阿呆与阿瓜2

很类似啦
It’s close.
芙蕾妲
Oh. Hi, Fraida.
你好吗
Oh, hey! How you been?
你是不是有在练瑜伽
Have you been doing yoga?
我现在很忙 你们找我有事吗
Yeah, I’m kind of busy. ls there a reason you guys are here?
对啊
Yes.
我刚收到你22年前寄的明信片
I just received this postcard that you sent me 22 years ago.
无敌慢邮
Talk about snail mail.
进去再说
You better come in.
你有把小孩生下来吗
So, did you, uh, ever have the baby?
我生了一个女儿 取名叫芬妮
I had a daughter. Named her Fanny.
听见没 是个女儿
You hear that, Har? A little girl.
芬妮·费尔契
Fanny Felcher! Ow!
-你还好吗 -背痛
-Are you all right? -Uh, bad back.
我有好多问题想问你
Oh, I have so many questions for you.
比如
Like?
首先是怀孕的过程还好吗
For starters, how was the pregnancy?
会不会很辛苦有被剖开吗
Was it a tough one? Did they have to saw you open?
哈利 讲话要修饰一下
Whoa, Har. Dial it down!
现在谈的是生命诞生的奇迹
We’re talking about the miracle of childbirth here.
我这位不体贴的朋友是想问你
What my insensitive friend meant was,
你是剖腹生产吗
did you have a C-section
还是阴♥道♥自然生产
or were you able to have the baby au snatch-urel?
生产过程很顺利
It went smoothly.
她在哪儿
So, uh, where is she?
我可以见她吗
Can I meet her?
我把她送养了
I gave her up for adoption.
什么
What?
为什么 因为我没钱又害怕
Why? Because I was broke and scared.
我才送人领养就后悔了
I regretted it as soon as I did it.
可惜为时已晚
But it was too late.
我已经放弃了我所有的权利
I’d already signed away all my rights.
然后我几年前
Then a couple years ago
写信给她
I wrote her a letter.
但她没回我的信
But she never wrote me back.
在这里等我
Wait here.
现在怎么办
What do we do now?
什么怎么办
What do you mean, “What do we do now?”
此时此刻应该怎么做
I mean, at this exact moment in time, what do we do?
你没听见吗
Harry, don’t you hear that?
已经棺盖论定
It’s the fat lady singing.
没戏唱了
It’s over!
我需要喝几杯
I need something to drink.
-可是… -哈利 够了啦
-But… -Harry, enough!
我们努力过但失败了
We tried and we failed!
文斯·隆巴迪[美式足球教练]说过
As Vince Lombardi used to say,
该放弃就别坚持了
you gotta know when to quit!
你不如顺便挑一副棺材吧
Hey, you should pick out one of those coffins while we’re here.
-说不定… -真是够了
-What if… -Darn it, Har!
我受不了再这样情绪大起大落了
I cannot live on this emotional roller coaster any longer.
我很不想讲出来 但你没救了
I feel bad saying it, but you’re slunk meat.
我在网络上找到女儿的这张照片
Here’s a picture I found of my daughter online.
或者我们可以再接再厉
Or, we could suck it up,
靠自己的力量
pick ourselves up by our bootstraps
去找到那个小女孩
and go find that little girl!
等一下
Hold on.
你有写信给她 你一定知道她住哪里
You wrote her a letter. You must know where she lives!
对 我透过收养机构网站找到她
Yeah. I tracked her down through this adoption search site.
她被知名科学家领养了
She was raised by this hotshot scientist.
那你怎么不去找她
Why didn’t you just go find her in person?
既然她不想见我
If she doesn’t want to meet me,
我就不勉强了她
I am not going to force myself on her.
可能是没收到你的信
Maybe she didn’t get your letter.
她收到了
She got it, all right.
退回寄件人 请别再联络我
不如我们帮你找她
What if we go track her down for you?
这又不违法
There’s no lawsuit against that.
你们是认真的吗
Are you guys serious?
你们愿意帮我
You’d help me out?
当然愿意
Of course we’ll help you out.
但我们需要一辆车
We’re gonna need some wheels.
我可以借你们车
I’ll lend you a car.
那就没问题了
Then it’s done.
对啊 有这个地址和我们超强的第六感
Yeah, using this address and our superior instincts,
你一定很快就能
you and your little girl are gonna be having
和你女儿相认
a family reunion in no time.
干杯
Cheers!
等一下 你这是哪来的
Whoa! Wait. Where did you get that?
后面那台思乐冰机器
The Slurpee machine in the back.
那是遗体防腐液
That’s embalming fluid.
里面有含地沟油吗
Does it have aspartame?
没有
No.
那就好
Cool.
你们快看
Hey, guys, check this out!
数字写很大的蓝色公路呢
What about the blue roads with the big numbers?
那是河川
Those are rivers.
-那是河川 -对
-They’re rivers? -Yeah.
我们可以坐船啊
We could get a boat.
坐船很危险
Boats are dangerous.
就是这里
This is it.
榆木大道6765号♥
6765 Elmwood.
你好像很紧张
You look nervous.
我是很紧张 我就要见女儿
I am nervous! I’m about to meet my kid
却不知道该说什么
and I don’t know what to say to her.
很简单啊
That’s real easy, Har.
随便聊聊你为何错过她多年来的每个生日
You make a little small talk about why you missed all those birthdays,
假日和毕业典礼
holidays and graduations.
再讲几个黄色笑话让她放轻松
Maybe a couple of dick jokes to put her at ease.
然后碰直接切入捐肾的话题
And boing, you hit her up for the kidney.
好吧 如果她拒绝怎么办
Okay. What if she says no?
她不会拒绝
She’s not gonna say no.
她是你的亲生女儿
She’s the fruit of your loom.
妈妈咪呀
Suck me sideways.
你长得和你妈一模一样
You’re the spitting image of your mother.
你们两个傻♥逼♥
You morons.
这是退件地址
This is the return address.
她的地址 是旁边这个盖邮戳的
Hers is on the side with the stamp.
但还是毛毛的
But it’s still uncanny!
大蓝虫除虫害公♥司♥
马里兰州 牛津市
Oxford, Maryland, huh?
原来我女儿多年来就住在这里
So that’s where my little girl’s been living all these years.
哈利
Hey, Har!
你看 超大的胡桃钳
Look it. Giant nutcracker.
我要 夹爆
I want
你的 胡桃
your nuts,
哈 利
Harry!
真希望她小时候我能陪在她身边
Boy, I sure wish I could have been there for her when she was little.
随便啦
Whatever.
过去就让它过去吧
That’s all water under the fridge now, Har.
往好的方面想
Think of the bright side.
你终于能见到她
You’re finally getting to meet her
而且还不必帮她换臭便便尿布
and you never had to change all those poopie diapers.
这才是为人父母嘛
That’s called being a parent, Lloyd.
况且我帮你换臭便便尿布二十年
Besides, I changed your poopie diapers for 20 years.
你真的被我骗大了
I totally sucked you in.
有一半的便便根本不是我的
Half the time, it wasn’t even my poop.
不知道养小孩是什么感觉
I wonder what it would have been like to raise a child.
可能供不起她念最好的公立学校
Maybe I couldn’t afford to send her to the best public schools,
但我一定会是个好爸爸
but I’ll bet I would have been a pretty good dad.
你不需要辅助轮了 你可以的
You don’t need training wheels. You can do this.
来吧
Here we go!