上帝保佑美国（2011）

This is my brother-in-law’s car.
我带她参观一些大学
I’m taking her down to see some colleges.
加油 蓝色巨人[IBM公♥司♥的别称]
Go, Big Blue!
你有身份证吗
Do you have any I.D.?
有 先生
Yes, I do, sir.
明白 我马上赶到
All right, I’ll be right there.
不准再睡在路边了
No more sleeping on the side of the road.
你还要看我的身份证吗
Do you still need to see my I.D.?
不用了 亲爱的 注意安全就好
No, that’s fine, honey. You just stay safe.
这里疯子可不少
Lot of crazy people out there.
感谢相告
Tell me about it.
谢谢您 长官
Thank you, officer.
你刚才想干吗
What the hell is that about?
起码我不偷车
At least I don’t steal cars.
你为什么认为这车是偷来的
What makes you think it’s stolen?
没错 是我偷的
All right, I stole it.
但是从一个混♥蛋♥手里偷的
But from a jerk.
这是什么
What is this?
别喜欢上它了
Don’t get too attached.
你来试试
Now you go.
没关系 我比你大一些
All right, I’m a little bit bigger than you.
你不用太着急
You don’t got to dirty hurry it.
右手紧握这里
Wrap your other hand around here.
感觉稳一点了吗
Feel a little stability there?
很好 再射击一次试试
All right, now do it.
很不错
Pretty good.
瞄准时看向远处
Just concentrate on that far site.
你是在瞄准玩具熊吧
You’re aiming at the bear, right?
不要老想着后座力
Don’t anticipate the recoil.
扣动扳机 顺其自然就好
Just squeeze it and let it go.
这不就中了
That’s all bear there.
我觉得猫王会十分自豪的
I think Elvis would be proud.
-非常好 -谢谢
– Pretty good. – Thanks.
3点方向
Three o’clock.
6点方向
Six o’clock.
12点方向
Twelve o’clock.
9点方向
Nine o’clock.
6点方向
Six o’clock.
太棒了
Nice.
6点方向
Six.
-很好 -没错
– Good. – Yeah.
-偏头痛吗 -是的
– Migraine? – Yeah.
我们可以休息一会
Well, we could stop shooting.
好的 谢谢
Yeah, thanks.
你表现得不错
You did a good job.
那是因为有好老师
I have a good coach.
还因为我一直把靶子当成欢乐合唱团的主演
That and I was pretending the targets were the cast of “Glee.”
欢乐合唱团怎么了
What’s wrong with “Glee”?
里面的同性恋角色设定都是刻板偏见
It stereotypes and homogenizes homosexuals.
它还把洛基恐怖秀给毁了
Plus it ruined “Rocky Horror” forever.
洛基恐怖秀 深受小众追捧的邪典影片
这倒没错
That’s true.
你惦记着我的钱 我付你医保怎样
You want my money? I’ll pay for all your health care.
一茶叶党员在将某名帕金森患者推倒在地后
Tea party members continued to taunt
茶叶党 美国右♥派♥政党 起源于1773年反税运动
继续对其辱骂
the Parkinson’s sufferer after he was shoved to the ground.
帕金森症是上帝对社♥会♥主♥义♥者的惩罚
Parkinson’s is what God gives socialists.
上帝用帕金森症惩罚社♥会♥主♥义♥者
Parkinson’s is what God gives socialists.
我真失望
I am so depressed.
我是说 居然没我们的新闻 难以置信
I mean, I can’t believe there’s nothing on about us.
这就是你们这一代的一个毛病
That’s one of the problems of your generation.
任何事没有记录 你们就无法享受之
You can’t enjoy anything unless it was recorded.
你在当场 亲身经历了
You were there. You lived it.
不就足够了吗
Isn’t that enough of an experience?
我是说 下次你再想铭记什么事
I mean, next time you want to remember something
为什么不试试不拿出手♥机♥
instead of taking out your cell phone
而是把这一刻印在脑海里呢
why don’t you take a picture of it with your brain camera?
我是说 我像你这么大的时候
I mean, when I was your age
没人上推特 但是我们还是过的很乐呵
nobody tweeted, yet we managed to have experiences.
那时电♥话♥还是钉在墙上的玩意
You know, a phone was attached to a wall back at the house.
那时候的电♥话♥也没有相机功能
It didn’t have a camera.
你是谁 杰夫·福克斯沃茨吗
What are you, Jeff Foxworthy?
杰夫·福克斯沃茨 同名家庭喜剧片系列主角
你的手♥机♥就是你用来打给老爹
And a cell phone was the phone you called
让他帮你出狱的那部电♥话♥
your pappy on to get you out of jail.
一些人把谋杀案归咎于电影本身
Some people are blaming the movie itself for the murders.
是这部战争纪录片的镜头太过暴♥力♥吗
Is this violent documentary too violent?
-你相信吗 -我知道 我们上新闻了
– Do you believe that? – I know, we made the news.
不 看看他们都说了些什么
No, what they’re saying.
不再有任何人愿意为任何事情负责了
Nobody can take personal responsibility for anything anymore.
但是唯一的生还者并不如此认为
But that’s not what the lone survivor believes.
-还有什么意义 -大家都在说话
– What’s the point? – Everybody was talking,
惹事
goofing around
弄出噪音
making noise.
我相信他们这么做是因为我们都太过无礼
I believe they did this because we were all being so rude.
看看这个
How about that?
难以置信 这台也播实话
Unbelievable. The truth, and on this channel.
嫌疑犯包括一名将近60岁的白人男子
The suspects are a Caucasian male in his mid to late 50s
-将近60岁? -和一名
– Late 50s? – And a young
20出头的女子
woman in her early to mid 20s.
该女子也为白人
Also Caucasian.
警方认为他们持有武器 十分危险
They are considered armed and very dangerous.
看到了吧 他们都认为我比实际年龄大
See? They think I’mature for my age.
我们出名了
– Mm-hmm. – We’re famous!
来 击掌庆祝
Hey, high five.
拜托 别让我在这干举着手
Come on, don’t leave me hanging.
我从不击掌
No, I don’t high five.
那就在心里击掌庆祝
Mental high five?
好吧
Yeah.
心里击掌庆祝
Mental high five.
史蒂文·克拉克不是美国巨星的冠军
Steven Clark, he wasn’t the winner on “American Superstarz”
但我认为他已胜出 他靠着新单曲一炮走红
but I think he’s a winner. He’s back with a new hit single.
欢迎在推特上与我们互动 发表看法
We want to hear what you think. Give us a tweet.
可知前路去向何方
Do you know where you’re going to?
人生百态…
Do you like the things…
又来了 继续嘲笑弱智的孩子吧
There they go, making fun of the guy who rides the short bus.
这就是美国
Yay, America.
你可知道
Do you know?
-准备好了吗 -该你了
– Ready? – Your turn.
好吧
Okay.
就想象是把你的脑袋打开花
Just think about blowing your head off.
开始吧
Come on.
好的 准备好了吗
Okay. Ready?
彻底的随机概率
Completely random.
随时可能发生
It could happen at any time.
-好了吗 从我开始吗 -没错
– Ready? Am I going? – Yeah.
-好吧 -从你开始
– Okay. – You’re going.
很好 不错
All right, that’s good.
-好吧 -你知道我讨厌什么吗
– Okay. – You know what I hate?
什么
What?
我讨厌说”事实上”的人
I hate guys that say actually all the time.
像”你事实上在脑袋上架了一把枪”这样
Like, “You actually got a gun to your head.”
挺不错的
Oh, that’s a good one.
你事实上 你事实上还活着
You’re actually… Oh! You’re actually still alive.
你知道我还讨厌什么吗
You know what else I hate?
照字面意思用错词的人
People who misuse the term literally.
我猜净是些没想象力的人
Literal people, I guess.
还好
Okay.
马上就到了
We’re getting close.
我讨厌那些买♥♥了辆10万美元的跑车
I hate guys that buy $100,000 cars
却把车开得比限速还慢10码的人
and then drive around 10 Miles slower than the speed limit.
我讨厌穿女式短裤的人
I hate guys who wear lady pants.