春天不是读书天（1986）

（今天是芝加哥美好的一天）
It is a beautiful day in Chicago today.
（气温预计华氏70多度）
Temperatures expected to reach the upper 70s.
（现在，湖边是75度）
Right now, 75 at the lakefront,
（中途国际机场74度，欧海尔机场73度）
74 at Midway, 73 at O’Hare.
（现在空中…）
And now, up in the sky,
春天不是读书天
（唐·尼尔森在查看路况） – 费利斯？
Don Nelson with SkyView traffic. – Ferris?
（谢了，我们收到了路况） – 费利斯？
Thanks. We’ve got scores of accidents. – Ferris?
汤姆！
Tom!
怎么回事？ – 是费利斯
What’s the matter? – It’s Ferris.
怎么回事？ – 我的天，怎么回事？
What? What’s wrong? – What’s wrong? For Christ’s sake
你看他
look at him, honey.
费利斯？
Ferris?
他没有发烧，但是他说胃痛而且眼花
He doesn’t have a fever, but he says his stomach hurts and he’s seeing spots.
什么状况，费利斯？
What’s the matter, Ferris?
爸爸？
Papa?
你摸摸他的手，又冷又湿
Honey, feel his hands. They’re cold and clammy.
我很好
I’m fine.
我能起床 – 不行
I can get up. – No.
今天有测验 – 不行
I have a test today. – No.
你…
You…
我一定要去
I have to take it.
我要上好大学，才有丰美的人生
I want to go to a good college, so I can have a fruitful life.
乖儿子，你这样子不能上学
Honey, you’re not going to school like this, now.
这下可好，他又怎么了？
Fine. What’s this? What’s his problem?
他不舒服 – 是吗
He doesn’t feel well. – Yeah, right.
他手上的水可以灌溉草坪了
Dry that one out, you can fertilize the lawn.
珍妮？是你吗？
Jeanie? Is that you?
珍妮，你站那么远我看不见
Jeanie? I can’t see that far.
珍妮…我…
Jeanie? Jeanie, I…
老哥，别装蒜 – 谢谢，珍妮，你去上学吧
Bite the big one, Junior. – Thank you, Jeanie. You get to school.
你们要让他待在家？
Wait, you’re letting him stay home?
我不敢相信，就算是我的眼睛流血
I can’t believe this. If I was bleeding out my eyes
你们还会要我上学，这不公平
you guys would make me go to school. This is so unfair.
珍妮，别为我担忧
Jeanie, please don’t be upset with me.
谢天谢地，你的身体健康
You have your health. Be thankful.
我受够了，我要离家出走
That’s it. I want out of this family.
我没事，我会睡觉
I’m okay. I’ll just sleep.
也许中午的时候会吃止痛药
Maybe I’ll have an aspirin around noon.
我今天会带佛蒙特来的一家人去看♥房♥♥子
Now, listen, I’m showing some houses to that,
就在这附近
that family from Vermont today. So I’ll be in the area.
若要找我，问我的同事便可以
Now, my office will know just where I am if you need me, okay?
好的 – 好的
Okay. – Okay.
我也会了解你的状况
I’ll check on you too, pal.
很高兴有这么慈爱我、关心我的爸妈
It’s nice to know that I have such loving, caring parents.
你们真是特别的父母
You’re both very special people.
赶快好起来，小南瓜
Now, you get better, pumpkin.
好的，小南瓜
Okay, pumpkin.
我准六点到家
I’ll be home at 6:00 sharp.
如果需要任何东西，打电♥话♥来
If you need anything, call.
打电♥话♥
Ringy- dingy.
爱你，乖儿子 – 我也爱你们
We love you, sweetie. – I love you, too.
有需要随时来电
Call if you need us.
他们竟然相信了
They bought it.
难以置信
Incredible.
我演得最烂的一次
One of the worst performances of my career
他们竟然没有怀疑
and they never doubted it for a second.
这么美好的日子，我怎么能上学呢？
How could I possibly be expected to handle school on a day like this?
这是我这学期第九次缺席
This is my ninth sick day this semester.
要想出缺席的病因愈来愈难了
It’s getting pretty tough coming up with new illnesses.
下次再想请病假 我大概要把肺咳出来才行
If I go for 10, I’m probably gonna have to barf up a lung.
我要好好利用今天的病假
So I better make this one count.
欺骗父母生病，关键就在潮湿的手掌
The key to faking out the parents is the clammy hands.
这是最好的非特定病征 这招每次都有效
It’s a good non- specific symptom. I’m a big believer in it.
有些人很笨，喜欢假装发烧
A lot of people will tell you that a good, phony fever is a dead lock.
如果你妈紧张过度，你就得去看医生了
But, you get a nervous mother, you could wind up in a doctor’s office.
这比上学还惨
That’s worse than school.
假装胃痉挛
You fake a stomach cramp
然后当你弯腰呻♥吟♥的时候
and when you’re bent over, moaning and wailing,
舔湿你的手掌
you lick your palms.
有点幼稚愚蠢
It’s a little childish and stupid,
就像念高中一样
but then, so is high school.
人生苦短
Life moves pretty fast.
如果不偶尔停下来看看 你就会错失生命
If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.
我今天真的有测验，这不是唬烂
I do have a test today. That wasn’t bullshit.
测验欧洲社♥会♥主♥义♥，那又如何？
It’s on European socialism. I mean, really, what’s the point?
我不是欧洲人，也不打算去欧洲
I’m not European. I don’t plan on being European.
他们是社♥会♥主♥义♥关我屁事？
So, who gives a crap if they’re socialists?
就算是法♥西♥斯♥无政♥府♥主义
They could be fascist anarchists.
也无法改变我没有车的事实
It still wouldn’t change the fact that I don’t own a car.
并非我接受法♥西♥斯♥主义
It’s not that I condone fascism
或任何主义
or any “ism,” for that matter.
我的想法是 所有的主义都是不好的
“Isms,” in my opinion, are not good.
人们不该相信主义，应该相信自己
A person should not believe in an “ism,” he should believe in himself.
引用约翰·蓝侬的话 “我不相信披头四，我相信自己”
I quote John Lennon, “I don’t believe in Beatles, I just believe in me.”
有道理，毕竟他是大人物
A good point there. After all, he was “The Walrus.”
就算我是大人物，也要搭别人的顺风车
I could be “The Walrus.” I’d still have to bum rides off of people.
亚当斯？ – 有
Adams? – Here.
亚当利？ – 有
Adamley? – Here.
亚当莫斯基？
Adamowsky?
亚当森？ – 有
Adamson? – Here.
艾德勒？ – 有
Adler? – Here.
安德森？
Anderson?
安德森？ – 有
Anderson? – Here.
布勒？
Bueller?
布勒？
Bueller?
布勒？
Bueller?
布勒？ – 他生病了
Bueller? – He’s sick.
我闺密的姐姐的男友的兄弟的女朋友
My best friend’s sister’s boyfriend’s brother’s girlfriend
听说有个认识的小鬼 昨晚这小鬼和女孩外出的时候
heard from this guy who knows this kid, who’s going
看见费利斯昏倒在三一冰淇淋店
with a girl who saw Ferris pass out at Thirty- One Flavors last night.
我想一定很严重
I guess it’s pretty serious.
谢谢你，席梦 – 别客气
Thank you, Simone. – No problem whatsoever.
富莱？富莱？
Frye? Frye?
富莱？
Frye?
喂
Hello?
卡麦隆宝贝，怎么啦？ – 没什么
Cameron, babe, what’s happening? – Very little.
感觉如何？ – 快死了
How do you feel? – Shredded.
你妈在房♥间里吗？
Is your mother in the room?
她在迪凯特 很不幸，她不会留在那里
She’s in Decatur. Unfortunately, she’s not staying.
你在哪里？
Where are you?
我今天休假 你穿上衣服赶快过来
I’m taking the day off. Now get dressed and come on over.
不行，蠢货，我病了
I can’t, stupid, I’m sick.
那是你的幻想
That’s all in your head.
快过来
Come on over.
我觉得糟透了，费利斯 我哪里也不想去
I feel like complete shit, Ferris. I can’t go anywhere.
实在很遗憾，快开车过来接我
I’m sorry to hear that. Now come on over here and pick me up.
我快死了
I’m dying.
你不会死，你只是无所事事罢了
You’re not dying. You just can’t think of anything good to do.
卡麦隆绝对需要休假
If anybody needs a day off, it’s Cameron.
毕业之前，他有很多事情要理清楚
He has a lot of things to sort out before he graduates.
他不能包紧紧地去上大学
He can’t be wound up this tight and go to college.
室友会杀了他
His roommate will kill him.
卡麦隆停留在埃及之地
When Cameron was in Egypt’s land
（出埃及记）
放卡麦隆走吧
Let my Cameron go
粗俗的说，卡麦隆太紧张了
Pardon my French, but Cameron is so tight
如果把一节木炭塞进他的屁♥眼♥
that if you stuck a lump of coal up his ass,
两周后就会变成钻石
in two weeks you’d have a diamond.
凯蒂·布勒
Katie Bueller.
我是艾德华·鲁尼，训导主任
This is Edward R. Rooney, Dean of Students.