Friends Season 2 Episode 9 : The one With Phoebe’s Dad.

老友记第2季第9集: 菲比的爸爸。

Phoebe: Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh. Ugly Naked Guy is decorating his tree. Oh my God, you should see the size of his Christmas Balls.
丑陋裸男在装饰他的树。天啊，你该瞧瞧他圣诞球的大小！
Joey: Hey. – Chandler & Rachel: Hey.
嗨。-嗨。
Joey: Hey, how much did you guys tip the super this year?
你们今年给管理员多少红包？
Chandler: Yeah, we were gonna give fifty, but if you guys gave more, we don’t wanna look bad.
是啊，我们打算给50，不过我们不想显得比你们小器。
Monica: Oh, actually this year we just made him homemade cookies.
今年我们送他自己做的饼干。
Chandler: And twenty-five it is.
那就包25块好了。
Joey: You gave him cookies?
你们送他饼干？
Monica: Money is so impersonal. Cookies says someone really cares…All right, we’re broke, but cookies do say that.
给钱太见外了，饼干表示我们关心他。好吧，我们没钱，但饼干也能表达这个意思。
Phoebe: I can see that. A plate of brownies once told me a limerick.
我了解。曾有盘巧克力糕告诉我一首打油诗。
Chandler: Pheebs, let me ask you something, were, were these, uh, funny brownies?
菲比，请问你，那些是“搞笑的”巧克力糕吗？
Phoebe: Not especially. But you know what, I think they had pot in them.
并不特别啊。但我觉得里面有♥ 大♥ 麻♥ 。
Ross: So you guys, who else did you tip with cookies?
两位，你们还送了谁饼干？
Rachel: Uhh, the mailman, the super…
邮差，管理员…
Monica: Oh, and the newspaper delivery guy.
还有那个送报纸的。
Joey: Oh my God.
天哪。
Rachel: What?
怎么了？
Joey: Uhhh, I don’t think you’re gonna like this.
你们可能不会高兴看到这个。
Rachel: Ooh, gosh, ooh, these are cookies smashed in the sports section.
天哪，还有饼干糊在运动版呢。
Monica: Oh look, and he did my crossword puzzle.
看，在我的字谜那里也是。
Ross: Yeah, but not very well, unless 14-across, ‘Gershwin musical’ actually is bite me bite me bite me bite me.
对，但是错误百出，除非，横十四的“格什温音乐剧”，是叫“咬我，咬我，咬我”。
Joey: I can’t believe it’s Christmas already. You know, I mean, one day your eating turkey, the next thing ya know, your lords are a-leaping and you geese are a-laying.
真不敢相信圣诞节又到了。我们才刚吃完了感恩节火鸡，转眼呢，现在又到了圣人跳跃和呆鹅下蛋的圣诞节。
Chandler: Which is why geese are so relaxed this time of year.
所以每年的这个时候，鹅才会感觉到很轻松。
Ross: Hey guys. -All: Hey.
各位。-嗨。
Ross: Hey Rach. I, uh, got you a little present. I’ll open it.
瑞秋，我买了一个小礼物给你，我来拆。
Ross: It’s a Slinky! Remember, huh. Walks down stairs, alone or in pairs, everyone knows it’s…just a big spring. Alright, you’re still mad at me because of the whole…
是“机灵鬼”。记得吗？走下楼梯，单独或成双。大家都知道是，只是一个大弹簧。好吧，你还在生我的气，就为了…
Rachel: Horrible and degrading list of reasons not to be with me?
那张不跟我在一起的理由的可恶单子？
Ross: How about from now on we just call it the ‘unfortunate incident’? Hey Gunther, you got stairs in your place?
从现在起我们称那为“不幸的事件”怎么样？甘瑟，你家里有没有楼梯？
Gunther: Yeah.
有。
Ross: Here, go nuts.
去疯吧。
Ross: Hey guys. -All: Hey.
各位。-嗨。
Chandler: What’s in the bag?
袋子里有什么？
Ross: Um, just some presents.
只是些礼物啦。
Joey: Come on show us what you bought…You know you want to.
快拿出来瞧瞧啊。其实你很想的。
Ross: OK. OK, this is a picture frame from Ben to my parents, huh.
好吧，你们看，这是班送给我父母的相框。
Monica: Uh, that’s cute.
很可爱。
Ross: I got some, uh, hers and hers towels for Susan and Carol. And, uh, I got this blouse for mom.
“她的”跟“她的”毛巾，给苏珊跟卡萝。还有，买了这件衬衫给妈。
Monica: Ross, that is gorgeous! -Ross: Yeah?
罗斯，好漂亮！-有么？
Monica: Look at these authentic fake medals. I tell ya, mom’s gonna be voted best dressed at the make-believe military academy.
哦瞧瞧这些假徽章，妈妈会在假的军校里得到“最佳服装奖”。
Phoebe: Hey. -All: Hey. Hi Pheebs.
嗨。-嗨，菲比。
Phoebe: Happy Christmas Eve Eve. Oh my God, where did you get this?
圣诞前夕的前夕快乐。我的天哪，这哪儿来的？
Ross: Uh, Macy’s, third floor, home furnishings.
梅西百货三楼，家饰部。
Phoebe: This is my father, this is a picture of my dad.
这是我爸爸，这是我爸爸的照片。
Chandler: Nah, Pheebs, that’s the guy that comes in the frame.
菲比，那是相框附送的相片。
Phoebe: No it isn’t, this is my dad, all right, I’ll show you.
不，这是我爸爸，好，我拿给你们看。
Rachel: Phoebe, I thought your dad was in prison.
菲比，我以为你爸在牢里。
Phoebe: No, that’s my step-dad. My real dad’s the one that ran out on us before I was born.
不，那是我继父。我真正的爸，是我出生以前就跑了的那个。
Rachel: How have you never been on Oprah?
你怎么会没上过奥普拉的访谈啊？
Phoebe: OK, look, see, this is him. My mother gave me this picture before she died, same guy.
瞧，这就是他。我妈在死前给了我这张照片，同一个人。
Monica: Honey, uh, this is a picture of the frame guy posing in front of a bright blue screen with a collie.
这是一张相框模特儿跟一只牧羊犬站在浅蓝背景前的照片。
Phoebe: It’s not a blue screen…it’s just, maybe it was just really clear that day. OK, I have to talk to my Grandmother.
那不是蓝背景，那是，也许那天万里晴空吧，我得跟我外婆谈一谈。
Monica: Oh, wait a minute honey. -All: Phoebs.
等一下，菲比。-菲比。
Joey: So anyway, I’m trying to get my boss’s ex-wife to sleep with me…
我在设法弄我老板的前任老婆上床…
All: Joey!
乔伊！
Joey: Oh, but when Phoebe has a problem, everyone’s all ears!
菲比有问题时大家都洗耳恭听！
Grandmother: Esther Livingston. Gone.
艾斯特·利文斯顿死了。
Grandmother: Hi, Phoe.
嗨，小熊。
Phoebe: Hi Gram. Whatcha doing?
外婆，你在干嘛？
Grandmother: Oh, just updating the phonebook.
我在更新电话簿。
Phoebe: Um, Gram, um, can I see the pictures of my dad again?
外婆？我可以再看一次，我爸的照片吗？
Grandmother: Oh. Oh, sure, sure, uh, uh, how come?
当然，当然了为什么？
Phoebe: Just, you know, to see…um.
我只是突然想看一看…
Grandmother: Oh, sure, yeah. This is the one of you father in a meadow, and, uh, helping a little boy fly a kite, and here he is at a graduation…another graduation…another graduation.
好，来。这是你爸站在草地上的照片，他…帮一个小男孩放风筝。这一张是他的毕业典礼，再一张的毕业典礼，再来一张毕业典礼。
Phoebe: OK, is this really my father?
他真的是我爸爸吗？
Grandmother: Is it really your fa–I can’t…well of course it is.
他真的是你爸…？天哪，他当然是。
Phoebe: I smell smoke. Maybe that’s ’cause someone’s pants are on fire.
我闻到烟味了，也许是因为有人的裤子着火了。（说谎）
Grandmother: Look, I…
这…
Phoebe: You know, in all the years that we have been grandmather and granddaughter, you have never lied to me.
我们两个当祖孙这么多年了…你从没有对我撒过谎。
Grandmother: All right, that is not your father, that’s just a picture of a guy in a frame.
好吧，他不是你爸爸，他只是一个相框里的男人。
Phoebe: Oh God.
天啊。
Grandmother: It was your mother’s idea.
那是你♥ 妈♥ 的♥ 主意。
Grandmother: You know, she didn’t want you to know your real father because it hurt her so much when he left, and, I didn’t wanna go along with it, but, well then she died and-and it was harder to argue with her.
她不想让你知道谁是你爸…因为他的离去让你妈很伤心。我本来也不想跟着她骗你，可是她死了，那样跟她争辩就太难了。
Grandmother: Not impossible, but harder.
不是不可能，只是更难。
Phoebe: All right, so, what, he’s not a famous tree surgeon? And then, I guess, OK, he doesn’t live in a hut in Burma where there’s no phones?
那他不是一个有名的树医啰？他也不住在，没有电话的缅甸茅屋里头啰？
Grandmother: Last I heard, he was a pharmacist somewhere upstate.
我听说他在纽约州，某个地方当药剂师。
Phoebe: OK, that makes no sense. Why would the villagers worship a pharmacist?
那没有道理，村民干嘛去崇拜一个，药剂师呢？
Grandmother: Honey.
亲爱的。
Phoebe: Oh, yeah.
恩。
Grandmother: Anyway, that’s all I know. That, and this.
反正呢，我所知道的就这么多。还有…跟这个。
Grandmother: This is the real him.
这…是真正的他了。
Phoebe: Oh.
哦。