飞出个未来大电影1：班德大行动（2007）

Uh-oh. I have a worrisome shriveling sensation in my sprunjer.
亲爱的 你们被耍了
唉! 班德! 太好了
Yay! Bender! All right!
班德 你是怎么弄到世界末日设备的?
Bender, how the Hulk did you end up with the doomsday device?
我一个人在作思想斗争
I was working the long con all along.
在用很钝的锯子锯教授手的时候
While sawing off the professor’s hand with an extremely dull saw,
我有一些时间去思考
I had some time to think.
所以 我问自己 谁能更多用到世界末日设备?
So I asked myself, “Who could use a doomsday device more?
“那群骗子还是我 班德?”
“The scammers or me, Bender?”
锯了几分钟后 我知道了答案
After several minutes of sawing, I knew the answer.
是我 班德
Me, Bender.
所以 我回收了假包
So I retrieved the dummy satchel,
在我脱离骗子的控制后
And as soon as I was out of the scammer’s control,
我取出了 真的设备
I pulled the old switcheroo.
这就是我救地球的方法 我是最伟大的
And that’s how I saved Earth and am the greatest.
班德 我们的机器人 我很荣幸为你颁发最高地球诈骗荣誉奖
Bender the robot, I’m proud to present you Earth’s highest award for swindling.
昂脏的双十字架
The Dirty Double-Cross.
我会永远珍藏 并且马上典当
I’ll always treasure it and immediately hock it.
瞧睢 你的身体就和以前的一样好
There, your body’s good as new.
喷这个管理栓剂 每…
Just pop in an executive suppository every few…
怎么了? 没什么
What is it? Nothing.
今天是个值得庆祝的日子 莉拉
It’s supposed to be a celebration, Leela.
我的意思是 乐观起来
I mean, come on.
我情不自禁 我当时就快结婚了
I can’t help it. I was gonna be married.
当时很幸福
I was so happy.
哦 或许你会在某天遇到其它人
Well, maybe you’ll meet someone else someday.
不 你不明白
No, you don’t understand.
拉尔斯 是我唯一爱的人
Lars is the only man I’ll ever love.
我的内心是这么说的
I know it in my heart.
还记得我们第一次见面吗?
You remember when we first met?
8年前的今天 就在那儿的低温实验室
It was right there in the cryogenic lab, eight years ago today.
五分钟后在那儿见面 很重要
Meet me there in five minutes. It’s important.
为什么这么悲伤 莉鲁?
Why are you so sad, Leelu?
又是他?
Him again?
等等 你们俩是不是…
Wait a second, are you two…
阿塔那朱特 福福 过来!我们得还莉鲁自♥由♥
Atanarjuat, Fufu, come here! We have to set Leelu free.
见鬼 我当初不应该放弃赌博
Dang. I never should have quit my job at the casino.
我也是 但是她需要有什么让她开心起来
Me, neither. But she needs what’ll make her happy,
而不是让我高兴
not what’ll make me happy.
再见 莉鲁
Goodbye, Leelu.
我对冰冻过的头知道的不多
I don’t muc know about frozen heads,
但是 当然 如果是圣雄甘地 我会…
but, of course, if it’s Mahatma Gandhi, I’II…
莉拉? 拉尔斯?
Leela? Lars?
我… 我必须得走了 我…
I… I really have to go, I…
弗莱 这就是你愚蠢的主意?让我和拉尔斯重归于好?
Fry, was this an idiotic trick to get Lars and me back together?
太愚蠢了!
Quite idiotic.
但是 傻瓜都看得出来 你们俩彼此相属
But you don’t need to be an idiot to see that you two belong together.
况且 莉拉 我想做些让你开心的事
And, Leela, I want what’ll make you happy,
而不是让我高兴
not what’ll make me happy.
对不起 我是说真的 但我和莉拉不能结婚
I’m sorry, I really am, but Leela and I just can’t be married.
为什么不能?你们明显彼此相爱 你到底是什么意思 兄弟?
Why not? You obviously love each other. What are you, cousins?
弗莱 你得知道真♥相♥ 那是因为…
Fry, you deserve to know the truth. It’s because…
谁都不准动!
Nobody move!
裸儿 你怎么在爆♥炸♥中活下来的?
Nudar, how did you survive the doom blast?
我的防毁灭铂金背心吸收了绝大部分辐射
My doom-proof platinum vest absorbed most of the radiation.
检讨一下 我应该再穿上 防毁灭短裤的
In retrospect, I wish I’d been wearing doom-proof pants,
但是 你知道 我们是裸体主义者
but you know us nudists.
现在交出时间代码吧! 我没有
Now give me the time code! I don’t have it!
尼卜乐用激光把它从我屁♥股♥上除掉了 不在说你
Nibbler heat-blasted it off my butt Not you.
你!拉尔斯?
You! Lars?
他没有!他从来没有过! 弗莱 才有过!
He doesn’t have it. He never had it. Fry had it!
但是 尼卜乐用激光从我屁♥股♥上抹去了 我得重申
But Nibbler heat-blasted it off my butt! I want to stress that part.
我的鼻子可不是这么说的 告诉我 它在哪?
My throbbing sprunjer says otherwise. Now where is it?
我不怕你 也不怕你的超贵的枪
I’m not afraid of you or your expensive gun.
好吧 你尽管开枪吧 噢 这么勇敢?
Go ahead and shoot Oh, yeah?
如果我把你心爱的女人杀了呢?
Then what if I kill the woman you love?
你不明白吗?粗脖子? 他不爱我!
Don’t you understand, numb-neck? He doesn’t love me!
我一直爱着你
I’ve always loved you.
不要伤害她 我给你代码
Don’t hurt her. I’ll give you the code.
究竟是… 4 3 2 1
What the… Four, three, two, one,
拉尔斯 不要!
Lares No!
知道你开心就足够了
It’s enough just to know you’re happy.
你也是
You, too.
知道你和拉尔斯在一起很开心就足够了
It’s enough to know you’re happy with Lars.
弗莱 老朋友 是我 班德!
Fry, old buddy! It’s me! Bender!
我的头发!
My hair!
我的喉咙
My larynx!
我是 拉尔斯?
I’m Lars?
我是拉尔斯!
I’m Lars!
等我莉拉! 1000年后再见
Wait for me, Leela! I’ll be there in a thousand years.
我带着节省下来的面包
I’ll save my bread And take it with me
去寻找百年的心灵
i look for 100 years soul
害怕你不会见我
Shame you won’t be there To see me
与查尔斯 戴高乐握手
Shaking hands with Charles de Gaulle
你能通过冷冻成为30世纪的人
You can freeze Like a 30th-century man
所以我在头颅陈列馆找了份工作
So I got a job at the Head Museum
等着莉拉到来的那个美妙的时刻
and waited for the wonderful day when Leela would arrive.
所有事情都很完美 直到被赫米斯在婚礼上打断
Everything was perfect until Hermes exploded at our wedding.
那时我才意识到 作为一个时间的复♥制♥品
That’s when I learned that, as a time paradox duplicate,
我 同样会死
I, too, was doomed.
我不能让莉拉经受这些
I couldn’t put Leela through that.
所以 我取消了 对不起 莉拉
So I called it off. I’m sorry, Leela.
我能明白
I understand.
这儿还有另一个傻瓜视频愿望
That concludes another silly-willy video will.
他是个好人 莉拉
He was a good man, Leela.
是的 你曾经是
Yeah, you were.
好吧 它解释了一些 让所有事情顺理成章
Well, I guess that wraps everything up in a nice, paradox-free bow.
不是完全 老伙计
Not quite, my wrinkly brother. Right on.
对极了 为了让一切解释变得圆♥满♥
In order for any of this to make any sense at all,
必须有人作最后一次时间旅行
someone must make one final trip back in time
第一时间把时间代码贴到弗莱的屁♥股♥上
to put the code on Fry’s ass in the first place.
听上去像是我的本分 班德
Sounds like a job for me, Bender.
0 0 1 1 0 0 …
Zero, zero, one, one, zero, zero…
任务完成
Mission accomplished!
你在我屁♥股♥上贴上了时间代码? 某个人的屁♥股♥
You put the time code on my ass? Someone’s ass.
噢 瞧瞧我带来了什么?
Oh, and guess what?
我在石灰石洞见到了这些十分酷的人 还带着宝藏
I met all these really cool guys with treasure down in the limestone cavern,
我邀请他们过来坐一会
so I invited them to stick around
虽然逻辑上来说 他们应该处于不同的时代
instead of coming up when they were logically supposed to.
不!不!大家赶紧离开宇宙 快!
No! No! Everyone out of the universe! Quick!
最糟又会怎样呢?
What’s the worst that can happen?
我们完了
We’re done!