Friends Season 2 Episode 5 : The one With Five steaks and an Eggplant.

老友记第2季第5集: 五块牛排和一根茄子。

Ross: Man, I sure miss Julie.
我真的好想念茱莉。
Chandler: Spanish midgets. Spanish midgets wrestling. Julie. Ok, yes, I see how you got there.
西班牙侏儒，西班牙侏儒摔跤…茱莉！哈，我明白你是怎么想到她的了。
Ross: You ever figure out what that thing’s for?
你有想过那玩意儿是用来做什么的吗？
Chandler: No, see, I’m trying this new screening thing. You know, I figure if I’m always answering the phone, people’ll think I don’t have a life. My God, Rodrigo never gets pinned.
啊！我在过滤电话。如果我老是去接，别人会以为我没有自己的生活。老天啊，罗德里格真是西方不败。
Machine: Comes the beep, you know what to do.
听到哔声后，请留言。
Woman’s Voice: Hello, I’m looking for Bob. This is Jade.
我要找鲍勃。我是珍德。
Woman’s Voice: I don’t know if you’re still at this number, but I was just thinking about us, and how great it was, and, well, I know it’s been three years, but, I was kinda hoping we could hook up again.
我不知道你是否还使用这个号码，不过我不断在想…我们过去那段美好的时光。我知道都已经三年了…可是我希望我们能够重修旧好。
Woman’s Voice: You know, I barely had the nerve to make this call, so, you know what I did?
你知道吗，我差点提不起勇气打这通电话…所以，你知道我在干嘛吗？
Chandler: What?
在干嘛？
Jade: I got a little drunk…and naked.
我喝得醉醺醺…还一♥丝不♥挂。
Chandler: Bob here.
我是鲍勃。
Chandler: So uh, what’ve you been up to?
最近都在干啥呢？
Jade: Oh, you know, the usual, teaching aerobics, partying way too much. Oh, and in case you were wondering, those are my legs on the new James Bond poster.
你知道的，跟平常一样啊。教有氧舞蹈…玩得太疯狂。如果你想知道的话…新007电影海报上那双腿，是我的。
Chandler: Can you hold on a moment? I have another call. I love her.
请等一下，我有电话进来了。我爱她！
Ross: I know.
我知道。
Chandler: I’m back.
我回来了。
Jade: So, are we gonna get together or what?
那我们到底要不要聚一聚啊？
Chandler: Um, absolutely. Uh, how about tomorrow afternoon? Do you know uh, Central Perk in the Village, say, five-ish?
当然了。明天下午怎么样？你知道中央公园咖啡厅吗？五点钟左右见？
Jade: Great, I’ll see you then.
太棒了，到时候见。
Chandler: OK. OK. Having a phone has finally paid off.
好的。好！我装上这个电话，终于物有所值了。
Ross: Even though you do do a good Bob impression, I’m thinking when she sees you tomorrow, she may realize that, “Hey, you’re not Bob.”
你装鲍勃装的真的很像，我只是在想，明天她看见你的时候，她就会意识到：“嘿，你不是鲍勃。”
Chandler: I am hoping when Bob doesn’t show up, she will seek comfort in the open arms of the wry stranger at the next table.
注释：wry：啼笑皆非的; 挖苦的; 讽刺的; 揶揄的。
我只希望当明天鲍勃没有出现的时候，她会投入邻桌爱讽刺人的陌生人怀抱寻找安慰。
Ross: Oh my God. You are pure evil.
老天，你真是邪恶到家。
Chandler: Ok, pure evil, horny and alone. I’ve done this…
邪恶到家…饥渴兼孤单…这我都试过了。
Ross: Yeah, yeah, everybody’s here. Hey, everybody, say hi to Julie in New Mexico.
耶，耶，各位，跟在新墨西哥州的茱莉打声招呼吧。
All: Hi, Julie! -Rachel: Hi, Julie.
嗨，茱莉…
Chandler: OK, while Ross is on the phone, everybody owes me 62 bucks for his birthday.
好，趁罗斯在讲电话，每人缴62块庆祝他的生日。
Phoebe: Um, is, is there any chance that you’re rounding up? You know, like from, like 20?
你可不可以将就一下…譬如说…每个人缴20块就好了。
Chandler: Hey, come on, we got the gift, the concert, and the cake.
拜托，要有礼物，演唱会，还有蛋糕。
Joey: Do we need a cake?
我们还需要一个蛋糕？
Chandler: Look guys, I know it’s a little steep. -Rachel: Yeah, whoosh!
各位，我知道这数目有一点高（有“大起大落”的意思）。
Chandler: But it’s Ross.
不过这可是罗斯的生日呀。
All: Yeah. Alright, it’s Ross. I know, I know. –
哦，对，是罗斯啊。
Chandler: OK, I’ll see you guys later, I gotta go…do a thing.
好了，咱们待会儿见。我还得去…做一件事。
Ross: OK, sweetheart, I’ll call you later tonight. Whoa, whoa, whoa, hey, hey, you’re not really gonna go through with this, are you?
好了，甜心，我晚上再打给你。嘿，你不是真的要那么做吧？
Chandler: You know, I think I might just.
老兄我非做不可。
Rachel: So uh, what’re you guys doing for dinner tonight?
你们晚上吃什么？
Joey: Well I guess I gotta start saving up for Ross’s birthday, so I guess I’ll just stay home and eat dust bunnies.
我要开始为罗斯的生日存钱了，我想我就待在家喝西北风吧。
Phoebe: Can you believe how much this is gonna cost?
你们能想象这要花多少钱啊？
Rachel: Do you guys ever get the feeling that um, Chandler and those guys just don’t get that we don’t make as much money as they do?
你们有时候会不会觉得…钱德，他们…根本不明白，我们赚的钱没他们多。
Joey: Yes! Yeah, it’s like they’re always saying “let’s go here, let’s go there”. Like we can afford to go here and there.
是，是的，他们总是说“咱们去这儿，去那儿”，好像我们能负担得起。去这里去那里似的。
Phoebe: Yes, yes, and it’s, and we always have to go to, you know, some place nice, you know?
是的，而且我们总是得去“好地方”。
Phoebe: God, it’s not like we can say anything about it, ’cause, like this, a birthday thing, you know, and it’s for Ross.
老天，我们都不能有一点反驳，因为这是庆祝生日啊，而且是罗斯的生日。
Joey & Rachel: For Ross…For Ross…Ross…Ross…Ross…
为了罗斯…
Monica: Oh my God.
噢，老天。
Phoebe&Joey: Hey! What?
嘿！怎么了？
Monica: Ok, I’m at work, it’s an ordinary day, you know, chop chop chop, sauté, sauté, sauté.
我在上班…很平常的一天，你们知道的，切切切，炒炒炒。
Monica: All the sudden, Leon, the manager, calls me into his office. turns out they fired the head lunch chef, and guess who got the job.
突然间，里昂，那个经理，叫我去他的办公室。结果是他们炒了午餐大厨，猜猜看谁得到了这份工作？
Joey: If it’s not you, this is a horrible story.
如果不是你的话，这可是个糟透的故事。
Monica: Fortunately, it is me.
幸好，那个人是我。
Rachel: Oh! -Monica: And they made me head of purchasing, thank you very much! –
哦！-他们还升我为采购主任，非常谢谢。太棒了！
All: Hey hey! -Rachel: That’s so cool!
嗨！-太棒啦！
Monica: Anyway, I just ran into Chandler and Ross downstairs, and they think we should go out and celebrate. You know, some place nice.
不管怎样，我刚下楼去罗斯和钱德那里，他们认为我们应该出去庆祝一下，去个“好地方”。
Joey: Yeah, some place nice. -Rachel: Yeah!
去个好地方。-对！
Joey: How much do you think I can get for my kidney?
你们想我的肾能够卖多少钱？
Ross: I’m telling you, You can’t do this.
说真的，你不能这么做。
Chandler: Oh, come on. I can never get a girl like that with conventional methods.
少来了，拘泥于传统方法，我永远把不到那种女孩。
Ross: That doesn’t matter. She wanted to call Bob. Hey, for all we know, Bob is who she was meant to be with. You may be destroying two people’s chance for happiness.
那有什么关系呢？她要找的是鲍勃，鲍勃一定是她理想的对象。你这么做，或许会毁了两个人快乐的机会。
Chandler: We don’t know Bob! OK? We know me. We like me. Please let me be happy.
我们不认识鲍勃，我们认识我，我们喜欢我。拜托，让我快乐吧。
Ross: Go over there and tell that woman the truth.
你过去告诉那个女人实话。
Chandler: All right.
好吧。
Ross: Go.
去啊。
Chandler: Hi. – Jade: Hi.
嗨。-嗨。
Chandler: Listen, I have to, uh, um, I have to, I have to confess something.
我要…我要跟你坦白一件事。
Jade: Yes?
什么事？
Chandler: Whoever stood you up is a jerk.
放你鸽子的人是个混♥蛋。
Jade: How did you…
你怎么会…
Chandler: I don’t know. I just had this weird sense. You know, but that’s me. I’m weird and sensitive. Tissue?
我不知道。我就是有这种怪怪的感应。我就这样，怪怪的又敏感。面纸？
Jade: Thanks.
谢谢。
Chandler: No, you keep the pack. I’m all cried out today.
不用，你整包留着吧。我今天的眼泪已经哭干了。

老友记.本章节注释

注释：wry：啼笑皆非的; 挖苦的; 讽刺的; 揶揄的。