Chandler: Hey, look at this. “My Big Book of Grievances.”
看看这个！我的痛苦之书。
Joey: Hey, there’s me! April 17th. Excessive noise. Italian guy comes homes with a date. Hey Chandler, look, you’re in here too.
嘿，这是我！四月十七日，噪音过度…意大利佬带了女伴回家。也提到你了。
Chandler: April 18th, excessive noise. Italian guy’s gay roommate brings home dry-cleaning.
四月十八日，噪音过度…意大利佬的同性恋室友，带了干洗衣服回家。
Chandler: Well that’s excellent.
真是太好了。
Rachel: Monica, Monica, look at this lamp. Is this tacky or what? We have to have this.
看看这盏灯真是够俗了，我们一定要带回去！
Monica: Rach, I think we have enough regular lamps.
我们有足够的正常台灯了。
Rachel: What? Come on, it’s not like, it’s not like I’m asking for this girlie clock or anything, which, by the way, I also think is very cool.
什么？好啦，我又不是…要这个美女时钟或什么的，但我觉得这个也很酷。
Monica: It doesn’t go with any of my stuff.
听着，它与我的东西都不搭配。
Rachel: Well, what about my stuff?
那么我的东西呢？
Monica: You don’t have any stuff.
你没有任何东西。
Rachel: You still think of it as your apartment, don’t you?
你还是认为那是你的公寓，对不对？
Monica: Mmmm….no!
不。
Rachel: Yes you do. You think of it as your apartment, and I’m just someone who rents a room.
对，你是这么想。你把它想成是你的公寓，我只是租了个房间。
Monica: Mmmmm.
嗯…
Rachel: OK, while you “mmm” on that for awhile, I’m gonna go find a place for my new lamp.
你支支吾吾的时候，我会为我的新台灯找个地方放。
Ross: OK, Pheebs. See how I’m making these little toys move? Opposable thumbs. Without evolution, how do you explain opposable thumbs?
菲比。看我玩这些小玩具可对立的拇指！没有进化论，怎么发展出可对立的拇指？
Phoebe: Maybe the overlords needed them to steer their spacecrafts.
也许外星主宰需要这样的拇指才能够驾驶空间飞船。
Ross: Please tell me you’re joking.
请说你是在开玩笑。
Phoebe: Look, can’t we just say that you believe in something, and I don’t.
能不能说你相信进化论，而我不相信？
Ross: No, no, no, Pheebs, we can’t!
不行，菲比，我们不行！
Phoebe: Why not? What is this obsessive need you have to make everyone agree with you?
为什么不行？为什么非得强迫每个人都同意你？
Phoebe: No, what’s that all about? You know what I think, I think maybe it’s time you put Ross under the microscope.
到底是为什么？我想也许是把罗斯放到显微镜下面好好看看的时候了。
Ross: Is there blood coming out of my ears?
我耳朵有没有流血？
Joey: Check it out, check it out. Heckles’ high school yearbook.
看看这个，哈克的高中同学录。
Chandler: Wow, he looks so normal.
他看起来好正常！
Phoebe: He’s even kinda cute.
甚至有点可爱。
Joey:”Heckles, you crack me up in science class. You’re the funniest kid in school.”
“哈克，你上科学课总是让我捧腹大笑。”，“你是全校最有趣的学生。”
Chandler: Funniest? Heckles?
最有趣？哈克？
Joey: That’s what it says.
上面是这样写的。
Chandler: Wow, Heckles was voted class clown, and so was I.He was right. Would you listen to that?
哈克被选为班上的活宝，我也是他说得对！听听那个噪音？
Phoebe: I’d call that excessive.
我会觉得的确是很吵闹。
Chandler: Whoa!
什么？
Joey: What?
怎么了？
Chandler: Heckles played clarinet in band, and I played clarinet. And he was in the scale modeler’s club, and I was, well, there was no club, but I sure thought they were cool.
哈克在乐队演奏竖笛，我也是。他参加模型俱乐部，我也…虽然我的学校没有俱乐部，但我觉得模型很酷。
Joey: So, you were both dorks. Big deal.
所以你们两个都是书呆子，没什么值得大惊小怪。
Chandler: I just think it’s weird, you know? Heckles and me, Heckles, and me, me, me and Heckles…Hey, would you knock it off?
我觉得很怪，哈克与我…哈克与我，我…我与哈克。喂，别吵好不好！
Chandler: Bah!
嘣！
Joey: Have you been here all night?
你整晚都在这里？
Chandler: Look at this. Pictures of all the women that Heckles went out with. Look what he wrote on them.
看看这个，哈克交往过的女人照片。看看他在上面写的。
Chandler: Vivian, too tall. Madge, big gums. Too loud, too smart, makes noise when she eats. This is, this is me. This is what I do. I’m gonna end up alone, just like he did.
“薇安，太高大”，“玛姬，牙龈太大”，“太大声”，“太聪明”，“吃东西发出声音”这就是我。这就是我的作法，我会像他一样孤独终老。
Joey: Chandler, Heckles was a nutcase.
哈克是个神经病。
Chandler: Our trains are on the same track, OK? Yeah, sure, I’m coming up 30 years behind him, but the stops are all the same. Bitter Town. Aloneville. Hermit Junction.
我们的思考方式一样。我比他晚了30年，但每一站都是一样愁苦城…孤独镇，隐士村！
Joey: All right, you know what we gotta do? We gotta get you outta here. Come on, I’ll buy you breakfast, let’s go.
你知道我们该怎么办么？我们应该离开这里，我请你吃早餐。
Chandler: What if I never find somebody? Or even worse, what if I’ve found her, but I dumped her because she pronounced it ‘supposably?‘
注释：supposably：suppose与probably的错误混合用法。
要是我一直找不到伴侣怎么办？或更糟的，我已经找到了…但我却因为她把“或许”说成“厚许”就甩了她？
Joey: Chandler, come on, you’re gonna find somebody.
钱德，好啦，你会找到对象的。
Chandler: How do you know that? How?
你怎么知道？怎么找？
Joey: I don’t know, I’m just trying to help you out.
我不知道，我只是想帮你下台。
Chandler: You’ll see, you guys are all gonna go off and get married, and I’m gonna end up alone.
你们将来都会结婚…我会孤独一人。
Chandler: Will you promise me something? When you’re married, will you invite me over for holidays?
你能不能答应我一件事？你结婚后，过节时能不能请我去玩？
Joey: Well, I don’t know. I don’t know what we’re gonna be doing. I mean, what if we’re over her folks’ place?
我不知道，我们会怎么样。要是我们到她的父母那里过节呢？
Chandler: Yeah, I understand.
好吧，我了解。
Joey: You can come over and watch the Super Bowl. Every year, all right?
你可以过来看超级杯，每一年都来，怎么样？
Chandler: You know what? I’m not gonna end up like this. I’ll see you man.
我不要像这样子下场！待会见，兄弟。
Joey: Supposably. Supposably. Did they go to the zoo? Supposably.
“厚许”…“厚许”！他们去动物园了吗？“厚许”吧…
Chandler: Hi, it’s me.
嗨，是我。
Janice: Oh, my, God.
我的天！
Phoebe: Janice? You called Janice?
珍妮丝？你打给珍妮丝？
Chandler: Yes, Janice. Why is that so difficult for you to comprehend?
是的，珍妮丝有什么难懂的？
Ross: You remember Janice, right?
你还记得珍妮丝吧？
Chandler: Yes. She was smart, she was pretty, and she honestly cared about me. Janice is my last chance to have somebody.
是啊，她很聪明，很漂亮，而且很关心我。珍妮丝是我的最后一个希望。
Janice: Helloo! !
你好！
Chandler: Oh…my…God!
喔，天啊！
Joey: Geez, look how fat she got.
她真是胖了不少。
Janice: Hey, it’s everybody.
嗨，大家都在这里！
ALL: Hi, Janice.
嗨，珍妮丝。
Chandler: Janice, you’re…
珍妮丝，你…
Janice: Yes, I am.
是的，我有了。
Chandler: Is it…
是不是…
Janice: Is it yours? Ha! You wish, Chandler Bing. You are looking at a married lady now.
是不是你的？没那么好的事，钱德宾！我已经是已婚女士了。
Everyone: Oh, yeah.
太好了。
Chandler: Congratulations.
恭喜。
Janice: Oh, sweetie, I’m sorry. I couldn’t wait for you forever.
亲爱的，真抱歉，我不可能等你一辈子。
Chandler: You couldn’t’ve told me about this over the phone?
你不能在电话上告诉我吗？
Janice: And what? Missed the expression on your face? Oh no, Janice likes to have her fun.
要我错过看到你的表情？才不要！珍妮丝喜欢乐子！
Monica: Hey, Rach. You know what we haven’t played in a while? – Rachel: What?
你知道我们很久没玩什么吗？-什么？
Monica: Hide the Lamp.
藏起台灯。
Rachel: Monica, let it go.
莫妮卡，算了吧。
Monica: Did you know I was allergic to shellfish?
你知道我对贝类过敏吗？
Rachel: Well, then, you’ll just have to eat the other lamps.
看来你只能吃其他台灯了。

老友记.本章节注释

注释：supposably：suppose与probably的错误混合用法。