Phoebe: God, what happened to you?
天啊，你怎么了？
Chandler: Eight and a half hours of aptitude tests…,intelligence tests, personality tests, and what do I learn? “You’re ideally suited in data processing for a large multinational corporation.”
注释：aptitude：倾向; （学习方面的） 才能，资质，天资; 适合性。
8个半小时的能力倾向测验，智力测验，性格测验，我了解了什么？你适合在大型跨国公司数据处理部门方面发展。
Phoebe: That’s so great! ‘Cause You already know how to do that.
这太好了 ！因为你已知道该如何做了。
Chandler: Can you believe it? Don’t I seem like somebody who should be doing something really cool? You know, I just always pictured myself doing something…. Something!
你们能相信吗？我不像是做那种酷工作的人吗？我总是想像自己能做点事情。某些事情！
Rachel: Chandler, I know, I know. Hey, you can see your nipples through this shirt.
钱德，我知道，我知道。嗨，你可以透过你的衬衫看自己的乳♥ 头。
Monica: Here you go. Maybe this will cheer you up.
给你这个，或许这个能让你开心点。
Chandler: Woo, you know, umm, I had a grape about five hours ago, so I better split this with you.
哦，呃，5小时前我吃了一颗葡萄，所以我最好该和你分着吃。
Monica: It’s supposed to be small. It’s a preappetizer. The French call it an amouz-bouche.
它本来就应该那么小，这是开胃菜前餐。法国人称它为”阿姆兹布许”。
Chandler: Well, it is amouzing.
这简直是太神奇了。
Monica: Hello? Hi, Wendy. Yeah, 8:00. What did we say, $10 an hour? Okay, great. All right, I’ll see you then. Bye.
温蒂，对，八点。我们不是说过吗？每小时十块。很好，再见了。
Rachel: $10 an hour for what?
什么每小时十块？
Monica: Oh, yes. One of the waitresses at work, she helps me out.
我请餐厅里的女服务生帮忙。
Rachel: Waitressing?
服务生？
Monica: Of course I thought of you. But…. But….but…
当然我考虑过你。但是……但是…
Rachel: but?
但是什么？
Monica: But it’s just this night has to go just perfect, you know? Well, Wendy’s more of a professional waitress.
但是这今晚一定要做到完美，你知道吗？温蒂的经验丰富，是个职业服务生。
Rachel: I see. Yes. And I’m sort of maintaining my amateur status so I can waitress in the Olympics.
我应该继续保持业余的姿态，将来才能在奥运会上当服务生。
Chandler: You know, I don’t mean to brag, but I waited tables at lnnsbruck in ’76. Took home a bronze. Amouz-bouche?
我不想自吹自擂， 但我在76年的因斯布鲁克当过服务生。带回家一块铜牌。阿姆兹布许？
Celia: Talk to me.
和我说话。
Ross: OK, err, A weird thing happened on the train this morning
好的，额，早上我坐地铁时 发生了一件诡异的事。
Celia: Nonononono, talk dirty.
不不不不，说些色♥ 色的话吧。
Ross: Well, here?
在这里?
Celia: Come on. Say something hot. What? What?
说吧，说点火♥ 辣的。什么？什么？
Ross: Vulva.
外阴。
Joey: Vulva?
外阴？
Ross: All right. I panicked, all right? She took me by surprise. You know, but it wasn’t a total loss. I mean, we ended up cuddling.
好吧，我当时好害怕，她吓了我一跳。但并未完全失去自我，我们以拥抱收场。
Joey: You cuddled? How many times?
你们拥抱？几次？
Ross: Shut up. It was nice. I just, I just don’t think I’m a dirty-talking kind of guy. You know.
闭嘴，那种感觉好好。我不是那种讲色♥ 色的话的人，你是知道的。
Joey: What’s the big deal? You just say what you wanna do to her. Or what you want her to do to you. Or what other people might be doing to each other. I’ll tell you what. Try something on me.
有什么大不了的。你只要说出你想对她如何。或是你想她对你如何。或是别人想对彼此如何。这样吧，对我说吧。
Ross: Please be kidding.
希望你是玩笑的。
Joey: Why not? Come on. Just close your eyes and tell me what you’d like to be doing right now.
有何不可？ 说呀。只要闭上眼睛告诉我现在你想干什么。
Ross: OK, I’m in my apartment…
好的…… 我在我的住处……
Joey: Yeah, what else?
好，还有呢？
Ross: Let’s see it. In my apartment you’re not there. We’re not having this conversation.
是这样的，你不在我的住处，我们也没在进行这样的谈话。
Joey: All right, look, I’ll start. OK?
好的，我要开始了。
Ross: Don’t, please.
别，别。
Joey: Come on, come on, Ready? Look. Oh, Ross… you get me so hot. I want your lips on me now. All right. Now you say something.
来吧，准备好了吗？噢，罗斯…… 你让我欲♥ 火焚身，我要你舔我。该你了 。
Ross: I really don’t think so.
我看还是算了吧。
Joey: You like this woman, right?
你喜欢她吧？
Ross: Yeah!
是的。
Joey: You wanna see her again, right?
想再见到她吗？
Ross: Sure.
当然。
Joey: If you can’t talk dirty to me, how will you talk dirty to her? Now tell me you wanna caress my butt!
如果你无法对我说出狠亵的话，你如何对她说呢？说你想爱抚我的屁♥ 股。
Ross: Okay, turn around. I just don’t want you staring at me when I’m doing this.
好吧，转过去。我不想在我说的时候你盯著我看。
Joey: All right, I’m not looking. Go ahead.
好吧，我不看，说吧。
Ross: Okay. OK. I want Okay, I want…to feel your hot, soft skin with my lips.
好的。我要…… 用我的双唇感觉你那光滑的皮肤。
Joey: There you go. Keep going, keep going.
这就对了，继续，继续。
Ross: I want to take my tongue and…
我要用我的舌头……
Joey: Say it. Say it!
快说啊，快说！
Ross: Run it all over your body…until you’re trembling with…
舔遍你的全身…… 直到你颤抖……
Chandler: With?
然后呢？
Ross: Funny story.
真好笑。
Joey: You’re not gonna believe this.
你不会相信的。
Chandler: No, no, it’s OK. I was always rooting for you two kids to get together.
不，不，没什么。我一向赞成你们两个小子交往。
Joey: The trembling thing was nice.
颤抖那一段不错。
Ross: Shut up!
闭嘴！
Joey: Hey, Chandler, when you were sleeping, that guy from your old job called again.
Chandler，你睡觉时老东家又打电话来。
Chandler: Again?
又打来？
Joey: And again and again and again. Hello? And again.
一遍又一遍。你好？又打来了。
Chandler: Hey, Mr. Costilick. How’s life on the 15th floor? Yeah, I miss you too. It’s a lot less satisfying to steal pens from your own home. That’s very generous. But, look, this isn’t about the money. You know? I just, I need something. It’s more than a job. I need something I really care about. And that’s on top of the year-end bonus structure you mentioned earlier?
Costilick先生，15楼的情况如何？我也想念你。对，偷家里的笔不够刺♥ 激。你真慷慨，但这不是钱的问题。你知道吗？我需要的不只是一份工作 ，我要的是我真正想要的。这是你稍早提过的年终红利之外的津贴？
All: Your dream!
你的梦想…
Chandler: Look, Al, I’m not playing hardball here, okay? This is not a negotiation. This is a rejection! Stop saying numbers! I’m telling you, you’ve got the wrong guy! You’ve got the wrong guy! I’ll see you Monday!
艾尔，我不是在故意为难你。这不是交涉，这叫拒绝。不，别再讲数字了！告诉你，你看错人了，看错人了！星期一见！
Phoebe: Wow! It’s huge! It’s so much bigger than the cubicle. This is a cube!
好大，比小格子大多了。这是一个格间！
Chandler: Look at this.
看这里。

老友记.本章节注释

aptitude：倾向; （学习方面的） 才能，资质，天资; 适合性。