欧洲性旅行（2004）

相信我
Trust me.
好多了
That’s better.
用手擦不要停
Um, keep rubbing it.
在他生日那天我♥干♥了她
I did it with her on his birthday
斯科特蒙在鼓里 斯科特蒙在鼓里
Scotty doesn’t know Scotty doesn’t know
斯科特蒙在鼓里 斯科特蒙在鼓里
Scotty doesn’t know Scotty doesn’t know
斯科特蒙在鼓里 斯科特蒙在鼓里
Scotty doesn’t know Scotty doesn’t know
还在上头呢
No, it’s just not coming off.
到底是啥啊?
What is it?
过来我帮你
Fine I’ll do it come here.
哦老天小乖
Come here.Oh, my God! Candy!
库珀
Cooper!
原来我的车没停在这里
This isn’t where I parked my car.
斯科特蒙在鼓里
Scotty doesn’t know
斯科特蒙在鼓里 斯科特蒙在鼓里
Scotty doesn’t know! Scotty doesn’t know!
这个乐队真带劲耶
This band rocks!
爽
Yeah!
他妈的有电邮
Mail, motherfucker!
嗨 米卡
Hey, Mieke.
斯科特君
Dear Scott,
惊悉恶妇弃君如敝屣 然则古人云:
l was very sad to hear about your lady woman Fiona dumping you.
丈夫何患无妻 不日将西渡花旗
Since you no longer have a girlfriend,maybe I could come to America
定当
and we could get to know each other better. Perhaps we could…
zussamen
zussamen
这是什么番话?
What the fuck is zussamen?
zussamen(德语):与君相会
Arrange a meeting.
不不不糟了 库珀说得没错
No, no, no! Come on! Cooper was right.
这个玻璃要拿我小♥弟♥弟♥做风铃
This guy wants to have sex with me.
米卡听好了
Listen, Mieke…
我才不想狗屁的什么‘与君相会’
l don’t want to arrange any meetings with you,
你这变♥态♥ 德国玻璃
you sick, German freak.
不要碰我小♥弟♥弟♥
So please keep your hands off my genitals
不要再写信骚扰 不要来美国
and never write to me again, and don’t come to America.
再见
Goodbye.
再不能喝醉了 不过舒服多了
I’m never drinking again. Oh, that’s nice.
伯特你在搞什么飞机?
Bert, what are you doing?
在看你的电邮
Reading your email.
靠别看
Don’t do that.
你穿我浴袍干嘛?
Why are you wearing my bathrobe?
哦 不好意思
Oh, I’m sorry…
但是昨天某人在我浴袍上小便
but somebody pissed all over mine last night.
简直不敢相信这个德国小妞要来这儿泡你
Wow. I can’t believe this German chick wants to come here and hook up with you.
小妞? 米卡是个老玻璃
I don’t think so, buddy.Mieke’s a guy.
不 这里写着 trauriges madchen(德语:伤心女孩)
No, it says right here,trauriges madchen.
君之被弃妾不胜戚戚
l was a sad girl to hear about Fiona.
靠斯科特
Fuckin’ A, Scott.
我在上 德语入门 这意思连我也看明白了
I’m taking lntro to German,and even I know that.
过来白♥痴♥
Come here.
他寄给我一张照片
He sent me a picture, retardo.
明白吗? 这是麦克 这是他漂漂的表妹简(Jan)
See? That’s a picture of Mieke and his cute cousin, Jan.
错了弱智
No, retardo.
这是简(Jan)在德文中是男子名 米卡(Mieke)不念麦克(Mike)
That’s Jan, a man’s name,and that’s not Mike,
这是 米卡 很常见的德国妞的名字
it’s Mieke, a common German girl’s name,
类似于我们这里的女子名米切尔(Michelle)
similar to our Michelle.
我建议你给她回信 让她来看你吧
I hope you wrote her back and told her to come visit.
你难道没有?
You didn’t?
你觉得她是个男的
You thought she was a guy!
我要把这录下来哈
I’m getting the video camera! Ha!
太搞了
What an asshole!
不 不
No.No!!
真搞不懂你斯科特 托马斯
你不理我我也懒得理你
地址被封? 邮件未送达
Address blocked? Email not delivered.
不 拜托
No… come on!
嗨老妈做了蛋奶饼
Hey, Mom made waffles.
– 出什么事了? – 我爱上了笔友
– What’s going on? – I’m in love with my penpal.
我爱上了米卡
I’m in love with Mieke.
好的 好的
OK… OK.
你明白吗? 我早知道你有这么一天
You know what? I was actually expecting this.
老实说 你把这事首先向我坦白 我还蛮得意呢
Frankly, I’m flattered you picked me to come out to first.
不要为怎么告诉你朋友着急因为
And don’t worry about telling your folks, ’cause…
– 我想他们早已知道了 – 不是这样子的 她是女生
– I think they already know. – No, you idiot. Mike is a girl.
是啊是啊我懂 呵呵
No, no, I get it. Yeah.
他是女生你也是女生 有时候你俩都是女生
He’s the girl, and you’re the girl,and sometimes you’re both the girl.
不是吗?
Right?
不是吗? 这真带劲
Right? That’s hot.
但是不管怎样 这事我不置可否
But whatever works for you.I’m not gonna judge it.
你丫闭嘴过来看看 瞧这张照片
Will you stop? Look, come here. Look at this picture.
嗷 这个热辣的小妞是谁?
Wow. Who’s the hot chick?
这就是是 麦克 我指的是 米卡
That’s Mike. I mean, Mieke.
这就是和你一直通信的 那位?
That’s who you’ve been writing to all this time?
因为你这狗头军师 我们昨晚玩完了
Until last night,when I took your advice
我告诉她不要碰我小♥弟♥弟♥
and told her to keep her hands off my genitals.
目前来看 似乎你现在所想 与昨晚恰好相反
Given what we know now, that seems like the exact opposite of what you want.
真是人间悲剧啊
This is a total disaster.
振作点 似乎没那么糟糕
Oh, come on. It’s not that bad.
她真火♥辣♥哦
Though she is really hot.
你没在听我说什么 我根本不在乎她长什么样
You’re not listening.I don’t even care what she looks like.
冥冥之中我们似乎心有灵犀
Mieke and I had this incredible bond.
有些事情我只对她倾诉甚至都没对你讲
I told her things I couldn’t even tell you.
例如?
Like what?
– 没有只是打个比方 – 一定有老实讲什么事?
– Nothing. It’s a figure of speech. – No, seriously. What?
– 没有 重点是 – 不会重色轻友吧?
– Nothing. The point… – You like me better, right?
这个女孩聪敏风趣 而且相貌出众
This girl is not only smart and funny, and stunningly beautiful,
她提出要径自来美国 和我相聚
but until I screwed up, she wanted to come all the way to America,
结果被我搞砸了
just to be with me.
– 那么亡羊补牢嘛 – 怎么补?
– So do something about it. – What can I do?
她封了邮箱 电♥话♥号♥码我也不知道
She blocked her email account, her phone number’s not listed.
我只知道她家在柏林
The only thing I know is she lives in Berlin.
那么就去柏林嘛
So go to Berlin.
我不能就这么地去柏林库珀
I can’t just go to Berlin, Coop.
– 为什么不? – 因为
– Why not? – Because…
就是不能 今年暑假我要给老爸打下手
I just can’t, OK? I’m supposed to work for my dad this summer.
这样我的医学院入学申请会好看些
It looks good on my med school application.
哦天哪斯科特
Oh, Jesus, Scotty!
老弟菲奥纳说得没错 你太循规蹈矩了
Man, Fiona was right.You’re so predictable.
– 我要去德国 – 不
– I’m going to Germany. – No…
是我们去德国
we’re going to Germany.
我们怎么去德国?
How are we going to get to Germany?
别担心我已经搞定了
Don’t worry. I’ve got it covered.
– 我们要当快递? – 这是搞到便宜机票的最好方法
– We’re going to be couriers? – Best way to get a cheap flight.
我们只需要带着他们的包裹
We just have to carry their packages,
到了以后把包裹扔下就行了
then drop them off when we get there.
– 我表兄就是用这一招到的印度 – 是嘛?
– My cousin did it going to lndia. – Yeah?
当然 不过最后他住在了新德里的一个公共厕所里
Of course, he ended up using a public restroom in New Delhi
阿三们不得不锯掉他一条腿 你知道
and they had to cut off his leg.You know…
他没花啥钱就到了那 我就是这意思
but he got there cheap,is what I’m saying.
好吧 一周之内没有去德国的包裹
OK, I don’t have anything to Germany for a week.
但今天你们俩花$118就能到伦敦
But I can get you both to London today for $118.
别的航♥班♥呢?
Anything else?
欧洲就跟赛特购物中心那么大 我们可以从那走到柏林
Europe is the size of the Eastwood Mall.We can walk to Berlin from there.
– 库珀 英格兰是岛国 – 游吧管他呢
– Cooper, England’s an island. – OK, swim. Whatever.
我们就坐这班
We’ll take it.
多谢了 和我一起来
Hey. Thanks for coming with me.
我知道今年暑假你要在律师行实习
I know you had that internship at the law firm this summer.
唔不管律师行了
Well, forget about the law firm.
还有别谢我 本应我谢你
And don’t thank me.I should be thanking you.
这次旅行是千载难逢的机会
This trip is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity
可以拓宽我的性视野
for me to broaden my sexual horizons.
你在说啥呢?
What are you talking about?
我在说欧洲狂性之旅啊
I’m talking about crazy European sex.