Rachel: What? You click when they click.
怎么了？只要他们踢的时候你踢就是了。
Teacher: All right, people, now everyone grab a partner.
好了，各位找个舞伴。
Phoebe: Oh, all right. And my dead mother said you are it. I’m with Rachel.
哦，好吧。我死去的妈说就是你，我和瑞秋。
Monica: Great, it’s gym class all over again.
这下可好，体育课的旧事又重演了。
Teacher: Well, that’s all right. You can come up to the front and dance with me.
你可以到前面来和我一起跳。
Monica: Why don’t I just take off my clothes and have a nightmare?
我何不脱下衣服来场恶梦？
Woman: It’s okay, it’s okay. I’m here, I’m here. I’m so sorry I’m late. Okay, here I am. So who’s the new tense girl?
没关系，没关系。我来了。抱歉，我迟到来了。好了，那个紧张的新人是谁？
Teacher: She’s your partner.
你的舞伴。
Woman: Hi, I’m Monica.
嗨，我叫摩妮卡。
Monica: Oh, Monica. Hi, I’m Mon…Nana.
噢，摩妮卡，我叫摩…娜娜。
Woman: Monana.
摩娜娜。
Monica: Yeah, It’s Dutch.
是荷兰人的名字。
Woman: You’re kidding. I spent three years in Amsterdam.
你在开玩笑吧？我在阿姆斯特丹住了三年。
Monica: Umm, Pennsylvania Dutch.
呃，我是宾夕法尼亚州的荷兰人。
Woman: Oh.
哦。
Teacher: And we’re dancing. Five, six, seven, eight.
我们跳舞吧。五，六，七，八。
Ross: Hi.
嗨。
Joey: Hey. Where have you been?
你上哪儿去了。
Ross:I just got back from the vet.
我刚从兽医回来。
Chandler: She’s not gonna make you wear a big plastic cone, is she?
她没叫你戴那种塑胶套吧？
Ross: She says Marcel’s humping thing is not a phase. Apparently, he’s reached sexual maturity.
她说马修乱性不是暂时的，显然它已性成熟。
Joey: Hey, he beat you.
嘿，它超过你了呢。
Ross: She says, as time goes on, he’s gonna start getting aggressive and violent.
她说，随着时间的推移，它会越来越暴力。
Chandler: So, what does this mean?
所以，这代表什么？
Ross: I have to give him up.
我得放弃它了。
Joey: I can’t believe it, Ross. This sucks.
我真不敢相信！这真是太扯了！
Chandler: I don’t get it. I mean, you just got him. How could he be an adult already?
我不明白，你才刚养它，它怎会突然就成人了？
Ross: I know, I know. I mean, one day he’s this little thing…and then before you know it, he’s this little thing I can’t get off my leg.
我知道，之前它还只是个小东西，然后不知不觉中，它就成了紧抓住我的腿不放的小东西。
Joey: Isn’t there any way you can keep him?
你没有任何办法再留住它吗？
Ross: No. No. The vet said unless he’s in a place…where he has regular access…to some monkey loving…he’s just gonna get vicious…I just gotta get him into a zoo.
没办法，兽医说除非有个地方让它获得正常的猴爱，否则它会越来越凶猛，我得将它送到动物园。
Joey: How do you get a monkey into a zoo?
你如何把它送进动物园？
Chandler: I know that one. No, that’s popes into a Volkswagen.
我知道……不，那是教皇进入大众汽车。
Ross: Well, we’re applying to a lot of them. Naturally our first choice would be one of the bigger state zoos. You know, like San Diego. Right? But that may just be a pipe dream. Because you know he’s out of state.
注释：pipe dream:白日梦，幻想。
我们申请很多动物园，当然大型州立动物园是优先考虑。比方说圣地牙哥动物园，是吧？那可能只是遥不可及的梦想，因为他状态不好。
Ross: My vet knows someone at Miami, so that’s a possibility.
我的兽医认识迈阿密的朋友，或许有可能。
Chandler: Yeah, but that’s like two blocks away from the beach. I mean it’s a total party zoo.
是啊，那儿似乎离海滩只有两条街，一定是个疯狂动物园。
Phoebe: Hey, we found her. We found the girl.
我们找到她了，我们找到那个女人了。
Chandler: What?
什么？
Joey: Did you call the cops?
你们喊警察了吗？
Rachel: No, we took her to lunch.
没有，我们带她去吃了午餐。
Chandler: Oh, your own brand of vigilante justice.
注释：vigilante:义务警员; （自发组织的）治安团体的成员; 〈美〉自卫队员。
哦，你们自己的 “自治正义”。
Ross: What? Are you insane? This woman stole from you. She she stole. She’s a stealer.
什么？你疯了吗？这个女人偷了你的东西，她偷东西，她是个小偷！
Monica: You know what, after you’re with this woman for 10 minutes, you forget that.
你们知道吗？和这女人相处十分钟后，你们就会把这些全忘了。
Monica: I mean, she’s this astounding person with this amazing spirit.
我是说，她简直是奇女子，拥有神奇的精神。
Ross: Yeah, which she probably stole from some cheerleader.
是啊，她可能是从某位啦啦队队员那儿偷来的。
Chandler: Take off their hats.
脱下他们的帽子。
Phoebe: Popes in a Volkswagen. I love that joke.
大众车上的教皇。我喜欢这个笑话。
Rachel: No way. No way did you do this.
不可能，你不可能这么做。
Fake Monica: Monana was very brave.
摩娜娜可是相当勇敢。
Monica: It was so wild. We told them we were the Gundersons in room 615…only to find out the Boston Celtics had taken over the entire sixth floor.
那太疯狂了。我告诉他们我们是615房的冈氏姐妹，结果波士顿塞尔提克已包下整个六楼。
Fake Monica: So when they caught on the fact, well you know we’re short and have breasts….
他们知道了真相，你们知道的，我们又矮又有胸部时。
Monica: They threw us out. I was thrown out of a hotel. Me.
他们就把我们轰出来，我被轰出饭店，我。
Rachel: Go, Monana.
干得好，摩娜娜。
Rachel: Well, you ladies are not the only ones living the dream. I get to go pour coffee for people I don’t know. Don’t wait up.
不是只有你们活在梦中。我得去为我不认识的人倒咖啡，不用等我了。
Fake Monica: Oh, by the way…tomorrow we’re auditioning for a Broadway show.
哦，对了，明天我们要去参加百老汇的试演。
Monica: Excuse me? There’s an open call for Cats. I’m thinking we go down there, sing “Memories”…and make complete fools of ourselves. What do you say?
什么？ “猫” 剧还有一个缺额。我想我们可以去唱 “回忆”。让自己彻底当个傻子，如何？
Monica: No, no, no. Remember who you’re dealing with here. I mean I’m not like you. I can’t even stand in front of a tap class.
不，不，不。记得你身旁的人是谁。我的意思是，我和你不一样，我连站在踢踏舞教室前都有困难。
Fake Monica: That’s just probably because of your Amish background.
因为你有阿米许的血统。
Monica: What?
什么？
Fake Monica: You’re Pennsylvania Dutch, right?
你不是宾州荷兰人吗？
Monica: Right. Till I bought a blow dryer. Then I was shunned.
对，直到我买了吹风机，被逐出村里。
Fake Monica: I…I used to be just like you. And then, one day, I saw a movie that changed my life.
我过去也和你一样，有一天我看了一部电影，彻底改变我人生。
Did you ever see Dead Poets Society?
看过《死亡诗社》吗？
Monica: Uhhuh.
嗯哼。
Fake Monica: I thought that movie was so incredibly boring. I mean that thing at the end where the kid…kills himself because he can’t be in the play? What was that? It’s like,”Kid, wait a year. Leave home, do some community theater.” I walked out of there and I thought, “That’s two hours of my life that I’m never getting back.” And that thought scared me more than all the other crap I was afraid to do.
我认为这电影实在是太……无聊了。我是说，那孩子在电影的结局时……自杀了，只因他无法演出话剧？这是搞什么飞机？就好比：”孩子，等一年。离家出走，到社区话剧团去”。走出来时我想，”我这逝去两小时的生命，永远不再回”。这想法震惊了我，比其他任何我不敢做的破事更让我害怕。
Monica: Wow. Then I would definitely not recommend Mrs. Doubtfire.
哇哦，那么我绝不能推荐《窈窕奶爸》了。
Ross: Oh, God. We didn’t get into Scranton. That was, like, our safety zoo. They take, like, dogs and cows. See, I don’t know who this is harder on, me or him.
哦，天哪，我们进不了斯克兰顿了。那是，算是我们保底的动物园。他们连狗和牛都收。你瞧，我不懂谁更难受，是我还是它。
Rachel: I’d say that chair’s taking the brunt of it.
注释：brunt：冲击，主要冲力。
我想应该椅子最可怜。
Ross: Marcel. Marcel. Marcel, no. Good boy. See? How can nobody want him?
马修，马修，马修…不。乖，为何没人要它？
Rachel: Somebody will.
一定有人会要的。
Joey: You know, there already is a Joseph Stalin.
早就有人叫乔瑟夫斯大林了。
Chandler: You’re kidding.
开什么玩笑。
Joey: Apparently, he was this Russian dictator who slaughtered all these people. You’d think you would’ve known that.
显然他是屠杀各种民族的俄国独裁者。你怎么会不知道。
Chandler: You know, you’d think I would’ve.
你怎么认为我知道。
Chandler: Hey, how about Joey Heatherton?
嗨，乔伊·汉密尔顿怎么样？
Joey: Come on, seriously, I told you I don’t wanna go back to Joey. Phoebe, what do you think a good stage name for me would be?
拜托，我告诉过你不要用回乔伊。你认为我该取什么艺名？
Phoebe: Flame Boy.
火焰男孩。
Ross: Where exactly is your zoo?
你的动物园具体在哪儿？
Dr. Baldhara: Well, it’s technically not a zoo, per se. It’s more of an interactive wildlife experience. Let me ask you some questions about Marcel.
就技术上而言不算是动物园。而是一种互动式野生动物体验。我想请教你几个关于马修的问题。
Ross: Yes.
好的。
Dr. Baldhara: Yes. Does he fight with other animals?
好的。它会和其他动物打架吗？
Ross: No, no. He’s very docile.
不，不会的，它非常温驯。
Dr. Baldhara: Umm, even if he were cornered?
即便是被逼进角落里时（也这样）？
Ross: Well, I don’t know. Why?
我不知道，干嘛这么问？
Dr. Baldhara: How is he at handling small objects?
它掌控小东西的能力为何？
Ross: He can hold a banana, if that’s what you mean.
它会拿香蕉，如果你是这意思的话。
Dr. Baldhara: What about a hammer or a small blade?
那铁槌或小刀呢？

老友记.本章节注释

注释：pipe dream:白日梦，幻想。
注释：vigilante:义务警员; （自发组织的）治安团体的成员; 〈美〉自卫队员。
注释：brunt：冲击，主要冲力。