I know.
我知道。
I can’t believe Joey’s having lunch with his stalker. What…what is she like?
真不敢相信乔伊去跟他的跟踪狂一起吃饭。她，她长得怎么样？
Well, you remember Cathy Bates in Misery? Rachel and Yeah. Well, she looks the exact opposite of that.
你还记得“危情十日” 里面的凯西贝茨吗？嗯。她长得跟她完全相反。
And she’s not crazy?
她不是疯子？
Oh no no no, she’s a total wack job. Yeah, she thinks that Joey is actually Dr. Drake Ramoray. Oh my God.
不，她只是神经有问题。她以为乔伊真的是德瑞克雷莫瑞医生。我的天哪。
Ah, and I mean, he’s going out with her? He can not pursue this.
然后他还要去跟她约会？他不能这么做。
Hey, just because this woman thinks she can actually see Joey through the magical box in her living room doesn’t mean she’s not a person.
就因为这个女人以为她可以在她客厅的魔力盒子（电视机）里看见乔伊，并不表示她就不是人啊。
I mean, does she not deserve happiness? Does she not deserve love?
她不应该得到快乐吗？不应该得到爱吗？
What are you looking at me for? He’s the one who wants to boff the maniac!
你们看我♥干什么？想上那个疯子的是乔伊耶。
You OK? No, uhuh, I’m just, I’m nervous. So, you know what, maybe if I just, if I picture them all in their underwear.
你还好吧？不，额，我只是很紧张。如果我幻想他们只穿内衣。
That’s not a good idea, that’s kinda the reason the last guy got fired.
不，这主意不好。上个家伙就是这样被开除的。
I’m just, I’m, I’m, I’m used to playing for grownups. You know, they just, grownups drink their coffee and do their grownup thing, you know, and kids listen.
我只是，我只是习惯了为成人演唱。成人只是喝咖啡，做他们该做的事。小孩会专心听我唱。
It’s just a huge responsibility. What? Are you gonna kiss me?
我觉得这个责任好重大。怎么了？你要亲我吗？
I was thinking about it. OK. OK, alrighty, let’s play some tunes.
我正在考虑。好啊。好耶，咱们开始演奏吧。
Hi, everybody. I’m Phoebe. Hi, Phoebe!
嗨，小朋友们，我是菲比。嗨，Phoebe。
OK, um, I’m gonna play, um, some songs about grandparents, OK?
我要唱一首关于祖父母的歌，好吗？
Now Grandma’s a person who everyone likes. She bought you a train and a bright shiny bike.
奶奶走到哪里都大受欢迎。她送你辆火车跟一辆闪亮的自行车。
But lately she hasn’t been coming to dinner, and last time you saw her she looked so much thinner.
但最近她不再来共进晚餐，上词见她时她看起来瘦多了。
Now your mom and your dad said she moved to Peru, but the truth is she died And someday you will too.
爸妈告诉你她搬去秘鲁，事实上她去世了，有一天你也会去世。
Oh, Drake, isn’t it amazing? Yeah it is.
德瑞克，这真是太好了，不是吗？是啊，没错。
what?
怎么了？
Well, here we sit, devil may care, just a little while ago you were reattaching someone’s spinal cord.
现在我们轻松地坐在这儿，不在乎任何人，但刚才你还在给病人接脊髓呢。
Yeah, that was a tricky one. In reality, that operation takes like, over 10 hours, but they only showed it for 2 minutes.
是啊，那很复杂。事实上那个手术要花上十几个钟头，可是他们只播了两分钟。
Who’s they? No one.
“他们”是谁？没有啦。
Oh Drake, you are so talented, let me see those hands. Oh, these hands, these beautiful hands. I could just eat them. But I won’t.
德瑞克，你真有才华。让我看看你的手。这双美丽的手。真想吃掉他们。但我不会的。
Otherwise my watch would fall off.
那就好，不然我的手表一定会掉下来。
No, seriously. These hands. These miracle, magical, life-giving hands. Oh, just to be near them, touch them, maybe even lick one?
不，说真的。这双……救人无数，创造奇迹的手。只要靠近，抚摸这双手，要是能舔一只就好了。
Alright, just one. You’re good at that.
好吧，一只就好。你很行耶。
Oh my God! Someone, he’s choking. Is anyone here a doctor?
天哪，来人哪，他噎住了，这里有没有医生？
Well, yes, yes, the best doctor in all of Salem, Dr. Drake Ramoray.
有，有，塞林镇最好的医生德瑞克雷莫瑞医生就在这儿。
Meet me in the nocturnal house in 15 minutes.
你十五分钟之后到夜行馆等我。
Uhh, hey look, I don’t really enjoy being with other men that way. But, um, zoo dollars?
嗨，我不喜欢跟男人那样。要动物园礼券吗？
It’s about your monkey. It’s alive.
我要告诉你有关你猴子的事，他还没死。
I don’t understand, why didn’t you help that man?
我不懂，你为什么不救他？
Uhh, because, uhh, I’m a neurosurgeon and that was clearly a case of, uh, uh, foodal chokage. Alright, look, I got to tell you something.
因为我是神经外科医生，他显然是患了，额，“食道阻塞症”。好吧，听着，我要坦白一件事。
No, no no no, you don’t have to tell me anything. You don’t have to explain yourself to me.
不，不，你什么都不用告诉我。你不用向我解释什么。
Who am I to question the great Dr. Drake Ramoray? I should be happy to be near you.
我算什么啊，竟然敢怀疑伟大的德瑞克雷莫瑞医生。能接近你，我就该满足了。
Hey what?
嘿什么？
That’s it. Just hey! Like at the end of a dance, HEY! Hey. Hehey.
没什么，只是嘿。像跳完一支舞那样，嘿！嘿。
There’ll be times when you get older, when you’ll want to sleep with people, just to make them like you. But don’t!
有一天你们会长大，你们会想跟别人上床，只为搏得他们欢心，但不要这么做！
‘Cause…that’s another thing…that you don’t wanna do. Everybody! That’s another thing that you don’t wanna do.
因为……那是另一件……你不会想做的事。大家一起唱！那是另一件你不想做的事。
Excellent! Very informative! Not at all inappropriate!
太棒了！很有教育意义！一点也不会不合适呢！
Thank you for coming, everybody. There’re cookies in the back.
谢谢各位光临。后面有饼干。
That was great, the kids loved you.
真是棒透了，孩子们爱死你了。
Yea, I rock.
对呀，我酷毙了。
And you know why? Because you told the truth. Nobody ever tells kids the truth. You were incredible!
你知道为什么吗？因为你说实话。从来没有人对小孩子说实话。你真是了得。
But. How did you know there was a but?
但是…… 你怎么知道还有“但是…”？
I sense these things. It was either “but” or “butter.”
能感觉到。不是“但是”就是奉承话。
The thing is, I think some of the parents, they were kinda hoping that you’d play more songs about like, barnyard animals.
问题是，我觉得有些父母会希望你多唱一点农场动物那类的歌曲。
I can do that.
这个我办得到啊。
Really? Yeah!
真的？当然！
Because that would be fantastic. What? You wanna kiss me?
因为那样子会非常棒。怎么？你要亲我吗？
Thinking about it.
我正在考虑。
The bat. Ambassador of darkness. Flitting out of his cave like a winged messenger. Sightless specter of the macabre.
注释：flit：轻快地从一处到另一处，掠过。
注释：macabre：可怕的，恐怖的(尤指与死亡等相联系的)。
蝙蝠，黑暗世界的大使。像一只插翅的信差，冲出巢穴。死亡的无形幽灵。
Buddy, my monkey?
兄弟，我的猴子呢？
Oh, yeah, right. There was a breakin, few months back, inside job. Your monkey was taken.
哦，对了，几个月前这里被洗劫，内贼干的，你的猴子被偷了。
Oh my God. But the zoo told me that my monkey was dead.
我的天哪。可是动物园说我的猴子死了。
The zoo! Do you believe everything the zoo tells you?
动物园！你相信动物园告诉你的每件事？
That, that’s the only thing the zoo’s ever told me.
动物园只是告诉过我这一件事。
Of course they’re gonna say he’s dead. They don’t want the bad publicity. It’s all a great big coverup. Do you have any idea how high up this thing goes?
他们当然会说他死了。他们害怕消息传出去会不好看。他们掩饰得密不透风。你知道这件事情牵涉到多高层吗？
That guy Lipson?
那个利浦森先生？
Lipson knows?
利浦森先生知道？
Lipson knows, huh? Hello, Mr. Possum. Enigma of the trees, upsidedown denizen of the night. Taunting gravity. Buddy, my monkey. My monkey?
利浦森先生知道，是吗？你好，负鼠先生。树上的谜团，上下颠倒的夜之民。正在嘲弄着地心引力。兄弟，我的猴子呢？
Word on the street, well, when I say “street,” I mean those pretend streets here at the zoo. Of course.
道上传闻说，“道上”指的是园里的游园道路。当然了。
Your monkey found a new career, in the entertainment field. That’s all I know.
你的猴子有了新职业，往娱乐界发展去了。我只知道这些。
This is unbelievable.
真是令人难以置信。
So, what is this information worth to you, my friend?
好了，这个消息对你值多少钱啊，朋友？
Are you trying to get me to bribe you? Maybe.
你是暗示我要贿赂你吗？或许吧。
But you already told me everything.
可是你都已经告诉我了。

老友记.本章节注释

注释：flit：轻快地从一处到另一处，掠过。
注释：macabre：可怕的，恐怖的(尤指与死亡等相联系的)。