酷毙了

I know from growing up there it’s very, very dangerous…
而且你的家人
and that your family or
或者你的朋友随时有被杀害的危险
your friends could get killed at any moment…
而且原因就只是出现在了不该出现的时间和地点
just by being in the wrong place at the wrong time.
我可不想这种事发生在你
I’d hate for that to happen to you…
或你家人身上
or any of your family members.
上车么
Getting on?
看来你今天和我一样遭
Looks like you and I had the same kind of day.
面试怎么样了
How’d the interview go?
好吧
Okay.
坐下吧
Well, sit down.
我这班马上就结束了 我带你回家
My shift’s almost over. I’ll take you home.
谢了 妈妈
Thanks, Mom.
今天在”七块钱咖啡店”出现的意外一幕
The incident took place today at Seven Bucks Coffee–
似乎是因为夜店人气毒品
apparently the side effects
二亚甲基双氧苯♥丙♥胺♥ 又称”摇♥头♥丸♥”的副作用引起的
of the popular club drug MDMA, or “Molly.”
谭尼希尔·詹姆斯见证了这匪夷所思的一幕
Tannehill James was a witness to this bizarre scene.
我当时在”七块钱咖啡店”
So, I’m here at the Seven Bucks,
喝我的香草拿铁咖啡
drinking my vanilla chai latte…
和吃我的磅饼
and eating me some pound cake.
因为你知道黑鬼不吃烤饼 对吧
‘Cause you know niggas don’t eat scones, right?
突然间 一个发疯的女人光着身子出现了…
When all of a sudden this crazy little naked ho comes up…
然后就地蹲下
and she squatted down right
在我面前撒起尿来
in front of me and she pissed right there.
我发誓
I swear to God.
在那撒了好久的尿
Pissed right there for a long time.
你告诉我 在见证了这一幕之后
So, now, you tell me how am I supposed to eat my pound cake…
我还怎么吃磅饼
after witnessing something like that?
这里是现场报道 卡伦·耶特 10频道新闻
Reporting live, Karen Myetta, Channel 10 News.
接下来 在英格尔伍德街爆发了枪战
Up next, a fight over lunch turns deadly in Inglewood.
他有没有说
Did he actually say, “I’ll kill
“如果你不把这些毒品卖♥♥掉 我就杀了你和你朋友”
you and your friends if you don’t sell these drugs”?
或者说只杀你 怎么
Or just you? What?
-别装作你不感兴趣 -没有直说
Don’t act like you weren’t curious too. Not directly.
他说的是亚马逊
He was talking about Amazon
和”Rick Ross”的CD没有送到客户手上
and Rick Ross CDs not getting to their customers.
黑鬼们现在都已经不买♥♥CD了 老兄
Niggas don’t even buy CDs anymore, dawg.
吉布 你没抓住重点
Jib, that’s not the fucking point!
难道你想去大街上贩毒
Are you gonna go and sell on the corner?
因为我们只是一群胆小鬼 老兄
‘Cause we’re a bunch of bitches, man.
-别替我说话 吉布 -是的
Speak for yourself, Jib. Yes.
我是胆小鬼 但是我不在乎 我承认这事实
I am a bitch-ass nigga. I don’t give a fuck. I own that shit.
你又想装硬汉给谁看 蒂格
Who are you trying to impress, Diggy?
这只是摇♥头♥丸♥ 又不是海♥洛♥因♥
We’re talking about Molly, Jib, not fucking heroin.
我们只需要找点白人就行了
All we gotta do is find the white people.
-比如去科切拉 鲁拉帕路萨之类的 -嗯 是的
-Go to Coachella, Lollapalooza. -Yeah, yeah.
我们就背上背包 然后搭别人的车
We can backpack and hitchhike and sing
然后一起唱”芒福德和儿子们乐队”的歌♥
Mumford and Sons songs and all that faux fucking shit.
操你 我只是说或许能成功
Fuck you. Okay? I’m just saying it could work.
对 干嘛更进一步 干嘛不去波纳罗音乐节上卖♥♥
Yeah, yeah. Why stop there, you know? Why not hit Bonnaroo also?
比特币
Bitcoins.
-我们就这么做 -做什么
That’s how we do it. Do what?
卧 槽
Oh, shit.
有些网站上你可以卖♥♥任何东西
There’s these sites where you can–you can sell everything…
从假信♥用♥卡♥到非法枪♥械♥和毒品
from fake credit cards to illegal guns and drugs.
而他们用的比特币 所以无法被追踪
And they use Bitcoins so they can’t be traced.
我们不需要去大街上卖♥♥
We don’t have to stand on any corner.
暗网 应该有戏
Dark Web. Could work.
比去柯契拉音乐节好多了
Way better than Coachella.
-伙计们 FBI能追踪我们的 -他们不能
Guys, the FBI can track us. The police–No, they can’t.
-只要你用转接路由 -那是什么鬼
-Not if you use a Tor browser. -What the fuck is that?
-洋葱路由 -分层加密
-Onion routing. -Layered encryptions.
就像几千台电脑一起玩打地鼠
It’s like a game of Whac-A-Mole with thousands of computers–
等等 打地鼠是什么鬼
What the fuck is a Whac-A-Mole?
听好 这些暗网网站用的是这些秘密IP地址
Look, these dark Web sites run off these secret IP addresses.
就像”LulzSec”这种等级的
Like LulzSec-level shady.
我们得想办法找一家
We need to find one somehow.
我们…
W–
威廉·伊恩·舍伍德三世
William Ian Sherwood III.
音乐家 学者 浪子 企业家 阴谋论者
Musician, scholar, rake, entrepreneur, conspiracy theorist.
马尔科姆 吉布和蒂格
Malcolm, Jib and Diggy
在三年前的乐队大本赢里遇到的威廉姆
met William at band camp three years ago.
哟 如果你们这些黑鬼想要大♥麻♥的话
Yo, if you niggas need some weed,
来找我 品质上乘 价钱公道
I got you. Good shit. Fair prices.
威廉姆向他们保证”黑鬼”这个词只是
William assured them that he used the word “Nigga”…
他用来表示爱称的
only as a term of endearment…
就像Q-Tip[老牌MC]唱的经典歌♥曲”Sucka Nigga”里的一样
as explained by Q-Tip in the classic song, “Sucka Nigga.”
这里就是你的房♥间
That’s your room right there.
在这之后 他们都很合得来
After that, they all hit it off.
不过他再也没在他们面前用过那个词了
Though he never used that word in front of them again.
乐队大本赢的目的是
The mission at band camp
方便不同背景的孩子
was to give kids from different backgrounds…
有机会交流音乐
a chance to exchange music
和体验不同的种族文化
and experiences unique to their cultures.
等等 你的意思是 白人女孩会给人口♥交♥
W-W-Wait. Okay, so you’re saying white girls will suck dick…
但还是会说自己是处♥女♥
yet still claim they’re virgins?
-是的 老兄 不开玩笑的 -真的
Yeah, man. I’m serious. Really?
老兄 听好
Dude, check it. I’ve been
我从12岁的时候就开始进嘴里了
getting head since I was, like, 12, all right?
我从14岁开始就已经在捅菊花了
I’ve been hitting hos in the ass since I was, like, 14.
真的 老兄
It’s true, man.
这些妹子会让你进入任何洞 就除了阴♥道♥
These chicks will let you fill any hole, except the pussy,
不让进 完全没问题
with a dick, no problem.
所以 准确来说 你也还是个处♥男♥
So, technically, you’re still a virgin too.
-是啊 -对啊
-Yeah. -Right.
不过有个值得探讨的问题是
But here’s something to wrap your brain around, man.
我从来没进入过阴♥道♥ 对吧
I’ve never had intercourse with a pussy.
只有肛♥交♥和口♥交♥ 对吧
Mm-hmm? Only asshole and oral. Okay?
所以正确的问题不是”我准确来说是不是处♥男♥”
So the question isn’t, “Am I technically a virgin?”
而正确的问题是
What the question could be is…
“我准确来说 是不是Gay”
“Am I technically… gay?”
真深奥啊 老兄
Oh. That’s deep, nigga.
对 我也说不准
Yeah. I don’t know.
威廉姆上的是哔预备学校
William went to–prep school,
他在那一周抽一磅大♥麻♥ 各种逃课
where he smoked a pound of weed a week, skipped classes…
只拿到了1.9的GPA学分
and had a 1.9 GPA,
但是高考成绩却十分理想
yet got a perfect score on his SAT.
他在他父亲的
He was accepted to his
母校接受了留校察看协议
father’s alma mater under academic probation,
意思就是他必须保持3.0的GPA学分
which meant he had to maintain a 3.0 grade point average.
所以说 威廉姆黑进了哔数据库
So, William hacked into the–database,
消除了整届新生的成绩
erasing all grades from the entire freshman class.
小批量 人工酿造 40盎司麦芽酒
Small-batch, craft-brewed, 40-ounce malt liquor.
同一年 他完成了
That same year, he achieved
他的梦想 也就是和黑人女孩做♥爱♥
his dream of having sex with a black girl.
你有没有在嗑摇♥头♥丸♥的时候做过爱
You ever fucked on Molly before?
没有
No.
没关系
Hey, nah, it’s good, man.
感觉就像被上帝操一样
It’s like–It’s like being fucked by God.
所有人都去暗市
Everybody is going to Black
重整旗鼓 换成更小的网站
Market Reloaded and a bunch of smaller sites.
不过 老兄 这事现在已经变得非常棘手了
But, dude, that shit is getting mad sketchy now.
如果你们这群黑鬼
If you nigga–
你们大伙想要毒品的话
If you guys want drugs,
我能以比网上便宜得多的价格给你们弄来
I can get you good shit way less expensive than online.
黑鬼 我们不是想买♥♥
Nigga, we don’t need to buy anything.
我们是想设立一个网店用来卖♥♥
We need to set up a store to sell.
什…少开玩笑 老兄
Wha–Nah, really, dude.
说真的 你们要什么货
What can I get you, man?
我绝对是认真的 黑鬼
I’m dead-ass serious, nigga.
绝对是认真的