《衰哥牛郎》
(《旧作新读丛书
莎士比亚〈暴风雨〉》)
MURRAY: You know, my
grandfather started the shop,
莫瑞: 你知道，
我爷爷开了这家店，
(施瓦兹父子书店
专营珍本书和旧书)
my father had it, and now
I have to close it.
我父亲继承了，而现在，
我…不得不关了它。
This is the end of an era, my friend.
这是一个时代的终结，我的朋友。
Let me tell you.
我跟你说吧，
Nowadays, only…
rare people buy rare books.
现如今，很少有人/尊贵的人
（才）会买♥♥珍贵的书。
You’ll get back on your feet.
你会恢复元气的。
Hey, I have a very funny
story to tell you.
嘿，我要告诉你一件
非常好玩的事情。
– Mm-hmm.
– Today I was at my dermatologist’s
– 嗯哼。
– 今天我去看我的皮肤病大夫，
for a little procedure, nothing serious.
一个小检查，没什么要紧的。
You know, I’m talking to her for a while.
你知道，我和她聊了一会儿天。
– Mm-hmm.
– She tells me she was with her girlfriend,
– 嗯哼。
– 她告诉我她和她女朋友在一起时，
and they… they were discussing things.
And they came to the conclusion
她们…她们谈起了很多事情，
最后得出了这样一个结论：
that they both wanted to have a ménage.
她们俩都想来一个“三人行”。
This is what she tells me.
她就是这么跟我说的。
And I… I’m flabbergasted.
I say, “A ménage a trois?”
我…我大吃一惊，
问她是“三陪吗？”
And she said, “Yeah.”
This is what she wants.
她说“没错！”
她就是想要三陪。
– This came out of nowhere.
– Out of nowhere.
– 这可太莫名奇妙了。
– 是啊，很莫名其妙。
The… apparently, she and her girlfriend
显然…她和她女朋友…
want to experience,
you know, a threesome.
…想体验一下，
你知道，呃…三人狂欢。
And… and she asked me, do I know anybody?
她问我认不认识什么人？
And I… I said… I said, “Yeah.
我…我说…我说：“认识啊。
“I know somebody, but it’ll
cost you a thousand bucks.”
“我认识个人，不过那得
让你破费一千块钱。”
And… And you know, the truth is,
你…你知道，事实上，
I was thinking of you.
我当时想到的是你。
– Me?
– Why not?
– 我？
– 为什么不呢？
You… You were always great with women.
你…你总是很有女人缘。
And, you know, she’s attractive.
She’s round and curvaceous…
你知道，她很有魅力的，
丰满圆润、玲珑有致……
I saw a photograph of
her friend in a thong.
我还看过她女友的一张
穿着丁字裤的照片，
And her friend is a
crippler, and she’s…
她女友简直是个
人间尤物，她……
Are you on drugs?
你嗑药了吗？
Apart from my Zoloft, no.
除了左洛复【抗抑郁药】，没吃别的。
Well, why would I ever
entertain something like that?
那好，为什么我会考虑
做这样的事呢？
How many… How many days
you working now at the flower shop?
你现在…现在你一周
在花店里工作几天？
– Two.
– Two, okay, so you’re living
– 两天。
– 两天。是啊，所以你现在…
hand to mouth. Jesus.
…只能勉强糊口，天哪。
Who bailed you out when you couldn’t
make the rent money last month?
上个月你没钱交房♥租，
是谁…是谁给你救的急？
Yeah, but I paid you back.
是啊，可我还你钱了。
Yes, you paid me back, but
basically you’re out of work.
是的，你是还我钱了，
但你基本上已算失业。
And you’re closing shop.
你的书店也黄了。
And I’m closing shop. Exactly.
我的书店黄了，没错。
Of course, I would, you know,
get a little taste of this.
当然我得…你知道，
适应一下当前的情况。
I mean, I… I saw myself
getting a small fee.
所以我得…我得想办法
捞点小外快。
How long do you know me?
你我认识有多久了？
Long? I’ve known you since you were a kid,
多久？打你小时候就认识了，
since you broke into this
bookstore and tried to rob it.
打你闯入这家书店
想打劫的时候就认识了。
(电♥信♥账单、《意大利语语法》)
Papa Mo, I’m sorry you lost your job.
莫爸爸，抱歉你丢掉工作了。
Your mother still has her job,
so thank God for that.
你妈还有工作，
所以…为此感谢上帝吧。
Papa Mo, what does this word mean?
莫爸爸，这词什么意思——
E-n-s-o-r-c-e-l-l-e-d.
E-n-s-o-r-c-e-l-l-e-d？
“Ensorcelled” is, you know,
“Ensorcelled”，你知道，
like “enchanted,” like when a…
a sorceress casts a spell on you.
“着魔了”的意思，
比如…巫师对你下了魔咒。
Don’t you go getting yourself
enchanted while mama’s away at work.
妈妈在外拼死拼活，
你最好别让自己着了魔。
This is how she talks to the man
who put her through bartender school.
她居然这样对我说话，
是我出钱让她上了酒吧侍者学校。
– Mm-hmm.
– There’s lice in my class, Papa Mo.
– 嗯嗯。
– 我班上有虱子，莫爸爸，
– I think I got lice.
– Lice?
– 我想我长虱子了。
– 虱子？
My hair itches.
我头发痒！
– Oh my God.
– (PHONE RINGS)
– 噢，我的上帝啊！
– (电♥话♥铃♥声♥)
No, no, no! Don’t touch,
don’t touch anything.
不，不，不！别碰…
别碰任何东西！
Nothing in the house.
Don’t touch a thing.
屋子里的任何东西
你都不准碰！
Now I’ma have to bring your
ass back to the lice lady.
那我又要带你去看
除虱子的夫人了。
– Hello?
– Hello, Murray.
– 喂？
– 你好，莫瑞，
It’s Dr. Parker.
我是帕克医生。
Dr. Parker, is something wrong?
帕克医生，我那边不对吗？
Were you serious?
Knowing someone?
你是当真的吗？
认识什么人？
Oh. Oh.
噢，噢……
My husband’s got a lot of money, Murray,
我丈夫有很多钱，莫瑞，
– and I’d like to…
– Hang on a second.
– 我希望……
– 你稍微等一下。
Excuse me. Let me take
this in my office.
借过。等我…等到了
我办公室再接着谈。
Maybe I should try your guy out first.
也许我该先试一下你推荐的人，
Alone. Just me and him.
单独的，就我和他。
You know, kind of like
an out-of-town tryout.
你知道，就像是
百老汇新剧的城外试演。
Exactly, like a sneak preview.
对的，就像是新片的内部试映。
Yeah. Is he clean?
没错！他干净吗？
Yes, of course he’s clean.
当然干净，他很干净！
I mean, I don’t want to get AIDS.
我是说，我可不想染上艾滋。
– AIDS?
– Or gonorrhea.
– 艾滋？
– 或淋病。
Gonorrhea? Jesus, what
are you talking about?
淋病？天哪，你在说什么啊？
He’s a nice kid.
I know him personally.
他是个…他是个很不错的人，
我个人很了解他。
– And he would tell you?
– Yes, he would.
– 他会告诉你这些？
– 是的，他会的。
You know, as far as I know.
你知道…根据我的了解，他会的……
And he’s got protection?
他会戴套子吧？
Sure, he’s got protection.
The guy’s a pro.
他当然会戴套子，
这家伙可是行家里手！
I’m a little crazed.
I just came from an AIDS benefit.
