四个房间（1995）

– [ Buzzing Continues ]
你真是个好人，泰德，谢谢
– You’re a good man, Ted. Thanks.
– [ Phone Slams Onto Receiver ]
[ Buzzing Continues ]
拉什先生，抱歉延误了接电♥话♥
Hello, Mr. Rush. Sorry for the delay.
我有什么可效劳的吗？
How can I help you?
顶楼套房♥~好莱坞大牌
[ Elevator Bell Dings ]
快他妈的滚出去！
[ Man ] Get your skanky asses the fuck outta here!
[ Elevator Bell Dings ]
[ Murmurs ]
房♥间服务
Room service.
你好，西奥多
Hello, Theodore.
– 你他……他妈的在这里干什么？
– 喝点酒
– What the f-fuck are you doing here?
– Havin’ a drink.
西格弗瑞德在这里吗？
Is Sigfried here?
你开玩笑吗？他可能要长眠到圣诞节了
Are you kidding? He’ll probably be asleep ’til Christmas.
嘿，各位，门房♥来了
Hey, everybody. The bellboy is here.
– 门房♥来了！
– 哦，天啊！操！
– [ Man ] The bellboy’s here!
– [ Man ] Oh, my God! Shit!
– 新年快乐！
– 吉祥！吉祥！
– Happy New Year!
– Entra! Entra!
嘿，门房♥！
Hey, bellboy!
– [ Sighs ]
– [ Man Laughing ]
拉什先生，抱歉让您久等了
Mr. Rush, I’m sorry I’m late.
但我……我想你会发现这里有你所有需要的东西，先生
But I, I think you’ll find I have everything you need, sir.
没问题的，门房♥朋友，没问题
No problema, el bellboy. No problema.
– 他叫西奥多
– 实际上，不是叫西奥多，我叫泰德
– His name is Theodore.
– Actually, it’s not Theodore. It’s Ted.
– 是泰德，先生
– 那么，泰德门房♥……
– It’s Ted, sir.
– So, Ted, the bellboy,
你想在听我说话时喝杯香槟吗？
would you care for some champagne as I was saying?
好吧，这不是我要说的
All right, that wasn’t what I was saying.
– 但你想喝杯香槟吗？
– 不，我还在值班，先生
– But would you care for some champagne?
– Um, I’m on duty, sir.
值班算个屁。来吧，这就像水晶香槟一样，是最好的香槟
Duty, smooty, come on. It’s like Cristal. It’s the very best they make.
我本来不喜欢香槟的，直到我喝到了水晶香槟。现在我爱上它了
I didn’t like champagne ’til I had Cristal. Now I love it.
– 来吧！
– 如果你坚持的话，先生
– Come on!
– If I must, sir.
– 正如我说的，请请
– 请请
– Yes. As I was saying, chin-chin.
– Chin-chin.
就我们来说，敏捷远不如周到重要
For our purposes, promptness is far behind thoroughness.
喝吧，小伙子……
Drink up, lad.
– 你怎么说？
– 啊，谢谢，先生
– [ Sighs ] What do you say?
– Ah, thank you, sir.
不，不是谢谢，酒的味道你会怎么说啊？
No, not thank you. What do you say about the tasty beverage?
嗯，哦，很不错
Um, oh, it’s very good.
是绝他妈的妙，泰德，绝他妈的妙！
It’s fucking good, Ted. Fucking good!
– 咱们再来一遍，好吗？
– 有火吗？
– Let’s try it again, shall we?
– Got a light?
好的，那么，泰德，你觉得酒的味道怎么样？
Okay, so, Ted, what do you think about that tasty beverage?
绝他妈的妙！先生
[ Clears Throat ] It’s fucking good, sir!
这是他妈的水晶香槟，其它香槟的都是尿水
It’s fucking Cristal. Everything else is piss.
门房♥，门房♥，门房♥！
[ Man ] Bellboy. Bellboy. Bellboy!
闭嘴，闭嘴！嘘！闭嘴！别让我的朋友泰德不自在
Shut up. Shut up! Shh! Shut up! You’re makin’ my friend Ted nervous.
放松，兄弟。不用理会诺曼
Chill out, dude. Pay no attention to Norman here.
他刚……他演过《四重人格》。他正他妈的和你在一起
He’s just… That’s from Quadrophenia. He’s just fuckin’ with you.
我个人一想起门房♥……
Now me, personally, when I think of bellboy,
就会想起杰瑞·路易斯演的《门房♥》
I think of The Bellboy with Jerry Lewis.
– 你看过那电影吗，泰德？
– 嗯……没有，先生
– Did you ever see that film, Ted?
– Um… no, sir.
哦，你该看看的，兄弟，那是杰瑞最好的电影之一
Oh, you should, man. It’s one of Jerry’s better movies.
他在片中一言不发
He doesn’t say a word through the entire film.
这是部完全的无声电影
It’s a completely silent performance.
现在还有多少演员能做到呢？
Now how many actors can pull that off?
我得说，那家伙，他得去法国获得尊重了
I gotta tell you, that guy, he’s gotta go to France to get respect.
整个美国这里提到它，你知道
That says it all about America right there, you know.
整个美国这里只有一小句话提到它
Just that one little sentence says it all about America right there.
杰瑞·路易斯去世时，这个操蛋的国家的每份报纸……
The minute Jerry Lewis dies, every newspaper in this fuckin’ country…
都会写出文章称他是天才
is gonna be writin’ articles callin’ the man a genius.
这不对，这不对也不他妈的公平！
It’s not right. It’s not right and it’s not fuckin’ fair!
但这又有什么可奇怪的呢？美国什么时候公平过？
But why should that surprise anybody? When the hell has America ever been fair?
我们或许曾偶尔正确过一些时候，但我们很少公平过
We might be right every once in awhile, but we’re very rarely fair.
哦，嗯……我该把这个放在哪里，先生？
Oh. Um… where shall I put this, sir?
你赶时间吗，泰德？
You in a hurry there, Ted?
呃，那个，嗯……也不是太赶时间
Uh, well, um… Not particularly.
那就好！好了，那就不要玩赶时间的游戏了
Good there! Okay, then gotta stop playin’ “Beat the Clock.”
好了，让我给你介绍大家。看到那边的那女郎了吗？
Okay. Let me introduce you to everybody. Now, see that girl over there?
好的，那是我们楼下的朋友
All right, that’s our friend from downstairs.
我们刚在泳池认识她的。你们好像是认识的
We just met her at the pool. You seem to be acquainted.
是的，西奥多和我是老交情了，对吧，西奥多？
Yeah, Theodore and I go way back, don’t we, Theodore?
[ Clears Throat ]
实际上，我的名字是泰德，安洁拉
Actually, the name’s Ted, Angela.
我只让用子弹上膛的枪顶着我脑袋的人叫我西奥多
I only let people with loaded guns pointed at my head call me Theodore.
坐在椅子上，这一位手里拿着占边威士忌……
The man sittin’ in this chair with the Jim Beam in his hand,
冲你喊着“门房♥”的仁兄是诺曼
yellin’ “Bellboy” at you is Norman.
诺曼，跟泰德打个招呼吧
– Norman, say hello to Ted.
– [ Blowing Party Favor ]
– 你好吗，泰德？
– 你好吗，先生？
– What’s up, Ted?
– What’s up, sir?
而在那边房♥间里善长交际的狗♥娘♥养♥的是里奥
And the sociable son of a bitch in that room over there is Leo.
电♥话♥那头是他可爱的妻子爱伦
And the person on the other end of the phone is his lovely wife Ellen.
– 里奥？
– 怎么了？
– Leo!
– What?
– 跟门房♥泰德打个招呼吧
– 等一下。什么？
– Say hello to Ted the bellboy.
– Hold on a second. What?
– 跟门房♥泰德打个招呼吧
– 这里，到这来
– Say hello to Ted the bellboy.
– Here. Come here.
哇哇哇哇！里奥，里奥，里奥，里—奥，里—奥！
– [ Chuckles ]
– Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Leo, Leo, Leo, L-Leo, L-Leo!
– 里奥，这是门房♥泰德
– 是我
– Leo, that is Ted the bellboy.
– That’s me.
20多分钟前我们给他打过电♥话♥
The bellboy we called about 20, 25 minutes ago.
哦，门房♥泰德，好吧，天啊
Oh, Ted the bellboy. Well, my goodness.
– 很高兴你终于能来了，伙计
– 很高兴我能来这里
– Glad you could make it, chum.
– Glad I could be here.
爱伦，爱和守时有什么关系？
– [ All Chuckling ]
– Ellen, what does punctuality have to do with love?
– 最后是介绍我
– 你能给我解释一下吗？求你了
– Which brings me to me.
– Could you explain that to me, please?
在下切斯特·拉什，幸会
Chester Rush, Ted. Pleased to meet ya.
– 幸会，先生
– 哦，叫我切斯特
– I’m pleased to meet you, sir.
– Oh, Chester.
不要“先生”，切斯特
Not “sir.” Chester.
切斯特？哦，切斯特
– Chester? Oh, Chester.
– [ Chuckles ]
嗯，很抱歉我从没有看过你的戏，先生，但……
Um, terribly sorry I haven’t seen the movie yet, sir, but…
不必担心，完全不必担心
No worries. No worries at all.
别担心，不要为这个抱歉
Don’t worry. Don’t be sorry about that.
你知道，这就是……这就是为什么上帝发明了录像，没问题
You know, it’s just, that’s why God invented video. No problem.
– 你说得有道理，先生
– 但你知道吗？
– You got a point, sir.
– But you know what?
有很多人看过，一大堆操蛋的畜生看过那电影
A lot of people did see it. Whole lot of motherfuckers saw that movie.
– 对吧？对吧？
– 一大堆……
– Didn’t they? Didn’t they?
– A whole lot…
很多畜生看过《The Wacky Detective》
– Lot of motherfuckers saw The Wacky Detective.
– [ Blows Party Favor ]
《The Wacky Detective》，先生
The Wacky Detective, sir.
– 谁最后从这里倒酒喝了？
– 呃？
– Who drank out of this bottle last?
– Uh?
我说，“谁最后从这里倒酒喝了？”
I said, “Who drank out of this bottle last?”
– 有什么问题？
– 全走气了，兄弟，这就是问题
– What the fuck’s wrong?
– It’s fuckin’ flat, man. That’s what’s fuckin’ wrong.
水晶香槟全走气了，瓶里连一点他妈的气泡都没有了，兄弟
Goddamn Cristal is fuckin’ flat. There ain’t a goddamn bubble left in the fuckin’ bottle, man.
– 天啊！这里怎么了？
– 冷静，兄弟
– Jesus Christ! What the fuck is goin’ on here?
– Chill out, man.
谁他妈的……谁……他妈……谁没有盖上塞子？