猪头逛大街2（2008）

不过诚恳的说 经历了这么多倒霉事之后
But, listen, to be honest, after all the shit that we’ve been through…
我们都不知道是不是该信任我们的政♥府♥了
I don’t know if we can trust our government anymore.
-信任政♥府♥ -是的
– trust the government? – yeah.
见鬼 我就在政♥府♥里面 我都不信任它呢
Heck. I’m in the government and I don’t even trust it.
你们不必去相信政♥府♥ 做个好公民就行了
You don’t have to believe in your government to be a good american.
你只要相信你的祖国
You just have to believe in your country.
说得很准确
Exactly.
-很准确 -好的
– exactly. – right.
这大♥麻♥挺爽的 是不是
This is good shit, isn’t it?
是的
Yeah, it is.
如果你们还需要什么的话 告诉我好了
If you guys need anything else, just let me know, all right?
事实上 总统先生 这还真有一件事情要求你
Actually, mr. president, there is one thing.
-这儿布置得真的很不错 -的确如此啊 老兄
– this really came out great. – yeah, it did, man.
我亲自点亮的这些蜡烛
I lit a lot of these candles.
太好了
Great.
-一切正常 -可以安全进入
– all clear. – safe to proceed.
他来了 我就知道他来了
He’s here! I knew he’d come.
好了 让他们进来
All right, let ’em in.
-发生什么了 -那是谁
– what is happen… – who is that?
-李? -考玛尔?
– harold? – kumar?
先生们女士们 对打断这美丽的仪式我深表歉意
Ladies and gentlemen, I apologize for interrupting this beautiful ceremony.
但是我绝不能就这样看着我曾经
But there is no way in hell…
深爱的女人嫁给这样一个人♥渣♥
That I’m letting the only woman I’ve ever loved marry that piece of shit.
保安 把他们清出去 快
Security, get them out of here, please.
保安? 看到没有 他们和我们是一起的
These guys? no, see, they’re with us. yeah.
看起来和你这个人♥渣♥比起来我和总统要更近些
Looks like I got a little more pull with the president than you, bitch.
-到底他妈的发生什么了 -我来告诉你发生了什么
– what the hell is going on? – I’ll tell you what’s going on.
你的新郎说帮我们解决这些麻烦
Your fiancé promised to get us out of trouble.
可是事实上 他是要把我们送回塔那摩监狱去
But instead he arranged for us to be sent back to guantanamo bay…
在哪里我们会被人强X给一个大胖子口♥交♥
Where we’d be forced to suck big bob’s fat dick.
-这是真的吗 -是的 这是真的
– is this true? – yeah, it’s true.
看来得我自己解决了
I’ll take care of this myself.
-等等 -你别管我…
– ok, wait. – no…
你个小垃圾
You son of a bitch.
我爱死你了 伙计
I loved you, man.
-我没法相信这个 -瓦纳萨 让我来解释一下…
– I can’t believe this. – vanessa, let me explain…
解释?
Explain?
解释一下你是怎么把我的婚礼
Explain why you’re putting me through…
变成我人生中最难堪的时刻吗
The most embarrassing moment of my life?
这样好不好 我也做一些让我自己丢脸的事情
Well, what if I did something embarrassing to myself?
那会不会让你感觉好些呢
Would that make you feel better?
还能有什么事情能比这还丢脸
There’s nothing you can do that would be this embarrassing.
我怕我将永远的孤独下去就像是三次方程式
I fear that I will always be a lonely number like root three
三次方正正好好
A three is all that’s good and right
为什么我的三次方要被三次方根除掉
Why must my three keep out of sight beneath a vicious square-root sign?
我希望我是9
I wish instead I were a nine
9可以应付这个小把戏 快快了结
For nine could thwart this evil trick with just some quick arithmetic
我知道我永远都看不到求和出结果那一天了
I know I’ll never see the sum
就像是17$21
As 1.7$21
你个呆子
You fucking tool.
安静点 别让嘴跟屁♥眼♥似的
Quiet, anus.
现实中我一团糟
Such is my reality a sad irrationality
等下 知道我看到了什么吗
When, hark, just what is this I see?
另一个三次方程式的根
Another square root of a three
就让华尔兹慢慢响起来
Has quietly come waltzing by
我们”乘在一起”
Together now we multiply
组成一个我们
To form a number we prefer
选出的”整数”
Rejoicing as an integer
我们打破3的监禁
We break free from our mortal bonds
挥舞魔力杖
And with a wave of magic wands
我们的方程式终于解开了
Our square-root signs become unglued
我们的爱也重新开始了
And love for me has been renewed
你说得对
You were right.
-那确实是很不完整 -我跟你说
– that was pretty lame. – told you.
我不能许诺给你克尔顿能给你的生活
Look, I can’t promise you the kind of lifestyle that colton could.
我也不能承诺我会一夜长大
And I can’t promise you that I’m gonna mature overnight.
但是我能够承诺给你的是…
But what I can promise you is that…
抱歉 我和总统抽了太多的大♥麻♥
Sorry, I smoked weed with the president.
我完全忘记了之后将要说什么了
I totally forgot what I was going to say.
我承诺会爱你一辈子的
I can promise you that I will always love you.
我也永远都不会让你去做你不愿意做的事情
And I’ll never try and make you into something that you’re not.
你对我有什么要求呢?
So, what do you say you take a brother back?
只要你能够让我
Only if you promise to get me out of this awkward situation…
摆脱些尴尬事
As soon as possible.
来
Come here.
那是我兄弟
That’s my boy!
快走 让那些不高兴的烂事儿都见鬼去吧
Come on. let’s get the hell back to jersey.
好的 等下 我得为我的兄弟做点什么
All right, hold on. first we gotta do something for my buddy here.
-我们得去个地方 -哪里?
– got to go somewhere. – where?
~哦 宝贝 你知道那要拿什么来换~
. ~ ooh, baby, do you know what that’s worth? . ~
~哦 天堂就在人间的~
. ~ ooh, heaven is a place on earth. ~
~他们说天堂里面唯爱是从~
. ~ they say in heaven love comes first. ~
~我们一起建起我们的天堂~
. ~ we’ll make heaven a place on earth. ~
~哦 天堂就在人间~
. ~ ooh, heaven is a place on earth. ~
-嘿 -嘿
– hey. – hey.
-还没找到 嗯? -没有
– no luck, huh? – no.
城里的每个旅店我都走过了 结果还是没有
Called every hotel in the city. I walked all around.
我哪里都找不到她了
I just can’t find her anywhere.
-我们会找到她的 老兄 -我们会找到她的
– we’ll find her. – we’ll find her, dude.
怎么了?
What?
天啊 她就在那里
Oh, my god, there she is.
-劳乐迪 她好热辣啊 -老兄还不快上!
– roldy, she’s hot. – dude, go get her!
真是遗憾啊 老兄
Jesus, I’m sorry, man.
-那算了吧 忘了她好了 -嗯
– so fuck it. forget about that. – yeah.
那只是一些阿姆斯特丹风车 对不对
It’s probably just some amsterdam fling, all right?
我很会回去泽西那里的
We’ll go back to the jerz…
-几天之内 好不好 -不
– in a couple of days, all right? – no.
不 算了吧
No, fuck it.
我从这么远来这里
I came way too far.
我经历了这么多倒霉的事情
We went through too much shit to…
我只是想要和她说一句话
I’m gonna talk to her.
别 别 老兄 别进去
No, no, no, dude, don’t go in there.
-我来了 -等下你
– come on. – just wait.
老兄 等我们在泽西岛回来的啊
Come on, man. wait till we get back to jersey.
你在干毛呢
What the fuck are you doing?
-(荷兰语) -李!
– c’est quoi ton putain de problème, toi? – harold!
我不知道你在说什么
I didn’t understand what you said.
-你干毛呢? -你干毛呢!
– what the fuck are you doing? – what the fuck are you doing, man?
-你还让不让我拍照了 -你什么?
– you’re ruining my shot. – you what?
别档我的镜头!
Get off my set!
我被搞糊涂了 到底…
I’m so confused. what’s…
-到底他在干什么? -李 我在拍照片
– what’s going on? – harold, I’m doing a photo shoot.
为那些时尚杂♥志♥
For high times magazine.
当然了 你是模特 你很热辣 你是个模特吗
Of course, you’re a model. you’re very hot. you’re a model.
这就难怪了 我一直很奇怪你做什么为生
Right. I always wondered what you did for a living.
抱歉 等下好了 那你不是和这个家伙是一起的?
I’m sorry. so, wait a second. so you’re not with this dude?
你开玩笑呢 我和他?
Are you kidding? me?
-是的 -才不是呢
– yeah. – no.
安东是个品味纯正的同志
Anton is like totally gay.
李 你来这干什么呢?
Harold, what are you doing here?
我不想在等10天才能再看到你
I didn’t want to wait ten days to see you…
所以吗 我想来给你个惊喜
So I thought I would come and surprise you.
那真是太好了
That is so sweet.
的确如此
Ok. it’s sweet.
这些天我一直都在想你
I’ve been thinking about you this whole time.
-你想我了? -是啊
– you have? – I have.
-我太想你了 -我也想你
– I missed you so much. – I missed you.
我靠 老兄
Fuck yeah, dude.
邦邦邦邦 劳乐迪
Bang bang, roldy.
你好 玛丽亚 我是考玛尔
Hello, maria. my name is kumar.