阿呆与阿瓜

I don’t know.
她姓什么 我去查
What’s her last name? l’ll look it up.
记不起来了
I don’t really recall.
好像S开头的
It starts with an ‘s’.
史维 史沃米 史利皮
Swim, Swami, Slippy,
史拉皮 史利明恩 索蒙
Slappy, Slimin, Solmon,
史米恩 萨尔 史瓦森 斯文森
Simin, Sal, Swenson, Swanson…
-看箱子上有没有 -有的
-Maybe it’s on the briefcase. -Right here.
萨姆索尼特
Samsonite!
有点区别 我就说嘛 是S开头的
I was way off. I knew it started with an ‘s’.
没有查到啊
I’m not seeing it here.
肯定不在电♥话♥黄页上
She must be unlisted.
好极了
Great.
咱们现在干嘛
What are we supposed to do now?
我冷得感觉不到手指了 洛伊德
I can’t feel my fingers anymore, Lloyd.
麻 麻 麻 麻掉掉 了
They’re, they’re, they’re numb.
拿双手套给你戴
Maybe you should wear these extra gloves.
我的手热得出汗呢
My hands are starting to get sweaty.
两双手套?
Extra gloves?
你 一直
You had this pair…
戴着两双手套?
of extra gloves the whole time?
那是 我们在洛矶山脉
Yeah. We’re in the Rockies.
我要宰了你
I’m going to kill you.
哪样?
What?
我说我要宰了你
I’m going to kill you.
老子宰了你 洛伊德
I’m going to kill you, Lloyd.
-冷静些 -我这就宰了你
-Calm down. -Right now, l’ll kill you.
你自己瞧瞧 你发疯了
You got that crazy look in your eye.
-我知道该干嘛 -你要干嘛
-I know what to do. -What are you doing?
做我们早就该做的事情
Something I should have done a long time ago.
你丫别发蠢
Don’t do anything foolish.
蠢? 一点都不蠢
What foolish? This ain’t foolish.
我要把这该死的祸害
I’m going to throw this damn curse
扔到那该死的湖里
right into that damn pond.
-我扔了 -你个烂屁♥眼♥
-I’m gonna do it! -You’re an asshole.
你的手 冰死人了
Your hands are freezing.
快看
Look!
看
Look!
好吧
Okay.
计划是这样的
Here’s the plan.
我们从皮箱里面借点钱救急
We borrow a few bucks, a small loan from the briefcase…
-然后找个舒服点的住处 -好主意
-And we find reasonable lodgings. -Good plan.
我们记录下所有的花费
We write IOUs for all we spend.
我们借多少就还多少 一分钱不差
Every last penny. What we borrow, we pay back.
-咱们说话算话 -对头 说话算话
-We’re good for it. -Our word is our bond.
先生们 本酒店的总统套房♥
This is the Hotel Danbury Presidential Suite, gentlemen,
通常只留给皇室
normally reserved for royalty,
权贵
visiting dignitaries,
舞台和银幕上的明星
stars of stage and screen.
还有日本天♥皇♥
Coming shortly are the Emperor and Empress of Japan.
查尔斯王子和戴妃
Prince Charles and Diana,
也常常入住本店
when they were together, came constantly.
我们要了
We’ll take it.
你的
There you go.
你的
There you go.
你的
There you go.
你的
There you go.
还有你的
There you go.
-这就是生活 对吧 -是的
-This is living, huh? -Yeah.
下一步呢
What’s on next?
不知道 我看看
I don’t know. Let’s see.
洛伊德 你还好?
Lloyd, you okay?
哈瑞 是玛丽
Harry.It’s Mary.
谁?
Who?
箱子的主人 玛丽
Mary. With the briefcase?
玛丽·斯文森
Mary Swanson.
姓 斯文森
Swanson!
将举办
Will hawst a newl…
举办 度 一年
Host. Annual.
举办一年一度的
Host an annual meeting of…
的
the…
的 的 这念什么来着
The Intern…
大家伙
Big one.
国际保护协会 明天晚上
International Preservation Society tomorrow night.
打起精神 灰姑娘 你该去参加舞会了
Come on Cinderella, we gotta get you ready for the ball.
-谢了 车夫 给你的 -谢谢先生
-Thanks, Barn. There you go. -Thank you, sir.
靠你
Cripes!
暂停
Time out!
暂停 好吧
Time out. Whatever.
对不起 先生们
Excuse me, gentlemen.
500美元的自助晚餐 祝您愉快
It’s a $500 dollar-a-plate dinner. Good night.
500块钱嘛 小意思 我们给
500, alright, no problem. Put us down for…
-先给4份的钱 -没准我们要吃2轮
-Put us down for four. -In case we want seconds.
上帝保佑
Jesus Christ!
-是他们 -哪们?
-It’s them. -Them who?
那两个脑筋有问题的弱智
Them! The guys who whacked Mental.
你感觉到了没 哈瑞
Can’t you just feel it Harry.
我们大显身手的好机会 伙计
This our big chance, man.
展示一下我们与众不同的才华 再秀一下
With a little class, a little sophistication,
-我们所穿的特别衬衣 -没问题 洛伊德
-we’re in like a dirty shirt. -No problem Lloyd.
看那人戴的什么滑稽的包包
Look at the funbags on that hosehound!
我能参着豆子和一瓶红酒吃了她的肝
I’d eat her liver with fava beans and a nice bottle of Chianti.
先去喝些开胃酒
Let’s go get some loudmouth soup.
酒保 来2杯马丁尼
Bartender, two martinis, please.
请大家注意一下
Can I have your attention, please.
阿斯平保护协会是世界著名的 23种濒临灭绝的动物的
The Aspen Preservation Society is the world’s foremost…
主要保护者
defender of 23 endangered species.
下面很荣幸的有请
It is with tremendous honor
斯文森先生介绍一下
that we bring Mr. Swanson forward to
第24濒临灭绝物种
introduce us to the 24th.
卡尔
Karl.
谢谢
Thank you.
女士们先生们
Ladies and gentlemen,
我向大家展示 冰岛的雪猫头鹰
I give you the Icelandic Snow Owl.
这对华丽的动物是地球上仅存的
These magnificent specimens constitute one seventh…
雪猫头鹰的七分之一
of the Snow Owl population left on the planet.
上帝保佑
And God willing,
在诸位的帮助和本协会的努力下
with your help and that of the Society,
这种奇妙的生物会再次繁衍兴旺起来
these wonderful creatures will flourish again.
再次感谢大家 晚上愉快
Thank you again. Enjoy your evening.
麻烦来点开心果
Could I have some pistachios?
还有那些
And another one of those.
你能不能镇静一点 我从没看见你这么紧张
What are you doing? Calm down. l’ve never seen you so nervous.
莎瑞 盯住他们
Keep an eye on them, Shay.
盯紧了
A close eye.
我准备好表白了 哈瑞
I’m ready for commitment Harry.
当我第一眼看见玛丽·斯文森
First time I set eyes on Mary Swanson,
一种老式的浪漫感觉 涌上心头
I got that old-fashioned romantic feeling,
我愿意做任何事 来取悦她
where l’d do anything to bone her.
这感觉是有点特别 洛伊德
That’s a special feeling, Lloyd.
天 天哪
Oh, my!
那就是她
There she is.
你不是在开玩笑吧
Wow! You weren’t kidding.
整一个天使
She’s an angel.
你等什么呢 过去跟她打招呼阿
What are you waiting for? Go talk to her.
她肯定以为我是个神经病 那么远跑过来
She’ll think l’m psycho when she finds out how far I came.
你拿着她的手提箱阿
You know what you have?
她看见你会很激动的
Her briefcase. She’ll be thrilled.
等等
Wait!
我有主意了
I have an idea.
你走过去 向她介绍介绍你自己