猪头逛大街2（2008）

感谢你关心
Thank you so much for the hook-up.
我遇见了陶德 当然了 在惠特克那儿
Hey, I ran into todd, at whitaker’s, of course.
他告诉我你在政♥府♥工作
He told me you got a job working for the government.
是的 布♥什♥总统和我老爸以前是一个兄弟会的
Yeah! yeah, president bush and my dad were in the same fraternity.
-这就对了 -我的天
– oh, that’s right. – oh, jesus.
是啊是啊 当他给我老爸一个国防部职位的时
Yeah, yeah, when he gave my dad that appointment at the defense department.
-我成了他的左右手 -柴油桶
– I became his right-hand man. – douche.
总统原本想出席我们的婚礼…
The president’s supposed to be at our wedding…
-但你也知道他有多忙 -是啊
– but you know how busy he is. – yeah.
听起来真不可思议 哥们
Sounds like an incredible job, man.
你有政♥府♥高层这个后台了
Hey, you really got some major connections to the top.
假如你有什么需要 我乐意效劳
If you ever need anything, I’m your man.
-真感谢你 哥们 -随时
– thank you so much, buddy. – anytime.
这哥们真铁
This guy’s the best.
-好了 亲爱的 我们要走了 -好的
– so, sweetheart, we should get going. – yes.
-见到你们真的很高兴 -再次恭喜
– good to see you guys again. – congratulations again.
-谢谢你 保重 谢谢 -这太好了
– thank you. take care, thank you. – it’s so nice.
-再见 -再见
– bye. – bye.
哥们 我真不相信他们要结婚了
Dude, I can’t believe they’re getting married.
我们俩分手才2年
We’ve only been broken up two years.
再加上那家伙约会强♥奸♥犯的脸
Plus that dude has date-rape face.
什么意思
I don’t even know what that is.
一个长着约会强♥奸♥犯脸的人
One who possesses the face of a date rapist.
好了 听着….
Right. listen…
很抱歉 兄弟
I’m sorry, bro.
可我们要去阿姆斯特丹 振作点
But we are going to amsterdam. come on.
这才对 这才对 劳乐迪
This is true. this is true, roldy.
一丁点儿
ooh wee.
-哥们 这真不象我 -是啊
– man, this is so not like me. – yeah.
我感觉脱胎换骨了 更好 更快 更强了
It’s like I’m a whole new harold. better, faster, stronger.
不错
Nice.
哥们 我以前从未有过如此郁闷的一天
Man, I’ve never used a sick day before.
我辞职一周了 哥们
I’m taking a whole week off from work here, man.
还有不到8小时 我们就到阿姆斯特丹了
And in less than eight hours, we’re gonna be in amsterdam.
-这真蠢 真蠢 -我知道 哥们
– this is nuts. this is nuts. – I know, dude.
只要这次旅行不糟糕的话 没准还会成为欧洲之旅呢
It’s gonna be exactly like euro trip, only it’s not gonna suck.
-会很棒的 -不会的
– it’s gonna be awesome. – it’s not not gonna be awesome.
哥们 这个美眉会让我犯错误的 太可怕了
Dude. dude, this chick’s giving me such a boner, it’s awesome.
谢谢你坏了我的美梦
Thank you. you ruined the moment.
她是你的了 哥们
She’s all yours, buddy.
-你想暂停? -我要去趟洗手间
– you wanna pause it? – I’m gonna go to the bathroom.
不要 这是…
No, that’s…
好好享受
Enjoy.
等一下
Just a minute.
去他妈…
Fuc…
让我进来
Let me in.
你在干吗 我在小便 奶奶的
What are you doing? I’m taking a piss, asshole!
我不会加入你的疯狂俱乐部的
I’m not joining the mile-high club with you.
那真正的快乐俱乐部呢
What about the really high club?
-你脑残啊 -当然不是
– are you retarded? – no.
你把大♥麻♥带到这个破飞机上来了?
You brought weed on the fucking airplane?
-是啊 -真♥他♥妈♥的
– yep. – what the fuck?
等等 你刚才让那个安检员出糗
Wait a second. you were giving that security guard shit.
是的 不然我怎么能通过安检?
Yeah. how else was I supposed to get past him?
为什么不能在飞机上带毒品?
By not bringing drugs on an airplane?
-听着…你在干什么 这是什么 -你会明白的
– look… what are you doing? what is this? – you’ll see.
李先生 我给你介绍一下我的新发明
Harold lee, I would like to introduce you to an invention of mine.
看看这管无烟烟枪
Meet the smokeless bong.
-你做的? -对 我做的
– you made this? – you know, I did.
当你疲于工作的时候…
When you were slaving away at work…
事实上我是一个有创造力的社会成员
I was actually being a productive member of society.
-这真是有创造性 -让我教你怎么弄
– yeah, that’s really productive. – let me show you how it works.
你取一点大♥麻♥…
So you take a little weed…
放进管子里面 然后象普通烟枪一样点着 懂了吗
Put it in the bowl right here and light it just like a normal bong, ok?
这里才是最具天才的部分
Now here’s the truly genius part.
在这个装置里面 我已经做了一个小小的风扇…
Inside this mechanism, I have actually made a little tiny, tiny fan…
还有消毒粉末 有点象除臭剂…
And some disinfectant powder, ok, it works sort of like a deodorizer…
它可以除去一切味道就象消毒剂
So that anything it expunges smells like lysol.
-拿开 -不 哥们
– put it away. – no, dude.
你就不能等我们到了阿姆斯特丹?
Can you not wait till we get to amsterdam?
它是世界毒品中心
It’s the weed capital of the world!
-不 -把烟管拿开!
– no. – put the bong away!
-来尝一口 哥们 -不!
– take the inaugural hit, dude. – no!
来嘛 哥们
Come on, man.
-那我来尝一口吧 -把这他妈的烟管拿开
– then I’m gonna do it. – put it away. put the frickin’ bong away.
对不起 对不起
I’m sorry. I’m sorry. turb…
恐♥怖♥分♥子♥!
Terrorist!
劳乐迪?
Roldy?
-他手里拿的是什么玩意? -不 阿婆 他不是恐♥怖♥分♥子♥
– what the fuck is that thing in his hands? – no, ma’am, not a terrorist.
-他只是个傻子 -只是根烟管
– he’s just an idiot. – this is just a bong.
他说他有炸♥弹♥!
He said he got a bomb!
不 各位 这只是用来抽烟的水烟管
No, people, it’s a water pipe for tobacco.
不不不 不是炸♥弹♥ 只是一根管子
No, no, no, it’s not a bomb. it’s just a bong.
毒气!
Poison gas!
这是大♥麻♥! 大♥麻♥!
It’s marijuana! marijuana!
你上错飞机了 你个死恐♥怖♥分♥子♥!
You picked the wrong plane, you terrorist fuck!
你在干什么
Hey! hey, what are you doing?
飞机上有三个空军中将 三个!
There are three air marshals on board. three!
我们不是恐♥怖♥分♥子♥ 那只是根管子 不是炸♥弹♥
We are not terrorists! sir, that’s a bong, not a bomb.
闭嘴!
Shut up!
我逮到了这个!
I got this one!
-劳乐迪? -拜托不要
-roldy? – please don’t!
我很痛啊
I am in a great amount of pain!
大家别慌张 安静下来 一切都被控制住了
Everybody relax. just calm down. everything is under control.
告诉机场我们要飞回去
Tell ’em to turn the plane around.
这两个王八蛋要回到美国去
these two assholes are goin’ back to the u.s.
福克斯部长 很高兴你来了
Secretary fox. glad you could make it.
想想我会错过一起严重的恐怖袭击吗
Think I’d miss a terrorist attack of this magnitude?
一点机会也没有
Not a fuckin’ chance.
这些是什么人?
Who are these people?
不同智囊团的代表
Representatives of the different intelligence agencies.
我还以为惠特摩秘♥书♥长♥会来呢
I assume secretary whitmore’s coming?
不 他正在冰河海湾钓鱼呢
Negative. he’s on an ice fishing trip in glacier bay.
他不在的时候我负责
I’m in charge while he’s gone.
难道不该提醒他一下吗
Well, shouldn’t he be alerted?
难道钓鱼比这还重要?
Isn’t this issue of more importance than an ice fishing trip?
你又是谁?
Who are you again?
约翰·比彻博士 国♥家♥安♥全♥局副♥主♥席♥
Dr. john beecher, vice chairman of the nsa.
好的 听着 大便博士
Yeah, well, listen, dr… dipshit.
你肯定从没钓过鱼
You’ve obviously never been ice fishing before.
-是的 没有 -这钓鱼真是他妈的爽呆了
– no, I haven’t. – yeah, well, it’s fucking exhilarating.
钓鱼的时候最忌讳的一件事情就是
The last thing anyone would want while fishing for pike is to be
被打搅
interrupted.
现在后退
Now back off…
让我来做事
And let me do my job.
那个长着对怪眼的人怎么了
What’s up with the guy with the weird eyes?
是残疾吗
He handicapped or something?
我们认为他是韩国人
We believe he’s of korean descent.
我的天
My god.
韩国和阿尔巴尼亚开始合作了
North korea and al-qaeda workin’ together.
这远非我所想象的
This is bigger than I thought.
你就不会等等?
You couldn’t wait?
你就他妈的不能等等?
You couldn’t fucking wait?
我们马上就会有合法的大♥麻♥了
We were about to have all the legal weed we wanted.
你懂吗 在阿姆斯特丹 我们去的地方
You know, in amsterdam, where we were going!
你们想把这个作为借口来脱罪?
Thought you could get away with this, huh?
你认为911后 国♥家♥安♥全♥系统只是摆设吗
You thought that after 9/11 our national security was a joke, huh?
很好…
Well…
猜猜怎么着
Guess what?
什么
What?