糊涂侦探（2008）

有时候我会莫名其妙昏倒 我不会真的打你
Sometimes I faint. I’m not going to hit you.
但是 光是看到想到或提到血
No, but when I see blood, or when I talk about blood, or think about blood
没有血啦 撑着点
There will be no blood. Hang in there. Hang in, buddy.
你在干嘛
What are you doing, dummkopf
别冲到马路中间 你会被车撞到
Running out in the middle of the road You could get hit by a car
这真是巧到不行
Well, that was ironic.
局长 我不信
Chief, I’m not buying it.
我们有这么多监视卫星
With all our satellites, there’s no way anybody could possibly
没有人能偷偷运送”猴子弹”
have nuclear bombs that we wouldn’t know about.
是核子弹才对吧
“Nuclear ”
什么 抱歉
What’s that Sorry.
总统先生 让我给你看情资
Mr. President, if I could just please show you some data, you’d agree
你们先别这么急
Well, just back up here a second.
我想先知道的是
First thing I’d like to know is
副总统是怎么说的
what did the vice president say about this
昨天我和副总统大打出手
I’m afraid the vice president and I had a lessthancordial encounter yesterday.
大打出手 是的
Lessthancordial, you say Yes, sir.
好样的
I’ll say.
参谋首长寄给我一段影片
The chairman of joint chiefs sent me this little movie.
我下载到手♥机♥
Put it right here on my cell phone.
你也来看看 这一段最精彩
Let me share this with you. This is my favorite part.
“我装了心律调节器 打多久都行”
I got a new pacemaker, I can go all day
局长
Oh, Chief.
超狠的擒杀
Very sweet tackle.
你们看他脸上惊讶的表情
Look. Look at the surprise on his face.
我应该向你道歉 长官
I probably owe you an apology for that, sir.
免了 省着点吧
No. Please, just save your breath.
不过我必须同意那个小孬种
But I have to agree with that son of a bitch.
不能把每个威胁当真
We cannot respond to every threat.
就这样了
Case closed.
麦斯
Max
你好 天字99号♥
Hello, 99.
追踪99号♥的手♥机♥讯号♥
Trace 99’s call, now
你在哪里 这不重要
Where are you That’s not important.
重要的是盖不达集团 在洛城放了炸♥弹♥
What is important is that KAOS has planted a bomb somewhere in Los Angeles.
查到了 他还在华府
We got him. He’s still in Washington.
我在牢房♥时有时间思考
Listen, while I was in my cell, I had some time to think.
虽然我是冤枉的 但是我很快乐
I realized that even though I was accused of something I didn’t do, I was happy.
至少我实现了短暂当特务的美梦
Because at least for a little while, I got to live my dream of being an agent.
我也有机会认识你
And I got to be with you.
我知道你的右勾拳很有力
I learned that you have a mean right cross
跳起舞来几乎跟我不相上下
you are almost as good a dancer as me
而且你以前长得像你妈 麦斯
and you used to look like your mom. Max.
拜托 99号♥ 我只要求你看着我的双眼
Please, 99. All I’m asking is for you to look me in the eyes
告诉我你对我并不是没有感觉
and tell me that you don’t feel something too.
别动
Freeze
喔 麦斯 我怎么看得到你的双眼
Oh, Max. How could I look in your eyes
只要转过身
Just turn around.
你为什么对着鞋子说话
Why are you talking into your shoe
我用这玩意 转接手♥机♥讯号♥再打给你
The old “call forwarding from the shoe phone to the cell phone
这样你就不知道我在哪里
so you don’t know where I am, then I appear on the roof behind you
然后我从你身后屋顶冒出来
and surprise everyone” trick.
别动 麦斯 你在干嘛
Don’t move. What are you doing
你是怎么来的
How did you get here
还有没有呕吐袋
Do you have another one of these
这不重要
It doesn’t matter.
重要的是 我们必须找到炸♥弹♥ 我是来帮忙的
What matters is that there is a bomb, and I’m here to find it.
你怎么能确定 我不能说
How do you know this I’d rather not say.
这攸关数百万条的人命
Max, there are millions of lives at stake.
如果你有可靠的情报来源
If you have credible information from a reliable source
我现在就要知道
I wanna know it, and I wanna know it now.
情报来源是美国流行金曲榜
I heard it from America’s sweetheart, Ryan Seacrest.
少来了
Come on.
那是加密的讯息
It was a coded message.
麦斯 都快来不及了 你还在瞎说什么
Max, we’re running out of time here. What are you talking about
我认识一名盖不达集团特务
I received a tip from a KAOS agent who I befriended at the bakery.
我们应该相信他
I think we should trust him, Chief.
没错 我同意99号♥
Absolutely, Chief. I’m with 99 on that one.
我看到麦斯无辜的双眼就心软
Every time I look at Max’s puppy eyes, I’m a goner.
天啊 你一定是没被女人甩过
Oh, my God. You’ve really never had anyone break up with you, have you
局长 你说你我是同一种人
Chief, you said that you and I are alike.
我们的思想比较保守老套
That we are both oldfashioned men.
我有一个保守的直觉
Well, I have an oldfashioned hunch.
我认为你会凭直觉 知道我说的 是实话
I have a hunch that you have a hunch that I am telling the truth.
麦斯
Max
一名双面间谍好不容易越狱
Any double agent who escapes from a highsecurity holding situation
却又回去找逮捕他的人
only to fall into the arms of the people that got him in the first place
他不是白♥痴♥ 就不是双面间谍 我不认为你是白♥痴♥
is either an idiot or not a double agent, and I don’t think you’re an idiot.
谢谢你 局长
Thank you, Chief.
现在我们知道总统在洛城
Now, we know that the president is in town.
他到底跑来干嘛 麦斯
But what exactly is he doing here today Max.
（迪士尼音乐厅欢迎总统莅临）
我们得查出他的行程表
Yes. We need to find out his itinerary.
可是 麦斯
But, Max, the
（迪士尼音乐厅）
我知道 99号♥ 我得去买♥♥报纸
I know, 99. I need to go get a paper.
（迪士尼音乐厅 下午4点30分）
我们差不多就位了
We’re in position. More or less.
收到 我骇入整个保全系统
Roger. I have the whole security system online. Just remember
知道了 别再多说废话了
Yes, we know. How about a little radio silence
我也想辞职不干 可是谁叫他娶了我老妹
I wanna quit, but what can I do He’s married to my sister.
还有 我看了糕饼店的监视录影带
By the way, I reviewed the security tapes from the explosion at the bakery
我知道你把那两个特务给放走
and I know that you let those CONTROL agents get away.
要是你今天不好好听话
So unless you do your job today
这将是你美娇娘的最后晚餐
your lovely wife, Zeenat, will have eaten her last kebab.
（安检遭到入侵）
蓝组 检查第7区是否遭人侵入
Blue team, check for access violation at quadrant three, sector seven.
收到
Copy that.
快去
Go.
就是这里 你到了
That’s it. You’re there.
入口很安全
Door secure.
我们必须加派人力封锁整个地方
We need to get everyone out and shut this place.
我们搜过音乐厅 没有可疑物
We’ve swept the building.
特勤局才不像天控局那么逊 捅出糕饼店的大笑话
The Secret Service doesn’t make mistakes like the fabulous bakery boys.
是谁告诉你的 是谁告诉你的
Who told you about that Who told you
冷静点 老头 小心会得心脏病
Take it easy. You’ll give yourself a heart attack.
我今天可不想帮你做人工呼吸
And this day will not include me blowing into your mouth.
你想跟我单挑吗 算了 他不值得你生气
You want a piece of me Come on, Chief He’s not worth it.
嘿 好怕喔 我在发抖耶
Hey. I’m shaking. I’m shaking.
你最好给我小心点
You better watch it.
让我痛扁他一顿
Let me at him
加州洛城欢迎各位听众欣赏
From Los Angeles, California
这场献给总统的音乐会
we welcome you to a live broadcast of our concert for the president.
世界各国的贵宾都来共襄盛举
Dignitaries from around the world have gathered.
今晚将播出来自迪士尼音乐厅的节目
We will be broadcasting from the Walt Disney Concert Hall throughout the evening.
一定有别的办法进去
There has got to be another way in.
还有五十个别的目标 我们干嘛只耗在这里
Why are we even still here There are 50 other perfect targets.
金门大桥、太空针塔 情报资讯没说这里会被攻击
The Golden Gate Bridge, Space Needle. There’s no chatter to support this.
老实说 我受够了 站住
And you know what, I’m done with this. Stop
等一下 23号♥ 你有辐射反应
Wait a minute, 23. You’re radioactive hot.
你几时曝露在辐射线底下
When were you exposed to radioactivity
我刚从俄♥国♥回来 在那里大家都有辐射反应
I just got back from Russia. Half the people there are radioactive.
那间糕饼店
The bakery.
你明明说那里没发现辐射
You said you swept the area and everything was clean.
没错 是没有 是吗
I did, and it was. Really
当时有别人在 还是只有你一人
Was there anyone else there, or do we just trust you
天字23号♥
23.
你的刀伤在渗血
Your knife wound is seeping.
你是不是血压升高了
Sudden rise in blood pressure
也许你很紧张 因为你知道这里有炸♥弹♥
Perhaps you’re nervous because there is a bomb here and you know it.
公事箱有什么 会不会是装了引爆器呢
And what is with the briefcase Could that actually be the football
你是指用来引爆♥炸♥弹的电脑
You mean the computer containing the bomb activation codes