of assholes like you that we’re even in this fucking place…
你们这些懦夫!
You fucking cowards!
也许你们美国人停止吃甜甜圈..
Well, maybe if the people in your country stopped eating donuts…
开始想想你们政♥府♥都对世界做了什么…
And started realizing what your government is doing to the world…
我们这些混♥蛋♥就不会存在了
Assholes like us wouldn’t exist.
-操♥你♥妈♥的 甜甜圈棒极了 -太美味了
– fuck you! donuts are awesome! – they’re delicious.
你们喜欢甜甜圈?
You like donuts?
很好 等着瞧他们给你们吃什么吧
Well, wait till you see what they make you eat in here.
-什么 -他们给你们吃什么
– yeah? – what do they make you eat in here?
听过鸡♥巴♥三明治吗
Ever hear of a cockmeat sandwich?
什么鸡♥巴♥三明治?
What’s a cockmeat sandwich?
你自己会明白的
You’re about to find out.
就现在 蠢驴
Right about now. sucker.
鸡♥巴♥三明治来了 你知道怎么做
All right, cockmeat sandwich time. you know the drill.
他们呢 他们新来的
What about them? they just got here!
大鲍勃会好好”照顾”他们俩的
Big bob’s taking care of them.
-大鲍勃 -大鲍勃?
– big bob. – big bob?
但愿你喜欢甜甜圈
I hope you like donuts.
我们要工作了 听着 伙计们 你们慢慢享受吧
Let’s go to work. hey, listen, guys, enjoy.
妈的
Holy shit.
太棒了 就是这样
Oh, yeah, that’s it.
-这简直太恶心了 -不要 考玛尔 这太恶心了
– this is not good. – no, kumar, it is not good.
-我从没有吃过这种”甜甜圈” -我也是
– I’ve never had to suck a dick before. – me neither.
我猜感觉一定糟透了
I bet it sucks dick.
妈的 看
Shit, dude.
千万不要是大鲍勃 千万不要是大鲍勃
Please don’t let it be big bob. please don’t let it be big bob.
千万不要是大鲍勃 拜托了
Please don’t let it be big bob. come on.
千万不要是大鲍勃 千万不要是大鲍勃
Please don’t let it be big bob. please don’t let it be big bob.
千万不要是大鲍勃
Please don’t let it be big bob.
-千万不要是大鲍勃 -大鲍勃正是我
– please don’t let it be big bob. – I’m big bob.
-操 -没错
– fuck. -yes, you are.
你们准备好享用你们的鸡♥巴♥三明治了吗
You boys ready for your cockmeat sandwich?
没有?
No?
那么 你最好尽快培养出你的饥饿感
Well, you better get hungry real fast…
因为我为你们准备了丰盛的鸡♥巴♥三明治呢
Cause I got a whole lot of sandwich waitin’ for ya.
真♥他♥妈♥的
Holy shit!
-废话少说 来吧 -慢着 慢着 大鲍勃…
– all right, let’s get goin’. – hold on, hold on, hold on, big bob…
开始之前我想问你一个问题
I got to ask you a question before this all goes down.
-关塔那摩所有的警卫都是同性恋吗 -妈的 当然不是
– all the guards in guantanamo are gay? – fuck, no!
提供鸡♥巴♥三明治根本就不是同性恋的表现
Ain’t nothing gay about getting your dick sucked!
你们才是那些变♥态♥同性恋呢
You’re the ones that’s gay for suckin’ my dick!
-什么 -事实上…
– what? – in fact…
和你们这些同性恋在一起才让我恶心呢
Creeps me out just bein’ around you fags.
-但是… -来吧
– but… – all right.
-慢着… -跪下来…
– wait… – get down on your knees…
-张开你的嘴巴 -求你了 大鲍勃
– and open your mouths. – please, big bob.
你倒不如打我们一顿算了
Why don’t you just kick our ass instead?
-你们他妈的给我跪下 -好的 好的
– get on your fucking knees! – all right. all right.
-好的 好的 好的 -伙计 你先来
– all right, all right, all right, all right. – you go first, dude.
希望你会喜欢外加的蛋黄酱
Hope you boys like extra mayo.
-我的主啊 考玛尔 -天啊 我恨死你了
– jesus, kumar. – oh, I hate you so much!
我道歉 我道歉
I’m sorry. I’m sorry.
天啊 闻起来还有股屎味啊 伙计
God, his dick smells like shit, dude.
妈的
Holy shit!
-发生什么事了 -那个恐♥怖♥分♥子♥他妈的咬我
– what the hell happened? – that terrorist fuck bit my dick!
-来吧 -慢着 慢着 等一下
– come on. – wait, wait, wait, wait a second!
可以吗 万一我们跑到外面被人杀死怎么办?
Should we? what if they kill us out there?
但是我们不逃命就要吃鸡♥巴♥三明治了
They’re gonna fucking make us suck their dicks if we don’t.
我们会被活活折磨死的 快逃吧
We’re gonna die in here. come on.
-妈的 妈的 -娘的 娘的
– fuck. fuck. – oh, shit. oh, shit.
-娘的 娘的 -妈的 妈的
– shit. shit. – fuck. fuck.
-娘的 娘的 -妈的 妈的
– shit. shit. – fuck. fuck.
-娘的 快跑啊 -妈的
– oh, shit! get out! – fuck!
真♥他♥妈♥的
Oh, shit. shit.
门啊 门啊
Door, door.
看 快看
Look, look, look.
他在干嘛啊?
What the fuck is he doing?
我们现在就逃 现在 现在!
We’ve got to go now, now, now, now, now!
这味道就像屁♥眼♥烧着了
It smells like burnt asshole.
这真是太扯了 简直不敢相信
I can’t fucking believe this.
妈的
Fuck!
我的腕关节都肿起来了 大哥
My wrist is swelling, man!
-闭嘴 -我们要死在丛林里了
– shut up. – we’re gonna die in a jungle!
-闭嘴 -妈的
– shut up! – fuck!
小心印度豹 这里是它们的地盘
Watch out for cheetahs! this is cheetah turf.
-什么 -天啊
– what? – ok. fuck.
我们到海边了 那我们该怎么办?
We hit ocean. what do we do now?
好了
All right.
来 看啊
Hey, look, look!
打扰了
Excuse me.
你们要去美国吗
You guys going to america?
是的 我们去
Si, vamos.
是的 我们是去美国
Yes, we’re going.
谢谢
Thank you.
-是我们了 -上船吧
– es mio. – vamos, vamos.
告诉你吧 jorge
I’m telling you, jorge…
你去到美国之后要做的第一件事就是…
The first thing you have to do when you get to america…
买♥♥一台数字录像机 知道吗
Buy a device called tivo, ok?
如果整天跟着电视台的时间表走 自♥由♥还有什么意义…
Freedom means nothing if you’re a slave to regular programming…
我保证
I promise you that.