搏击俱乐部

Babies don’t sleep this well.
我变得
I became…
上瘾了
addicted.
如果我一言不发 人们总会以为我的情况最糟
If I didn’t say anything, people always assumed the worst.
他们哭得越凶
They cried harder…
我就哭得越凶
then I cried harder.
现在让我们打开那扇绿门 你的心门
Now we’re going to open the green door, the heart chakra…
我并非真的不久人世
I wasn’t really dying.
也没有癌症或是寄生虫
I wasn’t host to cancer or parasites.
我是被芸芸众生环绕的温暖小小中心
I was the warm little center that the life of this world crowded around.
将你遭受的痛苦想像成一个散发着治愈之光的白色光球
Imagine your pain as a white ball of healing light.
它在你身上游移 治疗着你
It moves over your body, healing you.
继续冥想 记得呼吸
Now keep this going. Remember to breathe.
现在向前走出房♥间的后门
And step forward through the back door of the room.
那道门通向何方呢
Where does it lead?
通向你的洞穴
To your cave.
向前迈进你的洞穴
Step forward into your cave.
就是这样
That’s right.
你越来越深地走入你的洞穴
You’re going deeper into your cave,
你会在那里找到
and you’re going to find…
你的灵魂动物
your power animal.
滑呀
Slide.
每个晚上 我都会死一次
Every evening I died.
每个晚上 我又会重生
And every evening I was born again.
脱胎换骨
Resurrected.
Bob爱跟我搭档 因为他以为我也切除了睾丸
Bob loved me because he thought my testicles were removed too.
来到互助会 靠着他的奶♥子♥ 准备放声哭泣
Being there, pressed against his tits, ready to cry.
这就是我的假期
This was my vacation.
但她
And she…
却毁了一切
ruined everything.
这里是癌症的 对吧
This is cancer, right?
这个妞儿 Marla Singer 根本没得睾丸癌
This chick, Marla Singer, did not have testicular cancer.
她就是个骗子
She was a liar.
她根本什么病都没有
She had no diseases at all.
我在周四的”清白自♥由♥”血液寄生虫患者互助会上见过她
I had seen her at Free And Clear, my blood parasites group, Thursdays.
然后是每月两次的”希望”镰状细胞贫血症患者互助会
Then at Hope, my bimonthly sickle-cell circle.
接着是周五晚的”把握当下”肺结核患者互助会
And again at Seize The Day, my tuberculosis, Friday night.
Marla 这个到处都去的女人
Marla, the big tourist.
她的谎言反映出我的谎言
Her lie reflected my lie.
突然间 我又失去了感觉
And suddenly, I felt nothing.
我哭不出来 所以再一次 我失眠了
I couldn’t cry. So once again, I couldn’t sleep.
下次互助会 引导冥想结束后
Next group, after guided meditation,
我们打开心门之后 开始拥抱的时候
after we open our heart chakras, when it’s time to hug,
我要抓着Marla Singer那贱♥人♥大喊
I’m gonna grab that bitch, Marla Singer, and scream:
Marla 你个骗子 到处都去的贱♥人♥ 我需要这个 快给我滚
Marla, you liar! You big tourist! I need this! Now, get out!
我已经四天没睡觉了
I hadn’t slept in four days.
我们只要等它干了以后
We’ll just let that dry…
当你得了失眠症 你永远无法真的睡着
When you have insomnia, you’re never really asleep,
也永远无法真正清醒
and you’re never really awake.
今晚的交流会 将由Chloe给我们做开场白
To begin tonight’s communion, Chloe would like to say a few words.
对了 Chloe
Oh, yeah. Chloe.
Chloe就像是一具梅丽尔·斯特里普的骨架
Chloe looked the way Meryl Streep’s skeleton would look
在颁奖派对上微笑走动 对每个人都倍加和善
if you made it smile and walk around the party being extra nice to everybody.
梅丽尔·斯特里普是美国著名女演员
至此电影放映之时 已获得9次奥斯卡最佳女主角提名 却只获奖1次
我还站在这里
Well, I’m still here.
虽然不知道还能有多久
But I don’t know for how long.
也没人能给我个准确的答案
That’s as much certainty as anyone can give me.
但我有个好消息
But I’ve got some good news.
面对死亡 我不再恐惧了
I no longer have any fear of death.
可是 我现在觉得好孤独
But… I am in a pretty lonely place.
没人愿意跟我上♥床♥
No one will have sex with me.
我的生命就快走到尽头 我只希望最后做一次爱
I’m so close to the end, and all I want is to get laid for the last time.
我家里准备了A片 还有润滑剂和春♥药♥
I have pornographic movies in my apartment, and lubricants and amyl nitrite.
谢谢你 Chloe
Thank you, Chloe.
让我们感谢Chloe
Everyone, let’s thank Chloe.
谢谢你 Chloe
Thank you, Chloe.
现在 准备跟我进入冥想
Now, let’s ready ourself for guided meditation.
你正站在你的洞穴的入口处
You’re standing at the entrance of your cave.
你踏进洞穴里 慢慢走着
You step inside your cave and you walk…
如果真的长了肿瘤 我就叫它Marla
If I did have a tumor, I’d name it Marla.
Marla 就像你上膛处的小划伤
Marla, the little scratch on the roof of your mouth
只要你忍♥住不舔就会痊愈 但你就是忍♥不住
that would heal if only you could stop tonguing it, but you can’t.
再走深入一点
…deeper into your cave as you walk.
你感到有一股治疗的能量环绕着你
You feel a healing energy in this place all around you.
现在找到你的灵魂动物
Now find your power animal.
滑呀
Slide.
好了 开始分组吧
OK. Let’s partner up.
选一个今晚对你来说特别的人
Pick someone special to you tonight.
嘿
Hey.
– 我们得谈谈 – 好啊
– We need to talk. – Sure.
– 我知道你的底细 – 什么
– I’m onto you. – What?
没错 你就是个骗子 你根本不是快死了
Yeah. You’re a faker. You’re not dying.
你说什么
Sorry?
根据藏族哲学 或是西尔维娅·普拉斯的诗句 我们都终有一死
In the Tibetan-philosophy, Sylvia Plath sense of the word, I know we’re all dying.
西尔维娅·普拉斯是一位重要的美国女诗人 自杀时年仅31岁
但你不是像Chloe那样真的要死了
But you’re not dying the way Chloe back there’s dying.
所以呢
So?
你什么互助会都参加 好嘛
So you’re a tourist, OK?
我看到过你 黑素瘤患者互助会 肺结核患者互助会
I’ve seen you. I saw you at melanoma, I saw you at tuberculosis.
甚至在睾丸癌患者互助会还看到你
I saw you at testicular cancer!
看来你之前练过了吧
I saw you practising this.
– 练什么 – 数落我这一大段啊
– Practising what? – Telling me off.
跟你希望的一样顺利吗 “Rupert”
Is it going as well as you hoped… “Rupert”?
– 我要去揭发你 – 去啊 我也会揭发你
– I’ll expose you. – Go ahead. I’ll expose you.
好了 大家一起 哭出来吧
All right. Come together. Let yourselves cry.
老天 你为什么要这么做
Oh, God. Why are you doing this?
比看电影便宜 还有免费咖啡喝
It’s cheaper than a movie and there’s free coffee.
听着 这对我很重要 好吗
Look, this is important, OK?
这些是我的互助会 我已经参加一年多了
These are my groups. I’ve been coming here for over a year.
你又是为什么
Why do you do it?
不知道 人们以为你快死的时候
I don’t know. When people think you’re dying,
他们真的 真的会用心倾听你 而不是
they really, really listen to you instead of just…
不是充耳不闻 只等着轮到自己说话
Instead of waiting for their turn to speak.
是啊
Yeah.
没错
Yeah.
完全 彻底地打开你的心扉吧
Share yourself, completely.
听着 继续下去你会后悔的 这会上瘾
Look, you don’t want to get into this. It becomes an addiction.
是嘛
Really?
我说真的 还有个骗子在我就完全哭不出来 而我需要哭
I’m not kidding. I can’t cry if there’s another faker at present, and I need this.
所以你就换个地方去吧
So you gotta find somewhere else to go.
去癌症病房♥当志愿陪聊呗 关我屁事
Candy-stripe a cancer ward. It’s not my problem.
不 等等
No, wait a second.
别 别走
Hol… hold on.
这样吧 我们每周平分好了 淋巴瘤和肺结核都给你
I tell you, we’ll split up the week, OK? You take lymphoma and tuberculosis.
肺结核你留着吧 我烟瘾太大
You take tuberculosis. My smoking doesn’t go over at all.
好 没问题 那睾丸癌总没有争议吧
OK. Good. Fine. Testicular cancer should be no contest, I think.
严格意义来讲 我比你有资格去 你的睾丸还健在啊
Technically, I have more right to be there than you. You still have your balls.
– 你开玩笑呢吧 – 不知道 你看像吗
– You’re kidding. – I dunno. Am I?
不 不
No. No.
你到底想怎样
What do you want?
我想要寄生虫那俩
I’ll take the parasites.
你不能两个都要 血液寄生虫给你好了
You can’t have both the parasites, but why don’t you take the blood parasites?
我要脑部寄生虫
I want brain parasites.
那我要血液寄生虫 但我要器质性脑痴呆
I’ll take the blood, but I’m gonna take the organic brain dementia.
那个我要
I want that.
整个脑子总不能都归你吧
You can’t have the whole brain.
现在你有四个 我只有两个
So far, you have four. I only have two.
好吧
OK.
寄生虫那俩都给你 我们都有三个了
Take both the parasites. They’re yours. Now we both have three…
嘿 你有一半衣服没拿
Hey! You left half your clothes.
– 搞什么 你是拿来卖♥♥的 – 是的 我要卖♥♥几件衣服
– What, are you selling those? – Yes, I’m selling some clothes.