阿呆与阿瓜2

在找这个吗
Looking for these?
你在干嘛
What are you doing?
车子很干净
She’s all clean, sir.
你可以走了
You’re good to go.
我的老天
Nutcase.
听我说
Hey, guys.
我们停战吧
Let’s call a truce, huh?
我们才刚认识就有误会
I think we got off on the wrong foot.
我不想和你们一路吵到埃尔帕索
I don’t wanna argue with you guys all the way down to El Paso.
怎样要不要讲和
So what do you say? Peace?
来 大抱抱
Come on, bring it in!
有何不可
Yeah, why not?
好了
Okay.
好了啦 适可而止
Hey, all right. All right, that’s good.
好了啦
All right, all right, all right.
你们有没有玩过”漏斗坚果”
Hey! Have you guys ever played “Funnel Nuts”?
什么
What?
少装蒜 你们一定有玩过
Oh, come on. You guys have had to play Funnel Nuts.
那是人类史上最好玩的游戏
This is the best game ever invented.
仔细看 像这样
Check it out, you take the funnel,
把漏斗夹进裤子
you put it in the front of your pants like that, right?
然后像这样把花生放在鼻子上
Okay? Then you put a peanut on your nose like this,
等你准备好的时候…
and then when you’re ready…
不会吧
No way!
开什么玩笑
You gotta be kidding!
这样不对
That’s not right!
接到最多坚果的人就获胜
The person who gets the most nuts wins.
谁要先和我玩
Now, who’s gonna play me first?
让我来 我先玩
I’ll do it. I got it.
-这次换我 -每次都是你先
-This is mine! -You always go first!
我先玩
I got it first!
你们先别急 这样吧
Guys, hold on, all right? Look.
你们两个先比 赢的人再和我比
You guys play each other first, and then I’ll play the winner.
好了
All right.
给你们
All right. Here you go.
慢慢来
Take your time. It takes time.
要先平衡好才行
Get a good balance on that.
把头抬高一点
Okay. Look way up high.
很好 继续看着天空
Good. Okay, keep looking at the sky. When you’re ready.
在准备好之前不能掉下来
Now don’t drop it until you’re ready, guys.
可以了
I got it!
奇怪
That’s weird. Ooh!
闻到花生我老二就凉凉的
The smell of peanuts makes my weenie cold. Ooh!
我的老二缩起来了
It shrank mine.
他竟然这样对我们 你看见没
Do you believe that? Did you see what he did?
开战
It’s on!
对
Oh, yeah.
他死定了
He’s going down!
等我们玩完”漏斗坚果”就开战
Right after we finish playing Funnel Nuts.
-别吵醒他 -我知道
-Shh. Don’t wake him up! -I know.
你放多少在里面
How many did you put in there?
足够吓死他了
Just enough to get a rise out of him.
不 天呐
No! Oh, God!
我的老天
No! Oh, my God!
我的老天
Oh, my God!
等一下 罗伊 他可能有受伤
Wait, Lloyd. I think he might be hurt.
你还好吗 只是恶作剧啦
Man, you okay? It was just a goof.
对啊 我们扯平了
Yeah. By the way, we’re even.
我现在就要他们死听见没
I want them dead, now! Now! Do you hear me?
冷静一点
Calm down.
不要 我受不了啦
No! No, I can’t take it any longer!
你现在不让我杀了他们
If you don’t let me kill them now,
我就不干了 我是认真的
I am quitting, and I mean it!
好 给我一点时间想想
Okay. Give me some time to think.
我来计划一下
I’ll come up with a plan.
计划 不必计划了 那两个人是智障
Plan? You don’t need a plan! These guys are morons!
而且我说过我哥在特种部队
Besides, I told you, my brother’s in Special Ops.
我知道这种事要怎么处理
I know how to get stuff done!
好吧 但不能让人知道他们有找过我们
All right. But make sure nobody knows they paid us a visit.
可别让人查到我们身上
I don’t want this coming back to us.
真是够了
God, shut up!
不知道这里面是什么
I wonder what’s in this sucker.
那个东西价值连城 小心一点
That thing is worth a fortune! Be careful!
给我
Give it to me.
但我也很想知道里面是什么
It would be nice to know what’s in it, though.
我想了很久
I’ve been racking my sack about that.
归纳出一个理论
I have a theory.
什么理论
Oh, yeah?
他说这是可以帮助全人类的东西
He said it was something that would help everybody in the world, right?
对
Yeah.
可能是烤洋芋
I think it might be a baked potato.
烤洋芋要怎么帮助全人类
How does a baked potato help everybody in the world?
这是我唯一还没想通的部分
That’s the only part I haven’t figured out yet.
你会想通的 罗伊
You’ll get it, Lloyd.
先买♥♥好烤洋芋用的酸奶和香葱 以备不时之需
We should pick up some sour cream and chives, just in case.
你们知道这是哪里吗
Do you guys have any idea where we are?
不知道
Not really.
是你叫我们下公路抄捷径的
You’re the one who told us to take the shortcut off the highway.
对 感觉你是想把我们 带到偏僻的地方杀掉
Yeah. It’s like you wanted to get us alone, so you could kill us
独吞价值十亿美元的包裹
and take the billion-dollar box.
但你这样做的动机会是什么
But what would be the motive?
对啊
Yeah.
对
Yeah.
我先拿地图出来看
I better get a map out of the bag, huh?
-好啊 -好
-Sure. -Okay.
还有谁在帮你找你女儿
So, guys, who else is helping you look for your daughter?
没有
No one.
没有吗
Nobody?
都没有朋友帮你吗
Not even some friends to lend a hand?
没有 只有我们
Nope, just us.
-那你们的老婆呢 -老婆
-What about your wives? -Wives?
我们看起来有那么呆吗
How stupid do we look?
哈利
Harry?
小心一点
Easy.
-好险 -有女朋友吗
-Close one. -Any girlfriends?
交过又分手了
Been there, done that.
我们不想被任何人事物绑住了
See, we don’t want to be tied down by anything or anyone.
我们连社会福利卡都没有
We don’t even have social security cards.
三十美元卖♥♥给两个巴西人了
We sold them for 30 bucks to two Brazilian guys.
没有身份的好处是
And the good thing about having no identity
不必担心身份被盗用
is that you never have to worry about identity theft.
他的身份用牙齿也监定不出来
He can’t even be identified by his teeth
因为他根本没看过牙医
because he’s never even been to a dentist.
而且我从来没加入任何团体
And I’ve never joined anything. Ever.
这样才能保持低调
That’s how you keep a low-pro.
对 没人能证明我们的存在
Yep, there’s no actual proof that we even exist.
死了也没人会想我们
If we died, no one would even miss us.
我们真是幸运
We are truly blessed.
刚才是怎么回事 哈利
What the hell happened, Harry?
什么
What?
刚才是怎么回事
What the hell happened?
我听不见
I can’t hear you!
永别了
So long, boys.
我们可能是被外星人绑♥架♥了
We may have been involved in an alien abduction, Harry.
你的屁♥股♥还好吗
Is your butt okay?
哈利
Harry!
搞什么
Holy crap!
他落跑了
He took off on us!
什么
What?
他落跑了
He took off on us.