辣妈辣妹（2003）

我给你带来了个惊喜, 你肯定会喜欢的.
Got a surprise. You’re gonna be happy with me.
我对此极度怀疑.
I seriously doubt that.
这身衣服太性感了.
Great dress. Sexy.
当心大脓包!
Oozing sore!
我什么也没看见.
I don’t see anything.
小心弄花了我的化妆品, 都是高级货啊.
Makeup! Great stuff!
嘿, 悠着点, 猛♥男♥. 留到蜜月再说吧.
Hey, take it easy, stud. Save it for the honeymoon.
反正我们必须出发了.
You know what? We have to go anyway.
不行, 我得去找我的”好运”.
Oh, no, I have to get that fortune thingy.
没时间了. 我的衣服都穿好了.
No time. I’ve got my sweater on.
不, 不. 我必须 —
No, no. I have to —
我们必须出发了. 否则就赶不上我给你的惊喜了.
We have to leave. We’ll spoil the surprise.
当心脚下. -好的.
Watch your step. -Okay.
当心脚下. -好的.
Watch your step. -Okay!
当心脚下. -好的.
Still got your eyes closed? -Yeah.
-眼睛还没睁开吧? -没.
好的, 放松. 睁开眼吧.
All right, okay, relax. Open them.
你上了”杜蒂.罗伯森秀”了.
You’re on “The Dottie Robertson Show.”
他们的嘉宾临时退出了.
They had a last-second cancellation.
我就把你安排进来了.
I got you on.
要谈论我的那本书吗?
To talk about that book?
祝你好运!
Break a leg.
我就不祝你什么了.
I didn’t want to say anything.
我们为你准备好了.
We’re ready for you now.
因为我知道你紧张, 但你会表现的很出色的.
I know you get nervous, but you’re gonna be great.
我想吐!
I’m gonna barf!
看你的了!
Go get ’em!
当心脚下, 这边请. -我很抱歉.
Watch your step. This way. -I’m sorry.
你们认错认了. -就坐这.
I’m not that person. -Right there.
好了.
There you go. Oh, sorry.
化妆师马上就过来, 好吗?
Now, makeup’s gonna come to you, sweetie, okay?
这到底是什么东西?
What is this thing?
“透过镜子, 看到什么老?”
“Through the Looking Glass. Senescence.”
哀老? 衰老?
Se-nes-cence? Seeny-sincey?
到底是什么?
What?
“阴影部分的面♥积♥总和…
“The sum of the areas of the shaded regions
表示为’D’, 则有: A选项, ‘D’ 平方乘以…
in terms of ‘D’ is equal to A, ‘D’ squared times the sum
四分之”派”减去二分之”D”的差.
of pi divided by four minus ‘D’ divided by two.
B选项, ‘D’平方乘以…
B, ‘D’ squared times the sum of pi cubed
“派”的立方除以”D”再减去2的差.
divided by ‘D’ minus two.”
到底”派”等于多少? 好像是三点几几?
Now, what is pi again? Three-point-something?
这太荒谬了, 我从来没用过”派”.
Oh, this is ridiculous. I’ve never used pi.
安娜从来用不到”派”的. 到底为什么管它叫”派”?
Anna’s never gonna use pi! Why is it called pi anyway?
好吧, 集中精力.
Okay, focus.
或者C选项, ‘D’ 立方减去”派”平方…
Or “C, ‘D’ cubed minus the sum of pi squared.
喂!
Psst!
布朗小姐, 她在抄我的卷子.
Miss Brown, she’s copying my test!
嘿, 作弊鬼. -我没作弊.
Hey, cheater. -I did not cheat.
史戴茜.欣可豪斯陷害了我.
That Stacey Hinkhouse is conniving.
作没作弊是你的问题.
It’s your business.
我没作弊. 你别冲着我傻笑.
I did not cheat. Don’t you smirk at me.
如果你是个大好人的话,
If you’re so perfect,
为什么你也总被关进禁闭室?
why are you in detention all the time?
我不是被关在这, 我在这工作.
I’m not in detention. I work here.
我来帮你完成你的考试, 怎么样?
What would you say if I told you I could help finish your test?
真的?
Really?
嗯.
Yeah.
你要知道, 我的出版商认为并不是 所有的读者都知道…
You know, my publisher doesn’t think anybody’s gonna know
“衰老”一词的意思.
what the word “senescence” means.
你知道这个词吗?
Do you know what it means?
不. 请你不要动.
No. Please do sit still.
好吧.
Okay.
好的, 他们把考卷都放在文件室.
All right, they keep the tests in the file room.
我们就从这里穿过去吗?
We’re going through here?
他们早都筋疲力尽了, 不会注意到的. 相信我.
They’re so burned out they won’t notice. Trust me.
好吧. 可尔曼.
All right, all right, all right. Coleman.
安娜.可尔曼.
Anna Coleman.
哦, 感谢上帝, 谢谢你.
Oh, my gosh, thank you.
赶快完成你的试♥卷♥吧.
Now hurry up and finish your test.
你真了不起, 杰克.
You really are something, Jake.
我给你把风.
I’ll watch the door.
10秒钟后从广♥告♥切换到现场.
Back from commercial in 10.
我很喜欢你的书. 我实际上真的读了这本书.
Loved your book. I actually read this one.
起码我们两人中有一个读过了.
That makes one of us.
准备, 3, 2…
Ready and three, two.
欢迎大家回到现场.
Hi. Welcome back.
今天我们请到现场的, 是苔茜.可尔曼医生.
We’re here with Dr. Tess Coleman,
她同时也是”透过镜子, 看到衰老”…
author of “Through the Looking Glass,
一书的作者.
Senescence in Retrograde.”
那么医生, 跟大家谈谈你的新书吧.
So, Doctor, tell us about your new book.
嗯.
Well.
它是我写的.
I wrote it.
是的, 当然是.
Yes, you did.
还是跟我们谈谈, 是什么激起了你对…
But tell us, what got you interested
这种体力上和精神上的衰竭的兴趣?
in the physical and intellectual exhaustion
要知道这种衰竭, 一直困扰着我们中的那些…
that seems to overcome those of us
早已青春不在的人们.
who are, let’s say, no longer 20.
衰老, 就是岁数大了的意思,
Senescence, like senile!
是指老人!
Old people!
懂了, 我终于懂了!
Got it! Got it!
我们需要面对现实, 大部分时间, 我们都会感到疲惫不堪.
And let’s face it, we are tired much of the time.
所以我才会每天都离不开咖啡.
That’s why I’ve been craving caffeine all day.
我以为我离死不远了呢.
I thought I was dying.
可你还没有回答那个最基本的问题呢.
But you still haven’t answered the fundamental question.
为什么我们会感觉这么疲惫呢?
Why are we so tired?
我们当然会疲倦,
Well, of course we’re tired
这是因为我们的生活如此繁忙…
because of our demanding and hectic…
你想知道为什么成人永远是那样的 疲惫不堪吗?
Do you want to know why adults are so tired all the time?
因为他们总是被那些…
Because they spend their time obsessing
愚蠢, 琐碎的甚至没有必要去作的小事所困扰.
about these stupid, lame things they don’t really have to do.
就像是做饭.
Like cooking.
我是说, 你们难道不知道, 有种东西叫外卖♥♥的吗?
I mean, have you never heard of takeout?
还有打扫卫生?
And cleaning?
我们干脆别作, 然后就愣说作过了.
Let’s don’t and say we did!
花费精力在孩子身上? 你知道吗?
And quality time with your kids? You know what?
别在烦他们了!
Quit bugging ’em!
让他们自♥由♥自在吧, 他们喜欢那样.
Leave ’em alone! They like it!
我可不记得在你的书里读过这些啊.
I don’t remember reading any of this in your book.
这就叫做读书不能读表面, 要体会书中的深层含义.
Hello? It’s called reading between the lines!
哦, 天啊.
Oh, my God.
怎么了?
What?
那是我老妈.
That’s my mom.
你们应该尝试着去听一下摇滚乐,
Try listening to the Yeah Yeah Yeahs,
例如”葡萄酒”乐队, “饲者”乐队.
The Vines, The Breeders.
如果你觉得你听的热血彭湃的话,
And if you’re excited about something,
为什么还要刻意的压抑着自己呢?
why do you have to hold it in all the time?
你应该做的是尖叫.
You know, just scream about it!
好吧, 大家和我一起做.
Okay, do this with me.
设想一下, 有个帅哥要约你出去.
Let’s just say this cute guy asks you out.
我们要怎样做? 哇哦!
What are you gonna do? Whoo!
哇哦!
Whoo!
哇哦!
Whoo!
那样太可悲了.
That was pathetic!
你们这样克制自己的情绪, 当然会变老了!
You keep all that bottled up, no wonder you’re getting old!
我是说真的! 这可真是一个大帅哥!
I’m serious! This guy’s hot!
你们要怎样做?
What are you gonna do?
天啊, 你老妈太酷了.
God, your mom’s cool.
大声点, 我听不到!
I can’t hear you!
哇哦!
Whoo!
哦, 她死定了, 死无全尸.
Oh, she is dead. Worse than dead.
明年一年…