斗气老顽童（1993）

啊，那个小女孩是亚历山德拉，我的孙女。
Ah, that little girl is Alexandra, my granddaughter.
还有我儿子布莱恩。
And my son, Brian.
他真帅。
He’s so handsome.
在越南失去了他。
Lost him in Vietnam.
-我很抱歉。-没事的。没事的。
– I’m so sorry. – It’s all right. It’s okay.
这些小家伙。
These little guys.
那是我和那个白♥痴♥。
That’s me and the moron.
当然是麦克斯。他很丑，不是吗？
Of course it’s Max. He’s ugly isn’t he?
你是说你是朋友？
You mean you were friends?
我当时10岁，也不知道有什么更好的。
I was 10, and didn’t know any better.
是什么让两个人一生大部分时间都在战斗？
What makes two men spend most of their lives fighting?
猜测
Guess.
一个女人。
A woman.
多浪漫啊。
How romantic.
不，一点也不浪漫。
No, it wasn’t romantic at all.
好。。。
Well…
我知道什么？我只是个孩子。
What did I know? I was just a kid.
我已经不是了。
Which I am not anymore.
我觉得有点晚了。
I think it’s kind of late.
该睡觉了。
It’s time for bed.
天啊，你真傻，傻，傻。
God, you are dumb, dumb, dumb.
艾丽儿，我很抱歉。。。
Ariel, I’m sorry that…
我以为你说。。。
I thought you said…
我说该睡觉了。
I said it’s time for bed.
等等，那。。。
Well, wait, what about…
-什么？-嗯，你一直在看。。。
– What? – Well, you’ve been seeing…
麦克斯？
Max?
他只是我的朋友。
He’s just my friend.
最后一个和我上♥床♥的男人是我丈夫。
The last man I slept with was my husband.
等一下！
Wait a minute!
等一下！
Wait a minute!
我还没准备好。
I’m not prepared.
这些天他们说你必须做安全的性行为。
These days they say you have to do safe sex.
你最后一次做♥爱♥是什么时候？
When was the last time you made love?
十月。。。第四。。。
October… fourth…
…1978.
…1978.
哦，我想我们安全了。
Oh, I think we’re safe.
早上好
Good morning.
这些是给我的吗？
Are those for me?
哦，它们真漂亮。非常感谢。
Oh, they’re just beautiful. Thank you.
它们是给你的。我给你买♥♥的。
They’re for you. I got them for you.
非常感谢。多甜蜜啊！
Thank you. How sweet!
那是。。。
That’s…
给你买♥♥的。
Got them for you.
草丛中的蛇！
Snake in the grass!
燃烧，宝贝，燃烧。
Burn, baby, burn.
天啊！麦克斯！
Holy shit! Max!
停车，你个白♥痴♥！
Stop the car, you idiot!
留神
Look out!
留神
Look out!
麦克斯，你真的输了！
Max, you’ve really lost it!
肮脏的小杂种！
Dirty little bastard!
他应该待在一间橡皮房♥里。
He belongs in a rubber room.
我修好了你的鱼竿！
I fixed your fishing pole!
谁在乎那该死的鱼竿？
Who cares about a damn fishing pole?
你可以推那根杆子！
You can shove that pole!
你认为一个糟糕的老波兰人会取代她？
You think a lousy old pole is going to replace her?
你疯了吗？
Are you crazy?
别骗他！
Don’t egg him on!
别管他。
Leave him alone.
我们会解决这件事的。
We’ll settle this thing.
住手！
Cut it out!
小虾，你哪儿也不能去！
Shrimp, you’re not going anywhere!
来吧
Come on!
你打断了我的鼻子，笨蛋。
You broke my nose, schmuck.
我没有。
I did not.
看那个！你到底怎么了？
Look at that! What the hell has gotten into you?
你偷了她！
You stole her!
什么？
What?
她是我的。
She’s mine.
-谁说的？-我说。
– Says who? – Says me.
她来找我！
She came to me!
你把她偷走了，就像你对梅做的那样。
You’re stealing her away, just like you did to May.
我可以提醒你吗，爱因斯坦，梅不是奖品。
Could I remind you, Einstein, May was no prize.
她对我很重要。
She was to me.
我和那个女人结婚20年了。她不是奖品！
I was married to the woman 20 years. She was no prize!
她对我很重要！
She was to me!
所以你才是个白♥痴♥！
That’s why you are a moron!
如果你和梅在一起，你就不会有艾米，她是个好女人。
If you’d ended up with May, you wouldn’t have had Amy, who was a good woman.
-她是最棒的。-比梅更忠诚！
– She was the best. – And more loyal than May ever was!
所以
So!
那又怎么样？
So what?
嗯，是吗？
Well, did you?
你知道的！
You know!
那是私事。
That’s a private matter.
二等兵，我的脚。是吗？
Private, my foot. Did you?
-我不能说。-告诉我。
– I can’t say. – Tell me.
好的，我们做了水平曼波！我们跳舞了。
Okay, we did the horizontal mambo! We danced it.
这是我一生中最棒的性♥爱♥。你高兴吗？
It was the greatest sex I ever had in my life. Are you happy?
我要杀了你！
I’ll kill you!
肮脏的老鼠！
Dirty rat!
放下那条鱼！
Drop that fish!
别让我再把你们分开！
Don’t make me have to separate you two again!
现在去你们的棚屋，所有人！
Now go to your shanties, all of you!
你把鱼吓跑了！
You’re scaring the fish away!
该死的孩子们！
Damn kids!
孩子们！你不能和他们生活在一起，不能向他们开枪。现在继续！
Kids! You can’t live with them, can’t shoot them. Now go on!
你打算怎么照顾她，古斯塔夫森？
How you going to take care of her, Gustafson?
你打算怎么支持她。。。
How are you going to support her…
…当国税局夺走你的房♥子？
…when the I.R.S. takes your house away?
我不能再等艾米了。我没时间了。
I can’t wait around for another Amy. I ain’t got time.
这次你赢了。
This time you win.
如果你不遵守我们的约会，我就把日期给你。
If you won’t keep our date, I’ll bring the date to you.
你答应过来给我讲新政。。。
You promised to come over and give me the New Deal lecture…
-就像一个好学生…-那是什么？
– So like a good student… – What’s that?
一份礼物。
A gift.
雪天使。
A snow angel.
是你启发的。
You inspired it.
我不能接受。
I can’t accept it.
为什么不呢？
Why not?
如果我们不见面也许是个好主意。
It might be a good idea if we didn’t see each other.
一段时间。给我们每个人一个独处的机会。。。
For a while. And, well, give each of us a chance to be alone and…
但我想。。。
But I thought…
该死的。首先，我对你来说太老了。可以
Goddamn it. In the first place, I’m too old for you. Okay?
我不喜欢。。。
I don’t like…
…你过来。
…you coming over here.
我不喜欢你整天呆在这里！
I don’t like you hanging around here all day long!
我不怕像你一样孤独。
I’m not afraid to be alone like you.
我不怕孤独！我只是更喜欢。。。
I am not afraid to be alone! I just prefer…
…去体验。。。
…to experience things…
…而不是像你那样在电视上或窗外看他们。
…and not watch them on television or out the windows like you do.
你不明白吗？我喜欢独处！
Don’t you understand? I like being alone!
我理解。
I understand.
我完全理解。
I understand completely.
你对我一无所知。
You know nothing about me.
我也是！
I do too!
我知道生命中唯一让你后悔的是你没有冒的风险。
I know the only things in life that you regret are the risks you don’t take.
但你不会明白的。
But you wouldn’t understand that.
因为你太蠢了。
Because you’re too pig-headed.
圣诞快乐。
Merry Christmas.