猪头逛大街2（2008）

看 树儿多么青翠
I see trees of green.
看 玫瑰多么艳丽
red roses too.
只为你我
I see them bloom.
它们争相绽放
for me and you.
我心中默想
and I think to myself.
这是多么美妙的世界啊
what a wonderful world.
看 天多么蔚蓝
I see skies of blue.
看 云多么洁白
and clouds of white.
如此欢悦的白天
the bright blessed day.
如此神圣的黑夜
the dark sacred night.
我心中默想
and I think to myself.
这是多么美妙的世界啊
what a wonderful world.
是啊
yes.
我默想
I think to myself.
这是多么美妙的世界啊
what a wonderful.
太爽了 哥们!
Yes, dude!
奶奶的 奶奶的 你干嘛呢
What the fuck? what the fuck? what are you doing?
我正使出吃奶的力气拉掉这泡屎 哥们
I’m taking the most incredible dump of all time, man.
难道你就不能等我洗完澡再过来拉屎?
You couldn’t wait till I got out of the shower?
难不成你忘了我们俩都吃了免费夹饼
May I remind you that we both just ate $0 burgers…
还有4个大份的薯条?
And four large orders of fries?
过一小会儿 我保证你也得来这儿蹲着
Don’t worry, in a little bit, I’m sure it’ll hit you too.
也许吧 但至少我会等你洗完澡再来
It may be. but I’m gonna wait till you get out of the shower.
别等得太久了 我们得在一小时之内赶去机场
Well, don’t wait too long. we’ve got to leave for the airport in an hour.
要放屁了
Ooh, that burns.
-一小时? -还有 劳乐迪?
– an hour? – hey, and, roldy?
是吗
Yeah?
好大的鸡鸡
Nice pubes.
他♥娘♥的♥ 给我滚出去
Asshole, get out of here right now.
-擦擦屁♥股♥给我滚出去 滚! -哥们 好大一陀!
– wipe and leave. wipe and leave now! – dude, this thing is huge!
上面还占着干酪呢
I think it still has cheese on it.
一丁点儿
ooh wee
一丁点儿
ooh wee
当我步入派对 所有女人都想知道
when I step into the party all the ladies wanna know.
我下面的是蛋蛋 还是个黑鬼
I’m hangin’ with the ballers, yeah, or my nigga ghost.
让我告诉你他们在说什么 假如你想知道
I can tell you what they say, haters, if you wanna know.
他们说 一丁点儿
they say ooh wee.
当我把摩西迪斯弄得很爽 所有女人都想要
when I’m rollin’ my mercedes all the ladies wanna roll.
做我的茱丽叶 我会是你的罗密欧
be my juliet and I can be your romeo.
假如你不合我口味 我可以再挑一个
if you actin’ menace I can pick another ho.
一丁点儿 一丁点儿
ooh wee, ooh wee.
一丁点儿
ooh wee.
夏天过半 貌似才过了二十几日
in the middle of the summer, or even 20 below.
我这个蠢货 我他妈的感觉极度寒冷
I’m a bad motherfucker I’m way too fuckin’ cold.
当我脱下内♥裤♥ 让我告诉你他们在说什么
let me tell you what they say when I’m pullin’ off my drawers.
他们说 一丁点儿
they say ooh wee.
一丁点儿
ooh wee.
一丁点儿
ooh wee.
我来派对仅想来段摇摆舞
my game’s here to party just to cut up a rug.
不要让我色相毕露
don’t make me have to cut up a thug.
DJ 请为我播一曲 没有什么可以去爱
now play something for me, dj, cause there’s nothin’ but love.
招待的女人们搜寻着她们的猎物
hosted by the ladies who lookin’ for somethin’ to rub.
一丁点儿
ooh wee.
哥们 我的天…我突然发现
Dude. oh, my go… I just realized something.
什么
What?
玛丽亚会认为我是一个尾随者 我正跟着她去阿姆斯特丹
Maria’s gonna think I’m a stalker, man. I’m following her to amsterdam.
哥们 放轻松点 再过10分钟 我还要去个医学院面试
Dude, relax. I have a med school interview in ten minutes.
你没看到我快抓狂了吗
You don’t see me freaking out.
别担心 哥们 她会很高兴见到你的
Don’t worry, man, she’ll be psyched to see you.
高兴? 你认为她会很高兴见到我?
Oh, psyched? you think she’s gonna be psyched?
当然 哥们 为什么不呢
Totes, dude. why wouldn’t she be?
你看这个能成吗
So how does this work?
我们只要在阿姆斯特丹露一下脸 接着打电♥话♥去宾馆…
We just… we show up in amsterdam and we start calling hotels…
然后问问他们是不是有个叫玛丽亚的人住那里
And ask if they have a maria staying there?
-我甚至都不知道她姓什么 -哥们 太酷了
– I don’t even know her last name. – dude, it’s totally cool.
我们铁定能找到她
We’re definitely gonna find her.
阿姆斯特丹是个小地方 不可能…
Amsterdam is a very small place. it’s not gonna be…
先生 请您站到旁边来 我要搜查你
Sir, I need you to step aside, please. let me search you.
-安检机器响了吗 -不 没有
– did I beep? – no, you didn’t beep.
是随机的安全检查
Just a random security check.
你能站到旁边来吗 可以吗 就这儿
If you could just step aside, please? just over here.
-随机的? -是的
– random, huh? – yeah.
和我的种族没关系?
So this has nothing to do with my ethnicity?
考玛尔 照这家伙说的做
Kumar, just do what the guy says.
先生 机场安检工作是我们的职责…
Sir, it’s our job as airport security…
找出所有可能存在的武器和违禁药品
To search for all possible weapons or illegal drugs.
所以就因为我的肤色
So just because of the color of my skin,
你认为我携带了毒品?
you assume that I have drugs on me?
-不 他是… -你是种族主义者 ?
– no, he’s… – what are you, a racist?
族主义者? 兄弟 我是黑人
Racist? dude, I’m black.
他是黑人 他不是种族主义者
He’s black. he’s not a racist.
拜托 哥们 你皮肤连棕色都算不上
Please, dude, you’re barely even brown.
不是啦 他不是这个意思啦
No, he didn’t mean that.
和我相比较 你更象马太·佩里
Compared to me, you look like matthew perry.
你喊谁马太·佩里 贱♥人♥
Hey, who you calling matthew perry, bitch?
我叫你马太·佩里 你个马太·佩里模样的贱♥人♥!
I’m calling you matthew perry, you matthew perry-iooking bitch!
没人像马太·佩里 没人!
No, there’s nobody here who is matthew perry. no one!
发生什么事了?
What is going on here?
先生 马太·佩里认为我携带毒品
Sir, matthew perry over here thinks that I have illegal narcotics on me…
因为我是少数民族
Because I’m a minority.
这是典型的种族歧视…
This is textbook racial profiling…
我会万分高兴去美国公民自♥由♥协会或政♥府♥…
And I’d be more than happy to call the aclu or the government…
别别别 先生 很抱歉打搅你了
No, no, no, no, no, no, no. sorry for the inconvenience, sir.
-你可以走了 -非常感激 谢谢 马太·佩里
– you can move along. – I appreciate it. thanks, matt perry.
你都做了什么
Hey, what are you doing?
我♥干♥了什么? 你什么意思嘛 他叫我马太·佩里
What do you mean, what am I doing? he called me matthew perry.
你是看起来象马太·佩里吗
Well, you look like matthew perry.
-他是个白人! -那又怎样?
– he’s white! – so what?
哥们 为什么每件事情你都非得争得死去活来?
Why does everything have to become a huge argument with you, man?
因为这是美国 哥们
Cause this is america, dude…
只要我有言论自♥由♥ 没人能让我闭嘴
And as long as I have my freedom of speech, no one’s gonna shut me up.
考玛尔?
Kumar?
劳乐迪?
Roldy?
-瓦内萨 -我的天
-vanessa. -oh, my god!
-很高兴见到你 -见到你太开心了 我…
– good to see you. – so good to see you. l…
我的天 我们太久没见面了 你们在做什么
God, it’s been forever. what are you guys doing?
事实上我们正在去阿姆斯特丹的路上
We’re actually on our way to amsterdam.
-阿姆斯特丹? -是的
-amsterdam? -yeah.
你们俩看起来一点都没变
Well, you guys haven’t changed.
你可变了 你好漂亮 你的头发…
You have. you look amazing. your hair is diff…
-她漂亮吧 -当然
– doesn’t she look amazing? – yeah.
你真是太漂亮了 对不起
Yeah, you look great. you look awesome. sorry.
我应该说你是与众不同了…
What am I even saying? you look different and…
-考玛尔·佩太尔 你看上去很狼狈啊 -一点点了
-kumar patel, you’re flustered. -little bit.
你怎么样了 还在和那个穿茄克衫的柴油桶约会?
So, what’s up with you? you still dating the abercrombie-wearing douchebag?
事实上 是布鲁克斯 兄弟们
Actually, it’s brooks brothers.
克尔顿! 你还好吧 兄弟?
Colton! how are you, buddy?
-很高兴见到你 -很高兴见到你
– good to see ya. – good to see you.
我们俩不再约会了
And we’re not dating anymore.
我们…要结婚了
No. we… are getting married.
恭喜你们了
Congratulations, you guys.
-你们他妈的要结婚了? -是啊
– you’re fucking getting married? – yeah.
-什么时候 -下星期
– when? – next week.
那将是完美的一天
It’s going to be a perfect day.
我们想布置些占星师百合花束
I mean, that’s assuming we get those stargazer lilies for the bouquets.
那个花农一定会发疯的
This florist has been a complete nightmare.
奶奶的
Fucking assholes.
实际上克尔顿独自计划了整个婚礼
Colton’s practically planning the whole wedding all by himself.
劳乐 布鲁斯特放你一小会儿假了?
So, rold, brewster keegan letting you off the leash for a little vay-cay?
克尔顿 我坐上那个位子了
I own that place now, colton.