阿呆与阿瓜

We’re taking it back to her. How’s your burger?
你们连人都不认识?
You don’t even know her?
说了半天
Talk about
老天爷真会开玩笑
being in the wrong place at the wrong time.
你没事吧 我们不过开玩笑而已
Are you okay, man. It was just a goof!
我有 胃溃疡
My ulcer. Quick…
快 拿 药
my pills!
我们应该叫辆救护车
We should call an ambulance.
你去找药 别急 我会人工呼吸的
You get the pills. Don’t worry, I know CPR.
我去拿药
I’ll get the pills.
你老老实实躺着会舒服很多
This is easier if you just lay back.
拿药去
Here.
他不老实躺着
He’s resisting me.
药来了 快吃
There you go. Pills.
-吃药就好了 -大口大口的吃
-Pills are good. -Drink them down. There you go.
你要不要也来点番茄酱解解辣
Want some ketchup and mustard? That helped us.
老子
You son of a…
日!
bitch!
麻烦结下账
Check, please.
不敢相信
I can’t believe it.
生命是脆弱的 哈瑞
Life’s a fragile thing Harry.
刚刚还在啃汉堡 一扭头就死翘翘了
One minute you’re chewing on a burger, then you’re dead meat.
他还怪我来着
But he blamed me.
你听他临死前说的话
You heard his last words.
人死之前都胡说八道的
Not if you count the gurgling sound.
中毒死的?
He was poisoned?
毫无疑问
No doubt about it.
尸体旁边发现了这个
We found these next to him.
长官
Sir…
服务员说他和另外两个人一起进来的
waitress says he came in with two young guys.
他们叫了救护车就溜掉了
They called the ambulance and then they left.
知道他们去哪里不?
You know where?
刚收到线索 他们往科罗拉多方向去了
Report says they were seen headed west toward Colorado.
什么样的车
Vehicle’s description?
这样的
Yes, sir.
他们开一辆84年的
They’re driving an ’84…
牧羊犬
sheepdog.
滑雪呢
Skis, huh?
-是啊 -真好
-That’s right. -Great.
是你的?
They yours?
俩都是?
Both of them?
厉害
Cool.
对不起 你弄得到处都是
Excuse me, but you’re spraying everywhere.
3月25日凌晨2点一刻 幸运儿享受猛♥男♥的特别关爱
度假带这么多行李阿
A lot of luggage for a little vacation.
我搬家到阿斯平去
I’m moving to Aspen.
我男朋友是个二百五 我得离他远点
To get away from my boyfriend. He’s such a klutz.
算命的说 我得远离爱惹麻烦的人
My astrologer told me to stay away from accident prone guys.
瞧 我那个
You know, I…
还你 稍微有点松
Here, that’s a little loose. Might want to…
-谢谢 -让我来 我有
-Thank you. -No, allow me. I’ve got…
我这儿有火
a thing here, got them right here.
谢谢
Thank you.
不客气 我正好也去阿斯平
Sure. You know, l’m heading up to Aspen myself.
咱们哪天聚聚 喝点热巧克力什么的
We could meet and have hot chocolate.
好啊 你看起来挺善良的
Sure, why not. You seem harmless.
-等我给你电♥话♥ 笔呢 -好
-I’ll give you my number. A pen? -Great.
我记得就放这里的阿
I know I have one in here.
告诉我就行了 我记性特好
Tell it to me. l’ve got a really good memory.
号♥码是 555
The number’s 555…
905…
不对 那是我以前的号♥
Wait a minute, that’s my old number.
有时候脑筋突然空白了 就
Weird how your mind goes blank.
快给我他妈的电♥话♥号♥码
Give me the damn number!
你这什么态度阿 真次
Look, if you’re going to get pushy, forget about it.
哥哥我错了
Find a happy place.
下次不敢了
Find a happy place.
-有发现? -没 不过他们一会就该路过这里
-Any sign? -No, but we expect them shortly.
30英里以外有人看见他们朝这边来了
A motorist saw a pooch 30 miles back headed this way.
我都告诉你了 别没完没了的问
I told you what happened, so drop it.
当然 没问题 没问题
Okay, sure thing. Sure thing.
瞧 快到科罗拉多了
Look, we’re almost in Colorado.
你来开会 我连着开了9个小时了
Let’s change seats. l’ve been driving for 9 hours.
再开一个州吃不消了
I don’t have the energy to start a new state.
兄弟伙
Hey, guys.
喝大杯可乐啊
Big Gulps, huh? Alright!
回头再见
Well, see you later.
哈瑞 我买♥♥了些牛肉干
Hey, Harry, I got some beef jerky…
有些人睡觉和猪没区别
Some people weren’t cut out for life on the road.
我还在猜 你打算睡到几点钟
I was wondering when you’d get up.
我睡了多长时间
How long have I been out?
少说也有5个钟头了
I’d say a good 5 hours.
我觉得洛矶山脉多少应该有点山阿
I expected the Rocky Mountains to be rockier.
我也觉得邪门呢
I was thinking the same thing.
原来约翰·丹佛的歌♥都是神吹的
That John Denver is full of shit.
我也是人 哈瑞
I’m only human Harry.
是人都会犯错的
Anybody can make a mistake.
行了
Come on!
别那么娇气好不
Stop being a baby.
不就往回走了两步嘛
So we backtracked a tad.
两步?
A tad?
两步 洛伊德?
A tad, Lloyd?
你横穿了全国六分之一的距离
You drove almost a sixth of the way across the country…
朝相反的方向上
in the wrong direction!
我们现在没有钱去阿斯平 没有钱回家
We don’t have enough money to get to Aspen, to get home,
更别说吃饭睡觉
to eat, or to sleep!
那 你朝我嚷嚷不是也没用嘛
It won’t do us any good to sit whining about it.
遇到困难
We’re in a hole.
想办法去解决阿
We’re going to have to dig ourselves out.
行 没错 你说的都对
Okay. You’re right. You’re absolutely right.
你去哪
Where you going?
回家 我走路回家去
Home. I’m walking home.
随你的便 完美先生
Well, pardon me, Mr. Perfect.
好像你从来就不犯错似的
I guess I forgot you never make a mistake.
去阿斯平吗 车上还有个座儿
Got one more place if you still want to go to Aspen.
你去哪里搞来的
Where did you find that?
村子里一个小孩
Some kid back in town.
拿你的大狗车换的
Traded the van for it. Straight up.
这东西一加仑汽油能跑70英里
I can get 70 miles to the gallon on this little hog.
洛伊德
You know Lloyd,
我一直认为你♥他♥妈♥是个呆B
just when I think you couldn’t be any dumber,
你今天的所作所为
you go and do something like this,
证明以前我冤枉你了
and totally redeem yourself.
-去不去阿斯平 还? -去
-Still want to go to Aspen? -Oh, yeah!
开车 哥们
Okay. Let’s go, buddy.
-西边 往西边走 -哦 对
-No, west. Go west. -Oh, yeah.
停下来 我我我要上厕所
I got to stop to go to the bathroom.
尿吧 伙计
Just go, man.
安逸 真暖和
That sure is warm.
我们到了
We’re there.
一路上来有点头晕
Got a little nippy going through the pass.
难道不令人难以置信吗?
Isn’t this incredible?
-2个单身家伙还能要求什么 -来点吃的如何
-What more could 2 single guys want? -How about some food?
我开车的时候吃了只六月金龟 我不是太饿
I swallowed a June bug driving. l’m not that hungry.
我要饿死了
Well, l’m starving.
老天 快看那屁屁
Jeez, look at the butt on that.
是啊
Yeah.
肯定每晚做个不停
He must work out.
为什么我们不把箱子寄给玛丽?
Why don’t we deliver the briefcase to Mary?
如果我认识她 她肯定会请我们喝茶嫖♥妓♥
If I know her like I think, she’ll give us tea and strumpets.
她住哪里呢?
Where does she live?
不晓得