欧洲性旅行（2004）

Hmm. Says here this town has a famous nude beach.
好吧 总不能在这躺一 整天吧
All right, we can’t all just lie around all day.
我们得实地去体会 一下这种文化喔
We gotta experience the culture firsthand.
咱们探探去
Let’s go exploring!
那要不懂礼节 出了丑怎么收场?
So, what’s the etiquette on boners?
我应该是在沙滩上 戳个洞把小弟卷起藏好
Do I roll over and dig out a hole for it,
还是在它上头挂面旗子飘飘?
or is it cool to just let my flag fly?
等等等等
Wait, wait.
祼体海滩 是不是说 我们也得脱♥光♥光?
Does nude beach mean we have to get naked, too?
当然啦
Of course.
你是说你能走一个小时
Do you think you can go an hour
而不♥穿♥着那个装钞票的腰带?
without your currency colostomy bag?
既然这里装着钱和护照
As long as this thing has our money and passports in it,
它就不应摘下 那么我裤头也不用脱了
it’s not coming off, and my trunks won’t come off, either.
来吧
Come on.
大老远来趟欧洲
You came all the way to Europe.
不能就做了胆小鬼
Can’t wimp out now.
好的
OK.
好吧 我们数三声
All right, on the count of three.
准备啦
Here we go.
3 2 1
3, 2, 1…
瞧杰米的小弟
Look at Jamie’s penis!
太搞笑了 太搞笑了
Very funny. Very funny.
好吧好吧
All right.
让俺们的疯狂欧洲 性冒险开始吧
Let the crazy European sex odyssey begin.
– 脱吧 – 真的?
– Here we go. – Really?
– 是 – 嗯
– Yes. – Mm-hmm.
哈罗 女士们
Hello, ladies!
– 是女士吗? – 母狗?
– Ladies? – Bitches?
真没想到 这儿一个裸女也没有
Eww! What a rip! There’s no nude girls here,
全是一群和我们一样 在找裸女的家伙
Just guys like us looking for nude girls.
我不明白
I don’t understand.
Crans Sur Mer 有欧洲最好的天体 海滩之一
Crans Sur Mer has one of the best nude beaches on the continent.
但是
However…
在夏天 欧洲本地的女士
during the summer, the European women
往往被无礼的男游客纠缠
are chased away by gawking male tourists,
所以裸女们都跑到Poissonieres纪念碑附近
so Europe’s most nubile exhibitionists head to the deserted beach
人迹罕至的海滩上
next to the Monument des Poissonieres.
这纪念碑还真感人啊
这里的小♥弟♥弟♥可真多啊
There’s so many penises.
Frommer旅游指南上不是 没提到过但你就是不信
Frommer’s tried to tell you,but you just didn’t listen.
这真是天下最大的香肠宴啊
This is the biggest sausage fest on earth.
国际香肠博物馆
It’s the international house of sausage.
– 谢谢你们等我 – 你一点都没错过喔
– Thanks for waiting. – You’re not missing anything.
这里都是男人
It’s all guys.
可惜没太阳了
At least the sun’s out.
美梦成真
Dreams come true
我让美梦成真
I made my dreams come true
我的美梦成真
My dreams come true
不会吧
Holy crap!
怎么啦? 这不是天体海滩吗
What? I thought this was a nude beach.
不
No!!!
– 呃? – 不
– Huh? – No.
– 怎么啦? 你干吗? – 詹妮赶快穿起来
– What? What are you doing? – Jenny, you gotta cover up.
裸女?
Girl?
裸女?
Girl!
裸女? 女的 裸女?
Ooh, girl. Girl… girl.
裸女 裸女
Girl… girl…
快闪
Run!
我没事
I’m not gonna make it.
– 别管我快跑 – 好吧再会
– Go on without me. – All right. See ya.
小妞 小妞
Chica! Chica!
小妞 小妞
Chica! Chica!
在看米卡以前的电邮?
Reading Mieke’s old emails again?
是啊
Yeah.
我不知道见了她 开口说啥
I have no idea what I’m going to say to that girl when I see her.
你知道吗 她说过 我可能是她的真命天子?
You know, she said I might be the one?
不赖吧
That’s huge.
我还从来没当过真命天子呢
I’ve never been the one before.
虽然我好像是菲奥纳的真命天子
Thought I was the one with Fiona,
但结果我却是她的呃第101个?
but turns out I was, what, 101?
– 不止第200个 – 200个
– 200. – 200!
其实你没必要担心这个
Look, you got nothing to worry about.
没问题的你一定能 电倒这德国小妞
You’ll show up and sweep her off her German feet.
谢了
Thanks.
是的
Yeah.
我没问题 不是吗?
I will, won’t l?
肥水东流无尽期 当初不合种相思
I’m so sad and lonely.
年年今夜月华如练长是人千里
I just wish someone would show up
可怜人意薄于云水佳会更难重
and sweep me off my German feet.
米卡 我来了
Mieke! I’m here.
斯科特
Scotty!
音书漫漫欢情薄 此恨何时休
About that last email. I’m so sorry…
柔情似水佳期如梦
The past is the past. You’re here now.
两情若是久长时 又岂在朝朝暮暮?
I’ve been saving myself for you.
春宵一刻值千金
Let us make love for one whole month.
人生行乐须年少
Touch me, Scotty.
年少年少
OK.
春宵春宵
Oh, Scott…
Mi bello(意大利语:我美吗?)
Mi bello.
Mi bello
Mi bello.
Mi bello
Mi bello.
Mi bello
Mi bello.
Mi bello
Mi bello.
Mi scusi(意大利语:对不起)
Mi scusi.
Mi scusi
Mi scusi!
宝贝今晚嗑点药
Hot stuff baby this evening
今晚嗑点药
Gotta have some hot stuff
今晚嗑点药
Gotta have some love tonight
爽歪歪的药
Hot stuff
伙计们我们的火车明早才开
Guys, our train doesn’t leave till morning.
– 我们去哪睡觉? – 没听错吧睡觉?
– Where will we sleep? – What do you mean, sleep?
我们可以明天在火车上睡啊
We can sleep on the train tomorrow.
这可是找乐的最佳地点啊 我们在阿姆斯特丹
This is the best that could’ve happened. We’re in Amsterdam!
这可是欧洲性都磕药的天堂
This is the drug and sex capital of Europe!
瞧瞧这个
Take a look at this.
性幻想俱乐部
Club Vandersexxx.
红灯区里最红的俱乐部
The red light district’s hottest sex club.
我得看看去 谁和我一道?
We have to check it out. Who’s with me?
我有事先走
I’ll go.
好吧既然没别人了
Fine. Since no one else is willing to go,
那我一个人去了
I’ll just go myself.
(霓虹灯:性超♥市♥)
(招牌:性幻想俱乐部)
我知道
I see
你在等我
You’re waiting for me
这次车子绝对停对了地方
This is definitely where I parked my car.
那位你好
Hello there.
欢迎来性幻想俱乐部
Welcome to Club Vandersexxx…
阿姆斯特丹最爽的俱乐部
Amsterdam’s most erotic club,
这里你所有的美梦都能成真
where your every fantasy will be fulfilled.
这上头说在这里玩点刺♥激♥的 可以免费得一件T恤
Also says I get a free T-shirt with flyer.
他是美♥国♥佬♥
He’s American.
在清教♥徒♥建立的国度里 长大真是悲惨啊
How sad for you to grow up in a country founded by prudes.
这个国家充斥着罪犯和文盲
A country overrun with crime and illiteracy.
这个国家的男人一次只能
A country where a manis forced to make sex
干一个女人
to only one woman at a time,
而且还要认识这个女人先
and one must learn the woman’s name beforehand.
– 太可怕了 – 我明白
– It was horrible. – I know.
但是你可以跟我来
But you can come with me…
开始你的性幻想
and let the Vandersexxx begin.
大♥麻♥进入我灵魂
Marijuana in my soul