斗气老顽童（1993）

祝贺你当选。
Congratulations on the election.
那是老新闻了。你去哪了？
That’s old news. Where’ve you been?
我有很多东西要处理。
I had all this stuff that I had to get taken care of.
梅勒妮说她今晚会来。
Melanie said she’s going to come by tonight.
平安夜。9点左右。
For Christmas Eve. Around 9:00.
你为什么不顺道过来？
Why don’t you drop over?
我会的。
I’ll do that.
附近没有摩托雪橇会安全很多。
This neighborhood will be a lot safer without that snowmobile around.
-嗨，雅各布你好，笨蛋。
– Hi, Jacob. – Hello, putz.
圣诞快乐，约翰。
Merry Christmas, John.
你的猫又在我的台阶上拉屎了。
Your cat crapped on my steps again.
谁说你不能训练猫？
Who says you can’t train a cat?
这是个警告。如果再发生这种事，我就揍你的鼻子。
It’s a warning. If it happens again I’ll punch you in the nose.
是他开始的。
He started it.
圣诞老人最喜欢的小女孩呢？
Where’s Santa’s favorite little girl?
圣诞快乐，爸爸。
Merry Christmas, Dad.
什么，没有闪烁的灯光？
What, no twinkle lights?
今年我把它们忘了。
I forgot about them this year.
要有礼貌。
Be polite.
圣诞快乐。
Merry Christmas.
我能把艾莉放在你床上吗？
Can I put Allie in your bed?
当然
Sure.
快点，睡觉时间到了。向爷爷道晚安。
Come on, bedtime. Say good night to grandpa.
你最近怎么样？
How’ve you been?
糟糕的。我以为你们俩要离婚了。
Lousy. Thought you two were getting a divorce.
实际上，这只是一种分离。
Actually, it’s only a separation.
在我们开始工作之前，我得自己解决一些问题。
I had to work some things out for myself before we could work on us.
你解决了吗？
Did you get it worked out?
据我所知。
As far as I can tell.
太好了，迈克。
That’s great, Mike.
也许我们其他人应该把我们的生活搁置到下一个。。。
Maybe the rest of us should put our lives on hold for the next…
…两个星期，当你灌满足够的酒来做决定的时候。
…two weeks while you fill up with enough booze to make up your mind.
你知道的。。。
You know…
…我需要一杯啤酒。
…I need a beer.
喝杯啤酒。在冰箱里。
Grab a beer. It’s in the fridge.
-怎么了？-我不知道。
– What’s wrong? – I don’t know.
也给我拿一个！
Grab me one too!
爸爸，试着理解。。。
Dad, try and understand…
…他说他已经恢复正常了。
…he says he’s all straightened out.
我知道什么？我已经68岁了！我没有房♥子，没有妻子，没有养老金！
What do I know? I’m 68 years old! I got no house, no wife, no pension!
你在说什么？
What are you saying?
我什么都不知道，但我知道：
I don’t know one damn thing, but I know this:
这辈子唯一让你后悔的是你没有冒的风险。
The only thing in this life that you regret are the risks you didn’t take.
如果你看到一个快乐的机会。。。
If you see a chance to be happy…
……双手抓住它，后果自负。
…grab it with both hands and to hell with the consequences.
我找不到开瓶器。
I can’t find a bottle opener.
亲爱的，我要去滑溜店。
Sweetheart, I’m going to walk down to Slippery’s.
什么？
What?
嘿，杰克。圣诞快乐。
Hey, Jakey. Merry Christmas.
圣诞快乐。
Merry Christmas.
现在不是时候吗？
Is this a bad time?
我很抱歉。我不知道他怎么了。他刚刚爆♥炸♥了。
I’m sorry. I don’t know what’s wrong with him. He just exploded.
你想让我去追他？
You want me to go after him?
他会在滑溜店冷静下来的。进来吧。
He’ll cool off down at Slippery’s. Come on in.
那是什么？
What’s that?
这是花椰菜。
This is broccoli.
爸爸没有槲寄生。
Pop didn’t have mistletoe.
嘿，迈克。你是下一个大块头。
Hey, Mike. You’re next big guy.
嗨，臭小子。
Hi, stinky.
我只是过来祝你们圣诞快乐。
I just came by to wish you all a Merry Christmas.
太好了，雅各布。不是很甜蜜吗，迈克？
That was sweet, Jacob. Wasn’t that sweet, Mike?
太好了。。。而且很短。
Sweet… and short.
很高兴见到你，迈克！
Good to see you, Mike!
我能请你帮个忙吗？
Could I ask you a favor?
当然
Sure.
你能和你♥爸♥爸说句话吗？
Could you have a word with your dad?
看看他们能否弥补圣诞节的损失。
See if they can’t make up for Christmas.
当然绝对地
Sure. Absolutely.
那太好了。
That would be great.
圣诞快乐。
Merry Christmas.
圣诞快乐。
Merry Christmas.
去古斯塔夫森家？
Over to Gustafson’s?
梅勒妮在吗？
Melanie there?
她看起来不错？
She look good?
非常她看起来还没结婚。
Very. She also looks to still be married.
什么？
What?
迈克回来了？！
Mike’s back?!
看起来是这样的。
Looks that way.
梅勒妮说约翰。。。
Melanie said that John…
……爆♥炸♥了，然后就走了。
…just exploded and walked out.
所以
So?
怎么回事？
So what’s going on?
没有什么几年前不该发生的事。
Nothing that shouldn’t have happened years ago.
他想把她从我身边偷走，但我赢了。
He tried to steal her away from me, but I won.
你能至少和他谈谈吗？
Could you at least talk to him?
我的门开着。他知道去哪儿找我。
My door is open. He knows where to find me.
是他开始的。
He started it.
我不管是谁开始的，你会结束的。
I don’t care who started it, you’re going to end it.
我不喜欢他！我从不喜欢他！
I don’t like him! I never liked him!
今天是圣诞节，爸爸。
It’s Christmas, Pop.
你可以去滑溜店和那个人讲和。
You could go down to Slippery’s and make peace with the man.
我宁愿吻死驼鹿的屁♥股♥。
I’d rather kiss a dead moose’s butt.
这只1500磅重的驼鹿是真的，伙计们。
This 1500-pound moose is the real thing, folks.
由当地志愿消防队员彼得·卡尔森抚养长大。
Reared by local volunteer firefighter, Peter Carlson, of Wabasha.
他在打猎时发现它受伤了，把它带回家。。。
He found it injured while hunting, brought it home…
…在他家里养大的。
…and raised it in his home.
圣诞快乐。
Merry Christmas.
白♥痴♥
Moron.
普茨。
Putz.
雅各布说迈克和梅兰妮要复合了。
Jacob says Mike and Melanie are getting back together.
他从地上的一个洞里看不清自己的屁♥股♥。他们要离婚了。
He doesn’t know his ass from a hole in the ground. They’re divorcing.
我有些事想告诉你。
I got some things I wanted to tell you.
我今晚来这里的原因是。。。
The reason I came down here tonight is…
我想告诉你。。。
I wanted to tell…
匆忙我整晚都没空。
Hurry! I haven’t got all night.
-别大喊大叫我不是。
– Don’t shout! – I’m not.
鼓起我的斗篷到这里来谢谢你，你所做的就是对我大喊大叫。
Bust my tuchus to come here and thank you and all you do is shout at me.
感谢我？
To thank me?
好吧，我收回。我不感谢你。
All right, I take it back. I don’t thank you.
天哪，这不可能！
Jesus, it’s impossible!
听着，戈德曼。。。
Look, Goldman…
我想问你一件事。
I want to ask you something.
嗯，什么？我也没有整晚的时间。我和你一样忙。
Well, what? I ain’t got all night either. I’m just as busy as you are.
你爱她吗？
Do you love her?
我爱她吗？这跟什么有关系？
Do I love her? What does that have to do with anything?
这会让整件事变得有价值。
It would make the whole thing worthwhile.
你知道吗，我想你已经失去了你曾经拥有的一切。
You know something, I think you’ve lost whatever marbles you ever had.
你以为你是替我走的吗？
Do you think you walked on coals for me?
把钓竿还给我，我说，‘谢谢。’
Gave me back my fishing pole and I said, ‘Thank you.”
钓鱼竿？
Fishing pole?
你把它弄坏了我很生气，但是，你这个笨蛋。。。
Pisses me off you broke it but, schmuck that you are…
…我得现实点。
…I got to be realistic.
-有什么好笑的你认为这是关于那个杆子的？
– What’s so funny? – You think this is about that pole?
-是关于什么的？-算了吧。
– What’s it about? – Forget it.
什么叫忘了它？
What do you mean forget it?
我想知道。
I want to know.
你真的想知道吗？
You really want to know?
她呢？
What about her?
你让我为你感到难过。
You made me feel sorry for you.
她选择了我！
She chose me!