辣妈辣妹（2003）

你想干吗, 小杂毛?
What do you want, punk?
你怎么能这么跟他说话.
You cannot talk to him like that.
他以为你是的的妈妈呢 .
He thinks you’re his mother.
我们得告诉他.
We’re gonna to have to tell him.
我们谁也不能告诉.
We’re not going to tell anyone.
他们会认为我俩疯了的呢.
They’ll think we’re crazy.
也许我们是疯了.
Maybe we are crazy.
我可没疯.
I for one am not crazy.
我只是个被困在我女儿 体内的成熟♥女♥人.
I’m merely a grown woman trapped in my daughter’s body.
哦, 天啊, 我是疯了.
Oh, God, I am crazy.
爷爷, 把牛奶递给我.
Grandpa, could you pass the milk?
好的. 哈利还是哈利, 爷爷还是爷爷.
Okay. Harry’s still Harry, and Grandpa’s still Grandpa.
看来只是我俩的问题了. 我们到底哪里做错了?
So it’s just us. What did we do wrong?
我不知道.
I don’t know.
爷爷, 给我牛奶!
Grandpa, pass the milk!
爷爷, 给我牛奶!
Grandpa, pass the milk!
地震啦!
Earthquake.
地震!
Earthquake!
地震?
Earthquake?
张家餐馆!
House of Chang!
只有我们感觉到的. -地震!.
Nobody felt it but us. -Earthquake!
地震, 地震!
Earthquake, earthquake!
亲爱的.
Honey!
也好.
Okay.
我就应了吧.
I’ll take you.
我猜你还没准备好.
I guess you’re not ready yet.
心肝.
Sweetheart.
你来干吗?
What are you doing here?
你不是说让我载你去上班吗?
I thought you said you needed a ride to work.
是啊, 老妈.
Right, Mom.
你还是抓紧时间吧.
I guess you better hurry up.
省省吧你, 我才不会…
Get a grip. I am not —
亲爱的.
Darling.
你能在这候一会儿吗?
Could you, like, chill for a sec?
当然, 我在这候着.
Sure, sure, I’ll chill.
你得去. -我去找你♥爸♥爸.
You’re going. -I’ll, like, go get your dad.
艾伦, 那不是我们的车!
Alan, that’s not our car!
那个地震, 然后佩佩的疯妈妈…
The earthquake and then Pei-Pei’s crazy mother
指着我们.
pointing at me and you.
她用中文在嘟囔什么?
And what was she mumbling about in Chinese?
她肯定动了手脚. 可能是某种奇特的亚洲巫术.
She did something. Some strange Asian voodoo.
那我们现在怎么办? 我可不能这样去学校啊.
What are we gonna do now? I can’t go to school like this.
你必须去.
You have to.
你马上就要被学校开除了.
You’re on the verge of suspension,
你今天还要参加资格考试.
and you have your honors qualifying exam today.
那更给我不去的理由了.
All the more reason to stay home.
我可以去替你考试的.
I could go and take the exam for you.
这种高中考试, 对我来说是小菜一碟.
I’m sure a high test would be simple for me.
你开玩笑吧? 你能装出我的样子吗?
Are you kidding? You think you can be me?
我当然能. 看着.
Of course I can. Watch me.
“每个人都在和我作对. 你毁了我的生活!”
“Oh, everyone’s out to get me. You’re ruining my life.”
这么说装你更容易了.
It’s easy to be you.
只要把每件事弄的毫无生趣就好了.
I’ll suck the fun out of everything.
我才不是这样呢.
I do not suck the fun out of everything.
快乐杀手. -哦, 这简直太荒谬了.
Fun sucker. -Oh, this is ridiculous.
我替你去学校, 你就呆在这里…
I will go to school, and you will stay right…
什么事? -埃文.
What? -Evan.
埃文? 他是谁? -一个少了我活不下去的病人.
Evan? Who’s Evan? -My neediest patient.
我3年来每天都给他治疗.
I’ve been seeing him every day for three years.
哦, 真倒霉.
Ooh, bummer.
也许光凭我这张脸蛋, 就能治疗他心灵的创伤.
Maybe just my face would be reassuring.
没门.
No way. Unh-unh.
我才不去帮你照顾那些 40多岁的老疯子呢.
I am not babysitting some 40-year-old wack job.
我要和那个变♥态♥说什么?
What am I supposed to say to the freak?
什么也不用说. 你千万别给他们任何建议.
Nothing. You are in no way to give anyone any advice.
那样是不道德的.
That would be unethical.
你只需注意倾听, 偶尔点点头.
Just listen attentively, nod occasionally,
非说话不可的时候, 就说,
and if you must speak, simply say,
“你是如何看待这件事的?”
“How do you feel about that?”
你说真的呢?
You’re serious.
你真想我们来个身份大对调?
You really want us to be each other?
今天早上我们就扮成对方 来瞒天过海,
We will get through this morning as each other,
然后中午我们去到餐厅, 想法交换回来.
and we will go to the restaurant at lunch and get switched back.
去换衣服.
Go get dressed.
现在没了门, 祝你换衫愉快.
Well, good luck getting dressed without a door.
谢谢.
Thank you.
哦, 天啊.
Oh, boy.
你会习惯的.
You’ll get used to it.
怎么了?
What?
你扎了脐环?
You pierced your navel?
是的, 我正准备和你谈这事的.
Yeah. I meant to talk to you about that.
你什么时候扎的? -在麦迪的表妹的16岁的生日派对上.
When did you do this? -At Maddie’s cousin’s sweet 16.
等我们交换回来之后, 我要你好看.
Well, when you get your body back, it’s grounded.
你干吗呢?
And what are you doing?
我搞不懂为什么你从来不♥穿♥这些衣服. 多好看啊.
I don’t know why you never wear these. They’re cute.
穿着去卖♥♥圣经差不多. 你怎么把我的头发弄出那样子了!
Yeah, if you’re selling Bibles. And what did you do to my hair?
我可是先染发, 再梳成这个样子的.
I’ve been dying to comb these rats out.
这样就能看清你清秀的脸庞了.
Now you can see your pretty face.
这又是什么?
And what is this?
我修饰了一下你的牛仔裤.
Oh, I fixed your jeans.
我的病人每小时付150美金,
My patients are not going to pay $1 50 an hour
可不是为了向个脱衣舞♥女♥寻求帮助的.
to get therapy from a stripper.
好吧, 我就穿的朴素点.
All right. I’ll drab up.
我也穿的随意一些.
I’ll grunge down.
去吧.
Go.
你好.
What’s up?
脚放下来.
Feet down.
哈利, 你能老实点吗?
Harry, could you settle down?
做梦.
Bite me!
现在你看到他总背着你做什么了吧?
Do you see what he does behind your back?
安娜!
Anna!
老妈.
Mom.
抱歉.
Excuse me.
借此机会, 我想向车里的所有人说,
And while I’m apologizing, let me just say to the whole car
我为我长久以来的 疯狂的, 想约束其他人的变♥态♥行为,
how truly sorry I am
表示深深的歉意.
for being such an insane control freak all the time.
你并没有试图约束其他人, 老妈.
You’re not controlling, Mom.
要道歉的人, 应该事我.
I’m the one who should be apologizing
我总是只考虑到自己的感受.
for my flagrant disregard for anyone’s feelings but my own.
起码你对时尚很有品味.
Well, at least you have a great sense of style.
不像我. -够了.
Not like me. -Enough.
白金卡, 酷!
Platinum, cool.
你别打它的主意.
Don’t even think about it.
我被你们搞糊涂了.
Am I supposed to follow this?
没事的, 亲爱的.
It’s nothing, darling.
再忍♥一天.
One more day.
是啊, 我们能结婚太好了, 不是吗?
Yeah, it’s great we’re getting married, isn’t it?
即使是我的丈夫死了,
Even though my husband died.
我也能很快的忘掉这件事.
How quickly I’ve been able to get over it.
停车. 老妈, 你下来.
Just pull up here. Mom, out of the car.
如果你敢借助我的身体 来疏远莱恩的话.
If you manage to alienate Ryan in my body.
我会很乖的.
I’ll be nice.
但是别吻他.
But don’t kiss him.
哦, 老妈, 我可是刚吃过早餐的.
Oh, Mom, I just had breakfast.
那也太恶心了吧.
That’s disgusting.
好的.
Nice.
好吧, 这是出租车公♥司♥的电♥话♥号♥码.
Okay. Here is the number for the cab company.
我要你11:45准时回到这里.
I want you back here at 11:45 sharp.
好的.
All right.
你明白吗? -好的!
Do you understand? -All right!