议事录（2019）

原谅她吧，我说
她的才华都白白浪费在花♥园♥里了
Forgive her, I say, for she’s squandered herself
on the herbaceous border
她本应成为光彩夺目的一号♥人物呢
When she ought to have been someone dazzling
– 你才没那么说呢
– 我的确这么说的
– You don’t say that
– I do
我说，难怪她像次等王孙一样豪饮无度
No wonder she drinks like a minor royal, I say
你看到了吗？如果有必要，我也可以
给你做心理分♥析♥，即使不借用那些小说
There you are, you see? I can do your psychology
if I have to. Even without the novels
可怜的戴，我说
她的才华都在这穷乡僻壤白白浪费了
Poor old Di, I say.
She’s wasted down here in the country
我是说，鉴于你的酒量
你即使住在伦敦也会被浪费（终日酒醉）
I mean, knowing your gin intake,
you’d be wasted up in London too
你知道吗，圣诞期间在医院里，他们的确问过
有这方面的家族病史吗？
They did ask, you know. In the hospital at Christmas.
Any history of it in the family?
因为显然它是可以代代遗传的
就像下颌发育不良一样
Because apparently it can be passed down.
Like a weak chin
– 那从三层楼梯上摔下来的冲动
– 你在干什么，戴安娜？
– The urge to fling oneself down three flights of stairs
– What are you doing?
– 干什么？
– 你究竟要达到什么目的？
– Doing?
– What the hell are you trying to achieve?
我想我可以开车去牛津
径直走进班伯里路上的BBC大楼
I suppose I could drive into Oxford.
Walk into the BBC building on the Banbury Road
或许我有一些他们可能感兴趣的内♥幕♥消息
Say I’ve got a bit of background
they might be interested in
带一卷旧胶片
他们会看的
Take the old cine film with me. They’d watch it
我不知道你在玩什么把戏
但我现在就跟你讲，我没兴趣陪你玩
I don’t know what this game is,
but I’m telling you now, I don’t want to play it
好吧，恐怕今天玩个新把戏了
Yes, I’m afraid it’s going to have to be
a new one today
– 新的…？
– 把戏
– A new…?
– Game
你把你的耻辱揭示给我看，我就给你看我的
大意如此
You show me your shame, I’ll show you mine.
That’s the gist of it
天哪，真倒霉，恐怕我今天不能玩什么把戏了
我开了病假条
Gosh, what rotten luck. Because I’m afraid I’m
off games today. Note from matron and everything
就把这当成一种忏悔吧
Think of it as a sort of confession
– 什么？
– 尽管有点不礼貌
– I’m sorry?
– Bad form notwithstanding
– 忏悔？我的天哪
– 恐怕如此，罗宾
– Confession? Oh my God
– ‘Fraid so, Robin
– 不是吧！原来是你！
– 你什么意思？
– No! So it was you!
– What do you mean?
你怎么能这样，戴安娜？
几个月来，我一直以为是狐狸给我害的
How could you, Diana? There I was, all these
months, thinking it was the fox and it wasn’t
– 狐狸？
– 结果是我自己的妻子
– The fox?
– It was my own wife
我都能想象到我在伦敦的时候
你拿着锅铲的样子
I can see you now, out there with the trowel
while I’m up in London
– 你真来劲了
– 就为了让我血压飙升？
– There we are
– Just turning up the dial on my blood pressure?
是打这个主意吗？加快我无可避免的
冠状动脉硬化的进程？
Is that the idea? Hastening the arrival
of the long promised coronary?
你够了
That’s it
别以为我没发现你
试图让我胆固醇爆表的阴谋诡计
Don’t think I haven’t spotted you
trying to get my cholesterol up
上周末我看到你
偷偷在给我炒蛋的时候故意多加蛋黄
I saw you last weekend,
slipping an extra yolk into my scrambled egg
我真是可怜啊
老实说，我都不明白我为什么每周末还要回来受更多罪
Poor me, honestly. And yet every week I come back
for more. That’s what I can’t understand
哦天呐，你知道肯定是怎么回事吗？
我肯定仍然爱着你
Oh Christ. You know what it must be?
I must still love you
可能是真的，你知道吗
可能就是爱情，可能就是渴望
It might be true, you know.
It might be love. It might be longing
你怎么敢这么说！
Don’t you dare do that
你知道我在车里的时候试图想起什么吗？
那个把自己大脑做了防腐处理的人是谁？
You know what I was trying to remember in the car?
Who was it that had his brain preserved?
一想到去世之后，自己脑中所有
奇迹都将烟消云散
Couldn’t bear the thought that when he died, all the
wonders of his mind were just going to evaporate
所以他就把它腌起来了
你还记得吗？
So he had it pickled. Do you remember?
– 还是某个哲学家来着
– 边沁（Jeremy Bentham，功利主义哲学家）
– It was one of the philosophers
– Bentham
– 我们在帝国理工的筹款会上看到的
– 边沁
– We saw it at that fundraiser. UCL
– Bentham
– 就是他！干得漂亮，老姑娘
– 你看，我还宝刀未老呢
– That’s right. Well done, old girl
– All still there, you see
我觉得他的这个想法也不坏
把自己腌进香料，住在储藏室里
I was thinking it’s not a bad response, is it?
Set oneself in aspic. Live on in the larder
要不然人身后还能真正留下什么呢？
怎么面对最后审判呢？
Because what will one leave behind otherwise?
Really? At the final reckoning?
哦我也不知道…
一个管制松弛的金融产业？
Oh I don’t know…
A deregulated financial services industry
– 什么啊？
– 一个更不平等的社会
– What’s that?
– A less equal society
– 我是认真的
– 我也是啊
– I mean it
– So do I
拖着一袋死者的衣服捐到慈善商店去
A bag of one’s clothes
trundling down to the charity shop
这就是一个人最好的指望了吗？
人死了，衣服还穿在别人身上
Is that the best one can hope for?
One may be dead, but one’s suits will still be worn
有了苏·莱德谁还需要上帝呢？
（苏·莱德是英国一家姑息治疗和丧亲支持慈善机构）
Who needs God when you’ve got Sue Ryder?
感谢上帝赐予我们议会议事录
这是我们行事最大的安慰
Thank God for Hansard.
Because that’s the great consolation in all this
那已被记录成文，将在下议院图书馆永存的议事录
That one’s been transcribed. That one will live on
in the library of the House of Commons
或许会发一个讣告之类的
我只是个小人物，但也不是没有贡献
Throw in an obituary of some sort, presumably.
Minor figure, but not without his contributions
大概不会保证占一整页版面
但我觉得肯定会给我留半个版面吧？向我挥手告别？
I don’t suppose I’d warrant a full page, but I think
they’d give me half, don’t you? To wave me off?
连半个版面都不给？
那太糟了，我做了这么多努力啊
Or not even half?
That would be the nightmare. After all this effort
我去了那公♥寓♥
I came up to the flat
– 抱歉？
– 星期三的时候
– I’m sorry?
– On Wednesday
– 但我星期三的时候不在那儿啊
– 你的确没在
– But I wasn’t there on Wednesday
– No you weren’t
– 我是在…
– 是的
– I was…
– Yes you were
哦，我明白了
Oh, I see
– 真倒霉，不是吗？
– 你该告诉我
– Rotten luck, wasn’t it?
– Well, you should have said
– 你该预先提醒我的
– 但这不是计划好的，你明白吗？这才是问题所在
– You should have warned me
– But it wasn’t planned, you see. That’s the trouble
前一分钟我还坐在这里，听你的同事
在广播里高谈安全措施
One minute I was sitting here, listening to your
colleagues talking about safeguards on the radio
等我反应过来，我就已经身处伦敦地铁了
它载着我冲上斯托肯彻奇山
Next thing I know, I’m in the mini metro,
hurtling up Stokenchurch Hill
我怎么知道你星期三不在呢？
And how was I to know it was Wednesdays?
因为咱们以前的幽会是在星期四
不是吗，在我的前任统治时期
Because it used to be a Thursday in our day,
didn’t it, during the reign of my predecessor
– 你好多年没到公♥寓♥来过了
– 我知道
– You haven’t come up to the flat for years
– I know
– 你以前从不会没告诉我就突然造访的
– 难以忍♥受，不是吗？
– You’ve never come up without telling me
– Unbearable, isn’t it?
你想干嘛？
What did you want?
你瞧，我觉得有一两件事
我们应该讨论一下
Well, there were one or two things
I thought we ought to discuss, you see
– 一两件…
– 是啊，我明白
– One or two…
– Yes, I know
我知道这不是家族风格
但我觉得我们不妨一试
I know it isn’t the house style,
but I thought we might give it a go
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