双层公寓（2003）

你还好吧 – 我挺好
How are you? – Oh, I’m grand.
你们俩怎么样
But how are the two of you?
你们的脸色似乎很差
You look rather sallow.
不 不 我们很好
No, no. We’re fine.
我们给你带了些爆米花
We brought you some popcorn.
哦 这太客气了
Oh. Oh, how lovely.
我喜欢爆米花 小迪克也是
I adore popcorn. So does Little Dick.
那么 你有没有好好吃一顿感恩节晚餐
So, did you have a nice Thanksgiving dinner?
哦 当然 亲爱的
Oh, yes, dear.
邮局那个可爱的意大利小姐
That lovely Italian lady in the post office
给我带了份丰盛的晚餐
brought me a sumptuous dinner.
问题是排水管的碾碎机
The only problem is some of the carcass
没法把食物残渣排空
didn’t go down the disposal.
那是因为你没有碾碎机
That’s ’cause you don’t have a disposal.
我没有吗
I don’t?
堵得真严实
It’s really stuffed up.
行了
All right!
依我看 你们一定是感染了什么病毒
If you ask me, you two have got some sort of bug.
感谢上帝 唐警官上周带我去打了预防针
Thank God Officer Dan took me to have a flu shot last week.
呕吐物对小迪克来说就象是美餐
Upchuck is a delicacy for Little Dick.
它都流口水了
He’s salivating.
能卖♥♥多少 肯尼斯
How much can we get, Kenneth?
这取决于你们打算降低多少价钱
That depends on how far you’re willing to drop the price.
首先 你们买♥♥贵了点
First of all, you way overpaid.
此外还有那个房♥客
And then you got that tenant.
是你说她是个可爱的老太太
You said she was a sweet old lady.
我不敢想象这话是从我嘴里说出来的
Oh, I can’t imagine those words coming out of my mouth.
就是说我们还得困在这个鬼地方吗
So you’re saying that we’re stuck in this hellhole?
是的 除非你们愿意承受非常非常大的损失
Yeah. Unless you’re willing to take a huge, huge loss.
多大
How huge?
很大很大
Huge, huge.
我们完蛋了 是吗
We’re just totally screwed, right?
对 我想可以这么说
Yeah. I would say screwed is apt.
你觉得珍会给你第二次机会吗
Do you think that Jean would ever give you a second chance?
不 不 已经完了
No. No, it’s over.
再说我哪有时间
Besides, how could I have time to rewrite my novel
一边重写一边做她的忠实佣人
and still do my faithful servant duty to her
如同她的签了卖♥♥身契的小跟班
as her little indentured servant person, her little butt boy?
那会有很多义务
I mean, I got a lot of duties.
她可能会要我陪着她数葡萄
‘Cause she might need me to count grapes with her
替她修理加热器或者送她去洗衣房♥
or help her fix her heater or go take her to the laundry.
或者替她收拾香蕉皮
Or I gotta go help her clean her banana skins
也许还得替她收拾垃圾
and I gotta go help her clean out her garbage
或者替她擦屁♥股♥
or go and wipe her ass!
上帝不允许她的屁♥股♥不干净
God forbid she should have any shit hanging off her ass!
阿历克斯 – 不 是真的
Alex. – No. Really.
我得象兔子一样上蹿下跳
‘Cause then I gotta run like a little bunny
还得跑上去替她揩她的小屁♥股♥
and I have to go up there and I gotta go wipe her little ass.
然后说”干得好
And then I have to go, “Oh, good for you, Mrs. Connelly,
拉出这么漂亮的小便便
for having such a nice, little poopy.
沾到屁♥股♥上了吗
You got some poopy on your diapie?
哦 我来用舌头把它舔干净”
Ooh, let me go and clean it off with my tongue!”
对不起 先生
Excuse me, sir.
我是说 够了
I mean, enough is enough!
对不起
Excuse me.
我们走 迪克宝贝
Off we go, Dickey boy.
好了
Okay.
好了 快点 时间不多
Okay, come on. We don’t have that much time.
是啊 她去办事了
I know. She’s running errands.
我们只有12个小时
That only gives us 12 hours.
你 这边 我 那边
You, there. Me, there.
给她的糖碗里放点盐
A little salt in her sugar bowl.
嘿 来看看这招
Hey, come check this out!
收到
Roger.
阿历克斯
Alex?
被垫子绊了一下 没事
Tripped on the rug. I’m all right.
你确信自己干得来吗
You sure you know what you’re doing?
我重新接过你的台灯线
I rewired the lamp in your office.
很好 如果电不死她
Cool. ‘Cause if the shock doesn’t get her,
一点点煤气也能毒死她
a little bit of gas poisoning should.
熄掉引火一
Out goes pilot one.
熄掉引火二
Out goes pilot two.
375度烤上一小时该行了
An hour at 375 ought to do it.
你没忘了把烤箱的引火吹灭吧
Did you remember to blow out the pilot for the oven?
噢
Oh.
亲爱的
Honey.
阿历克斯
Alex.
污水滴下来了
The stain is dripping on us.
我知道
I know.
不是正好有镇静作用吗
Isn’t it soothing?
阿历克斯 – 嗨
Alex. – Hi.
楼下漏水了 我来检查一下水管
We got a water stain downstairs, so I got to look at the pipes.
你的脸怎么了
What has happened to your face?
我晒人工日光浴时睡着了
Oh, I just fell asleep in one of those tanning machines.
你看起来象块烤羊肉
You look like a roast mutton.
干得怎么样 羊肉脑袋
How are you doing, mutton head?
快弄好了
I’m almost done.
平均下来
On the average,
她一个晚上要换19次频道
she gets up to change the channel 19 times a night
每次都要经过这个48吋的走道
walking this 48-inch footpath.
等她最后转回那个”檀岛骑警”马拉松赛时
By the time she gets to the back end of that “Hawaii Five-O” marathon,
地板就该被酸蚀穿了
the acid should have eaten through the floorboards.
我们能笑到最后
And we’ll finally be happy.
这不怪我们 唐警官
It wasn’t our fault, Officer Dan.
你该去找水管工
You should find the plumber.
是吗 – 是的
Right? – Right.
知道吗 我们可以要个旅馆房♥间以防万一
You know, we might want to get a hotel room just in case.
亲爱的 现在我们的天花板上有个洞
Sweetie, now that we have a hole in the ceiling,
我想它也许能当成一条新通道
I thought maybe it could be a new place
通往楼梯那边
for the staircase to go.
对 看起来挺不错
Yeah. Looks good.
你去哪
Where are you going?
加点保险
A little insurance.
阿历克斯 别 别用孔雀先生
Alex, no! Not Mr. Peacock.
亲爱的 孔雀先生也得出一份力 懂吗
Honey, Mr. Peacock’s gonna have to take one for the team, okay?
就是这
That’s it.
她在看”大河之舞”
She’s watching “Riverdance.”
没想到还有人看”大河之舞”
I didn’t know people still watched “Riverdance.”
知道吗 实际要比看上去难
You know, this is actually harder than it looks.
我的老天爷
Holy Mary and Joseph!
我可能正好掉下去
I could have fallen right through.
这块地板已经烂穿了
The floorboards here, they’re rotten to the core.
不久前她请了个俄♥罗♥斯♥人来修水管
Awhile back she hired this Russian guy to fix the pipes.
不知你注意到没有
And I don’t know if you noticed,
这些水留下的后患都是他造成的
but there’s all this water damage that he left.
出于对”德先生”的尊重 阿历克斯
With all due respect to Mr. “D”, Alex,
是你自己上来瞎搞过我的水管
you were up here yourself fiddling with me pipes
就是几天前
a few days ago.
拿她的水管瞎搞
Fiddling with her pipes, huh?
现在 又有了一张罚单
Now, that’s another fine right there.
凭什么
For what?
在纽约没有执照就不能修水管
You can’t plumb without a license in New York City.
修水管 我不能修水管
Plumb? I can’t plumb?
你是和我顶嘴吗 罗斯先生
Are you sassing me, Mr. Rose?
他不是和你顶嘴
He’s not sassing you.
对 我不是和你顶嘴
Yeah, no, I’m not sassing you.
不是
I’m not.
我可不这样想
I didn’t think so.
我认识一个城建检查员
‘Cause I know a city building inspector
最爱找你们这种恶劣房♥东的碴
that eats chickenshit slumlords like you for lunch.