议事录（2019）

错当成对世界的真正理解
So easy to mistake an expensive education
for an actual understanding of the world
你就不能重来一下吗，就这一天？
Yes, you couldn’t rekindle it, could you?
Just for the day?
– 重来？
– 之前那种点头认可 就只在朋友们面前做个样子
– Rekindle?
– The early nodding. Just in front of our friends
你说怎么样？不求你完全成为诺玛·梅杰
（保守党政客约翰·梅杰的夫人）
What do you think?
I’m not asking for the full Norma Major
我想要的更像是一种……延滕寺的感觉
虽破败已久，却屹立不倒
（延滕寺，位于威尔士的废弃修道院，华兹华斯写有同名诗作）
I’m thinking more a sort of… Tintern Abbey feel.
We may be ruined, but we’re still standing
在外人面前做个多少还算美满的样子
Present something more or less intact
to the outside world
尽量别太早就用雪利酒把自己灌醉？
Try not to get downwind of the sherry
too early on in proceedings?
你倒也不用真的听我说话
There’d be no need
to listen to what I was saying
就用这招，只需要偶尔跟着我点头即可
That would be the trick.
Just nod along with me occasionally
我母亲当年就把这招用在我父亲身上
That’s how my mother dealt with my father
“没错，亲爱的”，她每隔三四分钟就这么说
“正是如此”，说着点点头
‘Yes, darling’, she’d say every three or four minutes.
‘Quite right.’ Little nod
这就是你希望我们两个达到的目标？
像你父母那样？
And that’s what you’d like us to aim for, is it?
Your parents?
– 对他们两个挺奏效
– 哈！
– Well, it worked pretty well for them
– Huh!
你想笑就笑
但是他们结婚六十年 想必有些事是做得对的
You laugh, but they were married for sixty years.
They must have got something right
– 我的天
– 怎么？
– Oh my God
– What?
你不是开玩笑吧
You’re not joking, are you
怎么？我认为他们的婚姻很成功啊，不是吗？
总得来说
Why? I think they had a pretty successful marriage.
Didn’t they? On the whole
罗宾，你父亲在赫默尔亨普斯特德有一个情妇和两个孩子
Robin, your father had a mistress
and two children in Hemel Hempstead
– 哦，这事啊
– 他的另面人生和他的主流生活同时进行
– Oh, that
– He had an entire second life running in parallel
– 说实在的，不是这样
– 那你说他们是什么？
– Of course he didn’t. Honestly
– What would you call them, then?
– 哎呀，时代不同嘛
– 那是1962年
– Well, it was a different time
– It was 1962
关键是，这对他们行得通
The point is, it worked for them
错了亲爱的，只对他一个人行得通
我理解，这两者的区别微乎其微
No, darling, it worked for him.
I realise that’s an incredibly nuanced distinction
我的天，我猜他当年也是星期三私会
Oh Christ, I bet he did them on a Wednesday too
– 他们过得比我们幸福
– 你说什么？
– They were happier than we are
– I’m sorry?
我父母，在你继续说之前我得说出来
My parents.
Before you go on any more
– 你不会认为你母亲过得很幸福吧？
– 我当然这么认为
– You don’t think your mother was happy?
– Of course I do
– 哦，罗宾
– 怎么？
– Oh, Robin
– What?
– 你有没有试过给她一个拥抱？
– 妈妈么？
– Did you ever try to give her a cuddle?
– Mummy?
你肯定没有，我试过一次
No, of course you didn’t.
I tried it once
– 她不擅长用肢体接触表达感情
– 她基本已经丧失作为人类的基本功能了
– Well, she wasn’t touchy-feely
– She was barely functioning as a human being
你看，这就是问题
你认为所有人都像你一样情绪丰富
No, you see, this is it.
You think everyone is like you. Psychological
但事实上，人是完全可以不陷在那些东西里的
The fact is, it’s perfectly possible
not to get bogged down in all that
亲爱的，你有个异母兄弟我从没见过
Darling, you have a half-brother I’ve never met
关键在于，人可以选择不让自己成为这些事的受害者
The point is, one can choose
not to become a victim of these things
– 没错，这叫拒绝接受现实
– 不是
– Yes, it’s called denial
– No
不过我想，伊顿肯定不教弗洛伊德
But then I’m sensing
they didn’t teach you Freud at Eton
你想怎么样，要人彻底精神崩溃才满意？
What would you have preferred?
A full nervous breakdown?
– 什么？
– 或者轻度抑郁症？
– Sorry?
– Or would a light depression have done it?
我跟你说
这种要深挖一个人所有问题的想法大错特错
I tell you, this the great mistake. This idea
that one ought to excavate all one’s problems
这些人把大好的时间拿来
All these people spending
the productive parts of their day…
跑到北伦敦躺在沙发上聊童年
…lying on a sofa in North London
talking about their childhood
– 你认为这是自我放纵？
– 我认为这是自我毁灭
– You think it’s self-indulgent?
– I think it’s self-sabotage
就像没事就掀开引擎盖检查引擎
其实你只管坐到车里开上路就好
This lifting up the bonnet and peering at the engine
all the time. Just get in the car and drive
– 坐到车里开上路？
– 向外看
– Get in the car and drive?
– Look outwards
之前你不是还说外面路况可怕吗？
But I thought you said it was a nightmare
out there on the roads
什么？
What?
每周末从汉格巷回旋杀出一条路
Fighting your way through
the Hangar Lane gyratory every weekend
我不是反应愚钝，戴安娜
我说的是以我的人生经验，关键是要去做事
I’m not being obtuse, Diana. I’m saying that in my
experience of life the trick is to do something
做什么事其实都不太重要
只要选中一件事然后全力去做
It doesn’t even really matter what it is. Just pick
something and do it to the best of your ability
从个人成就而不是个人身份中去获取满足感
Derive a sense of satisfaction from one’s
accomplishments rather than one’s identity
知道为什么吗？因为这很危险
And do you know why?
Because it’s dangerous, actually
这种抓住问题不放的行为
这种搞清自己是谁的执念
This fixating on your problems.
This obsession with working out who you are
– 危险吗？
– 这是很可怕的
– Dangerous?
– Frightening. It is
谁知道你会发现什么
You never know what you might find in there
知道什么才可怕吗
是你这样的人在负责这个国家的孩子
No, you know what’s frightening? The fact
that you lot are in charge of the nation’s children
所以我才觉得我需要告诉人们这些
But then, this is what I feel
I need to tell people, you see
苍天在上！我可不要看这个破录像！
Oh, for goodness sake!
I am not going to watch a wretched cine film
给我住手！
整个上午我都由着你，但我受够了
No, stop! I’ve let you go on like this
all morning but that’s enough
太够了，你的行为太恶劣了
More than enough. You’re behaving appallingly
看看这一片狼藉，你这可恶的女人
把这些都装回盒子里
Look at all this mess, honestly.
Wretched woman. Put it all back in the box
– 把所有东西都装进盒子？
– 没错
– Put it back in the box?
– Yes
– 哦亲爱的
-怎么？
– Oh, darling
– What?
我说，虽然咱们不信弗洛伊德那一套……
I mean, I know we don’t believe in Freud…
总有一天，我就彻底不会回来了，知道吗
One day I just won’t come back, you know
– 你说什么？
– 总有一个周末
– Sorry?
– One weekend
我不会从柏福德回家，我会一直开下去，我会的
开过切尔滕纳姆，赫里福德
一路向西直到阿伯里斯特威斯（威尔士港口）
I won’t turn off at Burford. I’ll keep on driving.
I will. On past Cheltenham. Hereford. Aberystwyth
我完全可以这样做，留你枯坐在这里
I could do it, you know. Leave you sitting here
我猜狐狸迟早会登堂入室的，是不是
从房♥子下面挖地道
I suppose the foxes would get in eventually,
wouldn’t they? Tunnel under the house
从地板里钻出来
如果到时候你还没有被杜松子酒干掉
Come up through the floorboards.
If the gin hadn’t got you first
怪不得不能让没文化修养的人来治理国家
你们根本不读书
But then this is why you can’t trust the philistines
to run the country. It’s because you don’t read
– 什么？
– 来说说看，你上次读小说是什么时候？
– What’s that?
– Go on. When did you last read a novel?
小说？你认真的？
呃……我复活节读了杰弗里·阿彻的书
（英国政客，作家，曾任保守党副♥主♥席♥）
A novel? Really?
Er… I read that Jeffrey Archer over Easter
– 杰弗里·阿彻不算数
– 这话我会告诉他的
– Jeffrey Archer doesn’t count
– I’ll tell him you said that
因为你觉得读小说是浪费时间，对不对？
Because you think it’s a waste of time,
don’t you. Fiction
明明有那么多丘吉尔传记和二战历史可读