糊涂侦探（2008）

I added an “insk” at the end, made it sound Russian.
我刚刚应该海扁你一顿才对
Should’ve smacked you harder.
那是你的任务设定吗
Is that your default setting
你看到人就痛扁对方一顿吗
Do you just punch people in the face willynilly
今天是周二 我要痛扁麦斯
“It’s Tuesday, I’ll punch Max in the face.”
我看到一窝小猫 该痛扁麦斯了
“A box of kittens, time to punch Max in the face.”
我在吃面包 顺便痛扁麦斯
“I’m having bread, time to punch Max in the face.”
我很爱吃面包
You know, I love bread
虽然面包有很多淀粉
and I know bread has a few carbs, but
不过我不怕吃淀粉
l’ve never really been afraid of carbs
因为我吃多少 都一样”斯”瘦
because it seems like no matter how many I eat, I stay “thinsk.”
（工作如何 ）
（听说你朋友最近不只运送炸♥药♥）
抱歉 你们在跟我讲话吗
I’m sorry, are you talking to me
我不会说俄语
No sprechen Sie Russian.
（臭美♥国♥佬♥ 我讨厌他们）
（车♥臣♥那件事干得如何 ）
（我不知道你在说什么）
（也许下次我能帮忙 ）
（只要通知我就好 我很会用枪）
（知道吗 你太多话了）
我想告诉两位 我超爱你们国家
Boy, you know what I will tell you, I love your country.
共♥产♥党垮台后 再也没有莫名其妙的规定了
No more Communism. No rules of any kind, really.
我的行李箱装满类固醇 以及美索不达米亚古文物
I’m filling my suitcase with steroids and art from ancient Mesopotamia.
昨天还开车撞死一个老太婆 这是我最棒的假期
Ran over an old woman yesterday. Best vacation I’ve ever had.
我该吃药了
Time to take my pill.
厕所有个家伙很火热
There was a guy in the bathroom who’s really hot.
好吧
Okay
别误会 我是指辐射热
No, no, no. Radioactive hot.
虽然他粗犷的外型是挺帅的
Although he did have a certain rugged quality that some find appealing.
你怎么知道他有辐射性
How did you know he was radioactive
我手表是盖格计数器 你没有吗
My watch is a Geiger counter. You don’t have one of these Huh.
他一定有在车♥臣♥偷窃核武原料
Listen, I think he was part of the nuclear theft in Chechnya.
我们应该跟踪他
We should follow him.
我得承认 麦斯
I gotta say, Max
你挑对了餐馆
you picked a good restaurant.
当然了
Of course.
牛杂汤
Tripe soup.
这一定是柯士帝的豪♥宅♥ 什么
This must be Ladislas Krstic’s house. What
他最爱喝牛杂汤 任务档案有这项细节
Tripe soup is his favorite dish. It was in the mission dossier.
先看看有多少对手要对付 好吗
Let’s just see what we’re up against, okay
我在餐馆没时间吃东西
I didn’t get to eat at the restaurant.
不吃这一餐 下一餐就会吃更多
And if you skip a meal, the next meal you overindulge.
我有指甲 让我来 我得照减肥食谱吃
Well, let me. I’ve got nails. It’s a recipe for
你欠我三块钱
You owe me $3.
更多警卫 我们得设法混进去
More guards. We’ll have to figure out a way in.
迷你吹箭筒
Miniature blowgun.
你没有吗
You don’t have one of these
箭头浸过强效镇静剂采集自一种
These darts are tipped with a tranquilizer derived from the skin of a lizard
亚马逊蜥蜴的皮肤
known as los zapatos de la muerte.
意思是”死亡之鞋”
“The shoes of death.”
请让开
Excuse me.
距离40英尺 有点远
They’re 40 yards out, that’s definitely the edge of my range.
我要先用力吸一口气再吹
I’m going to have to give this one a little something extra.
哇
Wow.
你看起来好美
You look spectacular.
谢了
Thanks.
你自己也挺帅的嘛
You don’t look too bad yourself.
你戴了假发
Is that a wig
对 搭配礼服
Yeah, it came with the dress.
我是怎么穿上这身衣服的 那不重要 走吧
How did I get into these clothes That’s not important. Let’s go.
我穿了四角内♥裤♥
Am I wearing boxers
先告知你一声 我通常都穿三角内♥裤♥
For future reference, I usually prefer briefs
三角内♥裤♥比较安全贴身
for their security and peace of mind.
我可不想当遛鸟侠
Going freebird is not exactly ideal.
我一点都不喜欢
I don’t like it.
这里至少有两百人
There must be 200 people here.
想找到柯士帝就像大海捞针
Finding Krstic will be like finding a needle in a haystack.
（你们好 欢迎参加我的派对）
（我是柯士帝）
我很想跳舞
I’d love to dance.
你说英文 但你听得懂俄文 真迷人
English But you understand Russian Very impressive.
来吧
Shall we
希望你的舞伴不介意
I hope your date doesn’t mind.
他不是我的舞伴
Oh, he’s not my date.
只是我请来的马夫
He’s just a local horse groomer I hired to drive me around.
他很可怜 耳聋又有点傻
It’s a tragic story. He’s quite deaf. Really not bright.
我现在要去跳舞
I am going to dance now.
你自己去喝点饮料
You go get yourself some punch.
好
Okay.
我都不知道他听懂多少
I don’t even know how much gets through.
局长 我需要帮忙
Chief, I need your help.
没问题 说吧
You’re on. Go ahead.
我们找到柯士帝
We have found Krstic.
我搜过他的豪♥宅♥ 找不到电脑
I searched his house. I can’t find his computer network.
进行红外线卫星扫瞄
Get me an infrared satellite scan. Get me an infrared satellite scan.
我得去找天字99号♥ 她有危险
I have to get back to 99, she is in grave danger.
你的房♥子好漂亮
Your house is so beautiful.
你一定舍不得出门上班
It must be difficult to go to work.
我就在附近工作
I don’t have to go very far.
（对不起 你想跳舞吗 ）
才不要呢
I don’t think so.
我说的不是你
I wasn’t talking to you.
我
Me
我不知道耶
I don’t know.
一定会很好玩
It’ll be fun.
相信我
Trust me.
你的脚步真轻盈
You are so light on your feet.
我最近甩掉68公斤的肥肉
I recently lost 150 pounds.
我也是
So did I.
感觉很棒 让我更有活力
Isn’t it great I have so much more energy now.
我也一样
Me too.
多谢你往上跳 不客气
Thanks for jumping. No problem.
谢谢你陪我跳舞
Thank you for the lovely dance.
我跳舞时你有没有看到什么
Did you see anything while I was dancing
只瞄到一眼 我想你的裙底走光了
Just once, but I don’t think you expected him to lift you so high.
好吧 我查出他的办公室在哪里
Anyway, I found out that the office is in the guest house.
真的 你是怎么办到的
Really How’d you do that
向他挤乳♥沟♥ 对他抛媚眼
Show him a little decolletage, cleavage, bat your eyes
老实说 你很爱用这一套哦
I’m not judging, just detecting a pattern.
准备好工作了吗 准备好了 你呢
Ready to work I’m ready to work. You ready
我的天啊 你老是爱耍性感
Oh, my God. You’re just having fun showing your
六名警卫 找别的入口
Six guards. We are going to need another way in.
麦斯 等一下 小赖 快点
Stand by, Max. Larabee, let’s go. Move it.
你在干嘛 我找不到是哪个荧幕
What’d you do I can’t find the right screen.
本来还在的 按一个键就不见了
It was here a second ago, then it went away.
你按了什么键 别对我大吼 帮不了忙
What did you hit Don’t yell at me. It’s not helping
要是你找不到荧幕 小赖
If you don’t find that screen
我就派你拿榔头去找地雷
l’m gonna have you hunting for land mines, with a hammer
有了 麦斯 有另一个入口
Got it, Max. There is one other entrance.
什么样的入口
What kind of entrance
进去以后会让你吐到不行的入口
The kind where you’ll wanna throw your shoes out afterwards.
太好了 老鼠 而且还有大便
Oh, great, rats. It’s not enough that there’s poop.
知道吗 007从来就不会走下水道 更不会沾上老鼠大便
You know what, I never saw James Bond in rats or poop, let alone rats and poop.
看 一只老鼠站在一坨大便上
Look, a rat riding on a piece of poop.
别碎碎念 只是下水道而已
Stop it. It’s just a storm drain.
到了
Here it is.
牙线炸♥药♥ 你没有吗
Exploding dental floss. You don’t have this Hm.
三 二
Three, two
一
one.
这下可好
Right.
来吧
Come on.
你在瞄我的屁♥股♥吗
Are you staring at my butt
并没有
No, I am not.
刚刚也许有 不过
I might have been before, but I am
我又瞄了一眼 我不瞄了
Now I am again. All right, I’m stopping.