阿呆与阿瓜

flat out, and I want you to give me an honest answer.
你认为 我这样的男生
What do you think the chances are of…
与你这样的女孩交往
a guy like you and a girl like me…
有多少成功率
ending up together?
这很难说 我们都还不
Difficult to say. We really don’t…
告诉我 坦白的告诉我
Hit me with it. Give it to me straight.
我为了见你一面 大老远的跑来
I came a long way to see you.
你至少得告诉我 机会有多少
You can at least level with me. What are my chances?
不太理想
Not good.
不理想 代表百分之一的机会?
You mean ‘not good’ like one out of 100?
我是指
I’d say,
百万分之一的机会
more like one out of a million.
你是说 我还有一丝机会 对吧?
So you’re telling me there’s a chance?
我明白了
I read you.
-我们还有足够的毛巾 谢了 -尼古拉斯 你在这里干嘛?
-We have plenty of towels, thanks. -Nicholas! Why are you here?
我一直在找你 马丽 我有些关于你丈夫的消息
I was looking for you Mary. I have news about your husband.
丈夫
Husband?
稍等一下
Wait a minute.
那百万分之一的机会怎么讲
What was all that ‘one in a million’ talk?
你们不请我进去吗
Aren’t you going to invite me in?
哈瑞 你怎么不给我打电♥话♥
Hey, Harry. You never called.
你在这里干嘛
What are you doing here?
请问下 枪手
Excuse me, Gunman…
你哪位?
Who are you?
别和我装白♥痴♥ 烂屁♥眼♥
Don’t play dumb with me, asshole.
我是公文包的主人
I’m the owner of the briefcase you’ve been carry around.
尼古拉斯
Nicholas.
我的家族这么信任你
My family trusted you.
闭嘴
Shut up!
听着
Listen,
萨姆索尼特先生
Mr. Samsonite,
关于公文包
about the briefcase,
哈瑞和我正打算补偿你
we intend to reimburse you.
打开
Open it up!
去吧 开箱子 照他说的做
Go ahead, open it up. Do what he says.
快
Hurry.
这是什么玩意儿
What is this?
钱都哪去了
Where’s all the money?
这些等价于货币 先生
That’s as good as money sir.
都是借条
Those are IOUs.
不信你加加看 数目刚刚好
Add it up. Every cent’s accounted for.
瞧
Look.
这个是
See this?
这是车 27万5千
That’s a car. 275 thousand.
你再点点别的
Might want to hang onto that one.
你死定了
You’re a dead man.
洛伊德 我回来了
Lloyd.I’m home.
我有话和你说
Look, we got to have a serious talk.
我有些事情要坦白
I got a confession to make.
啊 你都找到她了 我不妨碍你们俩
Good. You found her. l’ll leave you two alone.
站住
No, stay.
去阿姆斯特丹的单程机票
A one-way ticket to Amsterdam,
越快越好
departing as soon as possible.
你们两个家伙怎么认识的
How do you two guys know each other?
-我们曾经是最好的朋友 -直到他暗箭伤人为止
-We used to be best friends. -Till he became a back-stabber.
我暗箭伤人? 你脑筋短路了
Me a back-stabber? You got a lot of nerve!
你明知道我喜欢她
You knew I was crazy about her.
你也知道我喜欢弗莱雅 我也没有制止你啊
You knew I was crazy about Freda but it didn’t stop you.
你什么意思
What do you mean?
别装憨 洛伊德
‘What do you mean?’ Don’t deny it Lloyd.
她告诉了我全部经过 法国痒痒挠先生
She told me the sleazy story, Mr. French Tickler.
几点钟的飞机
What time does that leave?
谢谢 再问下 我能吃到素食菜吧
Thanks. Wait, can I have a vegetarian meal?
我想我们都从对方身上学到东西了 对不
We learned something about each other, didn’t we?
你说的 伙计 也许我们并不是那么要好
You said it pal.Maybe we’re not as good friends as we thought.
是啊
Yeah.
一个漂亮女孩就能把我们搞成这样
If one beautiful girl can rip us apart like this…
也许我们该死的友谊一钱不值 干脆现在就划清界线
maybe our friendship isn’t worth it. Let’s call it quits.
告诉我在那里签字
Tell me where to sign.
在我屁♥股♥上 你先亲后签
On my ass, after you kiss it.
你亲我的 两边都要亲 就现在
Kiss it! Kiss mine! Both cheeks, both lips.
-快点 来阿 -都闭嘴
-Come on, put it… -Shut up!
你两个衰人谁想先上路
Which one of you two losers wants to get it first?
在这里
Over here.
我是弄乱你计划的人 来吧 开枪打我
I got you into this mess. Come on, shoot me.
等等
No, wait!
先打我 我抢了你马子 我活该的
Wait. Do me first. I stole your girl. I deserve it.
-不行 你不能 -我当然应该
-No, you don’t. -Yes, I do.
-你不能 -毙我 昨天是我人生中最美好的一天
-You don’t. -I do. Yesterday was the greatest day in my life.
玛丽和我去滑雪 堆雪人 她还摸我的大腿
Mary and I skied, made a snowman. She touched my leg.
好 毙了他
Okay, kill him.
你杀了我最好的朋友 你个杂种
You killed my best friend, you bastard!
你想找安慰 你们马上就能团圆了
If it’s a consolation, you’re to be reunited.
哈瑞 你没死
Harry. You’re alive!
看你什么臭枪法
And you’re a horrible shot.
-我走运 -警♥察♥ 都别动
-Lucky me. -Police. Open up.
任何人不许动 双手举高
Nobody move. Everybody freeze. Get those…
举高
hands up!
不是说你 笨蛋
Not you, dummy.
FBI特别调查员 贝斯·乔丹
Special Officer Beth Jordan. F.B.I.
谁?
Who?
邓恩先生 非常感谢 没有你我们完不成任务
Mr. Dunne, thank you very much we couldn’t have done it without you.
一路上我们都在跟踪你们
We followed you guys all the way from Providence.
到底怎么回事 哈瑞
What’s going on, Harry?
你是叫哈瑞吧
Your name is Harry, isn’t it?
她在大厅抓住我 解释了一切事情
She grabbed me in the lobby, explained what was up.
接着他们给了我一件防弹衣和一把枪
They put a bulletproof vest on me and gave me a gun.
万一他开枪打你脸呢
What if he shot you in the face?
对啊 万一他开枪打我的脸呢
What if he shot me in the face?
我们称之为可承受的风险
That’s a risk we were willing to take.
我怎么没有枪呢
How come I didn’t get a gun?
你也有枪的吗?
Did you get a gun?
你是对的 洛伊德
You were right Lloyd.
她值得我们跑这趟旅行
She was definitely worth the trip.
她真不错 不是吗
She’s something, ain’t she?
-我真高兴帮助她度过难关 -对头
-I’m glad we could help her. -Yep.
-波比 -轻点 轻点
-Bobby! -Easy, easy.
-你没事吧 -没事 只是有点痛
-You’re okay. -I’m okay, just a little sore.
真对不起
I’m sorry.
-亲爱的 -宝贝 我想死你了
-Sweetie. -Baby, I missed your loving.
我向你介绍两位
I want you to meet the kindest,
最友善 最好心的绅士朋友
gentlest man l’ve ever met
-愿意见见他吗? -当然
-Will you meet him? -Sure.
他拿着枪
He’s got a gun!
洛伊德 这是我丈夫 波比
Lloyd.I said “This is my husband, Bobby.”
-你好波比 -你好
-Hi, Bobby. -Hi.
我真为你高兴
I’m so happy for you.
谢谢
Thank you.
非常感谢你们两位
Thank you both very much.
一切都应该归功于你们两位
I owe you both a debt of gratitude.
谢谢
Thank you.
我真不敢相信 洛伊德
I can’t believe this Lloyd.
先是玛丽甩了咱们 接着警♥察♥来把东西都没收了
First Mary dumps us. Then the cops take our nest egg.
后来车子又撞坏了
Then our hog breaks down.
我们什么时候能休息下?
When will we ever catch a break?
两位
Hi, y’all.
我们正在举办一次全国性的泳装旅游
Guys, we’re going on a national bikini tour,
我们需要两名在赛前为我们涂抹油脂的男士
and we need two oil boys to grease us up before competitions.
你们走运了
You are in luck.
前面3英里处有个小镇
There’s a town 3 miles that way.
那里有你们要找的人