白日做梦 傻瓜
In your dreams, nutloaf.
让你尝尝我的厉害!
Bite my shiny metal hat.
堪萨斯州的赌王特克·康乃狄格先发制人
Tex Connecticut, the pride of kansas city, first to act.
笑脸·斯蒂夫 跟牌
Smiley Spiff, up next.
看上去波霸范德比尔特摸到一对不错的牌
Looks like Boobs Vanderbilt has a decent pair.
她有2张8
Also, she’s got two eights.
本德·洛迪古斯一开局就赌神高照
And Bender rodriguez picks up a lucky deal right off the bat.
两张老A 唱歌♥奏乐…
Two aces. I’m thinaking guitar solo.
我不跟
I fold.
靠 神经兮兮的新人菲力·弗莱德请到神人相助
Holy crap! A stunning play by mentally ill newcomer Philip Fry.
好像他知道本德手里有两张老A
It’s almost as if he knew Bender had two aces.
本德手里有两张老A 我不要了
Bender has two aces? I’m out.
-我不要了 -我不要了
– I’m out. – I’m out.
眼馋吧!
Suck my luck!
瞧着这把枪了吧
See this gun?
本德要是赢了 下场如此枪
That’s what I’m gonna do to Bender if he wins.
全部 有种的来拿!
All in. Call my mighty bid at your peril.
我的牌太差了 我要抱抱
My cards are awful, and I need a hug.
我看你是吓唬人
I call your bluff.
我要废了你…
I shall annihilate…
我只想让老爸以我为荣
I just wanted to make my daddy proud.
不可能了 周一前带着你的破烂滚吧
Well, you didn’t. I want you and your junk moved out by Monday.
现场状况愈演愈烈
It’s getting pretty intense, folks.
根据特勒的头部腐烂情况
Based on the state of decomposition of teller’s head,
可以推算出锦标赛已经进行了19个小时
We’re now in hour 19 of the tournament.
看起来本德第一次摸到了最差的牌
And the first bad deal of the night for Bender.
神呐 显显灵啦! 瞧这牌多臭!
Hey, pal, help me out here. This is the worst possible hand, right?
全部
I’m all in.
我跟 随便吧
All in! I mean, fold. Whatever.
本德运气用完了
Well, Bender’s luck just ran out.
没啥牌能帮他挽回败局
No card can save him from elimination.
我的妈呀! 他死了
Oh, my gourds! He’s dead.
21点 赢家
21, winner!
真♥他♥妈♥的走运 比拉屎还爽
I’m so full of luck, it’s shooting out like luck diarrhea.
赌徒们 注意啦
Wake up, poker fans!
我们马上进入总决赛
We’re down to our final two players
巅峰对决的赌神之争
In heads-up action for the championship.
你有啥高见 特勒
Your perspective, teller?
全押上
All in.
可是你咋不看牌呢!
But you didn’t even look at your cards!
在赌场上 只有靠技术的人才会看牌
Looking at one’s cards is a crutch for players who rely on skill.
现在 弗莱德 跟还是不跟
Any day now, Fry. You in or out?
怎么啦弗莱德 吓傻了 还是发疯了
What’s the matter, Fry, you scared? Or just crazy?
好吧 全押上
All right, all in.
酷 4张老A
Yes! Four aces!
来数数牌 看看是啥 等着哭吧
Read ’em and weep, and then tell me what they are.
2张老K 加上翻开的3个
Two kings. And with three on the board,
一共5张老K
that gives Bender five kings.
-怎么可能… -难以置信
– but how is that… – I don’t believe it.
本德竟然摸到了老K牌啤酒
Bender has just been dealt the king of beers,
尽管这张K是从酒吧里面混进来的垫子
A coaster from the bar that somehow got mixed into the deck.
不过算数!
But it still counts!
本德成为新一代赌神!
Bender win the championship!
钱是好东西呀!
That’s some good money.
你赢了 本德 你是最棒的
You did it, Bender. You’re the greatest.
跟我说点别的 宝贝
Tell me something I don’t know, sweetass.
咱们跳舞吧
Now, let’s boogie.
党伯察觉之前 我们先去塔希提岛爽歪歪吧!
We’ll be in space tahiti before the Donbot knows what hit him.
我现在开始怀疑了
Now I am suspicious.
好啦 坟坑挖完了 可以送我们走了吗
Okay, we finished digging this shallow grave. Can we go now?
在机器人黑老大把本德弄死之前
Poor Bender left me one last voicemail
这是可怜的家伙留给我最后的语♥音♥邮件
Before the robot mafia buried him in the desert.
弗莱德 老伙计 死之前 我只想说…
Fry, old friend, before I die, I just wanted to say…
别挂断 有另一通电♥话♥进来 喂
Hang on, I’m getting another call. Hello?
大家排队 人手一把锹
Line up, people! Everyone take a shovel
一个人要挖1/6的星球
And one sixth of the planet.
等我们50年后嗝儿屁著凉了
We’ll meet back here in 50 years,
咱们再在这里聚聚
Our bodies broken and our lives wasted.
你是说这铁锹是免费的吗
And you say these are free shovels?
我回来了 哦耶
I’m back, baby.
本德 我原以为机器人黑老大杀了你
Bender! I thought the robot mafia killed you.
没 他们只是射射枪 埋我们一阵子
Nah, they just shot us and
警告我们一下
Buried us a few times as a warning.
本德真是太勇敢啦
Bender was so brave.
即使是他们枪射我们的时候
He never stopped making out with me
还忍♥不住跟我卿卿我我
The whole time they were shooting us.
那是当然
I sure didn’t.
我要回我老公那儿去 今晚你来吗
I gotta get back to my husband, baby. Will I see you tonight?
几率不大
Probably not.
黄氏迷你高尔夫球俱乐部
离小丑的要害有14英尺
It’s a 14-footer with a clown hazard.
兜袋 你觉得我用哪只球杆呢
What club you recommend, baggy?
一如既往 我建议用推杆
As on every hole, I suggest the putter.
黄老先生 您的高尔夫球会真是他妈的高级
Your golf club sure is classy, mr. Wong.
到处是裸体雕像
Naked statue classy.
真不错啊
It is very nice.
我只是不希望我和艾米胸前
I just wish Amy and I didn’t have to
挂着个傻乎乎的性别牌
Wear these sexist badges on our melons.
我们能做嘉宾就不错了 里拉
We’re lucky even to play as guests, Leela.
老爸的球会是禁止女人的
Dad’s club has a very strict “no girls allowed” policy.
-真不公平 -事实如此
– that doesn’t seem fair. – it really is.
谁都知道女人掌握不好高尔夫的诀窍
Everybody knows women don’t have the focus
打球绝对到不了高级水平
To play miniature golf at a professional level.
不过那是今天最漂亮的一击吧!
But that’s the best shot of the day!
那不是我的球吗? 我想是我打过去的
Is that my ball? I think that my ball.
-老爸 漂亮 -好的 打完了
– great putt, dad. – okay, we’re done.
黄老先生
Mr. Wong,
沙漠中♥央♥的这片青草地您是怎么弄的
How do you keep this place so green in the middle of the desert?
这么做不浪费水吗
Doesn’t that waste a lot of water?
不会 水多得是 直接从火烈鸟湖抽过来的
Nah, we got plenty water, pumped directly from flamingo lake.
他们没事
They’ll be fine.
我忒喜欢迷你高尔夫球 可以说是痴迷
Oh, yeah, I love miniature golf. Love everything about it,
只是球的尺寸有点太他妈的迷你了
Except how damn miniature it is.
所以我打算建造宇宙
That’s why I’m building the universe’s
超级大高尔夫场地
biggest miniature golf course.
-这是第一个球座 -球洞在哪儿
– This the first tee. – where’s the hole?
在冥王星的月亮海德拉上
On pluto’s moon, Hydra.
一杆要射6亿英里 男人都很难办到
It’s a six-billion-mile par-two. Tough shot, even for a man.
绕过太阳 弹过木星
Around the sun. Bank off jupiter.
正中…
And right into the…
我马上回来
I’ll be right back.
进了! 给我记2杆
It dropped in! Put me down for a two.
2杆
Two.
听着 那只是第一个洞
Keep in mind, that just the first hole.
整个银河系都在球场建筑计划当中
For full course, we gonna bulldoze this entire arm of the milky way.
什么 就为建一个傻了吧唧的球场
What? You’re gonna wipe out 10% of the galaxy
你要毁掉10%的星系?
For a stupid golf course?
首先 是12% 其次 你说对了
First of all, it 12%. Second, yes, you betcha.
但是你没想过可能会危及一些有机生命吗
But you have no idea what life forms might be evolving out there.
所以我雇了一名严谨公正的科学家
That’s exactly why I’m hiring an impartial scientist
派他进行环境调查
To perform an environmental survey.
就是洗钞票浴的那位
That’s him in the money shower.
考查日志
Delivery boy’s log.
我正以为在厕所打盹的时候
Having fallen asleep on what I thought was the toilet,
醒来发现正在进行环境考察
I awoke to find the environmental survey in progress.
-情况报告 技术员 -没啥
– Status reports, science officer. – Zilcho.
没任何生命迹象
No sign of life or intelligence.
就像弗莱德约会的时候
Just like Fry on a date.
嘿!
Hey!
好吧 我们还没发现生命体
Okay, so we haven’t found any life yet.
我还是不明白 为啥你们男的
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