幽灵世界（2001）

“美国最高评论认为”
America’s top critics agree…
“《饮醉月之花》是一部……”
“The Flower That Drank The Moon…”
我们快走吧。呆在这儿真难受。
Let’s get out of here. This place makes me sick.
我们今天晚上应该找点乐子。
We have to do something fun tonight.
这是我开始我的蠢工作之前最后一个自♥由♥的周末了。
It’s my last weekend of freedom before I start my stupid job.
我知道有个派对，我们迟点可以去。
I know a party we could go to later.
真的吗？哪儿？
Really? Where?
这是一个惊喜。
It’s a surprise.
有些唱片我舍得花钱
Some records I will pay serious money for…
前提是它是正经的V+唱片
provided that they’re a sincere V-plus.
如果不是的话，我情愿听CD上的。
Other than that, I just prefer to have them on CD.
但是CD永远不可能有78转唱片的音质。
But CDs will never have the presence of an original 78.
错。把握得当的数码转换版
Wrong. A digital transfer, adequately mastered…
会和原版音效完全一致。
will sound identical to the original.
你有没有够格的均衡器？
Do you have a decent equalizer?
-我有一个Klipsch杰士 2B3 -明显问题就出在这儿。
– I have a Klipsch 2B3. – Obviously the problem.
难道你用一个十波段的均衡器
You expect a ten-band equalizer…
就能传递最先进的声音了吗？
to impart state-of-the-art sound?
做你的梦吧。不可能的！
Dream a little dream. It’s never gonna happen.
我超级、超级恨你。
I totally, totally hate you.
别这样。这个派对还是挺有趣的。
Come on. This is a fun party.
厄斯金•霍金斯和他的乐队，你有吗？
Erskine Hawkins and his orchestra, do you have that?
真不错，不过不要。
That’s nice, but no.
-《金色婚礼》呢？ -噢，我知道那个。
– “Golden Wedding”? – Oh, I know that.
那太棒了。
That’s excellent.
那边那两个啦啦队的是怎么回事？
What’s the story with the two cheerleaders over there?
她们是西摩叫来的。
They’re Seymour’s.
西摩？不可能。你逗我玩呢！
Seymour? No. You got to be kidding me.
别担心了。我和那家伙一起住了五年了。
Don’t worry about it. I’ve lived with the guy for five years.
他上不了手的。你也上不了。
He’s not getting any. Neither are you.
嘿，你知道吗？听我说，乔，行吗？
Hey, you know what? Listen to me, Joe, all right?
我来告诉你，乔，行吗？
Let me tell you something, Joe, OK?
你不挥棒，就打不了全垒打。
You can’t score a home run without swinging the bat.
对吧？物理上说不通嘛。
All right? Physically impossible.
看着吧，学一学，神父。
Watch and learn, padre.
过得怎么样？亚当。
How’s it going, Adam?
这有一个位子。
There’s a seat right there.
-不介意我坐这儿吧？ -介意。
– Mind if I sit down? – Yes.
噢，兄弟。那可真冷漠。
Oh, man. That was cold.
坐这也不碍你事儿。
You’re all right.
你挺刻薄的啊。
You’re pretty sharp.
你穿着一条绿裙子。你是哪里人？爱尔兰的？
You’re wearing a green dress. What are you, Irish?
我敢打赌你是爱尔兰人。你叫什么名字？
I bet you’re Irish. What’s your name?
-梅洛拉。 -啊，梅洛拉。
– Melorra. – Ah, Melorra.
听我说，梅洛拉。
So listen to me, Melorra.
我告诉你吧。
Let me tell you something.
你看起来像个有趣的妞。
You seem like an interesting chick.
你在这儿和一群失败者混什么？
What are you doing hanging here with all these losers?
你说我们两个出去找点热闹的地方玩怎么样？
What do you say you and me go hit some night spots?
嗯，梅洛拉，我马上回来。
Well, Melorra, I’ll be right back.
我去拿瓶啤酒。
I’m gonna get a beer.
不，伊妮，等等。
No, Enid, wait.
嗨，没关系。
Hey, that’s all right.
这个中心孔太大，还有一条小缝。
It has a large center hole and a hair crack.
但那个缝只有发丝一样细，完全听不出来的。
But the crack is so tight, it’s completely inaudible.
但发丝一样细的缝，也是一条缝。
But a tight hair crack is just that… a crack.
我不收集有缝的唱片。
I don’t collect cracked records.
我只付好价钱买♥♥完美的唱片。
I only pay premium on mint records.
西摩，你知道我的。麻烦你。
Seymour, you know that. Please.
嗯，那个大洞和小缝是怎么回事？
So, what was all that about enlarged holes and tight cracks?
我没想到你会有兴趣来这个
I didn’t think you would have any interest…
小聚会。
in this get-together.
如果你告诉我要来的的话，
If you would have told me you were coming…
我会提前告诉你这不是一个真正的派对或什么。
I would have warned you it’s not like a real party or anything.
这你倒说对了。
You’re right about that.
那么。这就是你收藏的唱片？
So, is this your record collection?
天哪，才不是。这只是我要卖♥♥的垃圾。
God, no. This is just junk I have for sale.
-唱片室是非请勿进的。 -真的吗？
– The record room is off limits. – Really?
请进。
Here.
这全都是唱片吗？
Are all these records?
目前我大概有1500张78转唱片。
I’ve got about 1,50078s at this point.
我在试着削减我的收藏
I’ve tried to pare down my collection…
集中为精华部分。
to just the essential.
看看这间屋子！
Look at this room.
这儿就像是我的梦幻房♥间。
This is, like, my dream room.
看看这些东西！
Look at all this stuff.
你简直可以说是世界上最幸运的人了。
You are, like, the luckiest guy in the world.
我要是拥能有这些东西，杀了我都行。
I would kill to have stuff like this.
那麻烦你，杀了我吧。
Please. Go ahead and kill me.
噢，算了吧。你说什么呢？
Oh, come on. What are you talking about?
你觉得像这样着了魔似的收藏什么东西是健康的吗？
You think it’s healthy to obsessively collect things?
你根本不和人联♥系♥。
You can’t connect with other people…
所以只能把自己的生活装满冷冰冰的东西
so you fill your life with stuff.
我就和其他这些可怜的收集狂失败者一样。
I’m just like all the rest of these pathetic collector losers.
不，你不一样。你是个很酷的人，西摩。
No, you’re not. You’re a cool guy, Seymour.
我要真是那么酷，怎么会四年来没有一个女朋友？
Then how come I haven’t had a girlfriend in four years?
我甚至不记得上次姑娘和我说话是什么时候了。
I can’t even remember the last time a girl talked to me.
我正在和你说话呀。
I’m talking to you.
你知道，我打赌成千上万的女人
You know, I bet there are tons of women…
只要一分钟就会和你约会。
who’d go out with you in a minute.
我知道我只要，差不多两秒就能给你找到对象。
I know I could get you a date in, like, two seconds.
祝你好运了。
Good luck.
我是认真的。一切都包在我身上。
I mean it. You leave everything to me…
我来给你提供私人约会服务。
I’m going to be your own personal dating service.
行啊，好了，我们应该回去了。
Yeah, well, we should get back.
到这个夏天结束时
By the end of this summer…
你就会忙着尝鲜鲍了。
you’re going to be up to your neck in pussy.
上帝啊！
Jesus.
她怎么样？你愿意和她约会吗？
What about her? Would you go out with her?
这算哪门子的问题？
What kind of a question is that?
这根本无关紧要，因为那样的女生
It’s totally irrelevant, because a girl like that…
肯定不会和我掺和到一起。
would never be caught dead with me.
是吗，不过先不提这个。
Yeah, but put that aside for now.
你愿不愿意和她约会？
Would you go out with her?
我真的没仔细看她。
I really didn’t get a good look at her.
不，你看了。哇！
Yes, you did. Whoa.
她怎么样？你喜不喜欢巨♥乳♥女郎？
What about her? Are you into girls with big tits?
上帝啊！
Jesus.
我的意思是，只要她不是完完全全的白♥痴♥
I mean, as long as she’s not a complete imbecile…
她还是有那么一点点吸引力……
and she’s even remotely attractive…
嘿，瞧啊，那是诺曼。 嗨，诺曼。
Hey, look, there’s Norman. Hi, Norman.
我们得找个地方，
We need to find a place where you can go…
你可以在那儿碰到和你有共同兴趣的女人。
to meet women who share your interests.
可能我不想遇到和我有共同兴趣的女人
Maybe I don’t want to meet someone who shares my interests.
我讨厌我的兴趣。
I hate my interests.
列出五个你主要感兴趣的，以感兴趣程度排序。
List your five main interests in order of importance.
那我说传统爵士、布鲁斯
I’d have to put traditional jazz, blues…
然后是雷格泰姆*在最前面。
（*1♥8♥9♥0年发源于美国南方的音乐形式）
and then ragtime at the top of the list.
很好，那我们就写音乐吧。
Right, so let’s just say music.
这样我们就只用了一个兴趣。
That way, we only use up one.
好吧。
All right.
我们能进去一下吗？就耽误一秒。
Can we go in here for a second? Just for a second.
-嗨，乔什。 -嗨。
-Hi,Josh. -Hi.
这是顺道来打个招呼。
Just stopping by to say hi.
嗯。
uh.
这是我朋友，西摩。
This is my friend Seymour.
好吧。我们晚点再见，乔什。
OK. Well, we’ll see you later, Josh.
乔什！你在干什么？
Josh, what you goddamn doing?
快他妈打扫干净！上帝啊！
Clean up that fucking mess! Jesus.
那么，刚才那个是你男朋友？