色衰应召男（2013）

我只是有点抓狂，因为
我刚从艾滋公益活动回来。
So…
那么…
– We’re really going to do this?
– We’re definitely going to do it.
– 我们真的要这么做么？
– 我们绝对要这么做。
I mean, I’m not going to be there.
我是说，我不会在那儿。
– Okay.
– You know, I just have to,
– 好的。
– 你知道，我…我只是得…
you know, check out his availability,
你知道，看一下他何时有空，
because, you know,
he’s highly in demand.
因为，呃…你知道，
他很…抢手的。
Lover boy. What are you
doing in that closet?
美男子，你躲在壁橱里干嘛呢？
Checking for lice.
检查虱子。
– He’s always checking for something.
– Oh my god.
– 他总喜欢检查什么。
– 噢，我的天哪。
You need a young,
slick, leading man type.
你该去找个年轻、
光鲜、演主角的类型。
This is exactly my point.
我正是这个意思！
I am not a beautiful man.
我不是个漂亮的人。
Did I say you were beautiful?
But you have a different quality.
我说你漂亮了吗？
但你有与众不同的气质。
You have a certain kind of sex appeal.
你有某种性方面的吸引力。
– Thank you.
– Is Mick Jagger a beautiful man?
– 谢谢。
– 米克…米克·贾格尔漂亮吗？
The guy opens his mouth to sing.
It’s a horror.
那家伙只要一开口唱…
唱得太恐怖了。
But he’s hot. Mick is hot.
And that’s what you have.
但他很惹火，米克很惹火，
你也会很惹火。
Let me ask you a question.
我来问你一下：
You look good without
your clothes, right?
你脱♥光♥了之后
看上去挺好的，对吧？
How do you know?
你怎么知道？
Because some guys just look
better when they’re naked.
因为有些人脱♥光♥了
就是比穿衣服好看。
I figured you’re one.
我猜…你也是之一。
What does that have to
do with Mick Jagger?
这和米克·贾格尔
有个屁的关系啊？
He’s rich and he’s famous.
他那么有钱，那么有名。
Yes, but you’re sexy.
是啊，可你很性感啊。
– Says who?
– Says me.
– 谁说的？
– 我啊，我说的。
You’re a sick man.
You need help.
你真是有病，得去治。
I go for help twice a week.
我每周去治两次呐。
You need a guy like…
Tom Ford or George Clooney.
你应该去找像汤姆·福特
或乔治·克鲁尼那样的人。
You’re not that.
You’re a… you’re a…
你和他们不同，
你是…你是…
a man’s man in a certain way.
从某种意义上来说，
你是男人中的男人。
You’re… you know,
you’re not afraid to get dirty.
你…你知道…
你不害怕弄脏自己，
You get your hands dirty.
You’re working with plants. Earth.
你弄脏双手，
摆弄植物，玩泥巴；
You’re with wires and plumbing
and drain pipes and bowls, you know.
你…你捣鼓那些电线、
水管下水道、便池马桶，你知道。
You do disgusting work.
You’re not afraid…
你尽干些恶心的活，
你不害怕…
Hey. You’re disgusting
in a very positive way.
嘿！你很恶心，
恶心得相当正面就是了。
Thank you.
That’s always nice to hear.
谢谢，
听君一席言，胜读十年书。
You know, women…
你知道，女人…
women have always liked you.
All kinds of women.
女人总是很喜欢你，
各种各样的女人。
You do great with them.
你和她们都处得很好。
Blondes, brunettes, redheads,
Asian women.
金发的、黑发的、红发的，
亚裔女子…
– Pregnant women.
– Not for money.
– 孕妇……
– 不是为钱。
Hey. Am I saying “for money”?
嘿，我说你是“为钱”了吗？
You’re going to make somebody happy here.
我是说你可以让她们幸福。
Listen, I’m not a young man.
听着，我已经不再年轻。
– You understand?
– You’re not young.
– 明白吗？
– 你是不年轻了，
But you’re an experienced lover.
Why shouldn’t you get paid for it?
但你是情场中的高手啊，
为什么不依此挣点钱呢？
– Am I your friend?
– You’re more than a friend.
– 我是你朋友吗？
– 不能再铁的朋友。
And you want to turn me into a ho?
你想把我变成“鸭子”？
MURRAY: Would I…
Would I steer you wrong?
莫瑞: 我给你…
我给你指错过道吗？
So what’s the split?
那怎么分成呢？
Okay. Now, now we
can discuss things.
好了，这样…这样我们
就可以谈正事了。
I didn’t say I was interested.
I want to know, what would it be?
我没说我有兴趣，
我只是想知道你会怎么分。
Well, you know, an agent
gets 10% usually.
唔，你知道，经纪人
一般都抽百分之10；
A manager will take 15%.
经理人要抽百分之15；
The guys in the art
galleries get 50%.
而美术馆的人
要拿走百分之50，
– They split 50-50.
– Mm-hmm.
– 他们是对半分。
– 嗯哼。
I’d say 60/40 would be nice.
我的建议是，六♥四♥开就不错。
You know, favoring you.
Favoring you.
我是说，你拿大头，
你拿大头。
All right, let me think about it.
好吧，呃…让我考虑考虑。
As soon as we get the
lice out of his head,
等我们除干净他头上的虱子，
I’ll take you on the carousel.
我立马带你们去坐旋转木马。
– Can I go on The Twister?
– Yeah, we’ll do it all.
– 我能坐云霄飞车吗？
– 好的，我们…我们一起坐。
You know, I just want
to get him de-loused.
你知道，现在我只想
赶紧给他除虱。
– I got a question, Uncle Mo.
– What?
– 我有个问题，莫伯伯。
– 什么？
Why do all these people have…
为什么这些人都留着…
– What?
– Curlies and beards?
– 什么？
– 卷毛鬓角和胡子？
Yeah, and sideburns.
是啊，都是连鬓胡。
For warmth. It’s for warmth.
为了保暖，那是为了保暖。
(BRAKES SCREECHING)
(CARS CRASHING)
(刺耳刹车声)
(汽车撞击声)
– Unbelievable.
– I was merging!
– 难以置信！
– 我想并道，
I was merging right
straight across the street.
我想过这条街后就并道。
What are you, blind, cowboy?
There’s a stop sign right there!
你怎么回事？瞎了吗，牛仔？
没看到那里“禁止通行”的牌子吗？
– What’s the matter with you people?
– Excuse me…
– 你们这些人到底是怎么回事？
– 对不起……
In the car with a herniated disc.
…在车上，她有椎间盘突出。
If anything happens to her,
let me tell you something,
如果她有什么闪失，
你给我听好了：
There’s going to be a big problem here.
你就麻烦大发了。
– I don’t want any trouble.
– You got to be kidding me!
– 我没想惹麻烦。
– 简直岂有此理！
(MEN SHOUTING)
(男人叫喊声)
What happened?
出什么事了？
– Watch your tzitzit!
– Thanks, Dovi!
– 当心你的流苏卷车里！
– 谢谢，大卫！
【犹太人穿戴的披肩和服装