阿呆与阿瓜2

I had to get somebody to pay your half of the rent
付你那一半房♥租
while you were in the hospital.
你好吗 冰凿子
How’s it going, Ice Pick?
好得不得了
Best day ever. Greatest day of my life, really.
从来没这么好过
Pick cooks up a rock candy
冰凿子做的冰糖会搞得你天旋地转
that will make you dizzy.
全城的人都跑来跟他买♥♥
Folks come from all over the city to buy it.
薰得我眼睛都痛了
It’s burning my eyes.
应该是做辣味的
Must be Cajun style.
你说你生了什么严重的病
So what’s this serious medical problem you’ve been blabbing about?
最好要有爆点
And it better be good.
罗伊 有件事…
Lloyd, there’s something…
我早就知道了
I’ve known about this for a while,
但不想让你担心
but I didn’t wanna worry you.
我需要换肾
I need a kidney transplant.
不会吧 真的假的
No way! Really?
那你今天晚餐想吃什么
So what do you wanna do for dinner tonight?
要不要去海芬兄弟餐馆
Wanna hit Haven Brothers?
我饿到连死臭鼬的屁也想吞掉
I could eat the mud-hole out of a dead skunk!
罗伊 你有在听吗
Are you not listening to me, Lloyd?
换肾是一件大事
Getting a new kidney is a really big deal.
有很多人在等 要填很多表格
There’s waiting lists, lots and lots of forms to fill out,
如果不能赶快换肾我就成尸体了
and if I can’t find another kidney real soon, I’m dead meat.
不过或许 只是可能
Maybe, just maybe,
这世上有个人非常关心你
there’s a person out there who cares about you so much
甚至愿意
that said person would be willing
捐出器官救你一命
to give up a little piece of himself to save your life.
真的吗 你愿意救我
Really, Lloyd? You’d do that?
我 这个不错 想得美
Me? Yeah, right! Nice try!
好笑
The nerve!
我是说我很乐意啦
I mean, I would, in a New York heartbeat.
只是我尿液和你不符
I’m just not a urine match.
不像你尿尿那么多泡沬
My wizz doesn’t get all sudsy like yours.
等一下 先别慌张
Wait. Don’t panic.
我知道该怎么做了
I know exactly what we gotta do.
这不好吧
I don’t know about this, Lloyd.
我二十几年没回家了
I haven’t been home in over 20 years.
别闹了
Come on, Harry!
你需要血亲
You need a genital organ match.
他们是你的爸妈
They’re your parents.
他们那样对我
I’m not gonna go crawling back to them, Lloyd.
我不想去求他们
Not after what they did to me.
他们怎样对你
What did they do?
把我逐出家门
They threw me out of the house.
为什么 因为我说我是同性恋
Why? Just because I told them I was gay.
你干嘛这样讲
Why did you tell them that?
因为我不想去割草
I was sick of mowing the lawn.
是喔
Oh, yeah.
但我看你别无选择
Well, I don’t see what choice you have.
你要不是回家面对现实
You either go home and face the music
就是被自己的尿给毒死
or you suffocate in your own pee.
你说得对
Yeah, I guess you’re right.
好 我们回去吧
Okay, let’s do this.
好 上车
All right. Hop on.
全速前进
Engage super thrusters!
不要啦
Don’t, Lloyd!
抱歉 哈利
Pardon me, Harry.
到了
Here we are.
我记得我家没这么小
Place looks smaller than I remember.
对啊
Oh, yeah.
这条街上有好多回忆
Lot of memories on this street.
对啊
Yeah.
还记得几秒前
Remember when we pulled up on the bike
我们才把脚踏车停在这里吗
and parked it a couple seconds ago?
记得啊 那超酷的
Yeah, that was cool.
好怀念啊
Oh, those were the days.
还记得有个下午
I remember one afternoon,
春光乍现
it was the first day of spring,
百花盛开 阳光普照大地
the flowers were blooming, the sun was shining
你和我翻筋斗
and you and I were doing cartwheels
滚下那个山坡
right down that hill over there.
我记得
Yeah, I remember that!
-还跟你♥爸♥的车一起对吗 -对
-We were in your dad’s Lincoln, right? -Yeah.
我抢你方向盘你就整个失控了
You totally lost it when I yanked the wheel.
快开门
Come on! Pick it up!
动作快一点
Show a little hustle in there!
不见 哈利
Wow. Rong time, Harry!
抱歉 我们改天再来
Oh, sorry. We’ll come back later.
不是啦 我是说
Hey! No, no, no! I mean,
好久不见
rong time, no see.
你上哪儿去了
Where you been?
快进来
Come! Come in!
谢谢爸
Oh! Thanks, Dad.
最有可能
So you see,
捐肾给我的就是血亲
my best hope for a donor match is with a blood relative.
家人
Family.
哈利 你都没吃花生酱
Harry, you not touch your peanut butter.
没关系 我不饿啦
Oh, that’s okay. I’m not very hungry, Dad.
哈利小时候
When Harry young,
超爱吃花生酱
oh, boy, he loves the peanut butter.
三罐 一个礼拜 不见了
Three jar a week disappear!
谢谢你告诉我
Good to know.
所以你们哪一位要捐肾给他
So anyway, which one of you two’s gonna cough up a kidney?
你讲啦 他不是我们生的嘛
什么 那是什么
What? What was that?
等一下
Wait!
我知道了 你是《疯狂高尔夫》里那只地鼠
I know! You’re the gopher from Caddyshack.
你看 她那个表情超像的
Look at her! She’s got it down!
我们爱你 哈利
We love you, Harry.
你爱他很久了吗
Do you love him long time?
可惜你不是我们亲生的
But you know you’re not our real son, right?
你是领养来的
You adopted.
夭寿
Ouch.
爸 你在说什么
Dad, what are you saying?
对不起
Sorry, Harry.
我们以为你知道
We thought you know.
好大的打击
What a nut punch.
别难过 哈利
Don’t be glum, Har.
这表示你亲生父母在别的地方
All this means is that your real parents are out there somewhere.
我会找遍天涯海角…
And I will go to the ends of the earth to…
你亲生父母死了
Real parents dead.
你死定了
You’re boned.
詹姆死·邦德
James boned.
哈利 哈利
Harry, Harry.
我很爱你的 要小心点 每晚睡觉前要记得尿尿好吧
妈 我听不懂你在说什么 但你也一样啦
No idea what you’re saying, Ma, but right back at you.
哈利 这是你多年来累积的信件
Harry, before you go, your mail piling up for many year.
我们都有帮你留着
Oh. We saving for you.
垃圾邮件 还是垃圾邮件
Huh. Junk mail, junk mail.
我被亚历桑纳大学录取了
I got accepted to Arizona State.
你看这个
Oh, look at this.
这是芙蕾妲·费尔契寄来的明信片
It’s a postcard from Fraida Felcher.
家住克伦斯顿的那个美眉
The chick from Cranston?
她写了什么
So, what’d she have to say?
“哈利 我怀孕了 请你和我联络”
“Harry, I’m pregnant. Please call me.”
罗伊 我要当爸爸了
Lloyd, I’m gonna be a dad!
不会吧
No way!
你看看这个邮戳
Look at the postmark.
1991年
1991.
你知道这代表什么吗
Do you know what this means, Harry?
你有个成年的小孩
You have a grown kid. Oh.
有成年的肾可以捐