酷毙了

Dead-ass serious.
好吧
Okay.
好吧 等等
Okay. All right. Wait.
这事挺扯的 老兄
‘Cause this is ridiculous, man.
为什么 这么多年来
Why the fuck, after all these years,
你们可以叫我黑鬼 而我却不能
you can call me N-word and I can’t say it?
听着 我们已经讨论过这事了
Yo, look, we already went over this.
否则我又得扇你耳光了
I’ll have to slap the shit out of you again.
我可不想这么做
I don’t want to do that.
看到没 这根本不公平 根本不公平
See, that’s not even right. I mean, like, really.
你知道我没恶意的 这完全是爱称
You know I’m not the one, all right? This is all love here.
我们能回到之前的话题么…
Look, let’s–let’s get back–
你叫我帮你们做点事
Hey, you asked me to do something for you.
可我的想法是”搞毛啊” 我才不加入 我根本不在乎
I’m like, “What?” I’m down. I don’t give a fuck.
因为你们是我兄弟 好么 你们是我”黑…”
Because you’re my people, all right? You’re my n–
然而遇到这种情况我就得把话吞回去
And this is where I would insert that word.
这不是针对你 你还是我家黑鬼
It’s nothing personal. You’re still my nigga.
但是在原则上我还是得扇你耳光
But I gotta slap the shit out of you based on principle.
我们回到之前的话题
Let’s get back to what’s goin’ on.
等等等 原则
No, no, no. Wait. Principle?
你想聊聊原则是么 那吉布怎么算
Okay, you want to talk principle. What about Jib here, man?
他都不是非洲裔美国人
This dude isn’t African-American.
他就像是拉丁美洲人或者摩洛哥人之类的
He’s like fucking Latino or Moroccan or some shit.
你到底想表达什么
Where’s this conversation going?
准确来说 他也不能说那个词
Technically, he shouldn’t be able to say the word.
-他怎么就能用 -好的 因为我有14%的非洲血统
-Why can he use it? -Okay. Because I’m 14% African.
14 这根本…
Four–Fourteen? That doesn’t–
操 我都可能有14%
Shit, I’m probably 14%.
我确实是14%非洲血统 去Ancestry.com查
I am 14% African. Ancestry.Com.
我们根本不在乎了
Look, we don’t give a fuck.
-真的 -想说就说吧
-For real? -Just say the damn word, okay?
-根本无所谓 听起来很酷 对吧 -我根本不在乎
-It doesn’t matter. It’s cool, right? -I don’t give a shit.
我在乎 千万别说
I give a fuck. Don’t say that shit.
否则我扇死你
I will slap the shit out of you.
不不不 你可不能
No, no, no. No, you won’t
因为少数票服从多数票
because you have been outvoted by your peers.
我是乔治·沃克·布♥什♥
I’m George W. Bush.
我才不管怎么票数如何
I don’t give a fuck what the vote says.
-蒂格 -干嘛
Dig. What the fuck?
让他说吧
Let him say it.
-好吧 你可以说 -谢谢
-All right, you can say it. -Thank you.
我很感激 真的
And I appreciate that. I really do.
就像我之前说的 黑鬼…
Now, like a nigga was saying–
搞毛啊
What the fuck!
搞毛啊
What the fuck?
-搞毛啊 -哟 本能反应而已
What the fuck? Yo, it was a reflex.
-本能反应 本能反应 -蒂格
-Reflex? A fuckin’ reflex? -Dig!
我不会再打了 对不起
It won’t happen again. I’m sorry.
听好 威廉姆 我们需要你帮忙卖♥♥这东西
Look. Will, we need your help to sell this shit.
这才是我们的目的
That’s why we’re here.
等等等 你们怎么拿到这东西的
Whoa. How did you guys get this?
说来话长了 老兄
It’s a long story, man.
你能不能帮我们
We need to know if you’re gonna help us.
为什么找我 你们很轻松就可以设立一个网站
Why? I mean, you guys could set that type of shit up easily.
不对 黑鬼 我们做不到你这样 懂么
Nah, nigga, not like you. Okay?
我得不留痕迹 这事决不能追踪到我头上来
I need to go ghost. None of this shit can point back to me.
我需要的安全保障只能找黑客
The type of protection I need for this shit requires a hacker.
要匿名
Anon shit.
你黑入过美国南加州大学的数据库
You broke into the fucking USC database.
喂喂喂 等等
Hey, hey. No, no, no. Okay?
那是萨摩做的 不是我做的 懂么
Samo did that. I don’t know shit, all right?
随便吧 黑鬼
Whatever, nigga.
听着 我们不懂怎么卖♥♥毒品
Look, we don’t know shit about selling dope.
完全不懂
Nothing.
不知道重量单位 不知道术语 不知道价钱
Nothing about the units, the terminology, the pricing.
完全不懂
None of that shit. I don’t
我连这袋到底值多少都不知道
even know how much this fucking bag is worth.
而你知道
You do.
好吧
Okay.
但如果这是萨摩级别的工作的话
But if this is a Samo-type job,
老兄 我可不能只算帮你们的忙
man, I can’t just do this as a favor.
你想怎样 利润里分红
What do you want? A percentage of the profits?
滚粗吧
Fuck that.
付我摇♥头♥丸♥
Pay me in Molly.
把它切分好 然后测量好…
Cut up the shit. You’re gonna want to measure it out…
好方便以克为单位来打包卖♥♥出
so you can bag it up in grams, sell it that way.
不过 你知道的
But, you know, what a lot of
现在的小孩们都喜欢药片形状的
the kids are liking nowadays is the pill form.
我们在哪设立网站
So, where we setting up shop?
就在这
Here.
-这 -对 就这
Here? Yeah. Here.
你弱智吗
Are you fuckin’ retarded?
不 其实这想法挺天才的 老兄
No. It’s actually genius, bro.
我们只有科学实验室
We have a science lab.
我们想参加谷歌♥科学挑战赛
We want to enter the Google Science Fair.
我们只需要你开放科学实验室
All we need you to do is open up the science labs,
然后剩下的交给我们
and we can do everything else.
别搞丢了 好么
Don’t lose that shit, okay?
我们的计算机实验室别人都不能用
We have a computer lab which nobody ever uses.
而乐团里的东西
And all the supplies laying
非常适合用来运输
around the band room would be perfect for shipping.
而最棒的一部分是 看好了
And the best part–watch.
没人会起疑心
Nobody’s going to suspect a thing.
我们就表现得像极客一样
We’re just geeks doing what geeks do.
对吧 要的就是这个效果 兄弟
Right? That’s what I’m saying, bro. You’re into it, bro.
你们如何
What’s up?
-哟 -如何
Yo. What’s up?
恭喜你们网店建立好了
Hey, congratulations on getting the store set up.
现在我们需要去找点客人对吧
Now, uh, we gotta get you guys some customers, right?
-嗯 -快来看看
-Yeah. -Check it out.
我屋里在开派对
My house is having a party.
就差个乐团了
We could use a cool band.
好吧 要不然…
Okay. Say we’re, like–
要不然你引用说唱歌♥词怎么样
What about if you’re quoting, like, rap lyrics?
均为黑人说唱歌♥手
我们都听”The Chronic”和”Doggystyle”
Say we’re all listening to The Chronic, Doggystyle.
我们都跟着唱 我们该怎么说
We’re all rapping along. Like, what are we supposed to say?
-抱歉 这完全不行 -是的
I’m sorry. That’s bullshit, dude. Yes.
-那艺术家的想法怎么样 -老兄
-What about the artist’s intent? -Dude,
我就是这个意思
that is exactly what I’m talking about, man.
老兄 我在YouTube上看到你马子莉莉了
Dude, I saw your bitch, Lily, on YouTube.
好吧 莉莉已经不是我马子了 所以说…
Okay. Well, Lily is not my bitch anymore, so–
那我能去搭讪她么 老兄
Then can I get at her, dude?
我得搞清楚她到底磕了什么
‘Cause I gotta find out what she was on.
黑鬼 我不在乎 懂么
Nigga, I don’t give a fuck. All right?
要去就去吧 老兄 不过说真的 她嗑的是这个
Go for it, dude. Hey, but for real, she was using this.
麦克风测试 一二一二
Um–Mike check. One, two. One, two.
嗨
Um, hi.
我是马尔科姆·摇滚 吉他手
I’m Malcolm Ad-Rock on guitar.
还有 叮叮蒂格·道森 鼓手
We’ve got diggity Diggy Dawson on the drums,
而这位
and we’ve got steel-faced
铁脸·脑洞·吉布是贝斯手
bobblehead Jibby right here on the bass.
赶紧演奏吧 小公主
Play something, Fresh Prince!
好的 我们是”Awreeoh乐队”
All right. We are Awreeoh.
马上就开始 一二
We’re about to turn it up, okay? One, two.
一二三四
One, two, three, four.
怎么回事
What the fuck?
蒂格 蒂格 蒂格
Diggy, Diggy, Diggy!
哟 去他妈的摇♥头♥丸♥ 老兄
Yo, fuck Molly, dawg!
这完全是莉莉的功劳
It’s all about that Lily, son!
我还怎么吃我的磅…
How am I supposed to eat my p-p-p–