Chandler: My diary! My diary! That’s Brilliant!
我的日记！我的日记！太聪明了！
Chandler: I should have told her it was my diary, she never wouldn’t have made me read her my diary.
我应该说那是我的日记，她绝对不会逼我念我的日记。
Monica: You know, that’s true. You’d be a great person to have around the day after an emergency.
那倒是真的，你很适合在紧急事件发生的第二天放马后炮。
Phoebe: I cannot believe Ross even made this list. -Monica: I know. -Phoebe: What a dinkus!
注释：dinkus：俚语，指行为很愚蠢的人。
真不敢相信罗斯列了单子。-我知道。-简直愚蠢。
Joey: Hey, cut him some slack. It was Chandler’s idea.
放他一马吧，那是钱德的主意。
Monica: What? -Phoebe: What?
什么？-什么？
Chandler: Oh, good. I was hoping that would come up.
很好，我正在希望你提呢。
Monica: This was your idea? -Chandler: All right. Let’s get some perspective here. Okay? These things, they happen for a reason.
这是你的主意？-拜托，你们想一下事出必有因。
Monica: Yeah. You!
对，是你呀。
Chandler: All right. Pheebs, back me up here, okay? You believe in that karma crap, don’t you?
菲比，帮我一下，好吗？你相信那狗屁因果报应，对吧？
Phoebe: By the way, good luck in your next life as a dung beetle.
对，祝你下辈子当粪虫好运。
Ross: Rach! Hey! Open up! Please?
瑞秋。瑞秋，瑞秋，开门。
Rachel: When somebody does not buzz you in, Ross, that means,”Go away.” It doesn’t mean,”Please climb up the fire escape.”
当别人不开门让你进来的时候，那表示“走开”，那并不表示请你爬防火梯上来。
Ross: I just want to read you something, it’s your “Pro List.” -Rachel: Not interested.
我只是想念一点你的优点给你听。-我不感兴趣。
Ross: Okay, okay. “Number one: the way you cry at game shows.
第一，你看游戏节目时会哭。
Ross: Number two: how much you love your friends.
第二，你对朋友的感情很深。
Ross: Number three: the way you play with your hair when you’re nervous.
第三，你紧张的时候玩你头发的样子。
Ross: Number four: how brave you are for starting your life over.
第四，勇敢地开始你的新生活。
Ross: Number five: how great you are with Ben.
第五，你和小本相处得很好。
Ross: Number six: the way you smell.”
第六，还有你的香味。
Joey: Hey, Ross. What are you doing?
罗斯，你在干什么？
Ross: Hey, Joey. You want to open the window? -Joey: Oh, yeah.
乔伊，帮我开窗，好不好？-好呀，来。
Chandler: What are you doing out there? -Ross: I’m….
你在外面干什么？-我……我……
Monica: Oh my gosh. You must be freezing. You know what you need? How about a nice, steaming cup of hot Macholate?
天啊，你一定冷死了，知道你需要什么吗？来杯热腾腾的麻克力怎么样？
Ross: Rach. Come on, open up. Rach, come on, come on. You gotta give me another chance. -Rachel: No.
瑞秋，开门。瑞秋，别这样嘛，你再给我一次机会 -不。
Ross: No? -Rachel: That’s what I said.
不？-我说不。
Chandler: Maybe we should go. -Rachel: No. You guys, you really don’t have to go. We’re done talking.
也许我们该离开一下。-不，你们真的不用走，我们已经谈完了。
Ross: Rach, come on, I know how you must…-Rachel: No! You don’t, Ross.
拜托，我知道你一定…… -不，你别说了，罗斯。
Rachel: Imagine the worst things you think about yourself.
想像一下你觉得自己最糟的地方。
Rachel: Now how would you feel if the one person you trusted the most in the world not only thinks them too…but actually uses them as reasons not to be with you.
如果这个世界上你最信任的人也这样想……而且用来当做不跟你在一起的理由，换了你会怎么样？
Ross: No, but, but, see, I wanna be with you in spite of all those things.
不，但是，但是，听着，就算是那样，我还是想要跟你在一起。
Rachel: Oh, well, that’s mighty big of you. Ross. I said, don’t go!
你真是宽宏大量，罗斯。我说了别走。
Ross: You know what? You know what? If things were the other way around, there is nothing you could put on a list that would ever make me not wanna be with you.
你知道吗？如果今天是你列单子……不管你在单子上头写些什么都阻止不了我跟你在一起。
Rachel: Well, then I guess that’s the difference between us. See, I’d never make a list.
我猜我们就是那一点不同，我绝对不会去列单子。
Joey: I never know how long you’re supposed to wait in this type of a situation before you can talk again. Yon know? Maybe a little longer.
每一次遇上这种情况我都不知道要等多久才能开口。我再等一会儿好了。
Monica: Now in some of these recipes, the quantities may seem just a little unusual. Like these coconut Macholate holiday nut bars?
我其中的一些食谱用的麻克力份量或许有点不寻常。像这个椰子麻克力节日干果棒。
Monica: I’ve indicated four cups of coconut and four cups of crushed nuts and only one tablespoon of Macholate.
我上面写了四杯椰子，四杯碎干果，而只有一大匙的麻克力。
Mr. Rastatter: Doesn’t matter. -Monica: What?
没关系。-什么？
Mr. Rastatter: Our FDA approval didn’t come through. Something about laboratory rats.
我们的食品药物管理局执照没有通过。实验室老鼠出了问题。
Monica: Gosh, I’m sorry. -Mr. Rastatter: Yeah. Well. Anyhoo, here’s your check.
天啊，真遗撼。-是呀，好吧，这是给你的支票。
Mr. Rastatter: Thank you for all the trouble you went through.
还有谢谢你出了这么多力。
Mr. Rastatter: Listen, you didn’t eat a lot of it while you were cooking, did you? -Monica: Well, I ate some.
你做的时候没有吃很多吧？-我吃了一些。
Mr. Rastatter: Oh, that’s fine, some is fine. Some is not a lot. -Monica: Okay…
一些，那还好，一些可以，一些不是很多。-好吧。
Mr. Rastatter: So it doesn’t burn when you pee, does it?
那你尿尿的时候没有灼痛的感觉吧？
Monica: Hello? -Ross: Hi…
你好？-嗨……
Rachel: Is that him again? Tell him I’d come to the phone, but my ankles are weighing me down.
又是他吗？告诉他我很想去接，可是我脚踝太粗走不动。
Monica: Listen, I don’t think this is the best time.
我想现在时机不对。
Ross: Look, can, can you do something for me? –Monica: Sure. What?… Okay… All right.
你帮我一个忙，好不好？-当然，什么事？好的。
Monica: Music? -Rachel: Sure.
要听音乐吗？-好吧。
Radio: The next one’s dedicated to Rachel from Ross.
下一首是罗斯要点给瑞秋的歌曲。
Radio: Rachel, he wants you to know he’s deeply sorry for what he did, and he hopes you can find it in your heart to forgive him.
瑞秋，他要你知道他为他的行为深感抱歉，希望你能从心里原谅他。
Music: See the stones set in your eyes. See the thorn twist in your side. I’ll wait for you.
看到你眼若冰霜。看到你浑身带刺。我会等你。
Sleight of hand and twist of fate. On a bed of nails she makes me wait. And I’ll wait without you…
造化弄人，命运纠缠。因为她，我辗转难眠。我一直等，哪怕没有你在……
Radio: Uh, we’ve just gotten a call from Rachel and she told us what Ross did. It’s pretty appalling. And, Ross, if you’re listening, I don’t want to play your song anymore.
我们刚接到瑞秋的电话，她告诉我们罗斯做了什么。真令人发指，罗斯，如果你在听……我不想再放你点的歌了。
Radio: Why don’t we devote our time to a couple that stands a chance? Avery, Michelle’s sorry she hit you with her car, and she hopes you two will work it out.
我们何不将时间留给还有机会的情侣。艾佛，米雪很抱歉用她的车撞你，她希望你们能够解决问题。
Music: There’s a room where I can go. And tell my secrets to. In my room. In my room…
我有个房间可以去，倾吐心中的秘密。在我房里。在我房里……
Mr. Rastatter: Hi. Thanks for coming in again. -Monica: Not at all. I have no morals and I need the cash.
谢谢你再度光临。-不客气，我既无道德又需要钱。
Mr. Rastatter: It’s like I’m looking in a mirror. Anyway, they’re called Fish-tachios.
就像我在照镜子一样。这个东西叫做开心鱼。
Mr. Rastatter: They taste exactly like pistachios, but they’re made primarily of reconstituted fish bits.
注释：pistachios：开心果。
吃起来是跟开心果一样的，但主要是用鱼肉重新压制的。
Mr. Rastatter: Here, try one.
来，试试看。
Monica: All right. -Mr. Rastatter: You’re not allergic to anything? Are you?
好吧 -你没有什么过敏问题吧？
Monica: Cat hair. -Mr. Rastatter: Oh, sorry.
猫毛。-噢，抱歉。

老友记.本章节注释

注释：dinkus：俚语，指行为很愚蠢的人。
注释：pistachios：开心果。