Friends Episode 6 Season 1: The one with the Butt.

老友记第1季第6集：屁♥股秀。

Rachel: Ooh! Look! Look! Look! Look, there’s Joey’s picture! This is so exciting!
你们看，是乔伊的照片!真是令人兴奋!
Chandler: You can always spot someone who’s never seen one of his plays before. Notice, no fear. No sense of impending doom.
注释：impending：即将发生的，迫在眉睫的。
你总是能找到从未看过他任何一部作品的人。真是专注，无畏无惧，就算死到临头也不恐慌。
Ross: Look. The role of man number three will not be played by Vic Shapiro. We came on the wrong night.
看看“三号男演员不是由维克·夏皮罗来演”，看来我们来错时间了啊。
Monica: I can’t believe I forget to bring a magazine.
不敢相信我居然忘了带杂志。
Rachel: Come on, you guys, this might be good.
别这样，伙计们，也许不错呢。
Phoebe: I don’t know. The exclamation point in the title scares me. Y’know, It’s not just Freud, it’s Freud!
注释：exclamation point：感叹号。
我不知道。标题上的感叹号吓到我了，你知道，这不只是佛洛依德，而是佛洛依德！
Ross: Oh, shhh, shh. Magic is about to happen.
哦，安静，奇迹就要出现了。
Joey: Well, Eva, we’ve done some excellent work here. And I would have to say…your problem is quite clear.
好，伊娃，你今天表现不错，我得说…你的问题相当明显。
All you want is a dingle, What you envy’s a schwang, A thing through which you can tinkle, Or play with, or simply let hang…
注释：dingle, schwang：都是俚语，意思是男人阴?茎。
你想要的只不过是个小弟，你所嫉妒的是男人的老二。一个你可以用来撒尿的东西，时而可以拿来玩弄，时而只是让其悬空摇摆。
Rachel: God. I feel violated.
天啊。我觉得被冒犯了。
Monica: Did anybody else feel they just wanted to peel the skin off their body, to have something else to do?
有人想把他们的皮剥下来吗？这样就有别的事情做了（而不用看表演了）。
Chandler: Ross, ten o’clock.
罗斯，十点方向。
Ross: Is it? Feels like two.
是吗？好像是两点钟吧。
Chandler: No, ten o’clock.
不，十点方向。
Ross: What?
什么？
Chandler: There’s a beautiful woman at eight, nine, ten o’clock!
有个美女在八、九、十点钟方向！
Ross: Hello!
嗨！
Chandler: She’s amazing! She makes the women that I dream about look like short, fat, bald men!
她太迷人了！和她比起来我的梦中情人就像是又矮又肥的秃顶男人！
Monica: Well, go over to her! She’s not with anyone.
好吧，去找她吧！她旁边没人。
Chandler: Oh yeah, right, and what would my opening line be? “Excuse me. Blarrglarrghh.”
哦，对，那我的开场白会是什么？“打扰了。呃啊……”
Rachel: Oh, come on! She’s a person, you can do it!
哦，别这样。她只是个人，你能做到的！
Chandler: Oh please, could she be more out of my league? Ross, back me up here.
哦拜托，她太高于我的层次了？罗斯，支持我一下。
Ross: He could never get a woman like that in a million years.
他一百万年也休想得到这样的女人。
Chandler: Thank you, buddy.
谢谢兄弟。
Phoebe: Oh, oh, but you know, you always see these really beautiful women with these really nothing guys, you could be one of those guys.
哦，哦，但你要知道，总能看到那些真正的美女和一些真不怎么样的男的在一起，你也可以成为那些男人中的一个。
Monica: You could do that!
你可以的！
Chandler: Y’think?
你们这么认为？
All: Yeah! Absolutely!
对！当然！
Chandler: Oh God, I can’t believe I’m even considering this…
哦天，我都不敢相信我居然会考虑……
Chandler: I’m very very aware of my tongue…
我很注意我的言辞……
Ross: Come on! Come on!
加油！加油！
Chandler: Here goes.
我去了。
Ross: Stand back, everyone. Incoming ego shrapnel.
注释：shrapnel：弹片; 榴?霰?弹，这里一句话的意思是说，大家站后点，钱德勒十分自信地上去搭话，自我膨胀了，马上就要爆炸了。
退后，伙计们，自信心膨胀就要爆炸了。
Chandler: All right. I can do this.
好的，我能做到的。
Aurora:… Yes?
怎么？
Chandler: Hi…. um… Okay, next word would be Chandler. Chandler is my name and…. uh…hi.
嗨。好，下一个词应该是钱德勒。钱德勒是我的名字，呃……嗨。
Aurora: Yes, you said that.
对，你说了。
Chandler: Yes, yes I did, but what I didn’t say was what I was about to say, what I wanted to say was, uh…would you like to go out with me sometime, thank you, goodnight.
是，是我说了，不过我没说我刚才想说的话，我刚才想说的是，呃……有时间你愿意和我约会吗？谢谢，晚安。
Aurora: Chandler?
钱德勒？
All: Hey! I didn’t know you could dance! You’re in a play! You had a beard!
嗨！我都不知道你会跳舞！你演戏了！你还安了大胡子！
Joey: What you think?
你们认为怎么样？
All:… Hey! You’re in a play! I didn’t know you could dance! You had a beard!
嗨！你演戏了！我都不知道你会跳舞！你还安了大胡子！
Joey: C’mon, you guys, it wasn’t that bad. I was the lead.
拜托，没那么糟吧。我可是主角。
Joey: It was better than that thing I did with the trolls. At least you got to see my head.
注释：troll：合唱中的轮唱。
这总比我在轮唱中出现强，至少你们可以看见我的头。
All: Saw your head. Saw your head.
我们有看见你的头。
Joey: Hi Hi, how about that German accent?
我的德语发音怎么样？
Monica: Yeah, all of your W’s were V’s.
很好，所有W的音全变成V。
Chandler: She said yes! ! She said yes! ! Awful play, man. Her name’s Aurora, and she’s Italian, and she pronounces my name ‘Chandlrr’. ‘Chandlrr’. I think I like it better that way. Oh, listen, the usher gave me this to give to you.
她答应了！！她答应了！！演出真糟糕，老兄。她叫Aurora，是意大利人，她说我的名字时发音是“’Chandlrr’. ‘Chandlrr’.我更喜欢这种发音。哦，听着，引导员让我把这个转交给你。
Rachel: What is it?
这是什么？
Joey: The Estelle Leonard Talent Agency. Wow, an agency left me its card! Maybe they wanna sign me!
Estelle Leonard经纪公司。哇，经纪公司给我名片了！也许他们想签我呢！
Phoebe: Based on this play?… Based on this play!
就凭这场戏？…就凭这场戏！
Joey: Look, there’s a note on the back. “Love your work, call me ASAP”. She was obviously very moved.
看，背面有字：”喜欢你的表演，请尽快联系我”。显然她被我打动了。
Ross: You should probably call her fairly quickly.
你应该马上给她打电话。
Joey: Yeah, as soon as possible.
是，越快越好。
Estelle: Come in.
请进。
Joey: Hi, I’m here to see Estelle Leonard.
嗨。我来找Estelle Leonard的。
Estelle: Just a moment, let me see if she is in. Hello.
稍等，我看看她在不？你好。
Joey:You’re Estelle Leonard?
你是Estelle Leonard？
Estelle: I know…you weren’t expecting someone so fantastically beautiful. …so, love lump, take a load off already, darling. Sit already.
注释：lump：块，块状。
我知道………你并没预料会见到一位如此美丽动人的小姐。亲爱的，放下负担，亲爱的，坐下来。
Joey: I can not tell you how excited I am just even to be here.
我无法用语言表述，来到这里我有多么兴奋。
Estelle: Why not?
为什么？
Joey: What I meant was…
我的意思是说。。。
Estelle Leonard: You don’t mind if I eat while we talk? Do you?
你不介意我边吃边聊吧？你介意吗？
Estelle: Joey…sweetheart, let me ask you a question. …Did you ever see the movie Sleepless in Seattle?
乔伊。。。亲爱的，让我问你一个问题。。。你看过”西雅图不眠夜”这部电影吗？
Joey: Wow, do you represent those actors?
你是那些演员的代理人？
Estelle: No. But you know at the end of movie, Bob and Ross were so happy with each other? That’s gonna be you and me.
不是这样的。你知道结尾吧，Bob和Ross快乐地在一起了，我和你也会那样。
Joey: you mean you want to sign me?
你是说你想签我？
Estelle: No, I wanna go up on the top of the Empire State Building then make out. Of course I wanna sign you!
不，我想去帝国大厦顶与你亲热，我当然是要签你啊！
Joey: Oh, Miss Leonard.
哦，Leonard小姐。。。
Estelle: Ride them, cowboy.
小伙子，努力去吧，冒冒失失的家伙。
Joey: I am sorry.
对不起。
Ross: I don’t see it I don’t see it.
我看不到，我看不到。
Chandler: Try to look pass the book.
试着透过书去看。
Monica: You just have to unfocus your eyes.
让你的眼睛离焦。
Ross: What is focusing? There is nothing to focus on.
集中什么？没有什么可以看的。
Phoebe: It’s the Statue of Liberty!
是自由女神。
Monica: Right!
对啦。
Ross: Where is the Statue of Liberty? where?
自由女神在哪里？在哪里？
Phoebe: There, but I can not see it now.
那里。但是现在我看不到了。
Chandler: Hey, kids.
嗨，伙计们。
Ross: Come here. Do you see anything right here?
到这里来。你在这里看到什么了吗？
Chandler: It looks like a boat.
看起来像一只船。
Ross: A boat.
一只船。
Chandler: Right there in front of the Statue of Liberty.
正好在自由女神前面。
Chandler: Well, I can’t believe I’ve been here almost seven seconds and you haven’t asked me how my date went.
我坐在这儿都七秒钟了，竟没人问我的约会如何？
Monica: Oh, right, right. How was your date, ‘Chandlrr’?
哦，对，对。你约会怎么样，’Chandlrr’？
Chandler: It was unbelievable.
真是令人难以置信。
Chandler: I’ve never met anyone like her. She’s had the most amazing life! She was in the Israeli army.
我没见过像她那样的人，她的生活真是太令人称羡了。她曾在以色列军队待过。
Aurora: Luckily none of the bullets hit the engine block. So, we made it to the border.
幸运的是没有子弹打到引擎。所以，我们到达了边境。
Aurora: But just barely, and I…. I’ve been talking about myself all night long. I’m sorry. What about you? Tell me one of your stories.
真是有惊无险，而我……我整晚都在谈我自己，抱歉。说你怎么样？告诉我你的事吧。

老友记.本章节注释

impending：即将发生的，迫在眉睫的。
exclamation point：感叹号。
dingle, schwang：都是俚语，意思是男人阴?茎。
shrapnel：弹片; 榴?霰?弹，这里一句话的意思是说，大家站后点，钱德勒十分自信地上去搭话，自我膨胀了，马上就要爆炸了。
troll：合唱中的轮唱。
lump：块，块状。