心灵捕手

抱歉 我要去找一个女孩
I said “Sorry guys. I gotta see about a girl.”
-我要去找一个女孩? -对!
-“I gotta go see about a girl”? -Yes!
你那么说?
That’s what you said?
他们就放过你了?
They let you get away with that?
对 他们看到我认真的眼睛
Oh yeah. They saw it in my eyes that I meant it.
你耍我吧
You’re kiddin’ me?
我没耍你
No I’m not kidding you Will.
所以我现在不会因为…
That’s why I’m not talkin’ right now about some girl I saw at a bar 20 years ago…
当年没和她说话而懊悔终生
and how I always regretted not goin’ over and talkin’ to her.
我不后悔跟南茜结褵的18年
I don’t regret the 18 years I was married to Nancy.
不后悔为她的病放弃辅♥导♥
I don’t regret the six years I had to give up counseling when she got sick.
不后悔那最后几年守着重病的她
And I don’t regret the last years when she got really sick.
更不会后悔错过球赛
And I sure as hell don’t regret missin’ a damn game.
只是有点遗憾
That’s regret.
看到那场球赛还是不错的
Would have been nice to catch that game though.
我不晓得矮冬瓜会红不让
I didn’t know Pudge was gonna hit a home run.
我在球场上很有用 我很高
You know I’m very very useful on the court. I’m extremely tall.
你没那么高
You’re not that tall.
我会灌篮
I dunk.
我能打NBA吗?
Will I ever play in the N.B.A.?
绝对可以
“It is decidedly so.” Hmph.
为什么老是待在这边?
Why do we always stay here?
因为比我家好
‘Cause it’s nicer than my place.
但我从没去过你家
Yes but I’ve never seen your place.
我知道
I know.
我什么时候能见到你朋友和哥哥?
When am I gonna meet your friends and your brothers?
他们不常来这里
Well they don’t really come down here that much.
我可以到南波士顿
I think I can make it to South Boston.
有点远
It’s kind of a hike.
是我还是他们见不得人?
Is it me you’re hiding from them or the other way around?
好 我们去
All right we’ll go.
几时?
When?
不知道 下礼拜吧
I don’t know. We’ll go sometime next week.
如不让我见他们就再也不跟你上♥床♥
What if I said I would not sleep with you again until you let me meet your friends?
清晨四点半 他们应该醒了
I’d say it’s like 4:30 in the mornin’. They’re probably up.
天哪 男人真无♥耻♥
Oh my God. Men are shameless.
你们男人就只会用小♥弟♥弟♥思考
If you’re not thinking with your wiener then you’re acting directly on its behalf.
仅代表我的小♥弟♥弟♥向你预支
You bet. And on behalf of my wiener can I get an advance payment?
不知道 我问问
I don’t know. Let’s ask.
前途无量
“Outlook does not look good.”
-什么? -干
-What? -Fuck the…
查克 没事 继续睡
Hey Chuck. No. Nothing. Go back to sleep.
你去打NBA才前途无量
“Outlook”? That’s the same thing that told you you was gonna play in the N.B.A.
没错 所以你最好开始买♥♥季票
Exactly so look out. You’d better start buying some season tickets.
我很高 我喜欢穿短裤
Mmm! I plan to. I’m tall. I like wearing shorts.
勾射 灌篮
Hook hook. Dunk dunk.
你没那么高
You’re not that tall.
我有 我三分射篮很行
Yes I am. Maybe I’m all about three points.
我就很会打”全垒打”
I’m all about home runs.
别用运动术语影射
Stop mixing your sporting metaphors.
妖精的老二在猴子屁♥眼♥里
A leprechaun’s got his dick in the monkey’s ass.
摩根跑出来说 我不介意 我不介意
Morgan comes runnin’ in goin’ “l don’t mind it. I don’t mind…”
干 你竟挑我们烂醉时带她来
Well I can’t believe you brought Skylar here when we’re fuckin’ all bombed and drinkin’.
我们很难得一起喝酒
I know Morgan. It’s a real rarity we’d be all drinkin’.
我叔叔马帝只要一喝酒 就会狂欢个一年半载
My uncle Marty drinks. He’ll go on a bender for six eight months.
我讲过他被拦下来的事没?
Did I ever tell ya what happened to him when he was drivin’ up there and got pulled over?
我跟你们讲
I told you guys right? Let me tell ya what happened to my uncle Marty.
你们应该知道
Because you oughta know this.
到这边老是听他讲故事
He’s always tellin’ stories. Every time we come here he’s got another story.
这个我们早就听过了
But we all heard this one.
还是说吧 快讲
Go ahead. Say it anyway.
我会讲 多谢 换我发言
I will go ahead. Thanks a lot. Guess I have the floor now.
我叔叔开车回家
My uncle Marty’s drivin’ home right?
撞到树上
Bombed out of his tree right?
他醉得一塌糊涂
Just hammered out of his gourd. Just wrecked.
州警把他拦下来 我叔叔惨了
This state trooper sees him pulls him over. So my uncle’s fucked basically.
州警要他下车走直线
Got him out of the car tryin’ to make him walk the line.
结果他吐在州警身上…
He gets out of the car pukes…
州警确信他超过酒精浓度
and the statie’s pretty sure he’s over the legal limit.
正要把他戴上手铐送去坐牢
So he’s about to throw the cuffs on him and put him in jail.
突然五十码外一声他妈的巨响
All of a sudden 50 yards down the road there’s this huge fuckin’ boom.
州警吓一大跳 转身
Statie gets real spooked. He turns around.
枪声?
He got shot?
不 是…
No. So…So…
你听过这故事了
You heard this story before.
得了 摩根
Yeah Morgan stop. Stop.
是别人的车撞到树 出事了
Some other guy’s car had hit a tree. There was an accident.
总之…
Anyway…
闭嘴!
Shut the fuck up!
我要扭断你脖子
I’m gonna break your neck.
闭嘴
Shut up!
他跟你说过这故事了
He told you the story once before.
州警跟我叔叔说”别走”
So he tells my uncle “Stay here. Don’t move.”
就跑去处理另一起事故
Statie goes runnin’ down the road to deal with the other accident.
躺在尿和呕吐物中几分钟后…
After a few minutes of just lyin’ in his own piss and vomit…
我叔叔才想到 他在那儿干嘛
my uncle starts wonderin’ what he’s doin’ there.
于是站起来开车回家
Gets up gets in his car and just drives home.
隔天早上我叔叔还昏迷不醒
The next mornin’ my uncle’s just passed out.
他听到敲门声
He hears this knockin’ at the door.
下楼拉开门说”什么事”
So he goes downstairs pulls the door open “What?”
是拦下他的州警
It’s the state trooper that pulled him over.
州警说”我♥操♥ 什么事? 你明知故问”
Statie says “Fuck you mean ‘What?’ You know what.”
“我昨晚拦下你 你逃走了”
“I pulled you over last night is what and you took off.”
叔叔说”我这辈子没见过你”
He’s like “l never seen you before in my life.
“我整晚在家 你乱讲什么”
I’ve been home all night with my kids. I don’t know who the fuck you are.”
州警说”别装蒜了 到车♥库♥”
He’s like “You know who I am. Let me get in your garage.”
我叔叔说”什么?”
My uncle’s like “What?” He said
州警说”带我去你的车♥库♥”
“You heard me. Let me get in your garage.”
我叔叔带他到车♥库♥打开门
He was like “All right. Fine.” Takes him out to the garage opens the door.
警车就在我叔叔的车♥库♥里
And there’s…The statie’s police cruiser is in my uncle’s garage.
他醉到他妈的开错车回家了
He was so fuckin’…He was so fuckin’ hammered he drove the wrong car home.
最屌♥的是州警好糗…
The best part about it is the fuckin’ state trooper…
他整晚什么都没做
was so embarrassed he didn’t do anything.
开着我叔叔的车挨家挨户找人
He’d been drivin’ around all night in my uncle’s Chevelle lookin’ for the house.
你的故事重点是什么?
All right Chuck what the fuck is the point of your story?
他逃跑了就是重点
He got away. That’s the point.
-好 问题是… -你是不是…
-Well question… -Come on.
少来了
Stop.
-你想弄清楚又不好意思问 -好了 你别糗人家了
-I’m tryin’ to clarify somethin’. -You’re embarrassing him.
-因为你讲的故事没什么意义 -没什么意义
-It doesn’t make any sense. -It does make sense.
听故事别问东问西的
if you listen to the story and quit askin’ questions.
摩根 看这个故事你懂不懂
Well let’s see if you can get this one. I’ve got a little story for you.
好 一对老夫妻在床上
All right there’s an old couple in bed.
玛丽和派帝
Mary and Paddie.
结婚50周年那天他们醒来
They wake up on the morning of their 50th anniversary.
玛丽深情地望着派帝说
Mary looks over and gazes adoringly at Paddie.
天哪 你真是一个大帅哥 我爱你
She’s like “Oh Jesus Paddie. You’re such a good-looking feller. I love ya.
我要送你一件礼物
I want to give ya a little present.
你渴望什么我都给你
Anything your little heart desires I’m goin’ to give it to ya.
你想要什么?
What would ya like?
派帝说这真是甜蜜的提议
Paddie’s like “Oh gee Mary. That’s a very sweet offer.
五十年来就少一样东西
Now in 50 years there’s one thing that’s been missing.
我希望你帮我吹♥喇♥叭♥ 我想要
and uh I would like you to give me a blow job. I would like for it.”
玛丽说好
Mary’s like “All right.”
她把假牙拿掉…
She takes her teeth out…
放进杯子里 然后帮他吹
puts ’em in the glass. She gives him a blow job.
之后派帝说 这就是我最渴望
Afterwards Paddie’s like “Yeah geez now that’s what I’ve been missin’.
最勾魂摄魄的事 他说
That was the most beautiful earth-shattering thing ever!
太棒了 玛丽 我爱你
Beautiful Mary! I love ya!
我能为你做什么吗?
Is there anything that I can do for you?”