议事录（2019）

‘You’re not getting Alzheimer’s, are you?’
我没有
I did not
“先是把西葫芦忘在放刀子的抽屉里，现在又来这一套？”
‘First you left that courgette in the knife drawer,
and now this’
行了，我倒是记得那个西葫芦
和切面包的刀藏在一起
Oh no. I do remember the courgette,
it was tucked away with the bread knife
所以你看，就是那么回事
There we are, you see
当我努力回忆那一晚的细节
Forcing myself for a moment to recall
the details of the night in question…
– 什么？
– 法官大人，当我努力地
– I’m sorry?
– Forcing myself, your honour…
回想这一次痛苦的经历，我必须说我感到难以承受
…to revisit the whole painful episode,
I feel bound to say that I was overcome
– 是吗，难以承受？
– 辩护理由如下
– Overcome, were you?
– To state the case for the defence…
– 这一切都是杜松子酒的作用
– 别又提这个
– …it was the gin fumes wot did it
– Oh don’t start that up
我妻子爬上♥床♥时
那感觉就像是酒瓶回收站吹来一阵风
Because I’m afraid it’s like being downwind
of the bottle bank when my wife clambers into bed
我说的句句属实，法官大人
That’s the truth, your worship
恐怕这所谓的”诱惑”闻起来就像
婚礼后第二天早上的帐篷一样满是酒气
I’m afraid this ‘allure’ smells like a marquee
the morning after a wedding
好吧
Yes, all right
– 说到这个
– 什么？
– Speaking of which…
– What?
– 我的个天！
– 怎么了？
– Holy shit!
– What?
看看这个！
我亲爱的，你的肝脏可真是奇迹一般的存在啊
Look at that!
My darling, your liver is a thing of wonder
连杜博尼酒开胃酒都空了 我的老天
丹尼斯·撒切尔（首相之夫）都比不了你
And the Dubonnet too.
My God, Dennis Thatcher has nothing on you
“盖世功业，敢叫天公折服”
（雪莱《奥斯曼提斯》，王佐良译）
‘Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair’
行了，我记得你说过我不在这的话你是不需要喝酒的
That’s it. I thought you said you didn’t
need to drink when I wasn’t here
有时候只是想到你就够了
Sometimes just the thought of you is enough
等你死了我要想办法用你的肝脏做些什么
I shall have to do something with it when you die
医学史上一大奇迹
应该为了国家把它保存起来
One of the great wonders of medical science.
Preserve it for the nation
我想某个教学医院应该会收的，你说呢？
我可以顺便捐赠一笔钱
I imagine one of the teaching hospitals would take it,
don’t you? I could do an endowment to go with it
– 你还要继续吗？
– 就叫“酩酊基金”
– You’re still going, are you?
– One for the lush fund, I shall call it
– 老天，你还要继续
– 我要找人做块铭牌
– Oh my God, you are
– I shall get a little plaque made
上面就写，这是戴安娜·赫斯基斯的肝脏
永“酒”捐赠，慷慨之至
Here lies the liver of Diana Hesketh, it will say.
Ginorously donated
– 好了，差不多就这样吧
– 来啊，我能再战一轮
– Yes, you’ve done that now
– Oh go on. I can have one more bash
– 不行
– 那好吧
– No you can’t
– No, all right
– 还不错，是不是？
– 还行吧
– Wasn’t bad, though, was it?
– It was fine
– 没有助跑的情况下
– 什么？
– Without a run-up
– Sorry?
– 在一天中这个时候
– 就是这个！
– This stage in the day
– That’s it!
– 就是什么？
– 我可太开心了
– That’s what?
– Oh, I’m so pleased
– 你干什么？
– 你果然记得立定跳远
– What are you doing?
– You do remember the standing jump
– 你说什么？
– 我就知道你记得
– I’m sorry?
– I knew you would
真是今天最开心的事了，罗宾
一想到你可能忘了我就觉得难过
Oh that’s really made my day, Robin.
It felt too awful that you could have forgotten
尤其是我还记得当初看到他得奖你有多开心
Particularly because I remember you being
so pleased at the time that he’d won something
是叫立定跳远对吧？不是我编的吧？
It was called the standing jump, wasn’t it?
I’m not making that up?
双脚起跳，直接跳进沙坑里
Both feet together and they just
threw themselves out into the sandpit
– 但是你猜怎么？
– 你这是干什么？
– But you know what?
– What are you doing?
– 我们拍了录像的
– 什么？
– We had a cine film of it
– Sorry?
是不是？我们拍了运动日的
Didn’t we?
Of the sports day. We did
拍了颁奖仪式，拍了Tom到处翻跟头
Prize-giving ceremony. Tom cartwheeling about
记得吗？你当然记得
You remember? Well, of course you do
你一向喜欢这种运动日
还常常为它们眼泪汪汪呢
You always loved those sports days.
You used to get quite misty-eyed about them
不过那景象确实动人
那些穿着板球衫的男孩子
But then, it was rather moving.
All those boys in their cricket whites
统治阶级就在人眼前现场形成
The ruling class being formed before one’s very eyes
毕竟权力感不是与生俱来的东西
不是，得灌输给男孩子
Because a sense of entitlement isn’t something
one’s born with. No. It must be instilled in a chap
我恐怕我现在没这个心情
I’m not sure I’m necessarily in the mood for this
让我想想看……应该是68年，对吗？
在龙校的最后一年？
Now, let’s think… It would have been ’68.
Is that right? Last year at the Dragon?
真好啊 我们充满爱意的夏日
Oh, that’s rather good. Our summer of love
别这幅表情
这周当我看到这一切展开时一直在想
Don’t do that face. I kept thinking that
this week, you know. As I watched it all unfold
– 我们回顾过去回顾得不够
– 看到什么展开？
– That we don’t look back enough
– Watched what unfold?
找到了！我就知道拍了的
“1968年，龙校运动日”
There it is! I knew we had one.
‘1968. Dragon Sports Day’
你看，同一盘录像带上还录了你在瓦灵福德的竞选演说
至少这个是你喜欢看的
Look at that, it’s on the same reel as that hustings
you did in Wallingford. So you’ll enjoy that at least
听着，我来找投影仪，你去拉上窗帘
Now listen, I’ll find the projector,
you close the curtains
你这是干什么，戴安娜？
What are you doing, Diana?
还记得那些竞选演说吗？
还有之后的茶会，那才是最烦的
Do you remember those hustings?
And the tea afterwards. That was the worst bit
你和男人们一起走了
而我得和那帮太太坐在一起
You’d go off with the men
and I’d have to sit with the wives…
头上顶着精致小帽，给她们讲你有多好
…and tell them how marvellous you were.
In my little hat
你知道这帮可恶的女人想要听的是什么吗？
是你连鸡蛋都不会煮
You know what they wanted to hear? Those awful
women? That you didn’t know how to boil an egg
– 你是感觉被囚禁了整整一周对吧？
– 什么？
– You’ve been cooped up all week, have you?
– Sorry?
缺少刺♥激♥？现在你可是大显身手啊
Not enough excitements?
Because this is quite a performance
其实我这一周忙得很
Actually I’ve had a rather busy week
– 忙？
– 忙这忙那
– Busy?
– One way and another
我的天，你别是又把沙发垫子挪了一番吧？
Good lord, you haven’t been moving the cushions
round on the sofa again have you?
找出来了
Here it is
– 你不会真要放吧
– 行啦
– You’re not really doing this
– Oh, go on
那时候我还在爱慕期，是吧？1968年
And I was still in my adoring phase then, wasn’t I?
在乡村会堂里为你频频点头，恰如其分地鼓掌
Nodding up at you in all those village halls,
clapping in all the right places
– 还有过爱慕期？
– 一开始我表现相当不错的
– There was an adoring phase, was there?
– I was very good in the beginning
精心挑选的头巾，两件套头毛衫
一点不经意的种族歧视
All those headscarves I wore.
The twin-sets. The casual racism
最佳辅助贤妻
Best supporting wife
不过我想你并没有真的投票给我啊
Although you didn’t actually vote for me, I don’t think
– 我当然投了
– 得了，我们私下不妨直言
– Of course I did
– No, go on. You can tell me in the privacy of the booth
有很多年我一直投票给你，罗宾
I kept on voting for you for years, Robin
但这也不能全怪我
你们这些人看起来还真像知道自己在干什么似的
But then in my defence,
you do all look like you know what you’re doing
– 你说什么？
– 阶级制度的问题就在于
– Sorry?
– That’s the trouble with the class system
人们太容易把重金堆砌的教育