阿呆与阿瓜2

-怎么不会 -对啊
-Why wouldn’t we? -Yeah!
我们根本没做♥爱♥过
Because we never had sex.
差点就被你唬了
You could have fooled us.
对 少骗人了 白雪公主
Yeah, nice try, Snow White.
讲到”泡泡澡”你想起来了吗
Does the word “hot tub” jog your memory?
记得
If I recall,
我那晚玩你的咪♥咪♥玩很久
I played with your boobies for a long time that night.
汽艇式
The motor boat,
雨刷式
the windshield wipers,
沙包式
the punching bag.
哈利
You know, Harry,
把玩咪♥咪♥不会让女人怀孕
you can’t get a woman pregnant by man-handling her breasts.
真的吗
Oh, really?
那你的门把怎么硬了
Then why did your doorbells get so hard?
对 你忘了车后座的
Yeah. And did you forget about the French tickler,
保险套吗
in the back of the van?
在手指上套了夜光保险套
Putting a frilly, glow-in-the-dark condom on your finger
和做♥爱♥是不一样的
is not the same as having sex.
那如果我这样呢
But what if I go like this?
也不是
No.
好吧 毕卡索博士 你对做♥爱♥的定义是什么
Okay, Dr. Picasso, what’s your definition of sex?
不可能
No way!
那是…
That’s just…
我妈才不会这样
Not my mom!
那是她尿尿的地方
But that’s where she pees!
我被洗♥脑♥了 忘不掉啦
It’s in my head and I can’t unlearn it!
你好坏
You’re bad!
你能示范吗
Can you show us?
我们轮番上阵
I call sloppy seconds!
看来别人都有伴了
Looks like everyone else ended up with someone.
对啊
Yep.
我有这块猪排
And I got this pork chop.
我就直说吧 哈利
So let me get this straight, Har.
你最后一次去精神病院看我
When you visited me in the nuthouse the last time…
就知道佩妮的事了
… you knew about Penny already?
没有 我是去看我爸妈才知道的
No, I found out about her when we visited my parents.
但我有怀疑你是假装的
But I had finally figured out that you were faking.
真的假的 怎么发现的
Really? How?
我哪里露馅了
What gave it away?
几个月前我在你睡前帮你换尿布
A few months ago, I was changing your diaper before bedtime
你似乎有点太兴奋了
and you just seemed a little too upbeat.
罗伊
Lloyd,
虽然今天是圣诞夜
even though it’s Christmas Eve,
但我要你知道我宁可在这里
I want you to know that there’s no place I would rather be
帮我最好的朋友擦屁♥股♥
than right here, wiping my best friend’s dookie.
你好像又有礼物要送我了
Looks like we got another stocking stuffer.
这个我记得
I remember that.
我那晚吃羊肉配蛋酒 对吧
That was the night I had all that eggnog and lamb, right?
对
Yeah. Whoa!
罗伊
Lloyd!
快看12点钟方向的辣妹
Check out the hotties at 12 o’clock.
还有三个小时才12点
That’s almost three hours away.
我不能现在就看吗
Can’t I check them out now?
好吧
Okay, Lloyd,
这次我们不能再错过了
This time we’re not gonna be stupid and pass up a sure thing.
我同意
I hear you, Har.
再也不会有这么好的机会了
We’ll never get another chance like this.
我们终于等到了
Our time has finally come.
树丛趴
Bush club!
谨以本片献给 原本叫”达奇”的艺人
靠
Oh, crap!
我点香草奶昔 他们给巧克力的
I ordered a vanilla shake and they gave me a chocolate one.
我也是 我点的是巧克力奶昔
Tell me about it. I ordered a chocolate shake.
那些猪头给我香草的
Those dopes gave me a vanilla one.
他们老是这样
They do that a lot.
搞什么鬼
What the hell?
要他们好看
Kick his ass, Seabass!
那两个王八蛋
Arr, the dirty sons-of-bitches!
2034年暑假再见