Friends Season 1 Episode 19 : The one with the Evil Orthodontist.

老友记第1季第19集: 风流牙医。

Chandler: I can’t believe you would actually say that. I would much rather be Mr. Peanut than Mr. Salty.
我真不敢相信你会这么说，我是花生先生而非咸味先生。
Joey: No way! Mr. Salty is a sailor, all right, he’s got to be, like, the toughest snack there is.
才怪，盐先生是个水手，他应该是最顽强的点心。
Ross: I don’t know, you don’t wanna mess with corn nuts. They’re crazy!
我不知道，你不会想和谷物坚果作对的。他们是疯子。
Monica: Oh my God. You guys! You gotta come see this! There’s some creep out there with a telescope!
上帝呀！你们快看！有一个讨厌鬼拿着望远镜。
Ross: I can’t believe it! He’s looking right at us!
我真不敢相信他在看我们。
Rachel: Oh, that is so sick.
真呕心。
Chandler: I feel violated. And not in a good way.
我感觉被冒犯了，而且是以很不爽的方式。
Phoebe: How can people do that? Oh, you guys, look! Ugly Naked Guy got gravity boots!
怎会有人这样？你们看，丑陋裸男有双重力鞋。
Chandler: I am telling you, years from now, schoolchildren will study it as one of the greatest first dates of all time.
告诉你们，几年后学童将会把它奉为第一次约会的经♥典加以研读。
Phoebe: Yeah.
是的。
Chandler: I’ll say yeah. It was unbelievable! We could totally be ourselves; we didn’t have to play any games.
要我说，是的。它太令人无法置信，我们可以完全作自己，无须再玩任何游戏。
Monica: So have you called her yet?
你打过电话给她没？
Chandler: Let her know I like her? What are you, insane?
让她知道我喜欢她？你这是怎么了？疯了？
All: Guys. It’s gross.
男人啊，这太恶心了。
Chandler: It’s the next day! How needy do I want to seem? I’m right, right?
这才第二天你要我显得有多饥渴？我没错，对吧？
Joey and Ross: Oh, yeah. Yeah. Let her dangle.
对，让她慢慢等吧。
Monica: I can’t believe my parents are actually pressuring me to find one of you people.
我无法相信我爸妈强迫我找你们这种男人。
Phoebe: Oh, God, come on, just do it! Call her! Stop being so testosteroney!
注释：testosteroney:testosterone睾酮; 睾丸素（男性荷尔蒙的一种）。Phoebe 是用很形象的方式告诉 Chandler 别老那么大男子主义。
哦，天呐，赶紧行动！打电话给她，别摆出一付臭男人的样子。
Chandler: Which, by the way, is the real San Francisco treat. I got her machine.
这个，顺便说一下，旧金山真有这道菜。是她的电话答录机。
Joey: Her answer machine?
她的答录机？
Chandler: No, interestingly enough her leaf blower picked up.
不，真有意思，是落叶清扫机。
Phoebe: So, uh, why didn’t you say anything?
你为何不说话？
Chandler: Oh, nononono. Last time I left a spontaneous message I ended up using the phrase “Yes indeedo.”
噢，不不不不，上次我想给她留个自然的留言时，结果说了“是的，的确滴哦”。
Monica: Look! It’s Rachel and Barry. No, don’t everybody look at once!
看，是Rachel和Barry不，别一起看。
Ross: Okay, okay, what’s going on?
好的，好的，怎么了？
Phoebe: Okay, they’re just talking.
他们只是在讲话。
Ross: Yeah, well, does he look upset? Does he look like he was just told to shove anything?
注释：shove：猛推。
是吗？他是否神情落寞？他是否像要推开一切的样子？
Phoebe: No, no actually, he’s smiling…And… Oh my God, don’t do that! !
没有，实际上他正在微笑。我的老天，不要那样干！
Ross: What? What? What? !
怎么了？怎么了？怎么啦！
Phoebe: That man across the street just kicked that pigeon!
对街的男人踢了一只鸽子。
Chandler: And basically, that’s how a bill becomes a law.
这就是法案成为法律的原因。
Chandler: Hey Rach!
你好，Rach。
Monica: How did it go?
情况如何？
Rachel: You know, it was, uh… it was actually really great.
你知道，实际上非常好。
Rachel: He took me to lunch at the Russian Tea Room, and I had that chicken, where you know you poke it and all the butter squirts out…
他带我到俄国茶室吃饭，我点了那种鸡肉，一刺就有奶油啧出来的那种。
Phoebe: Not a good day for birds…
今天真不是鸟儿的好日子。
Rachel: Then we took a walk down to Bendall’s, and I told him not to, but he got me a little bottle of Chanel.
然后我们去精品店，我告诉他不要，他还是买了一小瓶香奈儿给我。
Ross: That’s nice…now, was that before or after you told him to stop calling, stop sending you flowers and to generally leave you alone, hmm?
真体贴。是在你跟他说之前还是之后送的，叫他别再打电话来，别再送你花，别再来烦你，嗯？
Rachel: Right, well, we never actually got to that… Oh, it was just so nice to see him again, you know? It was comfortable, it was familiar…it was just nice!
好吧，实际上我们没有到那一步……能再见到他的感觉真好，你们知道吗？感觉是那么自在而熟悉，感觉很好！
Ross: That’s, that’s nice twice!
你已讲了两遍很好！
Monica: Rachel, what’s going on? I mean isn’t this the same Barry who you left at the altar?
Rachel，你是怎么了？他不是在圣坛前被你甩掉的Barry吗？
Joey: Duh, where have you been?
废话，你上哪儿去了？
Rachel: Yeah, but it was different with him today! I mean he wasn’t, like, Orthodontist Guy, you know? I mean, we had fun! Is there anything wrong with that?
是啊，但是今天和他在一起感觉不同，我的意思是他今天不像是牙医，我们玩得很开心，这样有什么不对吗？
Chandler: Yes!
是的！
Rachel: Why?
为什么？
Chandler: I have my reasons.
我有我的理由。
Monica: Okay, how about the fact that he’s engaged to another woman, who just happens to be your ex-best friend?
好吧，这个事实怎么样：他跟另一个女人订婚了，而这个人正好是你的前好友？
Rachel: All right. All right, all right, all right, all right, I know it’s stupid! I will go see him this afternoon, and I will just put an end to it!
好吧，好吧，好吧，好吧，我知道这样做很傻。我下午去找他，把这事了结了。
Rachel: Wow…Wow!
喔！
Barry: Yeah.
耶。
Rachel: I’m not crazy, right? I mean, it was never like that.
我不疯狂吧？我的意思是，我从未像这样过。
Barry: No, it wasn’t.
是的，没有。
Rachel: Ooh, and it’s so nice having this little sink here…
这儿有个小水槽真好。
Chandler: Then with authority, hang up.
带着权威，挂断电话。
Ross: Will you just leave her the message already?
你赶快给她留言好不？
Chandler: OK, all right, fine. Oh, Danielle! I wasn’t expecting the machine… Give me a call when you get a chance. Bye bye. Oh God! Oh, God.
好的，好的。哦，丹妮尔，没想到是答录机接的，有空请回电……再见。哦，天呐，天呐！
Monica: That’s what you’ve been working on for the past two hours? !
过去两小时你就在忙这个？
Chandler: Hey, I’ve been honing!
注释：hone：用磨刀石磨。
喂，我一直在演练好不！
Ross: What was with the dishes?
和盘子有何关系？
Chandler: Oh, uh… I want her to think I might be in a restaurant… You know? I might have some kind of life, like I haven’t been sitting around here honing for the past few hours.
我要她以为我在餐厅……我过着不错的生活，不是只在这儿演练数小时的样子。
Monica: Look look! He’s doing it again, the guy with the telescope!
看，又是那个拿望远镜的人。
Phoebe: Oh my God! Go away! Stop looking in here!
拜托，走开，别再往这儿看。
Monica: Great, now he’s waving back.
这下可好，他也挥手了。
Joey: Man, we gotta do something about that guy. This morning, I caught him looking into our apartment. It creeps me out! I feel like I can’t do stuff!
我们得想办法阻止他。我们得想办法阻止他，早上我逮到他往这儿看，真是令我毛骨惊然，我感觉自己无法办事。
Monica: What kind of stuff?
什么样的事情呀？
Joey: Will you grow up? I’m not talking about sexy stuff, but, like, when I’m cooking naked.
成熟点行吗？我不是指性，我只是光着屁♥股做饭。
Phoebe: You cook naked?
你光着屁♥股做饭？
Joey: Yeah, toast, oatmeal…nothing that spatters.
是啊，烤面包，泡燕麦粥，都是不会溅出来的。
Chandler: What are you looking at me for? I didn’t know that.
看我♥干嘛？我毫不知情。
Barry: What’s the matter?
怎么了？
Rachel: Oh, it’s just…Oh, Barry, this was not good.
巴瑞，这样不好。
Barry: No, it was. It was very very good.
不，不，是非常非常好。
Rachel: Well, what about Mindy?
明蒂怎么样？
Barry: Oh, way, way better than Mindy.
我们干得比明蒂好太多了。
Rachel: No, not that, I mean, what about you and Mindy?
不，不是那事，我的意思是，你和明蒂怎么办？
Barry: Well, if you want, I’ll just—I’ll just break it off with her.
如果你愿意，我就和她分手。
Rachel: No. No no no no, no. I mean, don’t do that. Not, I mean not for me.
不，不，万万不行，别那样做，我的意思是，别为我那样做。
Bernice: Dr. Farber, Bobby Rush is here for his adjustment.
法大夫，鲍比来做调整。
Barry: Thanks, Bernice. Let’s go away this weekend.
谢谢柏妮丝。我们这周末去渡假。
Rachel: Oh, Barry! Come on, this is all way too…
巴瑞，拜托，这样太……
Barry: But wait, wait, we can, go to Aruba! When I went there on what would have been our honeymoon, it was, uh…it was really nice. You would’ve liked it.
但是，等等，等等，我们可以去阿鲁巳。我在本属于我们的蜜月期去过了，那里很好，你一定会喜欢。
Rachel: I had a bra.
我本来有穿胸罩的。

老友记.本章节注释

注释：testosteroney:testosterone睾酮; 睾丸素（男性荷尔蒙的一种）。Phoebe 是用很形象的方式告诉 Chandler 别老那么大男子主义。
注释：shove：猛推。
注释：hone：用磨刀石磨。