阿呆与阿瓜2

什么
What?
没想到那个猪头会偷我们的灵车
I can’t believe that douchebag stole our hearse.
希望他没有好下场啦
I hope something really bad happens to him.
没有 但我有试过鸵鸟
No, but I tried ostrich once.
天呐 哈利
Harry, holy cow.
我很担心你
I’m worried about you.
你和蝙蝠一样聋了
You’re as deaf as a bat.
事情不是这样的 罗伊
That’s not exactly how it happened, Lloyd.
是你妈把我拐上♥床♥的
Your mother got into bed with me.
够了 我带你去装助听器
That’s it. We’re getting you hearing aids.
圣约瑟夫安养院
有什么事吗
May I help you?
我朋友要来探望他亲爱的奶奶
My friend here would like to visit his sweet ol’ grandma.
叫什么名字
What’s the name?
我给你一个提示
I’ll give you a hint.
她戴了特大号♥的助听器
She’s the one with the biggest hearing aids.
史奈格太太 你孙子和他朋友来了
Ms. Snergle, your grandson and his friend are here.
太扯了啦 罗伊
This is stupid, Lloyd!
我不能偷老太太的助听器
I’m not gonna steal an old lady’s hearing aid!
放心吧
Relax!
我们只是要找备用助听器
We’re just looking for a backup pair.
这里一定有备用的
There’s gotta be some around here.
麦克
Mikey?
对 奶奶
Yeah, Gran.
我是麦克
It’s Mikey.
还好你来了
Oh, thank God you’re here.
我有钻石
I’ve got the diamonds.
她是说钻石吗
Did she say diamonds?
说吧 奶奶 麦克洗耳恭听
Go ahead, Granny. Mikey’s listening.
我要你把所有的钻石带走
I want you to take all the diamonds with you when you go.
我藏起来不让那些律师偷拿
I’ve been hiding them from those thieving lawyers.
太好了
That’s good.
奶奶做得很好
Granny did a good thing!
钻石在哪儿
So, where are the rocks?
在我下面
They’re underneath me.
你是说在床底下
You mean, under the bed?
不是 在被子底下
No, under the blanket. Oh.
我什么也没摸到
I’m not finding anything.
上面一点
Go up more.
-这里吗 -再上面一点
-Up here? -Keep going.
你藏在这只火鸡的肚子里
Did you hide them inside this turkey?
对啊
Yeah, right.
等一下
Wait.
这里面没钻石
There’s no diamonds here!
你也不是我孙子
And you’re not my grandson!
哈利 我被她骗了
Harry, she’s got me.
她下面好紧啊
She’s really clamping down!
罗伊
Lloyd?
那应该是她的老穴穴
I think that was her gran-gina.
答对了
That’s right!
这是你毕生难忘的经验
So you can cross that one off your bucket list!
金手指
Hey, Goldfinger!
拿去
Here.
这是你应得的
You’ve earned them.
真的假的
Are you serious?
崔维斯死了
Travis is dead?
对
That’s right.
堪萨斯州警方早上通知我
The Kansas state police informed me this morning.
我想我应该告诉你
I thought you’d want to know.
谢谢你 里平考上尉
Thank you, Captain Lippincott.
我知道转达这种坏消息你很难过
I know it’s never easy to relay this kind of sad news.
但我要你知道你弟弟崔维斯
But I want you to know that your brother, Travis,
对我们而言不只是个杂工
was more than just a handyman to us.
他是
He was
家人
family.
真的吗
Really?
你也舔爸爸妈妈的脚趾头吗
Do you suck the toe jam off Mommy and Daddy, too?
你说什么
Um, I beg your pardon?
我弟都告诉我了
My brother told me everything.
你说什么我听不懂
I don’t know what you’re talking about.
我知道你想干掉你老公
Look, lady, I know you’re terminating your husband.
验不出来的毒药是我提供的
I’m the one who supplied you with the untraceables.
记得吗 我还知道
Remember? I also know
我弟想杀了那两个低能
that my brother was supposed to eliminate those two idiots,
结果反而被他们害死了
but somehow they turned the tables on him.
放心
Relax.
我不是来告发你的
I’m not here to turn you in.
我是想帮你
I’m here to help you out.
助听器好用吗
So how are those things working?
还不错 我稍微听得到声音
Not bad. I can hear you a little.
来 我帮你转大声一点
Here, let me turn them up.
老公 你要不要吃松饼
Honey, would you like some pancakes?
好 我要吃松饼
Yeah, I’d love some pancakes.
什么
What?
-别这么大声 -我没大声啊
-Stop yelling! -I’m not yelling.
你干嘛说我大声
Why would you say I’m yelling?
这才叫大声
This is yelling!
哈利
Harry!
可能是我转得太大声了
I think I might have turned them up too high!
你看 芭芭拉·荷西公路
Oh, look! Barbara Hershey Highway.
芭芭拉·荷西公路 献给电影明星芭芭拉·荷西
等一下
Wait a minute.
我知道我们在哪了
I think I know where we are.
跟我来
Follow me.
你真的知道吗
Are you sure about this, Lloyd?
真的 他在博物馆附近的曲棍球场上班
Positive. The kid worked at the hockey rink just past the museum.
芭芭拉·荷西博物馆
快一点 哈利
Come on, Harry!
他开赞伯尼牌磨冰机
He drove a Zamboni!
冰宫溜冰场 狗狗美容院
天呐 没想到我会再见到它
Oh, my God. I never thought I’d see her again.
不知道我有没有告诉过你
I don’t know if I told you this, Har,
我和他换迷你摩托车时 那小子还占了我便宜
but that kid kinda porked me when I traded him for the mini bike.
他只给我四分之一桶汽油
And he only gave me a quarter-tank of gas.
你想的和我想的一样吗
Are you thinking what I’m thinking?
不准举杆过肩 在裤子先生的全♥裸♥酒吧
树丛趴
Bush club!
树丛趴 树丛趴 树丛趴
Bush club! Bush club! Bush club!
好舒服啊
I feel really good, Har.
我也是
Me, too!
真的好舒服
Really good!
全速前进 哈利
You might want to step on it, Har!
埃尔帕索20英里 墨西哥华雷斯25英里
埃尔帕索主办KEN会议 知识工程博览会
你看 好多聪明人
Wow, look at all the brains.
高科技搞得我头昏眼花
They’re blinding me with science!
罗伊 我去问问几点开始
Okay, Lloyd. I’m gonna find out what time this thing starts.
你去找佩妮
You keep an eye out for Penny.
收到
Roger that.
各位 这是安珀警戒
Ladies and gentlemen, this is an AMBER Alert.
有人看到这个可爱的小天使吗
Has anybody seen this lovely, delicate angel?
你有看过她吗可爱又标致
Have you seen her? Lovely and delicate.
这个美眉很性感
This girl is slammin’.
我认识她
Oh, yeah, sure, I know her.
有线索了
I got a hit.
是佩妮·品契洛
It’s, uh, Penny Pinchelow.
昨天在酒吧见过
I met her at the bar yesterday.
这话是什么意思
What’s that supposed to mean?
别激动
Whoa! Easy, hoser!
我们只是聊聊天
We just hung out a little.
你知道她在哪儿吗
Do you happen to know where she is right now?
我朋友们刚去她住的饭店找她
Yeah, my, uh, friends just went to meet her at her hotel room.
他们要陪她过来
They’re walking her over here.
她晚上要演讲