四个房间（1995）

[ Grunting ]
[ Exhales ]
我身陷困境……
I’m stuck in a situation here…
但简直不知道从哪说起
which I couldn’t possibly begin to explain.
我想知道的是：你觉得你可不可能……呃……
What I was wondering: Do you think you could, uh,
帮我报一下警，先生？
call the police, sir?
你没事吧，先生？先生？
Are you all right, sir? Sir?
冰
[ Grunts ] Ice.
– [ Vomits ]
– [ Toilet Flushes ]
呦嗬，西格弗瑞德
[ Ted ] Yoo-hoo. Sigfried.
哦，天啊！西格弗瑞德！
– Oh, my God! Sigfried!
– [ Muffled Shouting ]
安洁拉！
[ Ted ] Angela!
[ Muffled Shouting ]
[ Grunting ]
哦！哦！
[ Muffled ] Ohh! Ohh!
[ Panting ]
该死的硝化甘油呢？
Where is the fucking nitro?
– 找不到
– 你什么意思？你找不到？
– Couldn’t find it.
– What do you mean, you couldn’t find it?
解开我！我去找！
Untie me! I’ll find it!
是你的错，他很苦恼！现在他要死了！
It’s your fault he’s so upset! Now he’s dying!
我去找人帮忙！
I’ll get some help!
啊！
Aah!
我结了个很不错的结，是吧，泰德？
I tie a pretty good knot, don’t I, Ted?
西格弗瑞德！
– Sigfried!
– [ Chuckling ]
感谢上帝，你没事！
[ Gasps ] Thank God, you’re okay!
你这混♥蛋♥
– You bastard.
– [ Both Gasp ]
啊，亲爱的
Aw, honey.
不要生气，这只是个小小考验而已……
Don’t get mad. It was just a little test,
而我很高兴这么做了，因为现在我知道了……
and I’m glad that I did it, because now I know…
you love me forever,
你是永远爱我的……
真的爱我……
truly…
而且爱得很深
and deeply.
如果我不希望你横尸在地上这一简单事实就是真爱……
If the simple fact that I didn’t want your bloated, dead body lying out on the floor is love,
那么我们在此时此刻找到了真实的自己就不足为奇了
then no wonder we find ourselves as we are at this very moment.
哦，不，我听出你先前声音里真正的关心
Oh, no. I heard genuine care in your voice.
不容你否认，对吧，泰德？
Can’t be denied, can it, Ted?
我认为你是对的……
I think you’re right,
而且你们只要继续这么坦诚相对……
and if you just keep this kind of open dialogue going,
我觉得你们解决彼此间的误会就会有很大的进展
I think you’ll go a long way to resolving this misunderstanding.
你们会惊喜地发现，只要人们耐心倾听……
You’d be surprised what happens if people just listen…
就不用忍♥受痛苦和愤怒的折磨
without succumbing to all that pain and anger.
胡说八道，你这小丑。淫人♥妻♥子后大言不惭对你来说太容易了
You heard shit, monkey boy. Easy for you to say after you fuck another man’s wife.
[ Gasps ]
你至少应该有站出来承认……
You should at least have the guts to stand behind…
罪行的勇气
your convictions.
她在说谎，西格弗瑞德，我对天发誓
She’s lying, Sigfried. I swear to God.
你知道，每当我想起你所有插在我体内时……
You know, when I think of all the times you were inside me…
对我许的甜言蜜语，真是让我作呕
promising me a better life, it makes me wanna puke.
[ Whimpers ]
为什么你要这样对我？
[ Ted ] Why are you doing this to me?
我做了什么得罪了你们？
What have I ever done to you people?
你忘了吗？巨棍
What didn’t you do, stick man?
不幸的是，你的蛋蛋[胆量]跟你的大鸡♥巴♥毫不相衬
Unfortunately, you don’t have the balls to back up the actions of your huge cock.
不，不，不
No, no, no. [ Chuckling Nervously ]
他有根大鸡♥巴♥？
– He’s got a huge cock?
– [ Chuckles ]
哦，不，不，不，不
[ Chuckling ] Oh, no, no, no, no.
– 拿出来给我看看
– 没有那么大的
– Show it to me.
– It’s not that big. [ Chuckling ]
可以这样说：是天赋巨物
Put it this way: God made up for what he did to Gumby with Teddy here.
给我看！
Show it to me!
亮出你的鸡♥巴♥给他看吧，西奥多
– [ Whimpers ]
– Show him your cock, Theodore.
请不要再提他的鸡♥巴♥了！
– [ Squeaks ]
– Please stop talking about his cock!
像他那么大的鸡♥巴♥，不谈是很难的
Well, it’s hard to stop talking about something that’s so huge.
我是说，我可以不停地形容他的鸡♥巴♥……
I mean, I could go on and on about his cock,
他的棍……
his bone,
– 他的门把手……
– 嘘
– his knob,
– Shh.
他的大主教
– [ Gasping ]
– his bishop,
大竹杆、大铁棒、大热棒、大棍……
wang, thang, rod, hot rod, humpmobile,
奥斯卡、神剑、匕♥首♥、香蕉……
Oscar, dong, dagger, banana,
黄瓜、意大利香肠……
[ Muffled ] cucumber, salami,
香肠、波兰熏肠、德国腊肠……
sausage, kielbasa, schlong,
丁克、工具、大本钟、幸福先生、彼得、啄木鸟……
– dink, tool, Big Ben, Mr. Happy, peter, pecker,
– [ Moaning ]
尿尿、嘘嘘、维也纳香肠、撒尿东西、手♥枪♥、大棒骨、水管、号♥角……
pee-pee, wee-wee, wiener, pisser, pistol, joint, hose, horn,
中间腿、第三条腿、大肉……
middle leg, third leg, meat,
手杖、控制杆、机油标尺……
[ Muffled ] stick, joystick, dipstick,
独眼怪、西奥多二世、小光头……
– one-eyed wonder, Junior, little head,
– [ Bell Rings ]
小大人、Rumple Foreskin、爱心糖果……
little guy, Rumple Foreskin, Tootsie Roll,
爱的肌肉、肉笛……
love muscle, skin flute,
管道疏通器、大蛇……
– [ Sigfried Moaning ]
– Roto-Rooter, snake…
拜托不要说了！
[ Sigfried ] Please don’t go!
[ Door Slams ]
大锤、夯土机、播种机……
– [ Sigfried Sobbing ]
– [ Angela ] Hammer, rammer, Spammer,
火箭筒、橡皮擦、胖子、胶棒、啤酒瓶
bazooka, rubber, chubby, sticky, stubby.
嘿，你知道404号♥房♥在哪吗，伙计？
Hey, do you know where room 404 is, man,
因为我本该在这个聚会上，并且……
’cause I was up at this party, and…
我绝对完全不知道！
I have absolutely no idea!
哦
[ Sputtering ] Oh.
舒梅克、舒马克、舒凡兹、阴阳、阳物……
[ Angela ] Schmeck, schmuck, schvantz, ying-yang, yang…
– 哇！我是西奥多
– 什么？
– [ Man ] Whoa! I’m Theodore.
– [ Sigfried ] What?
你很准时，西奥多
[ Angela ] Well, you’re right on time, Theodore.
但我们不要在你没有……
[ Sigfried ] Let’s not beleaguer the fact…
时间概念这个事实上争论了
that you have no sense of timing.
重要的是……
The fact is…
你到了
[ Pistol Cocks ] you’re here.
三零九号♥房♥~行为不端
[ Buzzing ]
[ Buzzing Continues ]
前台
Front desk.
一瓶香槟，要快
Bottle of champagne. Fast.
站好
Stand still.
我说了站好，不要弄脏了西装
I said stand still. You’re gonna ruin your suit.
到这来，到这来
Come here. Come here.
给我那个
Gimme that.
让我看看
Let me see.
那里，那里，看到吗？你看到吗？
There. There, you see? You see?
嗯？你头发像这样向后梳显得好看得多了
Huh? You look good with your hair back like this.
像我一样，像我一样
Like me. Like me.
不要向下和向边上梳，那样全都很愚蠢……
Not down and to the side, all stupid…
就像你妈妈喜欢梳的样式
like your mother likes to comb it.
不，不
No. No.
– 像这样
– 噢
– Like this. [ Grunts ]
– [ Whispers ] Ow.
– [ Grunts ]
– [ Winces ]
[ Growling ]
给我这个
Gimme this.
[ Grunts ]
没辙
Impossible.
你遗传了你妈妈的头发，无法可施
You’ve got your mother’s hair. You can’t do anything with it.
好了，去吧，去吧
There. Go. Go.
[ Wincing ]
你的头发怎么会弄到这么乱糟糟的，嗯？
How did you get your hair in such a tangled mess, huh?
行了，走吧，弄完了
There. Go. Finished.
[ TV Clicks On ]
今晚我们会尽兴吗？
Are we gonna have fun tonight?
看来不会了
I didn’t think so.
嘿
Hey.
把孩子留下怎么样？
What about leaving the kids here?
– 呣？
– 把他们自己留在这房♥间里？
– Hmm?
– Here in the room, all by themselves?