上帝保佑美国（2011）

造成了总共16亡33伤
all in one tragic afternoon.
当过小祭司和鹰童军
A former altar boy and eagle scout,
鹰童军 童子军的最高级别
1966年他爬到
he climbed the university of Texas
德克萨斯州大学的钟楼上
clock tower in 1966,
利用高杀伤力步♥枪♥和海军训练
and, using his high-powered rifles and marine training,
成为美国首位杀人狂
he became America’s first spree killer.
认识下史蒂文·克拉克
Meet Steven Clark,
昨晚 美国巨星诞生的最新明星
the newest star from last night’s “American superstarz”.
现在 如果你错过了那期节目
Now, if you missed the show,
你也许应该先堵上耳朵
you might want to plug your ears for this one.
可知前路去向何方
Do you know where you’re going to
心中希冀何事
What are you hoping for
昨晚的美国巨星
好了 停下 我希望你会停下
Okay, okay, stop. I’m hoping that you’ll stop.
我最爱真人秀里
That’s my favorite part
人们发疯的部分了
of the show when they have the crazies on.
我懂 我为嘲笑他感到很愧疚
I know, I feel so guilty for laughing,
但这太有趣了
but it is so funny.
乱说 这太荒谬了
Makeup! This is ridiculous.
5773号♥ 5773又1/2号♥
-早 -怎么
– Morning. – Yeah?
-谁啊 -你又堵到我了
– Who is it? – You blocked me in again.
你自己堵着自己了 兄弟
You blocked yourself in, bro.
好吧
Okay.
你能把车挪挪吗 我有点迟了
Can you move your car? I’m running kind of late.
-现在 -对
– Now? – Yeah.
告诉他把车停得离我们远点
Tell him to park his car away from us.
好的
Fine.
你知道多远算远吗
Do you know where the remote is?
兄弟 你得给自己留多点空间
Dude, you need to leave yourself more room.
好的
Right.
事实上 40%的成年美国人
In fact, 40% of adult Americans
阅读能力不超过四年级生
cannot read above a fourth grade level.
高中生被问到他们想成为
When high schoolers were asked
哪个在世的美国人的时候
what living American they would want to be,
大多数女孩回答说金·卡戴珊
the majority of girls answered Kim Kardashian
大多数男孩回答说
and the majority of boys
泽西海岸中的任何男性角色
answered any male cast member on “The Jersey shore”.
我们是听众支持的广播
We are listener-supported radio.
我们只能保持播音…
We can only stay on the air with…
我真的迟了 埃德
I’m really late, Ed.
你何时能记住怎么停你该死的车
How about you remember how to park your fucking car?
如果他用一个蛋蛋都玩得这么好
Hey, if he plays this well with one testicle,
也许整个团队都该得癌症
maybe the whole team should get cancer.
寄所有愤怒的信跟卡片给这位E男
Oh, send all angry letters and cards to the e-man here.
什么 我是坏人 是吗
What? Ok, well, I’m the bad guy, right?
我只是说出所有人的想法而已
I’m just saying what you’re all thinking.
这不是你♥爸♥爸的体育比赛
This ain’t your daddy’s sports show.
很多大男子汉一起做大玉米煎饼的经历
The mucho macho grande burrito mascheesmo experience!
极限体验
It’s extreme.
这是美国巨星里我最喜欢的部分
This is my most favorite part of “American superstarz”…
当弱智出现时
when they have the retards on.
-我知道你的意思 -这很疯狂
– I know what you mean. – This thing is crazy.
我们让你出入后台
We’re giving you backstage passes,
你要做的只是碰到她的乳♥头♥
and all you have to do is touch her on the tit
可能再揉一下
and maybe box a little bit.
天哪 你在这个真人秀工作这么久了
Jesus, how long have you worked on this show
还是不知道怎么去揩下流女孩的油
and you don’t know how to screen the dirty girls?
我们要见血 要看到痛哭
We want to see blood, we want to see tears,
要看到你们这些婊♥子♥中有人被踢出去
we want to see one of you whores get knocked out.
碰她那不完美的乳♥头♥
Hit her in her defective tit.
-你好 -怎么了 你打电♥话♥了
– Hi. – What’s up? You called.
我只是想知道
I was just trying to
明天什么时候去接艾娃
figure out what time to pick up Ava tomorrow.
艾娃说她不想去看你
Ava says she doesn’t want to visit you.
不 她要去
No, well, she’going to.
弗兰克 我不能强迫她
Frank, I can’t make her.
不 你可以 你是成年人
Yes, you can, you’re the adult.
让她接电♥话♥
Put her on the phone.
好吧
All right.
艾娃 甜心
Hey, Ava, honey.
是爸爸
It’s your dad.
我正在做重要的事
I’m doing something important.
也许你可以按个暂停
Well, maybe you could press pause?
但我就快到下一级了
But I’m almost to the next level!
按暂停
Hit pause.
爸爸
Hi, Daddy.
孩子 想到明天来看我会兴奋吗
Hey, kid. You excited to come see me tomorrow?
-我想跟妈妈待在一起 -为什么
– I want to stay with Mommy. – Why?
因为在你家里没事可做
Because there’s nothing to do at your house.
没事可做是什么意思
What do you mean there’s nothing to do?
我们做很多事
We do lots of stuff.
在公园玩 去动物园
We play in the park. We go to the zoo.
-做艺术品 -你家无聊死了
– We make art. – Your house is boring.
你要来看我
Well, you’re coming to see me.
-你有礼物给我吗 -没有
– Do you have a present for me? – No.
-你好 -她去哪了
– Hey. – Where’d she go?
她刚把电♥话♥递给我
She just handed the phone back.
我真不该让你带她搬出镇子
You know, I should never have let you move her out of town.
弗兰克 我们住在锡拉库扎时
Frank, she didn’t like to
锡拉库扎 意大利西西里岛东部一港市
她都不喜欢去看你
come visit you even when we lived in Syracuse.
好吧 艾莉森
All right, well, Alison,
尽你最大可能改变她的想法 好吗
see what you can do about changing her mind, okay?
再见
Bye.
所以说完了
So we’re done talking?
不 布拉德 听着
No, Brad… Oh, hey, listen.
我不确定我是否记得告你
Um, I’m not sure I remembered to tell you,
但
but…
布拉德和我要结婚了
Brad and I are getting married.
告诉布拉德
We, tell Brad
他的女人我玩过 好吗
when he’s down there to smell my balls, all right?
弗兰克问你好
Frank says hi.
也回问他好
Tell him hi back.
再见 艾娃
Bye, Ava.
艾莉森 让她来 好吗
Alison, get her to come, okay?
这对我意义重大
It means everything to me.
天哪 弗兰克 我会试试 好吗
God, Frank, I’ll try, all right?
你真爱小题大做
You are such a drama queen.
小题大做 小题大做
Drama queen, drama queen,
爸爸爱小题大做
Daddy is a drama queen.
是的 谢谢
Yeah, thanks.
-你好 卡伦 -你好
– Hi, Karen. – Hi.
这是我跟你谈到的那本书
Oh, here’s that book I was telling you about.
谢谢
Thanks.
真的 真的
True, true.
但你知道我在想什么
But you know what I was thinking?
如果他只有一个蛋蛋也能玩得那么好
If he plays that good with only one testicle,
也许整个团队都该得癌症
maybe the whole team should get cancer.
少来了 头儿
Oh, killed it, boss.
我不敢相信你那么说
I can’t believe you said that.
拜托 我只是说出所有人的想法
Oh, come on. I’m just saying what you’re all thinking.
我的天 我为他感到如此难过
Oh, my God. I feel so sad for him.
-他是来真的吗 -是的 他是来真的
– Is he for real? – Yes, he’s for real.
今早巨男孩在播他
He was on phat boy this morning.
那真是 好吧 真的很糟
Yeah, that’s real, all right. Real bad.
你真的很坏
Oh, you’re real bad.
我觉得他不错
I think he’s good.
不
Not.
你说中了
Oh, you got me.
我想我那一下伤到背了
I think I hurt my back on that one.