Monica: You just asked me.
你刚问过我了。
Phoebe: Okay, maybe it was a trick question. Rachel, can we do this now?
好吧，也许这就是个有圈套的问题。Rachel，我们现在可以开始了吗？
Rachel: Okay. I am so hot!
好，我好兴奋呀！
Joey: Now, here’s a picture of my mother and father on their wedding day. And you tell me she’s not a knockout.
注释：knockout：击昏，击倒。
看，这是我爸妈婚礼时的照片。你说，她是不是个美人。
Ross: I cannot believe we’re having this conversation.
没想到我们会谈论这个。
Joey: C’mon! Just try to picture her not pregnant, that’s all.
嘿，想像一下她没挺着大肚子就行。
Rachel: Central Perk is proud to present Miss Phoebe Buffay.
“中央公园咖啡店”很荣幸为各位呈献Phoebe Buffay女士的音乐。
Phoebe: Thanks. Hi, um, ‘kay. I’d like to start with a song that’s about a man that I recently met, who’s, um, come to be very important to me. You don’t have to be awake To be my man. Long as you have brain waves I’ll be there to hold your hand. Though we just met the other day# #There’s something I have got to say. Thank you very much. I’m gonna take a short break.
谢谢，嗨，首先这首歌是关于一个我最近遇到的男生，他呢，已经成为我生命中非常重要的男人。你无须醒来成为我的男人。只要你一息尚存，我就会守在你身边。虽然我们相遇不久，我却只想说…谢谢各位，我得暂停一小会儿。
Rachel: Okay, that was Phoebe Buffay, everybody. Woo!
好，让我们一起感谢Phoebe Buffay女士。喔~
Chandler: What was that?
她在搞什么东西？
Ross: Oh, uh, Phoebe just started a…
哦，啊，Phoebe刚开始…
Chandler: Yeah, I believe I was talking to Joey, alright there, Mother-Kisser?
好了，我是在和Joey说话，知道不，亲妈男。
Joey: Mother-Kisser…I’ll shut up.
亲妈男……我闭嘴了。
Ross: Chandler, can I just say something? I I know you’re still mad at me, I just wanna say that there were two people there that night. Okay? There were two sets of lips.
Chandler，我能说几句吗？我知道你还在生我的气。但我只想说那晚有两个当事人，对吧？所以是有两对嘴唇。
Chandler: Yes, well, I expect this from her. Okay? She’s always been a Freudian nightmare.
是，好吧，我早想到她会这样。她一直都是个佛洛依德式噩梦。
Ross: Okay, well, if she always behaves like this, why don’t you say something?
那好，如果她一直这样，你为什么说出来呢？
Chandler: Because it’s complicated, it’s complex. Hey, you kissed my mom!
因为这很复杂，这很麻烦……喂！你亲了我妈！
Ross: We’re rehearsing a Greek play.
我们正在排练希腊剧。
Chandler: That’s very funny. We done now?
真好笑，那我们排练完没？
Ross: No! Okay, you mean, you’re not gonna talk to her, you’re not gonna tell her how you feel?
还没，好，你不找她谈？不跟她说你怎么想的？
Chandler: That would be a no. Look, just because you played tonsil tennis with my mom doesn’t mean you know her. Alright? Trust me, you can’t talk to her.
注释：tonsil：扁桃体，play tonsil tennis with=kiss deeply with深吻。
当然不会说。别因为你亲过她，就自以为了解她。相信我，不能跟她谈。
Ross: Okay, ‘you’ can’t, or you can’t? Okay, that’s my finger. Okay, that’s, that’s my knee. Still doing the play. Aaah!
好吧，是”你”不能，还是你”不能”？哦，我的手指……呃，我的膝盖……我们还在排练。啊~啊~啊~
Phoebe: Alright, what did you do with him?
好吧，你对他做什么了？
Monica: Oh! You’re awake!
哦，你醒了。
Phoebe: Look at you! How, how do you feel?
瞧你，你感觉真，怎么样了？
Coma Guy: Uh, a little woozy, but basically okay.
啊，头有点晕，基本还行。
Monica: Gosh, you look good!
天，你的气色好极了。
Coma Guy: I feel good!…Who are you?
我感觉好极了……你们是谁？
Monica: Oh, sorry.
哦，不好意思。
Phoebe: I’m Phoebe Buffay.
我叫Phoebe Buffay。
Monica: I’m Monica Geller. I’ve been taking care of you.
我叫Monica Geller，我一直在照顾你。
Phoebe: Well, we both have.
我们都有在（照顾你）。
Coma Guy: So, the EtchaSketch is from you guys?
注释：EtchaSketch: 手写板，留言板。
所以留言板上的字是你们写的？
Phoebe: Well, actually it’s just from me.
哦，其实只是我。
Monica: I got you the foot massage.
我替你做过脚底按摩。
Phoebe: You know who shaved you? That was me.
知道是谁帮你刮的胡子吗？是我哦。
Monica: I read to you.
我读新闻给你听。
Phoebe: I sang. Hah!
我唱歌给你听。哈！
Coma Guy: Well,…thanks.
哦，……谢了。
Monica: Oh, my pleasure.
哦，没事。
Phoebe: You’re welcome.
没关系。
Coma Guy: So. I guess I’ll see you around.
好，那我们回头见吧。
Phoebe: What, that’s it?
什么？就这样？
Monica: “See you around?”
“回头见”？
Coma Guy: Well, what do you want me to say?
哦，不然要我说什么？
Monica: Well, I don’t know. Maybe, um, “That was nice?” “Admit something to me? ” “I’ll call you?”
我不知道。或许，呃，”你们真好”， “向我承认些什么？””我会打给你们的。
Coma Guy: Alright, I’ll call you.
好吧，我会打给你们。
Phoebe: I don’t think you mean that.
一点诚意都没有。
Monica: This is so typical. Y’know, we give, and we give, and we give. And then we just get nothing back! And then one day, it’s just, y’know, you wake up, and “See you around”! Let’s go, Phoebe.
你们男人都这样。我们不断付出，再付出，不停付出。并且没有任何回报。然后有一天，他醒过来……只有一句”回头见”！走吧，Phoebe。
Phoebe: Y’know what? We thought you were different. But I guess it was just the coma.
知道吗，我们以为你与众不同。但是我猜只是因为你是昏迷的。
Mrs. Bing: Hey kiddo, car’s waiting downstairs, I just wanted to drop off these copies of my book for your friends, autographed. And give you a goodbye kiss, so mooah, here’s the kiss, here’s the goodbye… Anything you want from Lisbon?
嗨小盆友，车等在楼下，我只想拿几本我的书给你朋友们，亲笔签名过哦。还有就是和你”吻别”，这是亲亲，也是拜拜哦…… 需要我在里斯本帮你带什么吗？
Chandler: No, no, just knowing you’re gonna be there is enough.
不用，不用，知道你要去那就够了。
Mrs. Bing: Alright, well, be good, I love you. Mooah.
好吧，要乖哦，我爱你。
Chandler: You kissed my best Ross! …Or something to that effect.
你亲了我最好的Ross！……差不多就是这个效果。
Mrs. Bing: Okay. Look, it, it was stupid.
好吧，我做了蠢事。
Chandler: Really stupid.
愚蠢至极。
Mrs. Bing: Really stupid. And I don’t even know how it happened. I’m sorry, honey. I promise it will never happen again.
愚蠢至极。我都不知道是怎么发生的。抱歉，宝贝，我保证不会再发生这种事。
Chandler: Really, really stupid.
真的，真的愚蠢至极。
Mrs. Bing: Really, really stupid. Are we okay now?
真的，真的愚蠢之极。我们没事了吧？
Chandler: Yeah. No….
是的。不……
Ross: Ah, the forbidden love of a man and his door.
啊，男人与他的门之间的禁忌之爱。
Joey: Shh. He did it. He told her off, and not just about the kiss, about everything.
嘘，他说出来了，不只是亲嘴的事，所有都说出来了。
Ross: You’re kidding.
你在开玩笑？
Joey: No, no. He said “When are you gonna grow up and start being a mom?” Then she came back with: “The question is, when are you gonna grow up and realize I have a bomb? ”
注释：bomb：炸♥弹。
不，不，他说”你什么才能长大，有个当妈的样”？然后，她回了一句”问题是，你什么时候才能长大，才能意识到我是个性感女郎？”
Ross: ‘Hey, wait a minute, are you sure she didn’t say “When are you gonna grow up and realize I am your mom?”
等等，你确定她不是说”你什么时候才能长大，才能意识到我是你妈妈？”
Joey: That makes more sense.
这样更说得通一些。
Ross: So, what’s going on now?
现在怎么样了？
Joey: I don’t know. I’ve been standing here spelling it out for you. I don’t hear anything. Wait.
我不知道。我不在这儿说给你听嘛。我什么都听不到，等等…
Ross: Whaddya see?
你看见什么？
Joey: It’s hard to tell. They’re tiny and upside down. Wait, wait, wait. They’re walking away. They’re walking away. No, they’re not. They’re coming right at us. Run! Run!
不好说。他们好小而且是上下颠倒的。等等，等等。他们走了，他们走了……不，不是，他们往这边来了。快跑！跑！
Mrs. Bing: Are you okay, kiddo?
你还好吧，孩子？
Chandler: Yeah, I’m okay.
嗯，好了。
Mrs. Bing: Alright. You be good.
好，你要好好的哦。
Chandler: Drive safe.
路上小心。
Ross: Mrs. Bing.
你好，Bing太太。
Mrs. Bing: Mr. Geller.
你好，Geller先生。
Chandler: Hey.
喂。
Ross: You mean that?
你认真的？
Chandler: Yeah, why not. So I told her.
对，有何不可？我告诉她了
Ross: How did it go?
情况怎么样？
Chandler: Awful. Awful. Couldn’t have gone worse.
糟糕，糟糕，不可能更糟糕了。
Ross: Well, how do you feel?
你感觉怎么样？
Chandler: Pretty good! I told her.
不错。我跟她说了。
Ross: Well, see? So, maybe it wasn’t such a bad idea, y’know, me kissing your mom, uh? Huh? But…we don’t have to go down that road.
瞧见没？也许我亲了你妈不是件坏事。不过……不必继续往下说了。
Rachel: Okay. Now this is just the first chapter, and I want your absolute honest opinion. Okay? Oh, and on page two, he’s not reaching for her ” heaving beasts. ”
注释：heaving：隆起膨胀，起伏的。
好，这只是第一章，我需要你们十分坦诚的意见。哦，对了，在第二页中，他的手伸向的不是她的”起伏的双乳”（Rachel把breasts误拼成beasts）。
Phoebe: Why, she could have heaving beasts.
为什么，她可以有起伏的”双乳”啊。
Rachel: Right, right, but in this case she doesn’t.
好吧，好吧，但是这回她没有。
Monica: What’s a ‘niffle’?
什么是”niffle”？（Rachel把nipples误拼成niffles）。
Joey: You usually find them on the ‘heaving beasts’.
你通常在”起伏的双乳”上可以找到。
Rachel: Alright, alright, alright, so I’m not a great typist…
好吧，好吧，好吧，好吧…我不会打字。
Ross: Wait, did you get to the part about his ‘huge throbbing pens’? Tell ya, you don’t wanna be around when he starts writing with those!
注释：throbbing：悸动的，颤动的。
等等，你们看到他”巨大的颤动的笔”那段了吗？等着瞧吧，他用那支笔写字的时候你可不会想在场。
Rachel: Alright, that’s it! Give it back! That’s it! All: No! No! No!
好了，够了，还我，够了啦！…不要，不要……
Phoebe: Oh wait wait wait, no, no, I just got to the part about her “public hair“.
注释：public hair：public应为pubic，意思是阴毛的、阴♥部的，这里是Rachel笔误，说明她不善拼写。
等等，等等，我刚看到她的”public hair”那段（Rachel把pubic误拼成public）。

老友记.本章节注释

注释：knockout：击昏，击倒。
注释：tonsil：扁桃体，play tonsil tennis with=kiss deeply with深吻。
注释：EtchaSketch: 手写板，留言板。
注释：bomb：炸♥弹。
注释：heaving：隆起膨胀，起伏的。
注释：throbbing：悸动的，颤动的。
注释：public hair：public应为pubic，意思是阴毛的、阴♥部的，这里是Rachel笔误，说明她不善拼写。