土拨鼠之日

要看照后镜
You gotta check your mirrors, just the side of your eye.
对
That’s it.
他们在追我们! 开快点!
They’re chasing us! Come on, make it fun!
开车别激动
Don’t drive angry.
这里没别的出路 逮到他了!
Hot dog! There’s no way out except the way we came in. We got him now!
-他在干嘛? -不知道
-What is he doing? -I don’t know.
要开枪的话 瞄高一点 别打到土拨鼠
If you gotta shoot, aim high. I don’t wanna hit the groundhog.
不能让观众等太久
We mustn’t keep our public waiting.
好戏上场了
It’s show time.
好 赖瑞 倒数三秒…
All right, on me, Larry, in three!
二 一
Two, one.
他说不定没事
He might be okay.
这下大概出事了
Probably not now.
混♥蛋♥
Nuts.
睡得好吗 康纳先生?
Did you sleep well, Mr. Connors?
想吃土司吗?
Would you like some toast?
-怎么回事? -天啊
-What’s going on? -My God.
是他
That’s him.
他真的是个好人
He was a really great guy.
我真的很喜欢他
I really liked him a lot.
什么 你说什么?
I’m sorry. What was that again?
什么 你说什么?
I’m sorry. What was that again?
-我是神! -你是神?
-I’m a god! -You’re a god?
我是神 不过应该不是上帝
I’m a god. I’m not the God, I don’t think.
只因为你车祸没死?
Because you survived a car wreck?
要点餐了吗?
You ready to order?
我不光是车祸没死 或只是昨天被炸死
I didn’t just survive a wreck. I wasn’t just blown up yesterday.
我被刺杀 枪杀 毒害…
I have been stabbed, shot, poisoned…
冻死 吊死 电击
frozen, hung, electrocuted…
-还被火烧 -真的?
-and burned. -Really?
每天早上醒来却毫发无伤
Every morning I wake up fine, not a dent in the fender.
-我不会死 -今日特餐是蓝莓松饼
-I am an immortal. -Special today is blueberry waffles.
你说这些干嘛?
Why are you telling me this?
因为我要你相信我
Because I want you to believe in me.
你不是神 相信我 我上过12年天主教学校
You’re not a god. You can take my word for. This is 12 years of Catholic school talking.
我可以等一下再来帮你点
I could come back if you’re not ready.
你怎么知道我不是神?
How do you know I’m not a god?
拜讬!
Please!
-你怎么知道? -因为不可能!
-How do you know? -Because it’s not possible!
-我等一下再来 -桃莉
-I’ll come back. -Doris!
这是桃莉 她姐夫卡尔是老板
This is Doris. Her brother-in-law, Carl, owns this diner.
她从17岁就在这里上班 她希望死前能到巴黎一游
She’s worked here since she was 17. She wants to see Paris before she dies.
-天啊 我好想去 -你在干嘛?
-Boy, would I! -What are you doing?
-黛比和她的未婚夫佛瑞 -我认识你们吗?
-Debbie Kleiser and her fiance, Fred. -Do I know you?
他们本来今天下午要结婚 但是黛比要重新考虑
They’re supposed to be married this afternoon, but Debbie is reconsidering.
-什么? -好美的戒指
-What? -Lovely ring.
这是比尔 他当服务生三年了
This is Bill who’s been a waiter for three years…
因为他大学不念了 需要工作
since he left Penn State and had to get work.
他喜欢这里 会画玩具兵 还是同性恋
He likes the town, paints toy soldiers, and he’s gay.
没错
I am.
这是贾斯 他讨厌这里的生活 希望能留在海军服役
This is Gus. He hates his life here and wishes he’d stayed in the Navy.
20年后我退伍还能领半薪
I could have retired on half pay after 20 years.
这是什么诡计吗?
Is this some kind of trick?
也许上帝会耍诡计 也许他不是万能的
Maybe the real God uses tricks. Maybe He’s not omnipotent.
他只是在我们身边很久了 所以什么都知道
He’s just been around so long, He knows everything.
-那是谁? -这是汤姆
-Who’s that? -This is Tom.
他是矿工 一直做到矿坑关闭
He worked in the coal mine till they closed it down.
-她呢? -爱莉丝
-Her? -Alice.
婴儿时从爱尔兰过来 一辈子都住在艾里
She came from Ireland as a baby and lived in Erie most of her life.
-他说的对 -南茜
-He’s right. -Nancy.
她在服装店上班 兴奋时会发出花栗鼠的声音
She works in the dress shop and makes chipmunk noises when she gets excited.
-是真的 -你怎么会认识这些人?
-It’s true. -How do you know these people?
我什么都知道 5秒钟后 有个服务生会打破盘子
I know everything. In five seconds, a waiter will drop a tray of dishes.
-五 四 三 二 一 -太疯狂了
-Five, four, three, two, one. -This is nuts.
够了
That’s enough.
-你也了解我吗? -我了解你的一切
-Do you know me too? -I know all about you.
你喜欢制♥作♥节目 却不希望光待在第9频道
You like producing, but you’re hoping for more than Channel 9 Pittsburgh.
这大家都知道
Everyone knows that.
你喜欢船 却不喜欢海
You like boats, but not the ocean.
夏天你会跟家人到山上的一座湖
You go to a mountain lake in the summer with your family.
那里有长长的木船渠 还有一间船库…
There’s a long, wooden dock and a boathouse…
屋顶的木板都不见了…
with boards missing from the roof…
还有一个你会爬下去独处的地方
and a place you used to crawl underneath to be alone.
你喜欢法文诗和莱因石
You’re a sucker for French poetry and rhinestones.
你很大方
You’re very generous.
你对陌生人和小孩都很和善
You’re kind to strangers and children.
当你站在雪地里 你看起来就像个天使
And when you stand in the snow, you look like an angel.
你怎么办到的?
How are you doing this?
我说了我每天在普苏塔尼醒来…
I wake up every day right here…
每天都是2月2日
in Punxsutawney, and it’s always February 2.
我没办法改变这情况
There’s nothing I can do about it.
如果你还怀疑的话…
If you still doubt me…
10秒钟之后…
in ten seconds…
赖瑞会进来带你走…
Larry will come through that door and take you away from me…
但你不能让他带你走
but you can’t let him.
请相信我 一定要相信我
Please believe me. You’ve got to believe me.
好了没? 趁天气变坏前赶快走
You ready? We better get going if we’re going to stay ahead of the weather.
那是什么?
What’s that?
趁天气变坏前赶快走
We better get going if we’re going to stay ahead of the weather.
也许真的发生了
Maybe it really is happening.
不然你怎么知道那么多?
How else could you know so much?
不可能 我没那么聪明
There is no way. I’m not that smart.
也许今天我该跟你在一起…
Maybe I should spend the day with you…
当客观目击者 看发生什么事
as an objective witness, just to see what happens.
听起来好像科学实验
This sounds like a science project.
专心一点 丢进去
Concentrate. You gotta want it.
重点在手腕 不在手指…
It’s more in the wrist than the finger. It’s just gotta…
丢进帽子里 丢!
Be the hat! Come on! Go!
我要花一年才能学会
It would take me a year to get good at this.
6个月 每天4到5小时 你就能变成专家
Six months. Four to five hours a day, and you’d be an expert.
你这样打发永恒的时间吗?
Is this what you do with eternity?
现在你知道了
Now you know.
这还不是最糟的
That’s not the worst part.
最糟的是什么?
What’s the worst part?
最糟的是明天你会忘掉这一切…
The worst part is that tomorrow you will have forgotten all about this…
又会把我当混♥蛋♥
and you’ll treat me like a jerk again.
-没关系 我是混♥蛋♥ -你不是
-It’s all right. I am a jerk. -You’re not.
没什么差别
It doesn’t make any difference.
我已经自杀很多次了 我早就不存在了
I’ve killed myself so many times, I don’t even exist anymore.
有时我倒希望我有上千辈子
Sometimes I wish I had a thousand lifetimes.
我不知道 菲尔 或许这不是诅咒
I don’t know, Phil. Maybe it’s not a curse.
端看你如何看待它
It just depends on how you look at it.
天啊 你真是个乐观的女人!
Gosh, you’re an upbeat lady!
-我觉得今天很愉快 -我也是
-It’s been a really nice day for me. -Me too.
如果不算太无聊的话 改天我们可以再来一次
Maybe, if it’s not too boring, we could do it again sometime.
希望如此
I hope so.
你还在
You’re still here.
我以为你会消失或我会消失!
I thought you were supposed to disappear or I was or something!
要等到6点
Not until 6:00.
你这小人!
You rat!
我没说过在午夜
I never said midnight.
-你知道我在等午夜! -你要走了吗?
-You knew I was waiting for midnight! -Does this mean you’re gonna leave?
没有啊
好
Good.
对不起
I’m sorry.
没关系 你可以睡
It’s all right. You can fall asleep.
我保证不碰你… 太多
I promise I won’t touch you, much.
没关系 我不累
That’s all right. I’m not tired.
你刚刚说什么?
What were you saying?
你听到最后一句话是…
I think the last thing that you heard was…
“只有上帝能造树”